Throwing It All Away: A Son's Suicide and a Mother's Search for Hope

by Nina Owen, Sam Owen

This book is a narrative nonfiction memoir detailing a young man's depression, drug use, eventual suicide, and the grief and guilt experienced by his mother.Sam was a very bright and ambitious young man. He was always calm and thoughtful, and considerate of all others. The Manuscript consists of three I. Losing The first chapter of the book tells the story of the day that Sam went missing and the search for him. This part then transitions to walking the reader through the early years of Sam’s life. We then pick back up on the day we discovered Sam had died, the aftermath, and the impossible goodbye.Part II. Sam’s The second part of the book shows how a family struggles with mental illness. The complexity of getting care is examined. This part of the narrative includes some chapters written by Sam. His writing was discovered after his death in various forms—legal pads, Google Drive, One Note, and other Word documents on his computer.Part III. Searching for The third part of the book deals with an exploration of the afterlife, from a metaphysical standpoint. This progression of spirituality came about largely due to signs and visitations of the Afterlife, engineered by Sam for his mom The stories related in this portion will leave the reader with hope, rather than despair.

Genres: Nonfiction

Kindle Edition

Published December 31, 2021

About the author

Nina Owen has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism from the University of Memphis. This is Nina’s first book. Although writing was her first love, for practicality’s sake, her career has been in the hotel industry where among many other operational and sales tasks, she has been utilized as a content writer. Nina lives in metro Atlanta with her husband, two wonderful daughters, a Great Pyrenees, Sadie, and the family cat, Goose. When not writing, she enjoys playing tennis, hiking, and reading.

Reviews

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a raw emotional look about how suicide affects those who are left behind. Sam was 20 years old when he ended his life. This book was written by his mother and it's a heart wrenching look at Sam as he was growing up as an almost perfect kid and how when he started suffering with depression in his teens, his parents worked hard to help him get better through doctors, hospitalizations and understanding. It's also a look at the author's initial shock and depression after his suicide as well as how she coped with it by reading all of his papers and journals, talking to his friends, seeing spiritualists and finally writing this book to put her feelings into words and hope that her words will help others who have lost people they love to suicide.

Suicides by young people are increasing dramatically and this book will speak to anyone with a person in their life who are threatening suicide as well as those who have lost someone they love to suicide. It was a difficult book to read because it was so sad and emotional and I applaud Nina Owen for having the strength to write it.

Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.

[Janice Lombardo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt, in depth, look by a mother. Nina, raw with emotion over her son's suicide is expertly written. Sam was 20 years old, and a a MENSA member. Yet, he had difficulty channeling his emotions and intellect. His existential views on life were well beyond that of any 20 year old. Pieces of Sam's writings were very deep. He questioned the normality of this world...

Sam struggled with rules, emotions and, in essence, reality. A part of this was due to his sobriety - mainly tainted by hallucigens. He found "clarity" with the illusion that can accompany drug usage. Sam defied authority because he was unable to reign in his intellect.

An extremely emotional story with a very intense background of Sam and his struggles. Yet, this book keeps moving at a perfect pace. A compelling read!

HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

Many Thanks to Southern Fried Karma for having me read and review this great story.

[Jane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you to Southern Fried Karma for this book.

I knew what to expect when I started reading this book. Sadness, grief, love and suicide. Sam was a 20 year old boy who had his problems but was very smart and was in college. The title was sure apt.

I didn't get too far in the book but skimmed through it and saw his writings, journals, etc. I'm sure he would have gone far in life if he didn't take his life at age 20 in 2016.

Thank you to the author for sharing his story.

[AJ Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to write this review as soon as possible, but I didn't think that would be too fair; I felt that I needed to think this one over for a few days at least. This book was heartbreakingly beautiful. Not only did it give insight into how suicide can change a family, but it was actually very educational - to me.

The book focuses on the feelings of both Nina and Sam, and even Sam's father and sisters occasionally. To get into Sam's feelings, Nina included various documents and writings from his journal and phone. When talking about how his passing impacted the family as a whole, she included writings from her own journal as well as from her daughters' journals. There were also short notes from close family and friends in one chapter. I thought this was an amazing idea, as it truly captured who Sam was, especially to everyone around him.

From the beginning, Nina says that she hopes the book can help the reader if they themselves are suicidal or grieving the loss of a loved one. For me personally, in a way, it did. Reading about how Sam's passing impacted everyone around him made me rethink everything I've thought. As for the grieving, seeing how Nina found hope and comfort renewed my hope of accepting my mom's passing. Despite my previous skepticism of mediums, just as Nina had, her experiences with them gave me hope that one day I'll be able to see and talk to her again.

