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Who Are You & What Have You Done with My Kid?: Connect with Your Tween While They Are Still Listening
So you have a Tween! What now? Dr. Amanda Craig knows what it’s like to watch your child go from sweet elementary student to moody tween in the span of just a few years and she’s here to help navigate you through it!
How do we keep our kids close while cultivating the confidence they’ll need to grow up? How do we navigate the inevitable dips, divides, and potholes? Where do we find the strength, self-awareness, and wisdom that amount to a path forward?
Despite the parenting opportunities in the tween years, we often spend time focused on academics and the social concerns of elementary school then quickly pivot to worries about safety, drugs, sex and the rebellious behavioral issues of the teen years. We think we’re connecting but we’re not. We miss the neurological explosion that is taking place before us as tweens experience four significant changes that shake them (and us) to their core.
Most importantly, parents still have a “seat at the table” to make positive impressions on their tweens as they prepare them for the teenage years.
How do we keep our kids close while cultivating the confidence they’ll need to grow up? How do we navigate the inevitable dips, divides, and potholes? Where do we find the strength, self-awareness, and wisdom that amount to a path forward?
Despite the parenting opportunities in the tween years, we often spend time focused on academics and the social concerns of elementary school then quickly pivot to worries about safety, drugs, sex and the rebellious behavioral issues of the teen years. We think we’re connecting but we’re not. We miss the neurological explosion that is taking place before us as tweens experience four significant changes that shake them (and us) to their core.
Most importantly, parents still have a “seat at the table” to make positive impressions on their tweens as they prepare them for the teenage years.
- GenresParenting
288 pages, Hardcover
Published September 20, 2022
15 people are currently reading
1599 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 12, 2022
There is a strange land where children live between childhood and adulthood. Being a tween and parenting a tween has its challenges. Who Are You & What Have You Done with My Kid? helps parents connect with their child during this time of life. As children they cling to their parents, but upon reaching their tweens they begin pulling away and seeking independence.
As the book states, parents put emphasis on the dangers of the ‘real’ world their kids will face, the responsibilities they’ll have to handle, the importance of academics, etc. But they often forget about the emotional aspect of growing up.
The book maps out the four changes tweens experience:
• Their brains are changing
• They’re experiencing new emotions
• They’re becoming more self-aware
• They’re learning how to express themselves.
Dr. Craig offers parents with children approaching their tween/teen years good advice to help them connect with and empathize with their child. It’s a win-win for both parent and child.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
As the book states, parents put emphasis on the dangers of the ‘real’ world their kids will face, the responsibilities they’ll have to handle, the importance of academics, etc. But they often forget about the emotional aspect of growing up.
The book maps out the four changes tweens experience:
• Their brains are changing
• They’re experiencing new emotions
• They’re becoming more self-aware
• They’re learning how to express themselves.
Dr. Craig offers parents with children approaching their tween/teen years good advice to help them connect with and empathize with their child. It’s a win-win for both parent and child.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
November 12, 2022
In Who Are You & What Have You Done with My Kid, Amanda Craig explored tools we can use to navigate the many changes that are ahead of us in raising tweens. Tweens are aged 9 to 12 years old. They love social media, TikTok, creating videos, and connecting with the world. She revealed ways in which we can learn to handle the many changes that they are being faced with in this generation. Amanda is a family therapist with over 25 years of experience. In the book, she briefly mentioned that her sister, Valantina was murdered when she was just 18 years old. She admitted to struggling with what they could have done differently to prevent this tragedy. This is part of the reason as to why she chose to study family psychology.
In the book, she explained emotional connection and how critical it is to have that connection with our tween. This included that they will follow the rules, feels a part of the family, makes up after an augment, more apt to resist peer pressure, and much more. When we work on actively building this relationship, we will witness a dramatic change in them and they will act more like an adult which is our main goal. She looked at how our tween need to know that we see them, want to know them, we are there for them, and that we will keep them safe. She also went into great detail about autonomic nervous system and the background of what occur from a scientific standpoint. She explored the neuroscience and how our tweens are changing into adults. She also described how we can enforce boundaries.
I would recommend this life changing book on parenting tweens to anyone who is either in that current season of their life or will be soon. I liked how up to date the information was in the book and how she made it relevant. One of my favorite things was the topic of enforcing boundaries and she enclosed some examples. One of these was letting parents view videos before they are allowed to post to social media. I also liked how she explained the different between punishment and consequences. I believe this was really helpful in reinforcing our value system and providing an opportunity for our tweens to learn from their mistakes and to change. I also enjoyed how she used a lot of table format to get her message across on variety of topics. I think it made it easier to read and understand. I also liked to two-jar jam teaching that she will explain to readers and this has benefited a number of parents.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Hachette Book Group/Faithwords for my honest review.”
In the book, she explained emotional connection and how critical it is to have that connection with our tween. This included that they will follow the rules, feels a part of the family, makes up after an augment, more apt to resist peer pressure, and much more. When we work on actively building this relationship, we will witness a dramatic change in them and they will act more like an adult which is our main goal. She looked at how our tween need to know that we see them, want to know them, we are there for them, and that we will keep them safe. She also went into great detail about autonomic nervous system and the background of what occur from a scientific standpoint. She explored the neuroscience and how our tweens are changing into adults. She also described how we can enforce boundaries.
I would recommend this life changing book on parenting tweens to anyone who is either in that current season of their life or will be soon. I liked how up to date the information was in the book and how she made it relevant. One of my favorite things was the topic of enforcing boundaries and she enclosed some examples. One of these was letting parents view videos before they are allowed to post to social media. I also liked how she explained the different between punishment and consequences. I believe this was really helpful in reinforcing our value system and providing an opportunity for our tweens to learn from their mistakes and to change. I also enjoyed how she used a lot of table format to get her message across on variety of topics. I think it made it easier to read and understand. I also liked to two-jar jam teaching that she will explain to readers and this has benefited a number of parents.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Hachette Book Group/Faithwords for my honest review.”
July 12, 2024
This book feels like a good companiok read for people caring for the elementary/middle school -- for who enjoyed, say, The Whole Brain Child.
It's got some pretty helpful reminders about brain development and relationships and cultivating emotional intelligence.
It also digs into helping parents self reflect on their childhood/teen years, examining our 'soil'. Whew.
The main two annoyances I felt at the book were:
1. The narrator. It was a masculine, leaning-AI voice, very canned and not the quality that I'm used to.
2. The author, a licensed marriage and family therapist, will randomly put in a sentence of her Christian-based encouragement and perspective....then it flips right back to 98% regular, informative therapist writing. 🤔 It's a little confusing tbh, because as far as I can tell, it's not marketed as a Christian parenting book -- at ALL. 🙃😜 I just find it obnoxious because she doesn't phrase it as though it's open to the variety of faith traditions out there, or that people reading may not even practice a faith tradition.
It's got some pretty helpful reminders about brain development and relationships and cultivating emotional intelligence.
It also digs into helping parents self reflect on their childhood/teen years, examining our 'soil'. Whew.
The main two annoyances I felt at the book were:
1. The narrator. It was a masculine, leaning-AI voice, very canned and not the quality that I'm used to.
2. The author, a licensed marriage and family therapist, will randomly put in a sentence of her Christian-based encouragement and perspective....then it flips right back to 98% regular, informative therapist writing. 🤔 It's a little confusing tbh, because as far as I can tell, it's not marketed as a Christian parenting book -- at ALL. 🙃😜 I just find it obnoxious because she doesn't phrase it as though it's open to the variety of faith traditions out there, or that people reading may not even practice a faith tradition.
August 4, 2023
An excellent book for all those who love their Tween and want to understand them better. I highly recommend this book to parents, youth ministers, anyone who works with tweens. The reminder to examine our ‘soil’ is so important and enlightening. I struggled a bit with the last portion distinguishing between ‘rules’ and ‘boundaries’ and hope this might be a next book where she can flesh this out more. But overall, a very important book!
May 6, 2023
This was excellent. The author is a Christian but you don’t have to be a Christian to find her guidance helpful. It was refreshing to read a parenting book that includes both faith principles and brain science. I would recommend this to any parent of a kid ages 8 to 18. It’s definitely worth a second reading.
September 24, 2022
Great read for anyone looking for advice navigating the teen and tween years and feeling lost in the abyss of attitude! Relatable advice and suggestions, great insight and easy to read and understand. Thanks NetGalley for letting me read an early copy!
April 21, 2023
I read a little of this book everyday, sometimes aloud to my 9 year old. What a wonderful book! It really shifted my perspective on how I react to my tween’s behavior. This will most definitely be a re-read as we continue to move through the tween years.
June 24, 2024
I was looking for a Tween-specific parenting book and while I appreciate this one, I do feel a lot of the information has been covered in other parenting books (or if you’ve ever done CBT). I liked the beginning neuroscience-based chapters and learned some stuff there.
This is a fine book, just didn’t wow me; and, it’s not a book I feel I need to hang onto to revisit.
This is a fine book, just didn’t wow me; and, it’s not a book I feel I need to hang onto to revisit.
September 18, 2025
3.5⭐
The religious references were of no use to me, but there were some good ideas to think about.
The religious references were of no use to me, but there were some good ideas to think about.
February 19, 2023
Who Are You & What Have You Done With My Kid by Amanda Craig is a game changer for parents of tweens. Here, the author lays out he importance of getting it right in the tween years since it is foundational for later relationships. Ms Craig gives simple principles that can be applied in any situation. I think every tween parent should read this book. It is life changing. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews