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Dan the Destructor: Barbarians of the Storm - Book I
There have been countless legends and with that, countless heroes destined to be the “chosen one”. Dan is not that person.
Sucked into an exotic, barbarous world, Dan meets a jovial warrior and finds himself on an adventure he could’ve never imagined - battling monsters, demons, armies, and evil sorcerers.
Dan the Destructor is a mixture of sword & sorcery and post-apocalyptic B-movies presented in a quick paced pulp novel format. It’s fun, badass, fantastical, and action-packed.
Sucked into an exotic, barbarous world, Dan meets a jovial warrior and finds himself on an adventure he could’ve never imagined - battling monsters, demons, armies, and evil sorcerers.
Dan the Destructor is a mixture of sword & sorcery and post-apocalyptic B-movies presented in a quick paced pulp novel format. It’s fun, badass, fantastical, and action-packed.
- GenresSword and Sorcery
166 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 10, 2022
4 people are currently reading
16 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 28, 2023
It’s difficult to explain this book, and previous reviewers have done a much better job than I probably could. This is pretty much a mashup of many fantasy and sci fi elements thrown together like a comedic screenplay. I did laugh out loud a few times, but a lot of the book was not to my liking. There is a bonus story at the end concerning a goblin kingdom, which is actually somewhat better than the main story.
June 30, 2023
HELL YES! This is a fast paced book that is an excellent intro into an exciting world combining elements of Fantasy, Sci-Fi, and 80s action flicks. When it ends you'll be left craving the next book. Need more convincing? This book contains action, adventure, intrigue, high stakes, and a whole lot of badassery!
June 29, 2023
This book is a fish-out-of-water story where our hero shows up from our time and place to a new time and the tone is established when we are introduced to him by his first word of an explicative. So elements of humor will abound here. The good thing with fish-out-of-water stories is that the main character can be a foil for the audience. We learn when he learns and exposition dumps make sense and follow the story; which also helps the reader.
Rimes treads on some sword and sorcery fantasy tropes to move the story and adds some technology to the mix. And when I say the story moves - it moves quick! There aren't histories given of forests or rulers. Fight scenes and conversations take the time to get the message across and no more and then we're moving again. So if your qualm with fantasy is the slow pace then the book doesn't fall into this at all. The fish-out-of-water story can also get lost in the shock and "this isn't real" refusal of the main character to continue. Again, moving the story quickly is the motivator.
Our main character is fine enough, he is just an average Joe. Soft, pudgy American who is working a 9 to 5 office job. The one bit we find out later about him that will help him later in the story is that he was in the military at one time. I would have liked this tidbit to be dropped a little sooner and earlier in the story as when it's revealed it seems more of a handwave explanation that something built into the character. Dan is almost a sidekick to his friend Fenrick. Fenrick is a fun Conan-like hero character who the story "should" be about in a traditional sense. Rimes makes the choice of giving Dan some special help to adapt him to his new world better. One is to give Dan the ability to understand everyone in English by the good ol' classic "a wizard did it" Simpson's explanation. The other help might be an issue for some as it seems a bit too easy.
This other help is almost rendered moot by a revelation and gifts of assistance given by other characters to Dan. And here's where I have my biggest issues with the book. The humorous tone of the book is the author's choice to lean into. I just would have liked it leaned into more! Treading on fantasy motifs and putting a current-day average Joe allows for a lot of comedy, especially with the inclusion of later-revealed technology. And there is some of this, it's just that Dan is given almost too much, and soon the story is over. Of course, this book is a series (what fantasy book is not part of a series these days?) but I like a book, especially the first book, to stand alone well on its own. Dan is critical of the bad guy's plan in that it sounds like a "cheesy bad guy plan". That's great! But the story just kind of brushes over that with that line and continues on. But there are some great, epic-totally-rad-excellent-tubular! moments - and then the story ends in the middle of a quest. Some revelation occurs but there's just an epic high-five "let's do this" scene as the heroes go into the next scene which is the next book.
There is an end story that's a bit confusing as to why it's added. It seems like a disconnected story to the main plot and the tone is changed to a serious fantasy one. It seems like the character shares one quality that Dan also gets but a change in subtlety is not expected from the quick-moving, humorous main story.