I truly applaud Nina for the strength I'm sure it took to write this book. I'm so glad she found a way to still talk to and occasionally visit with her son. I'm not sure that she'll ever see my review, but if she does, I'd like to say thank you.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book via Southern Fried Karma. This did not influence my opinion in any way.

[Sharon Friedman · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only thing worse than losing a child, is losing a child to suicide. In her heart-wrenching memoir, Throwing It All Away: A Son’s Suicide and a Mother’s Search for Hope, Nina Owen chronicles her son Sam’s battles with the depression and drug use that ultimately led the brilliant 20-year-old to take his own life in 2016.

In haunting detail, Owen recounts the grief that engulfed her, her husband, and two daughters following Sam’s death. Filled with self-recrimination over missed signs, it is only after she discovered Sam’s private writings a year after his death that she learned of his despair over his friendships, his looks, the pressures of college, his failed relationships with women, and of his unfailing love for his family.

Inspired by Sam’s writings and journals, Throwing It All Away offers a candid look at how Sam’s mental illness affected the whole family. Owen’s hope in writing this touching book is that it will speak to anyone who is suicidal, and help those who have lost a child or family member to suicide know they are not alone.

[J.E. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nina Owen has written an honest, gut-wrenching account of the suicide of her son Sam in 2016. Beginning with the day of his death, she chronicles his life, moving chapter by chapter from the circumstances of his death to the episodes and incidents that formed his character.

Owen does not shy away from her own feelings of guilt and regret, disclosing her personal struggles with depression growing up and the things she wished she had done differently during the final months of Sam's life. The final chapters recount her spiritual journey, unique to her but one which has provided, if not true peace, a deeper understanding of where Sam has gone and how he still influences his family. She details events which indicate his continued presence in her life, acknowledging that her story may lose some readers but convinced that, by sharing her hourney, she may help others who must confront the loss of a loved one through suicide.

[Carla Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having been though the horror of losing someone to suicide, I very much appreciated the raw emotions shared by both the victim of suicide and the mother left behind. This is not a story that ends in sadness, rather, it delivers the hope that all survivors are desperately seeking. This is a must read for those who are asking the questions Why? and What now? Nina's journey through this traumatic time offers unique insight and is a shining beacon of light in the dark aftermath of suicide. Not everyone will understand completely the power found within this book, but those who need it will find it incredibly enlightening.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Nina Owen’s THROWING IT ALL AWAY in two sittings. Nina is an intelligent writer revealing her son’s life and loss with honest and beautiful words. The bravery and pain it must have taken to create such a raw, emotional, and beautiful book is not lost on the reader. Sam may have left our world, but through his mother’s love and words his story remains alive and will be a helpful tool of hope for anyone who has gone through a loved one touched by addiction, mental health struggles, or suicide. THROWING IT ALL AWAY was so hard to put down and will ultimately be an important resource for these devastating topics for years to come.

[That Bookworm Boy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I even begin with this book. I had to take multiple breaks because it made me so emotional. Throughout the story, readers get a look at how depression and suicide truly effect families. We follow Nina Owen in her foot steps as a way to experience what she felt before and after Sam’s suicide. Even though I did cry (multiple times), I think it was an important book to read and understand. I recommend this to anyone who has gone through the same experience or wants insight so they can be prepared in the future. This book really opens up the topic of mental health which should be discussed more. I applaud Nina for being so bold and vulnerable about this sensitive topic!

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a poignant memoir of a mother, her love for her son, and mental health struggles in teens and young adults. I read this over the course of 12 hours, could not put it down! Nina Owens is a gifted author and put words to something so personal and heartbreaking, and managed to encourage others in the process. Her words paint the picture of her family's tragic loss in order to help save a life. If you parent a teen or young adult, or know and love someone in that age range, this is required reading.

[Erica Marino · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely read books that are so raw and honest. Nina shares the tragic story of her son’s depression, drug use and suicide, all while revealing her own struggles and those of her immediate family members. Nina wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable and takes the reader to those dark places that no one ever wants to speak of. She includes journal entries from her son, as well as from herself and others. In addition, she shares her spiritual journey to find some peace, comfort and hope. This story, while tragic and heartbreaking, needs to be heard as we all know someone who is struggling!

[Elizabeth Mullahy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Throwing It All Away", by Nina Owen, is a heartfelt story about the heart ache of losing a son to depression. Nina unveils and bears her love, heart and soul, describing the journey of desperately trying to save her son, Sam, a truly brilliant young man. Passionately and extraordinarily well written, Nina takes the reader to the depths of her despair and grief, to the revelation of hope through Sam's remerging presence, offering comfort and hope. A must read, "Throwing It All Away", will undoubtedly impact the lives of families struggling with the loss of a child.

[Sherry Unwala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nina Owen has written about her son Sam's life with honesty and bared her soul. She wants us to understand the turmoil of a gifted son with highs and lows.
Her family was blindsided by Sam's ultimate decision.
In the midst of chaos and grief, Nina has shared her family's journey.
It is gut wrenching ! This tragedy can tear a family apart, but with her faith and hope, she has turned it around.
Her story resonates with every parent who have lost a child to suicide.
She is an inspiration !

[Stephen C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that I couldn’t put down. It is beautifully written and I kept wanting to read more. It is written from a mother’s point of you who lived through a horrible tragedy of losing her son to depression. Depression is on the rise and many people try to be quiet about it, but Nina Owen was brave to share her story. The book is authentic and real. I hope that many people will find comfort and hope in this book.

[Jacqueline Alvarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not put it down once I got it. It was such a real, truthful, sad, and emotional story. I went through so many emotions and revelations as I read this. The biggest of all was so much love. Very devasting thing to lose a child, and there were times in the book that could feel the pain through the authors writing. What a way to find the strength to and by writing this book a beautiful tribute to Sam. Loved it and grateful for the story

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poignant journey of one family's experience with something no family thinks will happen to them. The author talks candidly about her and her family's struggle with their oldest son's death by suicide and path to healing. An important read considering today's rise in teen and young adult suicide.

[Zachary Steele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written, Nina Owens has crafted an honest and haunting trek through the grief and depression leading to the horrific suicide of her son, Sam. Through Sam’s writings, conversations, and multiple attempts at recovery, Owens carries the reader on a heartfelt search for answers, while offering the hope that Sam’s story can help others avoid the same fate.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a hearwrenching account of a son's suicide. The author brilliantly uses her painful experience to enlighten others. She shows her vulnerbility and Sam's through his journal writing and text messages and her moving words. I think this book could not have come at a better time with suicide rates on the rise. None of us are immune.

[Suzie McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nina Owen shares the important story of her son Sam, his suicide and the effect it had on their family. This is a raw and honest look at a horrific time. It is an important resource for mental health professionals and families struggling with mental health issues. Nina, thank you for sharing your story and helping others.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is and honest and detailed account of a son dealing with depression and the steps his parents took to seek help. It is eye opening to understand depression and suicide and the impact it has on family and friends. A heartbreaking and informative must read.

[Lisa Franciscl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books that I have ever read. Raw, personal and such a help to those who need it! I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who is a parent of a teenager or young adult! Truly Inspiring!!

[Jim Auchmutey · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of things that most impresses me about Nina Owen's memoir of her son's suicide is that it manages to be uplifting even as it's painful and heartbreaking. She draws meaning from her young son's life in an effort to help others. It's an act of love -- and perseverance.

[Anna Melkerson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true and very honest story about love, loss and peace!! I couldn't put it down!! You can feel all the emotions.

[LAURA · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brave and generous retelling of any mother's greatest tragedy. The author is an excellent storyteller and the story flows beautifully - from fear, to tragedy, to hope. Highly recommend.

[Lisa T · Rating 4 out of 5]

Touching and insightful- Nina poured her heart out throughout the book for the reader to feel the impact depression and suicide can have on a family.

[Hope Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard book to read. It flowed easily but was best consumed, for my own well-being, in small doses. I was welcomed into a world full of suffering and pain that moved toward healing. The rawness of her loss and the honesty of every word moved me to tears. I did not want to finish this book but I had to because I needed to know that Nina Owen would be ok. I connected with her as a mother who is simply trying to navigate the unfamiliar waters of raising children in a time where mental health needs, suicide ideation, and drug use are at an all-time high.

My full book review can be found at www.HopeNGriffin.com

[Joshua Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good

It took me two days to read this book. I literally couldn't wait to pick it up again. (I have a toddler). It was so real and honest. Thank you for sharing your story and bring vulnerable. So good... so so good

[Beth L. Fleming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotions flowing

Heartfelt, tear jerking, inspiring, honesty, loving, sad, emotionally difficult - so many emotions in such a well written book. Couldn't put it down. A true story written by a very loving mom.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book! The author is raw, emotional, and vulnerable while also being authentic and true. This story is a great tribute to a beautiful soul named Sam and the family that loved him.

[sa fletcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very moving

I read this book in one go, it was that poignant.I'm sure it will be of great help, to any families suffering a tragic bereavement like this .