Welcome to the Grief Club: Because You Don't Have to Go Through It Alone

by Janine Kwoh

Welcome to the club that no one ever wants to join but so many of us end up needing. We’re so sorry that you’re here. Based on her own experience with grief—the author’s partner died when both were in their late twenties—and those of other Grief Club members, Janine Kwoh uses brief writings, illustrations, and creative diagrams to explore the wide range of emotions and experiences that grief can encompass. For anyone who has lost a loved one or who is close to someone who is grieving, Welcome to the Grief Club is a book of solace, connection, hope, and reassurance. It addresses with empathy and honesty the aspects of grief that so many of us experience but that aren’t widely the variety and volatility of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, joy; the physical symptoms of grief; and how grief isn’t linear, but it does change and soften over time. It affirms that there is truly no right or wrong way to grieve and assures us that the things we feel that surprise us or seem strange are often common and always valid. Humor helps us to survive, and the book uses a lighthearted approach to cover powerful topics, like supremely unhelpful things that people say to those who are grieving, grief trigger bingo, and everyday acts of resilience. This book is a companion that says, I see you and you are not alone, from one grieving person to another. It is a gentle reminder to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as—and in whichever ways—you need.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Graphic Novels, Health, Psychology

117 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 1, 2022

Reviews

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely need this book. I really needed this book. For years. And just thinking about how this guidebook comforts me is beyond words. And I just cried thinking about it. There's absolute no way on how to grief and what to do about it but this book is just the perfect companion for such difficult times.

This guidebook has all the basic responses and thoughts we feel as well as what we can say at these moments. The book gives the different possible scenarios and what we can do about them.

The guidebook isn't any way trying to make anyone do anything or say anything just like that but somehow guides us on what to say or do in awkward and weird situations.
I really appreciate the inclusion of basic colourful illustrations and basic dialogues to illustrate these scenarios.

I definitely need the hardcover.

Thank you, Workman Publishing Company, for the advance reading copy.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Welcome to the Grief Club: Because You Don't Have to Go Through It Alone is a helpful and sensitive guide for those who are experiencing grief in any of its many forms. Author Janine Kwoh's background in the greeting card industry is evident in the beautiful illustrations and many well-encapsulated thoughts and reflections contained in the book. Kwoh combines a deceptively light touch with a deeper message very skilfully and successfully indeed.

My own major experience of grief was the loss of my mother to breast cancer 18 years ago, at the age of 56. I certainly found that many of the observations and prompts within Welcome to the Grief Club resonated for me, and wish I'd had access to such a resource at the time. However, I've also considered the book's message from the perspectives of several friends who are presently going through different grief journeys - the loss of a spouse, the loss of an infant / miscarriage and the loss of a sibling in young middle-age.

"I imagine all of us walking around in our own personal parallel universes with our unseen broken places, wondering if we're the only ones. I think it's worth opening up our worlds and wounds to one another - I suspect that they are more similar than we think." (loc.60)

The overall message is reassuring and hopeful, that grief can be experienced in all sorts of different ways, each of them valid, and that there is no universal pattern by which grief should be timed or measured.

"You don't need to justify your grief to anyone, or hide or act out certain emotions in order to match expectations. This is a complicated situation - give yourself permission to have complicated feelings." (p.56)

Kwoh's message is also delivered in an accessible style for those going through trauma - it's not weighed down with technical information, and is punctuated with visual representations breaking up the text. At 128 pages, it's also of a size that is manageable for hopping in and out of, backwards and forwards, as need dictates.

While there is no universal pattern that grief takes, the sad truth is that we will all experience the loss of a loved one at some point during our lives - we will all one day become members of what Janine Kwoh refers to as the "Grief Club". Whether currently undergoing our own experience of grief, or whether attempting to support someone else in their own grief journey, Welcome to the Grief Club provides a genuinely practical and meaningful guide. It's a book I'll definitely consider purchasing as a gift for any friend in the future who's struggling with the loss of a loved one. It would also be a great resource for school and public libraries, and any workplace which frequently deals with bereaved clients.

My thanks to the author, Janine Kwoh, publisher Workman Publishing Company and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this wonderful book.

[xuntung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for this free arc <33
didn’t enjoy this as much as I thought,the only reason why I finished it in 2 days was because I had a quota to meet…. By the end of this month and I’m just challenging myself to read more.but it was kinda nice and the drawings were cute <33
like towards the end,I was just trying to skip the words and view the illustrations and then I actually shared some of the very interesting and important views with my friends because hey!! It may actually turn out to be useful (unfortunately)
as the title goes,the book shares about many important and super useful tips with grieving so if you’re in that process,it’s definitely super handy!!you’ll get over this for sure,it just takes time,I believe in you 💗💗don’t give up,stay positive!!(ok bye hehe)
Urm…fortunately I haven’t gone through the process of grieving for quite some time so yes i really didn’t have the motivation to read the words after a while.picked the book up because the cover’s so cute !! And the title is kinda interesting <33 (still stand by my opinion)
didn’t regret it anyway,I think it has some really useful advice and it’s a very nice guide for those who feel lost along the way.if it’s too wordy,(yes too wordy for me,I’m not the biggest fan of nonfiction)you could just skip it and view the illustrations because I think they’re equally as important as the words :))

[superawesomekt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really lucky to have four siblings and my mother grieving alongside me after my dad's passing. While we all have our own unique cocktail of grief reactions, many of ours are similar and we can discuss and relate together.

Shortly after my dad died I called one of my friends who is not on social media. This friend knew my father and I wanted to tell her about his passing. After we talked for about an hour, she timidly told me she had lost her own father a year before. I think she was worried that I would be offended that she hadn't told me. This book captures well how I could have the instinct to call my friend to tell her and she could have the instinct to not talk about her own loss. Both reactions are normal. This book really helps normalize a huge range of grief reactions.

I do think this book would be especially helpful for those who don't have others grieving with them. It would make a great gift for a friend who has experienced loss—recent or not-so-recent.

(The book's layout is a mix of graphics and text—it is quite lite and digestible. There is some strong profanity in one section.)

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Welcome to the Grief Club is a book for those grieving the loss of someone. Sadly enough, I have suffered some losses already, and this book really felt like a big hug.
In the book, it is clearly stated that "the grief club" is here if and when you need them. Welcome to the Grief Club would definitely also be an interesting book if you were fortunate enough to not have suffered such a loss yet. Its approach to grief is so good and understandable.
I have read quite some books about grief already, but I really think this is the "best" one I have read up until now. Kwoh has a way of writing in which you feel understood. I think this is important when you have suffered a loss.

Thank you Janine Kwoh for writing this book. I'm sure it'll help a lot of people feel less alone.

[Kathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to bookmark every page, this was just so wonderful. It really validates your feelings, no matter what you are going through, with humor, acceptance, love, and support. There were so many sayings and scenarios I saw myself in and it was so comforting to see that I wasn't alone.

[Krysta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful ❤️

[ftnrsnn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Welcome to the Grief Club is not a how-to book. It's not a list of things to do or ways to live your life. The book doesn't tell you why you're grieving, what you should be feeling, or when it's time to "move on." It provides no specific instructions on how to get through the next day or the next year. Instead, it helps readers understand that there's no single way to grieve and that everyone's experience is unique. It shows readers that there is a lot of diversity in how people grieve, and that this is something worth celebrating.

Here, the author addresses with empathy and honesty aspects of grief that people often try to hide from others because they don’t quite fit into society’s idea of how people should behave after losing someone. She assures the readers that the things we feel that surprise us or seem strange are often common, shared by others, and valid. Her book breaks the mold of what grief is and how it should be dealt with.

The book uses brief writings, illustrations, and creative diagrams and more to succinctly cover many complex issues related to grief in a way that feels accessible and easy to understand. The whole presentation of this book is conversational, warm, and inclusive. It repeatedly reminds us that we are not alone in our experiences of loss. This can be an especially powerful comfort for those who are grieving a loss, but also a compassionate guide for those who want to better understand how those around them are coping with loss. It will help you recognize what your loved one may be going through and understand why they might be doing what they're doing and how you can support them.

In short, this book is a companion that says, I see you, and you are not alone. It’s a gentle reminder to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as—and in whichever ways—you need. Highly recommended!

Thank you Times Reads for sending me a review copy of this book in return for an honest review. This book is available in all good bookstores Malaysia and Singapore.

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[Soula Kosti · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Welcome to the Grief Club - we're sorry that you're here"

In this little but meaningful book by Janine Kwoh, grief is presented as "one of the most isolating experiences, despite it being one of the most common" and it aims to help the reader find a companion to feel less alone in their experience (if they want to).

What I liked:

- This book doesn't aim to help the reader overcome their grief, but since we will always carry our grief with us, this book helps to reach the point where the effects of the loss will have soften over time
- Diverse and inclusive
- Loved the little comics throughout the book; they were relatable, entertaining, and they helped a lot to make the subject lighter (the one about the types of grief monsters was probably my favorite)
- Loved this statement: "Not all grief is the same but all grief is valid"
- The graphs throughout were creative and intriguing. My favorite was the "Ripple effect of loss" that shows that with the loss of a person we also experience secondary losses such as the loss of security, relationships, and self (and all or some of the multiple subcategories that fall under those three).

“We grieve because we have loved. Your love for them doesn't disappear because they died, but you have to learn to carry that love differently now —
in your memories and conversations, and through rituals or however you choose to honor them. It shapes the life you make for yourself, and how you
love others. The persistence of grief is evidence of the love that still exists. How hard and painful and lucky it is that we have experienced love that lasts for a lifetime.”

[Fadzli Jambari · Rating 5 out of 5]

“ I often talk about grief as one of the most isolating experiences, despite it being one of the most common.”

A simple, short but strangely validating book to read. I lost my dad three years ago and I wish I had a book of this sort to validate what I was feeling at that time. I was such a lost 19 year old and had no idea how to handle my emotions. I really resonated with a lot of what was mentioned in this book even 3 years later after my dad’s death.

The illustrations in this book are super cute and help to make this heavy topic a little lighter.

“Please keep in mind that this is the Grief Club, NOT the Grief Olympics - any comparison of grief is strictly prohibited.”

This book is useful for those who are still new to grief or if you want to support someone who is grieving. Sending love to everyone else going through the grieving process as well. ❤️❤️

[Karen Foster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to #Netgalley for an Advance Reader copy of this book.
I wanted to read this not for personal reasons but also to help me as a bookseller, as I often get asked for books to buy a friend/relative/coworker etc who is going through grief. And this was exactly what I was looking for. It’s really quite lovely, and will definitely be something I order for my store as it would make a thoughtful gift. It also has great advice on the what to do/say and what not to do/say to those grieving, how to be a good friend, support and be there for others.

[Jeanene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This hits all the points I've felt over the past few years of grief. I would add that not all grief comes from physical death - there is loss from relationships and how you saw things going in your life. There are many pages and points in this book that helped/reached me more because of the "other" loss than the loss from death I've experienced. All heartbreaking, all devastating, all relevant. I will be referencing this book often.

[Nikki Hayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short but great book for anyone going through it. Welcome to Grief Club. ❤️

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt compelled to read this book for a number of reasons. Mostly, I was hoping to feel less alone in my grief. Despite the inviting and warm cover design, I have to admit that I was intimidated to open this book for a while, unsure of where it would take me in my mind. I was pleasantly surprised by how comforting I found Welcome to the Grief Club.

I've heard many times that we must allow ourselves to feel the pain and allow the grieving process to happen in order to move on, but through reading this book I've come to understand that rather than moving on and getting over it, we instead carry our grief with us, and as Janine states, it softens over time.

Even though my grandfather's death still affects me so strongly, I no longer cry every day. And even though I still think about the friends I've lost, I no longer blame myself for not reaching out enough when they were alive. I'm still grieving, and I still feel the void where they should be, but I agree with Kwoh that my grief has softened as time has passed.

I also really appreciated that the book touches how grief affects the body both mentally and physically, and also self-care for when you're grieving. I found it helpful to read about the ways that others can help you deal with your grief, whether that's helping with your housework, dropping off dinners, or just plain companionship. As a natural caretaker myself, knowing these things will help me take better care of others who are grieving.

Janine has a unique way of writing that made me both cry and laugh out loud at times. For such a heavy topic, there's also a lightness to this book. Kwoh made me feel less alone in my grief, and made me understand that there is no one way to feel it, no special roadmap to follow in order to do it right.

Overall, I adored the original illustrations and how this book was laid out. I like that the book can be read cover to cover or that the reader can choose to jump into whichever section they feel they could benefit from. Janine's prose felt like a pair of open arms inviting me in for a warm embrace, exactly what I needed when I was reading.

Although the book doesn't cover all forms of grief, there's a list of suggested supports and contact information to help with topics Kwoh doesn't touch on.

If you or someone in your life is grieving, this is book is a wonderful resource.

Avocado Diaries

[Alison Chorney-Dubien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having lost someone very close to me this past year due to a traumatic death, I was looking forward to reading this book to try and grasp concepts and feelings around grief. I loved how the author put thoughts to paper in a way that normalized all of the feelings and thoughts that a grieving person experiences. The author was able to send the message that it is OK to not be OK and it is OK to feel what you’re feeling. She further explored the idea that there truly is no set framework or guideline to grief. I feel that these messages are vital as society tends to want to put everything in a neat tidy box but the author pushes those boundaries by suggesting that each grief story is unique to the griever. I so appreciated this book and can’t wait for it to come out so that I can purchase copies to have for family and friends in their time of need. The comfort it will afford a grieving person is something to be grateful for. I wish this was a resource available to me last March when I went through the loss of my brother to Covid but I am grateful for the chance to review it now with a little more perspective. An invaluable resource!

[Stacia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't think the only valid grief is the grief you feel from losing a loved one, which is what this book seems to say. I found it offputting when in a flow chart it says: Did someone you care about die? No, then you aren't in the grief club yet. A more apt name for this book would be Welcome to the Death Grief Club or something. It contradicts itself when it says in the Grief club membership rules: Club membership is open to anyone who has experienced a "significant loss" which it notes that it is "defined by each individual member and no external verification of membership eligibility is necessary." I dunno. Grieving a lost person is a very specific grief, but it needs to be noted in the book that grief over a death isn't the only kind of grief.

[Tracey Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Welcome to the Grief Club by Janine Kwoh

After loosing my mother to cancer six years ago, I struggled with my grief and tried to find books to help.
I recommend Welcome to the Grief Club to anyone, even young adults and children.
It is very easy to understand, where you are in your grief (everyone is different), and how to help other's and how to be supportive. It also validates you for your own grief, whatever you are felling.

Thank you to the author Janine Kwoh for writing this amazing book as well as the publishers at Workman Publishing Co, Inc.

Thank you to NetGalley for my copy and the opportunity to read this book.

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was okay? It didn't say anything I hadn't read in other places. The drawings were cute and effective. Be forewarned: you only get to be in this club if your loved one dies. Kwoh is very clear that if you are grieving someone still alive, this is not your book. I only wish I hadn't spent the money.

[Valarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It is simple and so true and heartfelt. I wish this could be part of a series on different types of grief and loss, such as the death of a pet or dissolution of a relationship. I just love the layout. I read it in one sitting. I wish I’d had this book 2 years ago. I have a feeling I’ll be gifting many copies over the years.

[Lady Alexandrine · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a very comforting book with beautiful pictures that made me smile. If you are hurting it offers relief, understanding and most importantly the feeling of being a part of a community. It makes you feel less alone. If you have lost a loved one this is a book for you. I hope it helps.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

so good for grief brain

The short length, the beautiful simplicity, the completely relatable illustrations- this book is exactly what I needed right now. It’s so beautiful to see it written so matter of fact and even with a bit of humor.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This is a really great book with phenomenal diagrams/charts on how to navigate the murky waters of grief. I appreciated the author's gracious approach and often giving permission to grievers to grieve in multi-faceted ways. You will not find any attempts for simplistic or reductionistic answers or pithy platitudes here, but very thoughtful and nuanced thoughts to safely park whatever grief one is carrying without judgment. This is not a Christian book, but Christians would do well to read it, as we too grieve, but with hope.

[Lori Gallagher · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only grief book I read that has helped. Thank you for writing it.

[G · Rating 4 out of 5]

no one died, just going thru it rn 🫠 really sweet book tho

[Tea · Rating 4 out of 5]

My therapist handed this book to me at the end of a session. I went to a brewery afterwards and read it in one sitting crying over a fried chicken sandwich and fries. 👍

[Danica Midlil · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was actually very helpful.

[Kelsey Ghantous · Rating 5 out of 5]

stumbled upon this book in a cute little shop. there was only one copy and i thought i’d give it a try. it was so incredibly helpful and full of things i wish i knew. would recommend to anyone experiencing loss.

[Brittany Di Beasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know that I will find myself coming back to this book over and over again. Bringing humor and lightheartedness to the heavy weight of grieving, the author explores some core experiences of joining the “grief club.” It made me feel less alone and more understood.

[Chelsie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I purchased this book to read because I wanted to find a book about grief that can be read and understood by anyone of any reading level, maturity, and experience with grief or loss. I have pretty high expectations for books so needed to read it through myself before I could consider recommending or gifting it to friends and family. It took me a little more time to finish than I expected because I had to take a break halfway through. I kept getting reminded of all the things I went through about 10 months ago when my Dad passed away. It was hard because I re-hashed and remembered a lot of the questions and phases I went through at that time.

After finishing this book, I can confidently say I would recommend it as a gift for anyone who has experienced a loss. Especially those who may have experienced the loss of someone very close to them or if they're experiencing their first loss and aren't sure how to cope with how they're feeling. It really helps to know that the things you're feeling, thinking and experiencing are not unique -- you're not crazy. This shit is just really, fucking hard.

Kwoh pretty much covers all of the possible things I could have thought to say about grief, loss, and the "after" of losing someone. She goes about it in a sometimes humorous, loving, empathetic, accepting and bittersweet way that only someone who's intimately lived through it can do. From one club member to another, I'm really sorry that you need this book and I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad the author wrote this book for all of us navigating our grief.

Welcome to the Grief Club, we're sorry you're here.

[jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just realized it took me exactly two months to finish this book, and I started reading it almost exactly two months after my dad died suddenly. I think I’ve read a lot of self-help books and online resources that lay out a path for exactly what you should do to become happy or whole again, but recently, I’ve found quite a few books that just feel like a warm hug. This book validates your grief experience no matter what it is; whatever you feel it’s okay and your experience is your experience. I really needed that. Navigating work and home life in the weeks after my dad died felt impossible. How can I go back to normal when reality has changed this much? I noticed this book shortly after my dad died, but it took me weeks to eventually start reading it because devoting the time to thinking about his death and my grief was just really hard. Allowing myself to be in that headspace to face his death means allowing myself to feel so depressed that I can’t move. This book helped me out of the headspace that thinking about my dad’s death had it to traumatic. It just helped me be at more peace with reality. Grief is not something that has a solution and then you’re done with it. It ebbs and flows and this book helped me with that realization.