Overall, the story is well-written and you can tell the author has a flair for the 80's vibe with the humor and tone of the story. It would have been better to lean into that a bit more. The story moves very quickly so a lot of the fantasy tropes are used for the benefit of the story while not needing the long, drawn out world-building or endless walking scenes. I would maybe pick up the next book in the series but this review is just looking at this standalone book. Final Grade - C+
Rimes treads on some sword and sorcery fantasy tropes to move the story and adds some technology to the mix. And when I say the story moves - it moves quick! There aren't histories given of forests or rulers. Fight scenes and conversations take the time to get the message across and no more and then we're moving again. So if your qualm with fantasy is the slow pace then the book doesn't fall into this at all. The fish-out-of-water story can also get lost in the shock and "this isn't real" refusal of the main character to continue. Again, moving the story quickly is the motivator.
Our main character is fine enough, he is just an average Joe. Soft, pudgy American who is working a 9 to 5 office job. The one bit we find out later about him that will help him later in the story is that he was in the military at one time. I would have liked this tidbit to be dropped a little sooner and earlier in the story as when it's revealed it seems more of a handwave explanation that something built into the character. Dan is almost a sidekick to his friend Fenrick. Fenrick is a fun Conan-like hero character who the story "should" be about in a traditional sense. Rimes makes the choice of giving Dan some special help to adapt him to his new world better. One is to give Dan the ability to understand everyone in English by the good ol' classic "a wizard did it" Simpson's explanation. The other help might be an issue for some as it seems a bit too easy.
This other help is almost rendered moot by a revelation and gifts of assistance given by other characters to Dan. And here's where I have my biggest issues with the book. The humorous tone of the book is the author's choice to lean into. I just would have liked it leaned into more! Treading on fantasy motifs and putting a current-day average Joe allows for a lot of comedy, especially with the inclusion of later-revealed technology. And there is some of this, it's just that Dan is given almost too much, and soon the story is over. Of course, this book is a series (what fantasy book is not part of a series these days?) but I like a book, especially the first book, to stand alone well on its own. Dan is critical of the bad guy's plan in that it sounds like a "cheesy bad guy plan". That's great! But the story just kind of brushes over that with that line and continues on. But there are some great, epic-totally-rad-excellent-tubular! moments - and then the story ends in the middle of a quest. Some revelation occurs but there's just an epic high-five "let's do this" scene as the heroes go into the next scene which is the next book.
There is an end story that's a bit confusing as to why it's added. It seems like a disconnected story to the main plot and the tone is changed to a serious fantasy one. It seems like the character shares one quality that Dan also gets but a change in subtlety is not expected from the quick-moving, humorous main story.
Overall, the story is well-written and you can tell the author has a flair for the 80's vibe with the humor and tone of the story. It would have been better to lean into that a bit more. The story moves very quickly so a lot of the fantasy tropes are used for the benefit of the story while not needing the long, drawn out world-building or endless walking scenes. I would maybe pick up the next book in the series but this review is just looking at this standalone book. Final Grade - C+
July 10, 2023
The Short:
Fun, but flawed. If you can get into the right headspace, this kino adventure will delight.
The Long:
Dan, a slightly doughy man from South Florida is transported to another time and place by the reckless magics of an evil wizard. He meets Fenrik, a jovial barbarian. This all happens on page 1, so I hope you won’t count the last sentence as a spoiler! The tale proceeds at a breakneck pace. One monster or villain is encounter after the other, and worldbuilding and character are revealed between blows. This book is short, and Rob spends no time waffling.
This book is not for everyone. Present tense storytelling reminiscent of a movie script, and Rob’s unique voice, may put off some readers, while others may love it. It took me a while to get into the groove, but if you are a fan of over the top 80’s action movies and sword and sorcery, you may have found a new favorite series.
Reading Dan the Destructor felt, to me, as if I was at a bar and a friend was describing a lost reel from the 1981 Heavy Metal movie. This is not a book you’ll find on the shelves of Barnes & Noble… that could be good or bad depending on your tastes.
2/5 stars for the “normie” fantasy reader. 3/5 stars for a PulpRev or IronAge fan, and if you vibe Rob’s oddball voice then take home 4/5 Loc-nars. Me? I got the rest of Rob’s series in the mail yesterday.
Fun, but flawed. If you can get into the right headspace, this kino adventure will delight.
The Long:
Dan, a slightly doughy man from South Florida is transported to another time and place by the reckless magics of an evil wizard. He meets Fenrik, a jovial barbarian. This all happens on page 1, so I hope you won’t count the last sentence as a spoiler! The tale proceeds at a breakneck pace. One monster or villain is encounter after the other, and worldbuilding and character are revealed between blows. This book is short, and Rob spends no time waffling.
