What do you think?
Rate this book
My Family and Other Enemies: Life and Travels in Croatia's Hinterland
My Family and Other Enemies is part travelogue, part memoir that dives into the hinterland of Croatia. Mary Novakovich explores her ongoing relationship with the region of Lika in central Croatia, where her parents were born. 'Lika is little known to most travellers - apart from Plitvice Lakes National Park and the birthplace of Nikola Tesla' she says. 'It's a region of wild beauty that has been battered by centuries of conflict. Used as a buffer zone between the Habsburg and Ottoman empires for hundreds of years, Lika became a land of war and warriors. And when Yugoslavia started to disintegrate in 1991, it was here where some of the first shots were fired.'
Shipped off to Lika as a child during the supposedly golden years of Tito to stay with relatives she barely knew, Novakovich has been revisiting Croatia ever since, researching the story of her family's often harrowing life: in 1941 her aunt was the only survivor of Serbs massacred by Croatian fascists; and her mother saved her grandmother from being buried alive when she was thought to be dead from typhus. Amidst adversity there is resilience and laughter, too, with plenty of light to balance the shade. Eccentric and entertaining characters abound, showing typically sardonic Balkan humour. And, this being the Balkans, much of daily life revolves around food, which features prominently.
Throughout, aspects of Croatian history that relate to Lika are woven into the narrative to give the story some much-needed context. And in recounting her own family's tumultuous history, Novakovich opens up a world that is little known outside the Balkans, telling the stories of people whose experiences weren't widely reported at the time, when the devastation in Croatia was superseded by the Bosnian conflict and media attention moved elsewhere.
Shipped off to Lika as a child during the supposedly golden years of Tito to stay with relatives she barely knew, Novakovich has been revisiting Croatia ever since, researching the story of her family's often harrowing life: in 1941 her aunt was the only survivor of Serbs massacred by Croatian fascists; and her mother saved her grandmother from being buried alive when she was thought to be dead from typhus. Amidst adversity there is resilience and laughter, too, with plenty of light to balance the shade. Eccentric and entertaining characters abound, showing typically sardonic Balkan humour. And, this being the Balkans, much of daily life revolves around food, which features prominently.
Throughout, aspects of Croatian history that relate to Lika are woven into the narrative to give the story some much-needed context. And in recounting her own family's tumultuous history, Novakovich opens up a world that is little known outside the Balkans, telling the stories of people whose experiences weren't widely reported at the time, when the devastation in Croatia was superseded by the Bosnian conflict and media attention moved elsewhere.
- GenresTravelNonfiction
271 pages, Paperback
Published October 1, 2022
About the author
Mary Novakovich
10 books7 followersMary has been a journalist for more than 30 years, freelance since 1997 and focusing on travel since 1999. Clients include the Guardian, Telegraph, Independent and Evening Standard.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
November 16, 2022
I have only been to Croatia once. We had a lovely holiday, the only sour moment being when my wallet was nicked in Spit when were there for the day. We visited various spots including a beautiful national park where we had one of the largest thunderstorms that I personally have ever known. The family that owned the place where we stayed were all lovely and there was no hint of the atrocities that took place there when the region descended into war in the early 1990s.
Mary Novakovich has a very different experience of the country though, her parent were born there but ended up in the UK leaving behind many relatives. She first visited in 1976 to stay with family when the country was still ruled by Tito, Even though she had been brought up in a Serbian-speaking household, she realised that she was going to struggle to understand these relatives that she had never seen before. They were equally bemused by this girl who had a funny accent, It was quite a culture shock for both sides of the family, but they all made memories that they still recalled many years on.
It would be another 28 years before she returned.
Her mother, Jelka would accompany her on this trip in 2004. She has a list of places that she wants to go to with the hope of unravelling some of her family histories a bit more. Being older and wiser she could appreciate the beauty of the place and especially the food much more. She is revelling in the chance to discover more about the country and has a list of things to do. Her mother has other ideas though and it leads to quite a strained trip at times.
She heads out there again in 2009 with her mother, but in 2011 she arrives in the country with her husband. He had heard so much about the place and this was his first time there. They arrived to find there was a wine festival taking place. Somehow they managed to be free of hangovers in the morning and set off on their travels around Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia and into Hungary. She manages to get to meet and see people that she didn’t have the opportunity to do on earlier trips. Her final visit was in 2019 just before travel became almost impossible because of the pandemic.
I did like the layering of her travels in the region. Some of the visits may have been short, but it added depth to the work she was doing as she pieced together her own family history. I felt that I became part of her journey of discovery of her family and the place where they still lived. I liked her writing style too, she is open and honest about the many tragedies that have befallen the country and the horrid events that the people, including her family, have suffered. She is a sensitive traveller too, noting the strides that have been made since the wars whilst acknowledging the raw feelings and hurt that still lie just under the surface. I really liked this, it is an insight into a country by an author who brings it to life.
Mary Novakovich has a very different experience of the country though, her parent were born there but ended up in the UK leaving behind many relatives. She first visited in 1976 to stay with family when the country was still ruled by Tito, Even though she had been brought up in a Serbian-speaking household, she realised that she was going to struggle to understand these relatives that she had never seen before. They were equally bemused by this girl who had a funny accent, It was quite a culture shock for both sides of the family, but they all made memories that they still recalled many years on.
It would be another 28 years before she returned.
Her mother, Jelka would accompany her on this trip in 2004. She has a list of places that she wants to go to with the hope of unravelling some of her family histories a bit more. Being older and wiser she could appreciate the beauty of the place and especially the food much more. She is revelling in the chance to discover more about the country and has a list of things to do. Her mother has other ideas though and it leads to quite a strained trip at times.
She heads out there again in 2009 with her mother, but in 2011 she arrives in the country with her husband. He had heard so much about the place and this was his first time there. They arrived to find there was a wine festival taking place. Somehow they managed to be free of hangovers in the morning and set off on their travels around Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia and into Hungary. She manages to get to meet and see people that she didn’t have the opportunity to do on earlier trips. Her final visit was in 2019 just before travel became almost impossible because of the pandemic.
I did like the layering of her travels in the region. Some of the visits may have been short, but it added depth to the work she was doing as she pieced together her own family history. I felt that I became part of her journey of discovery of her family and the place where they still lived. I liked her writing style too, she is open and honest about the many tragedies that have befallen the country and the horrid events that the people, including her family, have suffered. She is a sensitive traveller too, noting the strides that have been made since the wars whilst acknowledging the raw feelings and hurt that still lie just under the surface. I really liked this, it is an insight into a country by an author who brings it to life.
October 10, 2022
Memoir set in CROATIA
Croatia is becoming a hotspot tourist destination and this timely memoir will offer insight for anyone who craves a little personal background and insight into the country.
The author is of Serbian heritage, from a small enclave in Croatia; a handy map at the beginning shows that the family’s provenance is from Lika, near the Plitvice Lakes, not far from the Bosnia/Hercegovina border. Early on, the author’s parents happened to meet in London. The earliest memories she shares are when she is sent off to stay with family in the family homeland in 1976, and, although she had been learning Serbian at home, the reality of the language in its native setting was just a little different! In those early days she describes how she bonded with her heritage and that inspired her subsequently to get to know the country and learn more about her geographical and cultural heritage.
She went on to undertake further visits in the early 2000s, notably with her mother in tow (not an easy trip, given the fiery nature of their relationship). She hires a rental car in Belgrade (Serbia) but even in more recent times, she has to be a little circumspect about travelling with a Belgrade registration plate through Croatia. This is of course because of the very dark history of the area, and she lays out in very simple terms the dynamics of several wars and the atrocities that occurred during WW2, which formed an on-going backdrop to Croatian independence in June 1991. At that point, pockets of Serbs in the country were unsettled with the move to independence, and small enclaves in other countries that made up Yugoslavia also began to establish territory and marshal resistance in an attempt at self preservation. But as we are only too well aware, the whole area was blighted by a terrible war in the 1990s and of course the ripple effect from those years can still be felt in the country today, whether it be ruined buildings, changed countryside or ingrained attitudes.
She details encounters with family members, places of family interest and dives into the food options with real gusto, which is heavily meat based; plus, of course, rakija. There are family photos included in the book to add a personal tone to the adventures the author has undertaken there. The book will make a lovely history for members of her family and offer a bit of personal history for readers who care to understand a little more about the country.
The title is no doubt niftily inspired by Gerald Durrell’s book My Family and Other Animals (Set in Corfu). Just a quick note on the cover: I feel it really wouldn’t entice me to pick the book up, the image just feels a little on the amateurish side, sad to say.
Croatia is becoming a hotspot tourist destination and this timely memoir will offer insight for anyone who craves a little personal background and insight into the country.
The author is of Serbian heritage, from a small enclave in Croatia; a handy map at the beginning shows that the family’s provenance is from Lika, near the Plitvice Lakes, not far from the Bosnia/Hercegovina border. Early on, the author’s parents happened to meet in London. The earliest memories she shares are when she is sent off to stay with family in the family homeland in 1976, and, although she had been learning Serbian at home, the reality of the language in its native setting was just a little different! In those early days she describes how she bonded with her heritage and that inspired her subsequently to get to know the country and learn more about her geographical and cultural heritage.
She went on to undertake further visits in the early 2000s, notably with her mother in tow (not an easy trip, given the fiery nature of their relationship). She hires a rental car in Belgrade (Serbia) but even in more recent times, she has to be a little circumspect about travelling with a Belgrade registration plate through Croatia. This is of course because of the very dark history of the area, and she lays out in very simple terms the dynamics of several wars and the atrocities that occurred during WW2, which formed an on-going backdrop to Croatian independence in June 1991. At that point, pockets of Serbs in the country were unsettled with the move to independence, and small enclaves in other countries that made up Yugoslavia also began to establish territory and marshal resistance in an attempt at self preservation. But as we are only too well aware, the whole area was blighted by a terrible war in the 1990s and of course the ripple effect from those years can still be felt in the country today, whether it be ruined buildings, changed countryside or ingrained attitudes.
She details encounters with family members, places of family interest and dives into the food options with real gusto, which is heavily meat based; plus, of course, rakija. There are family photos included in the book to add a personal tone to the adventures the author has undertaken there. The book will make a lovely history for members of her family and offer a bit of personal history for readers who care to understand a little more about the country.
The title is no doubt niftily inspired by Gerald Durrell’s book My Family and Other Animals (Set in Corfu). Just a quick note on the cover: I feel it really wouldn’t entice me to pick the book up, the image just feels a little on the amateurish side, sad to say.
September 11, 2022
Fascinating, moving and full of warmth. Also left me feeling very hungry...
September 11, 2022
I adored Mary’s book! Having the benefit of knowing the author, I read it all in her, and her mum’s, and her husband Adam’s voices which was so fun and the pages flew by - with lots of snorts of laughter despite the sometimes heavy subject matter.
Bonus points for the history lessons, the travel tips, the enticing descriptions of Serbian food.
Bonus points for the history lessons, the travel tips, the enticing descriptions of Serbian food.
March 8, 2025
A pretty lacklustre account of specifically the Lika region of Croatia, with sad stories of the wars and her childhood summers there in the 70s being the only worthwhile parts of the book. The contemporary portions were full of minutiae that would bore friends and family let alone readers, and in full honesty were not quantifiably better than my own travel notes.
January 9, 2023
A beautiful, informative and comforting book. I visited Lika in July 2019 with my friend, her family had fled the town to Serbia during the 90s war. That experience made me connect with this book that is beautifully written.
March 2, 2025
I really wanted to like this book more than I did.
My family comes from Croatia where both of my grandparents were born in Lika and emigrated in the 1960s. I have spent a lot of time recently researching the area and the history of Croatia through the various occupations, wars, and periods of rebuilding. I struggled to get through this book for a few reasons that I believe are fair warning to others.
1. Vocabulary and word choice: The choice of words at times made no sense to me as they were usually too strong a word for the situation. It made me feel that either I couldn't ever get a grasp on the personality of the writer nor did I trust her reliability to narrate. It felt like she used a list of synonyms and was not attentive to the specific meaning of certain words.
2. Tone: This goes back to point 1, whereby the tone of the writing felt angry to me. There were many sections that read as bitter, resentful, or just plain rude. An example would be her criticisms of other tourists. Can you believe all of these people here taking pictures in the middle of the busiest travel time of the year? I felt like she needed a little dose of reality, perhaps through the aid of an editor. She comes off as a pretty jaded and bitter person throughout most of the book which made it hard for me to enjoy. I don't particularly enjoy being around people who are irritable and veer on the side of an angry disposition nor do I like reading it. The sections with her mother and her fighting went on far too long. I understand showing versus telling but as a reader it was a lot to read their petty and annoying arguments. AND I feel like I should be a more sympathetic reader to this because my grandmother sounds exactly like her mother and we have all dealt with our impatience for her my entire life. It was just a lot for a book.
3. Travel Writing: I know she is a travel writer by trade and that the book is meant to be part travelogue, but I think that the travel writing really gets in the way of a good story. It makes it hard for the book to have a main message or thesis throughout because there are two books happening in place of one. Any main message is conflated. The long passages of travel writing were not interesting to me and I found myself rushing through them to get back to the interesting family stories.
4. Facts and bias: There were certain issues regarding history where she fails to note the historical context of something and it felt like she didn't do her homework. For the most part, this was quite rare. Obviously, she is Serbian and has resentments and family history and stories that merit this, but I felt she stretched the accuracy of history a few times to prove her point or be upset about something.
5. How does it stack up as a memoir? : As a lover of memoir and someone who has taken courses on writing memoir, I think this needed to be a travelogue or a family history. I think she needed to pick one and create a more concrete thesis/ message that each section funneled back into. Memoir is a collection of memories that show learning / growth. I didn't feel this book did that nor did I feel the author showed much self awareness. I would have liked a more clear message and for the various chapters of the book to show more developed reflections that led back into some semblance of what this has all taught her or led her to believe.
All that being said, is 3 stars too high?
The content.
For the most part, her family history, stories, and childhood memories provided for a very interesting story. When she focused on those things along with the culture, family homes, food, etc. I felt the book really shone. Her family does have a deep and sad history and I think her ability to travel back to Lika throughout the years provided for an interesting story about the history of the country and where it stands today. As per number 4 above, she does get it right the majority of the time and does show an effort to write most of the history from a neutral tone.
Overall, it was an interesting read that I wanted to connect with because of my family's background, but I did feel the 5 points listed above took away from my reading experience.
My family comes from Croatia where both of my grandparents were born in Lika and emigrated in the 1960s. I have spent a lot of time recently researching the area and the history of Croatia through the various occupations, wars, and periods of rebuilding. I struggled to get through this book for a few reasons that I believe are fair warning to others.
1. Vocabulary and word choice: The choice of words at times made no sense to me as they were usually too strong a word for the situation. It made me feel that either I couldn't ever get a grasp on the personality of the writer nor did I trust her reliability to narrate. It felt like she used a list of synonyms and was not attentive to the specific meaning of certain words.
2. Tone: This goes back to point 1, whereby the tone of the writing felt angry to me. There were many sections that read as bitter, resentful, or just plain rude. An example would be her criticisms of other tourists. Can you believe all of these people here taking pictures in the middle of the busiest travel time of the year? I felt like she needed a little dose of reality, perhaps through the aid of an editor. She comes off as a pretty jaded and bitter person throughout most of the book which made it hard for me to enjoy. I don't particularly enjoy being around people who are irritable and veer on the side of an angry disposition nor do I like reading it. The sections with her mother and her fighting went on far too long. I understand showing versus telling but as a reader it was a lot to read their petty and annoying arguments. AND I feel like I should be a more sympathetic reader to this because my grandmother sounds exactly like her mother and we have all dealt with our impatience for her my entire life. It was just a lot for a book.
3. Travel Writing: I know she is a travel writer by trade and that the book is meant to be part travelogue, but I think that the travel writing really gets in the way of a good story. It makes it hard for the book to have a main message or thesis throughout because there are two books happening in place of one. Any main message is conflated. The long passages of travel writing were not interesting to me and I found myself rushing through them to get back to the interesting family stories.
4. Facts and bias: There were certain issues regarding history where she fails to note the historical context of something and it felt like she didn't do her homework. For the most part, this was quite rare. Obviously, she is Serbian and has resentments and family history and stories that merit this, but I felt she stretched the accuracy of history a few times to prove her point or be upset about something.
5. How does it stack up as a memoir? : As a lover of memoir and someone who has taken courses on writing memoir, I think this needed to be a travelogue or a family history. I think she needed to pick one and create a more concrete thesis/ message that each section funneled back into. Memoir is a collection of memories that show learning / growth. I didn't feel this book did that nor did I feel the author showed much self awareness. I would have liked a more clear message and for the various chapters of the book to show more developed reflections that led back into some semblance of what this has all taught her or led her to believe.
All that being said, is 3 stars too high?
The content.
For the most part, her family history, stories, and childhood memories provided for a very interesting story. When she focused on those things along with the culture, family homes, food, etc. I felt the book really shone. Her family does have a deep and sad history and I think her ability to travel back to Lika throughout the years provided for an interesting story about the history of the country and where it stands today. As per number 4 above, she does get it right the majority of the time and does show an effort to write most of the history from a neutral tone.
Overall, it was an interesting read that I wanted to connect with because of my family's background, but I did feel the 5 points listed above took away from my reading experience.
May 5, 2026
Thank you for writing this, Mary, and mentioning my Baba Milka in Milwaukee. I love your perspective and brutal honesty.
July 28, 2024
I don’t think this is exactly the story she wanted to write— but she worked with what she got. Delving into how she tried to collect her families history with WWII and the Balkan war (& was her mom sabotaging this attempt b/c she wasn’t ready to face the trauma of her past?).
Complex relationship between mother and daughter. And, as she gets into it, pretty much all the Balkan mothers she brings up (mostly family members) are no pieces of cake (her uncle was told how, after his beloved brother died, his mother said the wrong child died… Ouch.).
- also, this one story about her mom, recovered from typhus after WWII, and saved her mother (in a typhus coma) from being loaded onto a truck and buried alive… holy shit. (And the mother later said that her mother never thanked her after she fully recovered.)
Ethnically Serbian family, parents born in Croatian border towns (dad left in ‘40s and mom in ‘90s)… Starts off with nostalgia, about getting acquainted with her parents’ family for the first time in Belgrade in the ‘70s…
“Strongest link to my parents’ past is through food…”
- and you can really tell. Even if she can’t remember the stories/context that well of her memories, she can easily remember the food she ate or the rakija she was drinking at the time 😅.
The story of her aunt, her great-grandmother, and “the pit” was wholly chilling.
Freelance travel writer. Interesting familial stories, but then it pops in and out of tourist-y article-esque stories. Would’ve preferred just the former imo, but that’s on me, because she is a travel writer.
(Maybe wished she’d talked more about how she & her family felt being Serbian abroad? Or the complexity of childhood memories in Yugoslavia vs. Western media depictions during the war, or nationalism/ ethnic-tensions she might have encountered, but hadn’t fully realized under adulthood, etc. ? But, maybe that’s another book.)
Complex relationship between mother and daughter. And, as she gets into it, pretty much all the Balkan mothers she brings up (mostly family members) are no pieces of cake (her uncle was told how, after his beloved brother died, his mother said the wrong child died… Ouch.).
- also, this one story about her mom, recovered from typhus after WWII, and saved her mother (in a typhus coma) from being loaded onto a truck and buried alive… holy shit. (And the mother later said that her mother never thanked her after she fully recovered.)
Ethnically Serbian family, parents born in Croatian border towns (dad left in ‘40s and mom in ‘90s)… Starts off with nostalgia, about getting acquainted with her parents’ family for the first time in Belgrade in the ‘70s…
“Strongest link to my parents’ past is through food…”
- and you can really tell. Even if she can’t remember the stories/context that well of her memories, she can easily remember the food she ate or the rakija she was drinking at the time 😅.
The story of her aunt, her great-grandmother, and “the pit” was wholly chilling.
Freelance travel writer. Interesting familial stories, but then it pops in and out of tourist-y article-esque stories. Would’ve preferred just the former imo, but that’s on me, because she is a travel writer.
(Maybe wished she’d talked more about how she & her family felt being Serbian abroad? Or the complexity of childhood memories in Yugoslavia vs. Western media depictions during the war, or nationalism/ ethnic-tensions she might have encountered, but hadn’t fully realized under adulthood, etc. ? But, maybe that’s another book.)
June 7, 2023
Mary Novakovich spent her first summer in Croatia in 1976, when her family sent her to Lika, the area where her parents were born, to spend time with extended family. It was another 30 years before she returned, with her mother, to connect with family and to see her parents’ homeland through her mother’s eyes. Much had changed in the 30 years since she was last there, including the wars of the 1990’s where so many were lost, so many fled the area, and so much was damaged. Over the following 15 years, she makes multiple trips to the area, connecting with family and exploring the region that is so central to her family’s story. This is part travelogue, part memoir, part family history, part history that explores the impact of events on everyday people. She visits churches that her family attended, seeks out gravesites, finds memorials to tragedies where her family members were killed. She spends countless hours sitting outdoors and chatting with those who still remember the events of the past. In all of these, she sees how these experiences impacted the lives of those she cares about in ways she would never have imagined without visiting and connecting. Interesting read, particularly if you have connections to the area or are planning a trip to the area. It’s a great piece of armchair travel that gives you such a vivid sense of place.
April 30, 2023
A gloriously evocative travelogue/memoir in which Mary chronicles her Croatian odysseys. These are fuelled by the pull of far-flung family, her heritage, and the complicated, often heart-breaking history of this beautiful but troubled region. A great read for travellers (actual and armchair), adventurers, history buffs, foodies – and anyone who’s braved a road-trip with a difficult relation. Loved it!
March 26, 2026
This had some interesting insights and the author is a good writer but it was ultimately too self indulgent for me. She obviously has a huge family and it felt like we visited every obscure cousin and I just didn’t care about them. If some of the family had been edited out, and replaced with more observations on the history and efforts to reduce rural depopulation, I’d have enjoyed it much more.
August 7, 2026
Absolutely loved this book - the perfect holiday read that I couldn’t put down. The author took me on a delightful journey in a light-heartened and occasionally serious way which gave me a wonderful insight into Croatian family life, past and present. A rich, descriptive read which encouraged me to get a map out and plan a visit to the region.
October 11, 2023
Loved this book! Such an evocative, personal read but one that really gives you a sense of Croatia. Highly recommend.
October 11, 2023
Beautifully written. An original voice telling a complicated history from a personal perspective.
October 12, 2023
Adored this!
February 15, 2025
Part travelogue, part history of Croatia. It's a great read if you want to get a personal view of the wars in the 20th century. Lots of good material about the area around Plitvice lakes.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews