The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation: How to Succeed in a Society That Blames You for Everything Gone Wrong

by Caitlin Fisher

A success guide for millennials that debunks the negative stereotypes and champions their unique strength as a generational force to be reckoned with.

We've all seen the Millennials aren't buying diamonds or saving for retirement. They're killing the housing market because they eat too many avocados. They all want cushy jobs with foosball tables and nap pods. The truth is, millennials were raised to believe they could do anything if they worked hard, and then they worked hard only to be told the world owes them nothing. Now they're tired of being gaslit.

The tide of young adults standing up for themselves is culminating in massive societal change. The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation uncovers the misconceptions about millennials, examining not only their unique strengths but also the baggage they have inherited from Baby Boomers. It shows just how different millennials are from previous generations--and why that's a very good thing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Social Science, Politics

206 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 15, 2019

Reviews

[Ryan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shallow critique. Asks some of the right questions, gives almost entirely wrong answers.

Their blanket pro-capitalism was what finally broke me. Their analysis both completely misunderstands what capitalism and anti-capitalism as a result, mean.

Additionally, she can't seem to tell what audience she's writing it for - is it for millenials? Is it for a general audience? Why is she giving millennials advice about picking a college when she knows we're almost entirely past college age?

And why is there stuff like resume advice? Why is it occasionally a self help book when it sells itself, seemingly as pop sociology?

[Belle · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I saw the title of this book, I immediately jumped on it because this is truly the subject that I’ve always wanted there to be a book about. I’ve always been one to rally behind my generation and to stand up against older generations who for years have put my generation down as just a bunch of dumb, entitled kids on their phones. I desperately needed a book that outlined and mirrored exactly my own thoughts on this issue. And then came this book and I thought, “THIS. This is what I’ve been waiting for!”

So...did this book deliver? Eh, yes and no. I think this was a great jumping off point around the topic of generational stigma and the unrelenting criticism that Millennials face against older generations. And even though this book is quite short in length, it still packs in a lot and covers everything from the job market and economical struggles to social issues like gender identity and feminism. The book is outlined superbly well and serves as a handy little guide for any number of topics you might want to learn more about and refer to later. Like, you know, when your relatives start spouting their usual “Kids these days...” over the dinner table at Thanksgiving... The end of each chapter is even written in a sort of self-help format, with practical life tips for Millenials to help them navigate whatever issue that particular chapter is covering. There are definitely a few gems in here that I underlined and annotated, so this will definitely be one I’ll re-read and come back to for future references.

Still, even with all of this said, I did find myself wanting more out of this. I think the first half was definitely a lot stronger and took on more of a sociological approach, but as it went on it started to get a lot more punchy and aggressive and not unlike something published by BuzzFeed. By the second half of the book, the topic of boomers almost completely disappeared altogether and it became more of the author’s own soapbox to talk about their stance on gender, relationships, and feminism and didn’t really circle back to the book’s original focus of boomers vs millennials. Not to say that it wasn’t still good material, but I just thought it lost itself a little in the end.

Just throwing out my own personal knit-picking here, but there were also times when I just disagreed with certain opinions the author would bestow upon the reader, like telling them not to develop credit because you’ll drown in debt, or insisting that renting really isn’t that bad and why would you want to go into massive debt buying a house you can’t afford?? Are you starting to see a pattern here? The author had a major habit of seeing things only in black-and-white. It’s either “Do the WRONG THING or do what I say because it’s right,” which is honestly pretty irresponsible, especially on matters in which you are not a financial expert and therefore are not qualified to give advice to others.

Ooh, quick adulthood rant here!
Like, yes, it IS possible to not develop credit, but as a trade-off it means you’ll be faced with SO many more barriers in adult life...like being able to rent an apartment as you later recommend! Many, many, many leasing offices require potential tenants to have a credit score. And sure, while there may be some workarounds with that or ways that you can still be qualified for an apartment without a credit score, that also just means that you’ll be at that much more of a disadvantage compared to this other person who has a check in hand, a great credit score, and is ready to sign. So you just lost that apartment. Having a credit score definitely helps you in the long run. And also, having a credit score does not automatically equate to having debt?? Like, you do realize that you can still develop credit safely AND continue to manage your money wisely?? Why are you framing it as a this-or-that scenario when it doesn’t have to be? Literally stop scaring people away from developing credit. Just stop.
End rant.

There was also another moment in the book that rubbed me the wrong way when the author was talking about religion and spirituality among Millenials. Basically equating atheism with unstable households and childhood trauma. Um...no?! Hi, proud Atheist here and I grew up in a very loving household and lived a pretty typical, happy childhood. Sometimes it ain’t that deep and you just don’t believe in God! 🤪🤷🏻‍♀️

Overall I thought this was a great first step in discussing generational differences and attitudes, especially attitudes from older generations about the newer generations, a topic that I’m very invested in, and I can only hope that this book will inspire more books like this to be published. Even within this book, there were still ways that I wish it could’ve been expanded upon into other areas like mental health, social media and online spaces, social justice, and more. So, authors, researchers... keep writing about this topic, please!

[Tim Collingwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a millennial. For years, I have put up with a lot of shit from boomers about what I am doing with my life, and what I am not doing with my life. When I speak of my life experiences, as well as support the experiences of my friends, I have experienced minimization and yes, gaslighting from boomers and even peers who buy the myths about millennials.

Reading the book, I felt seen, heard, supported, and not feeling alone. All things millennials and Gen Zers need right now that they aren't getting from current power structures take social privileges, that are also addressed with equitable humanity in this book.

I implore people of all generations to read this book and to stop gaslighting people of younger generations just because the systems you had growing up that worked for you don't work for me, and I am aware of that as well as aware of how they never worked for others.

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's rare that I can't finish a book, but this is truly a waste of time. I picked it up (as a millennial) eager to hear stats and figures related to the title of the book, makes sense right? But with each successive chapter, I stopped at #6, the facts get fewer and farther between while the author increases the amount of bad advice and complaints about her own life.

[Lydia · Rating 3 out of 5]

As another reviewer observed, this book ended up being more of a clever and commiserating self-help book than the pop sociology take I was expecting. I did still enjoy a quick read about generational opinions and trends with advice.

[Eila Mcmillin · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a fellow millennial I was intrigued by the concept of this work, but ultimately I feel that Caitlin Fisher has essentialized her experiences as experiences of all millennials, and in many ways they really are more unique to her than speaking to the experiences as a whole. Her messages, while often valid, are informed by her particular dysfunctional relationship with her mother, and really all baby boomers she has this encountered. Honestly her examination of behavior seemed very vain and vacant, even if her conclusions about necessary social change tend to ring true. At the end of the day, this, though based on a promising premise, really falls short and just feels like an account of her personal life about which she has many complaints.

[Jessica Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! Sometimes the author gets off-topic/ranty but they generally bring it back in the end. It's part self-help (with information on resumes, finding a job, picking out a college) and part discussion on the collective mistreatment/manipulation of a generation that was given a shit hand of cards and then told to make the best of it by the people who made the cards in the first place. Also the author takes a centrist approach to capitalism and it doesn't really fit with the other ideals represented throughout the rest of the book.

A good read! Not necessarily mind blowing new information but definitely a great introduction.

[Alysha DeShaé · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hate to write reviews that say "I already knew all this" because it sounds negative, but for me it isn't. Sometimes validation that what I've "just known" is really nice. And really, don't most millennials "just know" most of what is in this book. We know it, but then are told by older generations that we're delusional and then, well... This book happens because we already knew it. Now it's time everyone else knew it.

This book was inspiring, informative, and interesting - and I might like alliteration a bit much. 😹 But it's accurate. I'm keeping this on my "read again" list!

[Casie Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy read. Lightly touches on several issues without delving into deeply. In some places cheeky, but great to read with a friend and discuss!

[Sierra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really validating. I feel incredibly seem and appreciate that this is a conversation I’ve been trying to have with others most of my life.

[Seth Turner · Rating 1 out of 5]

About 5% legitimate arguments, and 95% leftist bullshit. Way too much generalization, assuming everyone of our generation is the same (or really any other group, too). The title wasn’t wrong, millennials do get gaslit a lot. But leftism isn’t the answer to any problem, and just furthers the stereotypes about millennials.

[Nada | ندى · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

[Beth & Luna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's an okay book. Some of the advice is good, some of it not so much. Could have done without the entire chapter on gender. Nothing to write home about.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a millennial, I liked the premise of this book; however, it is not particularly well-executed. It feels like it is written for millennials, but there is a lot of references to an audience from other generation cohorts. The author brings in research, which I really appreciated, but then ends each chapter dispensing free flowing advice that sometimes makes no sense (I'm sorry, but your credit score does matter). I think Fisher makes some excellent points, but it feels like she is trying to solve so many problems in her writing, that it becomes convoluted and loses its power. Her writing is quite casual, which I liked because it was entertaining, but it undercut her attempts at presenting rigorous data. Overall, a needed book but needs another edition to vastly improve on what is there.

[Luisa Calderón · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the reading, the book has good insights about the difficulties that millennials have gone through, and many times not considered by the other generations when doing judgments. Also those insights were well supported by stats.

I didn’t like the approach to the minority causes like “the black people”, the me too movement etc. I guess it troughs more hate and division about that.

I think the books is worth to read because it helps to understand millennials with empathy because people have to understand how they think in order to keep them working or doing whatever the other generation need them doing.

[Mark Faggerburg · Rating 1 out of 5]

Brutal book. If I wanted to read about some girl with mommy and daddy issues explain why she can't get over the fact that she's born during a specific time, I'd go to a left wing, female activist protest. Complaining about relationship issues, religion excuses, excuses, excuses.... Except female empowerment.
Get over it! Life is very hard no matter what generation you grew up in. Therapists are there to clean out your pockets and give you the feeling of satisfaction in the form of acceptance. Accept the fact that you are a whiny baby that didn't get your way.
Sending the book back as I don't have the time to put myself through anymore of it. Don't waste your time.

[Emily Copeland · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some valid points made in this book, especially in the first half of it. It does address misunderstandings and criticisms of the millennial generation pretty well at times.

However, it becomes increasingly difficult to sift through the ranting to find the substance as the book continues. Unfortunately that sort of ranting often legitimizes the criticisms about millennials rather than disprove them. Sigh.

Lastly, I also found the “how to” additions disjointed with the narrative. They didn’t fit the overall package at all.

[Brennan Lauritzen · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are informed and educated there's no real revelations in this book. And considering how old millennials are this book is too little too late.

If you are always making fun of younger generations and viewing them two dimensionally parts of this book are for you.

If your self esteem is wrapped up in earnings, or you haven't already started a career (ie high schoolers)--parts of this book are for you.

[Saad Aftab · Rating 3 out of 5]

If what you read is the literary equivalent of putting calories in your body, this book is what you should read on a cheat day.
While I largely agree with some of the main arguments presented here, portions of the book get too preachy/holier-than-thou as well as an exercise in excuse making. On at least one occasion, the author tells the reader to both do and not do something. An enjoyable read nonetheless.

[James Evans · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was super excited when I saw the title and direction of this book and - while I think Caitlin Fisher does have a good idea and is passionate about the topic, the book lacked practical analysis and came across as angry leftist characterized by random stories that everyone has heard before. I would have loved if there seemed to be some understanding of boomers or more right wing concepts because in its current state it lacks merit and will only result in more polarization.

[Rebecca Renea · Rating 4 out of 5]

My dad ironically sent me an article about this book as he saw it advertised in the local newspaper. I Liked it overall, often finding myself lol-ing and smirking. Some subjects didn't relate to me so i skimmed those parts but other than that i feel like it's a valid summation of what millennials have gone through/go through on a daily basis.

[Chandler Jameson · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were parts that I agreed with and some observations I found interesting or relatable. But overall I found it irritating, particularly the chapter on religion. Very reductive. It’s interesting that the theme of the book is that people need to stop lecturing millennials, yet the tone throughout the book is one of a lecture.

[Bay · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great primer

A great primer on how millennials think and what we say and do amongst ourselves. If you ever wanted to understand the world as it is today, this book is an invaluable tool

[Jojolee · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half of this book was great. It took a sociological perspective on generational differences and how the lives of millennials have been shaped by society, culture and technology. The second half felt like it was losing steam and instead turned more and more towards personal anecdotes. It was funny, highly relatable (as a millennial), and enlightening in some parts – but sadly, the second half read like a BuzzFeed article. I’m not quite sure who the intended audience is either. Skip 🙅🏻‍♀️

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! Gave me a lot of insight into the younger generation and why my therapist values "being authentic," which I always thought was just being alive but he'll I learned so much about folks who made "vibe" a verb. I love that there's footnotes and facts, too.

[Fathimatuz Zahra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book, thats discussing about milenials clearly.

[Ning Kantida · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like the author wrote out of frustration, instead of trying to make sound arguments. There are still some good points and information in there, though.

[Briar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good detailed account of how the generation is a scapegoat for others as well as how the generation is changing their environment.

[Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh.

Weird mix of treatise on what Boomers did wrong, on Fisher's own messed up childhood and self-help-style advice book. Never really landed for me.

[Danielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read like an idiot’s tumblr post circa 2010. A fee of the right questions asked, very few “right” or even thoughtful, let alone researched, conclusions. I’m shocked this was published.