This book is not for everyone. Present tense storytelling reminiscent of a movie script, and Rob’s unique voice, may put off some readers, while others may love it. It took me a while to get into the groove, but if you are a fan of over the top 80’s action movies and sword and sorcery, you may have found a new favorite series.
Reading Dan the Destructor felt, to me, as if I was at a bar and a friend was describing a lost reel from the 1981 Heavy Metal movie. This is not a book you’ll find on the shelves of Barnes & Noble… that could be good or bad depending on your tastes.
2/5 stars for the “normie” fantasy reader. 3/5 stars for a PulpRev or IronAge fan, and if you vibe Rob’s oddball voice then take home 4/5 Loc-nars. Me? I got the rest of Rob’s series in the mail yesterday.
July 9, 2023
A little flawed but a LOT of fun.
It’s a tale as old as the genre itself: a rando from our world falls assbackwards into a post-apocalyptic realm of swords, sorcery, fantasy, and sci-fi. Adventure ensues and it invites you to join the journey.
Fans of longer form epic fantasy might chaff at the present tense and parsed down prose, but Rob gives you enough detail to paint the scene in your head and priorities fun over anything else.
You’re never bored, there’s always something fun, cool, and interesting happening. A few editing flubs and oddly phrased sentences aren’t enough to ruin your time. Pacing is quick, characters are likable, and it feels like anything can and will happen.
And, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, whatever detractions you might take away from this first book are very much fixed in the sequel.
Think about it like the first season of a good tv show like Futurama or Seinfeld, where the writing doesn’t hit its stride until season 2. Don’t miss out on it’s fantastic sequel because something here put you off slightly. It’s worth it.
Highly fun read. Don’t skip the bloody villain origin short story in the back, it’s easily the highlight of the book.
It’s a tale as old as the genre itself: a rando from our world falls assbackwards into a post-apocalyptic realm of swords, sorcery, fantasy, and sci-fi. Adventure ensues and it invites you to join the journey.
Fans of longer form epic fantasy might chaff at the present tense and parsed down prose, but Rob gives you enough detail to paint the scene in your head and priorities fun over anything else.
You’re never bored, there’s always something fun, cool, and interesting happening. A few editing flubs and oddly phrased sentences aren’t enough to ruin your time. Pacing is quick, characters are likable, and it feels like anything can and will happen.
And, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, whatever detractions you might take away from this first book are very much fixed in the sequel.
Think about it like the first season of a good tv show like Futurama or Seinfeld, where the writing doesn’t hit its stride until season 2. Don’t miss out on it’s fantastic sequel because something here put you off slightly. It’s worth it.
Highly fun read. Don’t skip the bloody villain origin short story in the back, it’s easily the highlight of the book.
June 6, 2024
Dan the Destructor is a fast paced portal fantasy adventure with the action cranked to 11 and just the right amount of B-movie humor. Grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and weak descriptions are all problems present, but the author's passion for this type of story shines through and it's hard not to smile while reading.
The short story included at the end of the book (The Forging of Foolpuddle) is bloody, brutal, and fantastic.
The short story included at the end of the book (The Forging of Foolpuddle) is bloody, brutal, and fantastic.
December 31, 2024
Dan the Destructor has the look and feel of a classic pulp novel.
The characters are vibrant and talkative. The action is campy and fun to read.
Be warned, this book is written in present tenses and can sometimes throw the reader who is used to third person past.
Other than that, it's a good book.
The characters are vibrant and talkative. The action is campy and fun to read.
Be warned, this book is written in present tenses and can sometimes throw the reader who is used to third person past.
Other than that, it's a good book.
January 4, 2023
This was a rip-roaring good time from start to finish. Sword & Sorcery, action and adventure with a mix of humor and intrigue in an easy to read format that'll leave you wanting to know what's in store for the next book. Highly recommended!
February 21, 2023
The title makes it sound like a wild ride and that’s exactly what you’re in for. It’s fun, it’s fast and it’s got that pulp-inspired soul to it that you don’t see as often nowadays.
December 10, 2024
Overall fun, action packed story. Some spelling errors and present tense structure keep me from scoring higher, but not a bad start for a series. Would recommend.
August 25, 2023
Yes! Fast-paced, kick-ass, sword-and-sorcery fun. Sure, it has its flaws, but the story kept me completely hooked (I kept conjuring Simon Bisley's art in my head as the world unfolded). There's also a bonus short story at the end that I thought was amazing—Foolpuddle is such a badass character! This awesome short story bumped up my original 4-star rating to a 4.5. I can't wait to read more. Thank you, Mr. Rimes, for penning this yarn.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews