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Of Time and Memory: My Parents' Love Story
Don Snyder knew nothing about his mother aside from the terrible fact that she died at the age of nineteen, just sixteen days after giving birth to him and his twin brother. All his life Don had been too shy, too deeply pained to ask his father or grandparents to tell him the story of the lovely girl named Peggy Snyder--what delighted or troubled her, who her friends were, how she fell in love, what cut short her brief life.
But then, nearing his fiftieth birthday and compelled by his father's failing health, Snyder embarked on a quest to find his mother. He traveled many times from his home in Maine down to his mother's small Pennsylvania town to trace her childhood and adolescence. He tracked down Peggy's high school friends, spent time with her teachers, probed the memories of the girls--now elderly women-- who had been her bridesmaids. Detail by detail, Don pieced together the harrowing story of Peggy's final year--her passionate love affair with her husband, the unexpected pregnancy, the sudden illness that consumed her, and the impossible choice she was forced to make.
A heartbreaking, overwhelmingly beautiful book, Of Time and Memory is a story of remembering--and reclaiming--the fragile mystery of a beloved life.
But then, nearing his fiftieth birthday and compelled by his father's failing health, Snyder embarked on a quest to find his mother. He traveled many times from his home in Maine down to his mother's small Pennsylvania town to trace her childhood and adolescence. He tracked down Peggy's high school friends, spent time with her teachers, probed the memories of the girls--now elderly women-- who had been her bridesmaids. Detail by detail, Don pieced together the harrowing story of Peggy's final year--her passionate love affair with her husband, the unexpected pregnancy, the sudden illness that consumed her, and the impossible choice she was forced to make.
A heartbreaking, overwhelmingly beautiful book, Of Time and Memory is a story of remembering--and reclaiming--the fragile mystery of a beloved life.
287 pages, Paperback
First published September 7, 1999
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
August 29, 2017
This was obviously a labor of love. A young man, born a twin, whose mother died soon after his birth goes back and tries to reconstruct her life. Sadly, that life comprised only 19 years.
Snyder's style is what kept me from giving this more stars. It was very dry and devoid of feeling. I had feelings about what I was reading, mostly sorrow, but he seemed to have none. What he found was relayed in such a dry voice, that I felt almost silly for the depth of feeling I would occasionally experience.
In addition to "finding" his mother, he discovers something of a mystery. Why did she die? Did she have to? Had he unraveled that mystery in a different way, I believe this could have been a five star book.
Snyder's style is what kept me from giving this more stars. It was very dry and devoid of feeling. I had feelings about what I was reading, mostly sorrow, but he seemed to have none. What he found was relayed in such a dry voice, that I felt almost silly for the depth of feeling I would occasionally experience.
In addition to "finding" his mother, he discovers something of a mystery. Why did she die? Did she have to? Had he unraveled that mystery in a different way, I believe this could have been a five star book.
February 10, 2023
Don Snyder sets out to learn about the woman who birthed him and his twin brother. Synder refers to her as his mother in this book, although I believe the "mothering" he received growing up came at the hands of his father's second wife. I certainly won't hold this against him. His mother is an enigma whom no one is his family mentions or references. She passed away mere days after their birth and it broke his father's spirit. Much time has passed since her death and people's memories have faded or they have chosen to blot it out. Snyder learns bits and pieces and weaves together his parents' story as he imagines it. It is a sad, sweet tale. His mother was a stubborn young woman prone to depression who viewed her worth by her beauty. She watched her beauty leech out of her as her toxic pregnancy and her dark thoughts alienated herself from her life. Reading this book made me feel like I was intruding upon someone's very private and repetitive story. I feel Snyder was working through the stages of grief by writing this story.
September 26, 2017
As I finished this book, I became angry at Don Snyder's mother. She chose to give up her life in order that her child might live. I am sure it was a difficult decision, but I feel she should have given her husband and her parents a chance to help her decide. As it turns out, she had twins...........so she left two little boys without a mother. I also feel angry at the doctor and hospital who let her go home from the hospital several days after the twins were born. I am not sure if they could have done anything to help or save her..........after all, this was around l950 long before all of the medical advances that we take for granted today.
I guess the author made up a lot as he wrote this book, since it is listed as fiction instead of non fiction. He really has no idea what his mother was thinking or how she felt. Still, I commend him for being brave enough to seek out the truth about his mothers short life and for having the courage to write this book.
I guess the author made up a lot as he wrote this book, since it is listed as fiction instead of non fiction. He really has no idea what his mother was thinking or how she felt. Still, I commend him for being brave enough to seek out the truth about his mothers short life and for having the courage to write this book.
February 22, 2023
This title took right at three weeks to finish so there were some days that moved more slowly than others.
It’s a sad story, one in which the writer takes a year to drive back and forth from his home in Maine to Pennsylvania where he and his twin brother were born and then lost their mother sixteen days after they were born. His intent is to meet and interview everyone who knew his mother, bridesmaids, nurses, neighbors.
More later:2/22/2023 3 Stars ⭐️
It’s a sad story, one in which the writer takes a year to drive back and forth from his home in Maine to Pennsylvania where he and his twin brother were born and then lost their mother sixteen days after they were born. His intent is to meet and interview everyone who knew his mother, bridesmaids, nurses, neighbors.
More later:2/22/2023 3 Stars ⭐️
January 5, 2020
Read in 2001
Books not added to my Goodreads account are transferred from my old 'records' notebook.
Books not added to my Goodreads account are transferred from my old 'records' notebook.
May 21, 2012
A serendipitous pick at the library. Just browsing the shelves and found this book...just weeks before celebrating my son's 38th birthday. Other ironies: I'm the same age as the author and I was diagnosed with toxemia when pregnant with my son. Unlike the author's mother, I had a good outcome. Both my son and I survived. When Don Snyder describes his mother ripping the seams of her maternity clothes because she couldn't fit in them anymore, memory flashed back as I eventually only had one outfit I could wear. I gained 75 pounds during this pregnancy and I used to joke that I could sit and watch the fat cells grow. The book is a sad exploration into the life of the author's mother...her brief "love affair" with the author's father. The grief of all who knew Peggy who died at 19. Mr. Snyder touches on the melancholy nature of his mother, the emptiness of never hearing anyone talk about his mother, and the rush to find her story before his father dies. I liked this book because of my own love for family stories, genealogy, and the importance I place on knowing as much as we can about our family history. If you share these interests, I recommend you read this book. a good book club possibility as it lends itself to great discussion on so many issues.
March 23, 2008
Some authors write books to have written them--their product is the end result. In this book, the writing was Snyder's recording of the end result--his giving meaning to the mother he lost.
That being said, the sentimental value alone is not reason enough to read it; sentiment is fine, but it's Snyder's opening up, his fear of knowing things as they happen that makes you feel you're there, like you're seeing it happen in the moment vs. hearing the spin the author has put on it afterward. That's a great challenge for a writer, for it's so easy (and justified) to put a colorful spin on a story once you've had time to think about it. I've told friends that Snyder writes as if he's telling his best friend in private and you the reader are merely overhearing it. That's refreshing, for the author shows his own fears and flaws as he learns them along the way.
ONE OF MY FIVE BEST BOOKS OF ALL TIME.
That being said, the sentimental value alone is not reason enough to read it; sentiment is fine, but it's Snyder's opening up, his fear of knowing things as they happen that makes you feel you're there, like you're seeing it happen in the moment vs. hearing the spin the author has put on it afterward. That's a great challenge for a writer, for it's so easy (and justified) to put a colorful spin on a story once you've had time to think about it. I've told friends that Snyder writes as if he's telling his best friend in private and you the reader are merely overhearing it. That's refreshing, for the author shows his own fears and flaws as he learns them along the way.
ONE OF MY FIVE BEST BOOKS OF ALL TIME.
December 14, 2007
Don Snyder's mother died in 1950 at the age of nineteen. She had given birth to Don and his twin brother only sixteen days prior to her death. Snyder delves into his mother's past to tell her brief life story. Snyder's mother, Peggy, suffered from preeclampsia, a medical condition which apparently still accounts for approximately 76,000 deaths per year, according to the Preeclampsia Foundation. This book is terribly sad as Snyder culls through his parents' past and reveals his mother's ultimate sacrifice in order to save the lives of her twin sons.
February 7, 2011
Watched a beautiful movie, Sweet Land, which starts by quoting this book... "Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story." And yet, the love story that precedes Mr. Snyder does not give him the peace and bouyancy that he needs. Poor man! He needs to forgive himself and relish in the life that was given to him, since it really was preceded by a great (but sad) love story. Well written, intense, and deep.
September 18, 2015
This book had a lot better rating then I would have given it. There was way too much repetitiveness! It was interesting learning about his Mother, who definitely had a mental disorder, and finding out why she died after the birth of her twin babies. Her death was in the 60's, so it was definitely a different time. The main story line seemed to be who to blame for his Mother's death, not about their love story, even though that was in there, too. I wouldn't recommend this book.
September 7, 2008
One of the saddest books I have ever read, OF TIME AND MEMORY nevertheless reflects the difficult exigencies that someone somewhere has to face every day. Snyder's search for one love story turned into another of a different kind.
March 29, 2014
Well written and at points incredibly sad, but the story was not gripping enough to grab me and keep my attention. It might have made a good article in a magazine but I'm not sure it needed an entire book to tell the story.
March 11, 2015
What an amazing author...to dedicate such time and put all his love into finding the people that knew his mother when she was alive... And then to write her love story... So beautiful... She is smiling down on her son... The son she gave her life for
September 19, 2007
horribly sad story, but Snyder writes beautifully. He was quoted at the beginning of the film Sweetland and I had to search for this book in order to read more.
February 3, 2008
A melancholy love story. It's a dark work of art.
October 20, 2010
Wow!!!!
September 22, 2012
THIS BOOK IS HEARTBREAKINGLY MAGNIFICENT -- A RARE MEMOIR ABOUT THE MYSTERY AND POWER OF LOVE BETWEEN A SON AND THE YOUNG MOTHER HE NEVER GOT TO KNOW. BREATHTAKING!
July 10, 2013
An excellent memoir of the author's mother and her sacrifice.
August 2, 2015
I grew up in Hatfield and knew many of the people interviewed as well as the locations. However I did not like the style of writing
August 9, 2016
Beautifully written
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews