cw / tw: suicide, suicidal / dying thoughts, minor character death (heavily discussed), masking / masked depression, self-blame, ptsd, prolonged grief, bullying.
First foremost, before you read this book, please take note on the cw / tw listed, and preferably do read this with stable state of mind. The story touches heavily on the said topics. Please take care.
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"Ini normal kan?"
"Ya, normal, kerana awak hanya seorang manusia biasa."
Yes, this is an arranged marriage story, yet no, it's not the slightest resemble your typical arranged marriage story.
The story begins with Naira and Karl, being forced to know one another for an arranged marriage on a family vacation. Due to Karl's prejudice towards women, he straightforwardly rejected Naira, and Naira doesn't mind it at all. But by the end of the short vacation, something stirred inside of him after knowing Naira a bit better. What she did changed him, and he accepted the marriage, but to his surprised Naira rejected him instead, but couldn't have a say om the decision. Eventually, both of them agreed on the marriage due to their own personal reasonings, which they both thought the marriage could fix their life a little bit better, they could finally get happier. It did get better for them, but over time, when the same 'reasonings' they kept to their own selves started to unfold, one by one things started to crumble between them. Apparently, both of them suffered terribly from the past, one from a 'broken heart', and the other from a 'great grief', but how exactly can they fix the marriage if they couldn't 'fix' the things they keep holding them back in life itself?
You may think, oh, this did sounds like a typical arranged marriage story, but again, it's not. The story does typically highlight their marriage life, but the bigger part of it mainly centered on the issues surrounding both Naira and Karl's background and past, and it's heavier than one may thought.
It is a drama, romance, and a familial conflict story which touches on various instances of moving forward from 'kelukaan', grief, and them, trying to be 'normal'.
Both of the main characters face such hurdles in their life, and the reasoning for their agreement on the marriage isn't as simple as any other stories I've ever read. Their struggles and their journey on overcoming their past conflicts really makes me fully wanted to root for both of them from the start to end.
Although the theme of the story is absolutely heavy and touches on a number of various different conflicts, SO MANY that I personally wouldn't spoil anything in regard to the plot line at all — fret not, despite that, it's an absolute page turner at it's best, and it is written in such a great order.
• Regarding the characters themselves, first we have Naira, what seemingly an extremely reserved type of person, but overtime, we will learn that what she actually hid is more than that. Her as a character taught me a lot as she's a realist, and her way of thinking is something that makes me think a lot on various things throughout the story. She on the surface seems selfless or even sometimes 'weak', putting others at front before herself, but no one exactly knows how strong she really is. She's an absolutely complex character, but if we really do indulge into her character, I couldn't help but to think how admirable she is.
Then we have Karl, he's quite a jerk earlier on, and sometimes does too post marriage, but he really does have such a great character development, where despite getting himself into a marriage without love, I could see how genuine he is and how he put his 100% on the marriage, and how he treated Naira was simply great. The way although their argument seems a bit frustrating from time to time, it's nice that they actually spoke and face their issues at hand. When looking at the MCs as a pair, i couldn't help but to think that — communication is the key, but the honesty in your heart is just as important.
On the other hand, as for the side characters, not even exaggerating, but the were written so fantastically. From Haura's issues, to how the author portrays how each human being would act differently on a situation (this is in terms of Naira's family and their grief), the familial relationship, as well as the bond between Karl's friend, they moved me deeply.
• In terms of the heavy theme on mental health, the author approached the issues quite wonderfully and in a realistical way. One of them is on masking, where it's seen a lot done the FL herself and how she tried to break free from it. And this is also done / faced alot by the FL's own family members, and how the masking itself although it could protect oneself, it could also cause catastrophe onto others and on our everyday life. And the other 'issue' that's been discussed a lot is the grief of death, and again this could be seen on Naira as well as her family members. Throughout this story, we could thoroughly dive into the differences on how every each one of us individually grief, and good and bad of it. I genuinely appreciate how the author wrote regarding each one of it, expanding on the said issues, and how well they were handled without being left hanging around. It's real. And really, thank you for this Ieya Sya.
• Although half of the book touched a lot on the side / background stories just much as the main story (as in the story between the ML and FL), it's such a balance writing and as crucial as the main plot. On the other hand, really do appreciate how the interactions with Karl's ex weren't shown as much or were highlighted more as the main issue between the ML / FL (as they got other issues, you know, that's how life is), or else it would've annoyed me, but at the same time it's nice that the same 'issue' were discussed directly between the MCs.
• Okay, about the arranged marriage plot, I like that they weren't forced into one another and were given their own choice in the say. And it's nice that they're paired in that situation just for the reason that their parents wanted them to 'try', mun suka, suka, mun nisik, nisik lah. And it's not one of those 'oh our parents terhutang budi with one another, haha guess we're stuck!' or even those 'kenen kenen joke'. So, if you're like me, you probably would like the story.
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• To be frank, the story did seem a bit '???' in the earlier chapters, a lot of things are quite confusing in terms of the characters' personality, as well as what exactly the story is trying to tell us. But the progressions along the plot were so well done and things were well explained whether sooner or later. Trust the process my friend, trust it!
• I'm actually not really a fan of non-organic meet up - vacation between two characters, and how they don't even know about one another but were pushed into the situation for the 'perjodohan' reasoning. Maybe i have that ikhtilat issue and how they'll see one another day / night and i thought it's too convenient. But somehow the author makes this work and interesting — where I find the events and interactions penuh perisian and quite important? Haha, guess I don't really mind at the end.
• Some things that quite a bit of a bother for me as a reader is the extremely lengthy ongoing dialogues between characters, this as in the 'essay dialogue'? The message and the emotions in them is well done, but the way it was on-going-ly written is a bit distracting, at least for myself.
• This might be controversial, but honestly, I'm not a fan of the 'closure' on Haura's part of the story. Not that I don't want a closure and the truth regarding her feelings towards her family, it's just that I don't the plot twist of it. Idk, a part of me wished the narrative stayed the same for the very least, as 'that' carried the story from the very beginning.
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Nevertheless, I highly recommend this book. Again, though it discussed on heavy-heavy topics, it's such a healing book all at the same time due to how the topics were touched, and how they're handled. You'll start it with sadness, but it ends with a great comfort.
Much hugs to you.
p/s: is there any story about Airuz and Elni?