Walking with Aletheia

by Jean Hargadon Wehner

Walking with Aletheia explores how one person experiencing the resurrection of repressed, violent memories of child sexual abuse leaned into her fear, finding the courage to transform her life through self-compassion and the support of others. A survivor of years of sexual abuse by an uncle and members of clergy and other adults at her Catholic high school, Jean was terrorized into silence, including witnessing a murdered nun's body. Jean dissociated from these traumatic experiences until the age of 27, then through journal writing, conversations with the child within, and her spiritual and psychological inner work, she began to recover the memories she had suppressed from her younger self, and to heal.

While Jean's tragic experiences are the groundwork for her book, Walking with Aletheia is more notably about the journey—through time, perseverance, and inherent wisdom—to find one's true Self. Jean's story is one of hope and psychological and spiritual growth. Her path is one of discovering the traumatized children within herself who yearn, as she does, to be reintegrated with her adult self. Jean refers to these parts of her youth as her "personas". The author also shares how she was assisted in her deep meditative periods, which she describes as her "quiet", by the power of imagery. This assistance came from spiritual guides, who arose in her quiet in the forms of humans and animals, to protect her and to guide her in finding the courage and compassion to love herself.

Walking with Aletheia is a story of how one woman—through time, perseverance and inherent wisdom—found the courage to confront her demons, ultimately leading to a place of resilience, hope and walking with "Aletheia" – the Greek goddess of truth. How, in the end, one can see the power and healing effect of the mind by leaning into the truth.

324 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 28, 2022

About the author

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an advocate for sexual abuse survivors, their families and the people who work with them. I hope my book 'Walking with Aletheia: a survivor's memoir' will be of help to anyone who has experienced trauma and their support communities. I was finally free to share my personal healing process after contributing to the Emmy-nominated Netflix documentary series The Keepers, made by Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave. In addition to my writing and advocacy work, I originally trained as a Spiritual Director and am now a Nationally Certified Reflexologist, Certified Life Coach and Reiki Practitioner.

Reviews

[Kim]

I knew of Jean at Archbishop Keough as a sweet, kind, friendly girl, even though she was a year ahead of me. I later got to know Jean and her husband Mike as a young mom, both through church and Hunting Hills Swim Club. I admired what a serene, thoughtful approach she had to motherhood and I tried to emulate her.
I binge watched The Keepers and sobbed the entire time as I learned that two such sweet innocent loving spirits as Jean Hargadon Wehner and Teresa Harris Lancaster were Jane Doe and Jane Roe.
I met Fr. Maskell at Our Lady of Victory parish where he was an associate pastor and then at Keough as Chaplain. I can attest that he was evil incarnate and used his mind games to control the youth with whom he came in contact. I also witnessed the complete lack of concern and lies of the Archdiocese of Baltimore when, as an adult, to support the victims, I tried to corroborate the methods and treachery of Maskell with dates and details of his taking me to his boat as a 13 year old, even though, through proactive training by my parents, I had managed to escape sexual attack. I WAS so frightened by this evil psycho that I did not tell my parents about his filthy language and the things he said to me because I KNEW they would believe me and confront him, putting our whole family in danger. I actually feared then and as an adult that he might kill me or my family.
I truly believe that Jean is a saint among us. She has stared complete evil in the eye, yet she has remained the human vessel of complete love, “agape”. I cannot say how much I admire her journey of self knowledge and her willingness and courage to reunite with her other protective selves. She had opened the door for so many survivors to heal.
Also, I’d like to thank Jean for those who suffer from leaving the church they knew and loved in protest to being abandoned by that church. She gives hope of knowing God in a complete but new way. Jean’s book is a must read for survivors of trauma and also for those who don’t believe such things could ever happen. God bless you Jean!

[Daryl P Goodwin]

When Jean writes about her personas or spirit guides, you must not make the mistake of thinking this cannot be true or that she is mad. I believe everything she has written as it is genuine in tone, truthful and complete in the account including the bad with the good when describing herself and how she contends with what happened to her.

There may be triggers for some in that it deals with child sex abuse, but there are no salacious descriptions or gratuitous details. Indeed it vividly describes how Jean's memories of her abuse that she had suppressed for so long were triggered and the visceral responses she had to this. Her coping mechanisms may not be universal, but the principle of protecting yourself by dissociating from the present and "going out of body" are more widely reported and employed by other victims of child abuse. That Jean has several features of what DSM V calls Dissociative Identity Disorder does not make her mad, but underlines how her mind tried to insulate her psyche from her abuse.

Her story is all the more poignant in that the very organisation that she looked to for comfort and relief, the Roman Catholic church, harboured some of those who abused her. The teacher who did try to help her was found murdered and despite Jean's account, the police still classify this as an unsolved case. This book leaves you in no doubt who is responsible. Jean's encounters with the RC church authorities and the US justice system left me seething with anger. I can only imagine how devastating these experiences were for Jean at the time. We are gifted this survivor's story because she has the courage to go on living. All too many victims of abuse take their own lives and the details and feelings we are privy to here are unshared and unknown.

It is not an easy read, but it is an important one for understanding how to contend with evil and emerge with dignity and grace. I have with-held the full five stars because it is solely concerned with the USA in the resources advocated at the end and the statute of limitations, which several states apply differently in child sex abuse cases.

I received a free advance review copy, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jan Hall]

Shocking sexual abuse and mind control from a Madman

I just saw The Keepers on Netflix and was horrified that Jean (and other girls) were forced to submit their body, mind and soul to the madness of sexually demented priests (one in particular), policemen and others.

The priests were highly authoritative figures and their anger and threats left Jean and the other girls believing that if they told, they would be killed and their families, as well.

Shocking that the Priest got a Gynecologist involved in examinations and one girl was prescribed douches which the Father administered three times a week! That fact was mentioned in The Keepers.

Jean stated in the book that he also gave enemas. Seems that he was very familiar with an enema and douche bag when he felt it was “necessary” to help. He even made Jean have orgasms with him wielding a vibrator. I’m sure he ejaculated as she experienced normal sexual arousal that was unpreventable,

I’m proud that these women try to live a normal existence and rise above the horrid years of abuse. Do I believe it? You bet! My deepest sympathy to those who loved Sister Cathy. God rest her precious soul.

[Anne J]

Hard to digest but a must read

Jean takes us with her on a path of discovery filled with great pain, guilt, anguish and also courage, love and compassion.
What was done to her and countless other children in Maryland and covered up by the cowards at the Baltimore Archdiocese was monsterous. To be in a position of this kind of trust and authority and utterly betray the faith and the parishoners will surely bring eternal damnation onto them all, as it should.
Hopefully, brave folks like Jean will continue to tell their stories and ring the alarm until those with legal authority do their job and bring these evil slime to justice.
Jean has touched my heart and brought me into her world of pain and fear until I was brought to tears. But by the end I find myself smiling and cheering for the girl who survived, the girl who thrived and the girl who discovered her warrior heart and the tiger within.
You will never be the same after reading this book, and that is not a bad thing.
Jean Wehner has a lot to reveal and we have a lot to learn.

[Alice]

heart felt truth

I could totally empathize for Jean in her book. I often wonder why some people must have such horror in their lives. I pray for peace for Jean but I am so thankful she had such a wonderful support system too. I loved mike for all he did for Jean but I know it took a toll on him. I hate he had to leave her but he left her with so many tools to battle with. He was perfect for her. And as you now know,Jean,none of these people ever left you completely they all left you coping skills as a great gift.

[Stacey Adams]

Such a courageous and extraordinary Woman

I have watched the Keepers and my heart broke for Jean, and all those who suffered abuse by the whole network of Pedifiles and their enablers. She is one if the most courageous people I have ever read about. After processing my thoughts and emotions regarding the content of this book, I'm sure I will read it several more times and gain new insights.

[AJ]

after watching the keepers, i found myself thinking about jean every now and again and hoping she was being kind to herself. i always assumed she'd continue to be the type to remain hidden, but i am so glad i stumbled upon her book. though her journey is far from over, i am glad to see she has some light at the end of the tunnel.

[Kathy Seabrease]

Reading Jean's story is riveting. Reading of her walk and realization of everything that happened to lead her on this journey makes my heart go out to her.