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An Odd Cross to Bear: A Biography of Ruth Bell Graham
The fascinating life story, told critically but sympathetically, of a paragon of twentieth-century white Christian womanhood—and the wife of evangelist Billy Graham.
Ruth Bell Graham’s legacy is closely associated with that of her husband, whose career placed her in the public eye throughout her life. But, while it’s true that her identity was significantly shaped by her role in supporting Billy Graham’s ministry, Ruth carried a strong sense of her own agency and was widely influential in her own right, especially in the image she projected of conservative evangelical womanhood—defined by a faith that was deep, private, and nonpolitical.
Beginning prior to Ruth and Billy’s meeting at Wheaton College, Anne Blue Wills chronicles the many formative experiences of Ruth’s life—especially the first decade of her childhood living in a community of American medical missionaries in China. Throughout the biography, Wills focuses not on Ruth’s role in Billy’s life, but on her own interests, ambitions, and fears—as a devoted mother of five, as the fastidious manager of a household, as a devout and well-read Christian, and as a beloved writer and poet.
Dealing honestly with a life of contradictory responsibilities that Ruth Bell Graham herself called “an odd kind of cross to bear,” Wills draws from nearly a decade of original research and presents a nuanced portrait of Graham apart from the reverential awe of her admirers and the oversimplified caricatures put forth by her detractors. In telling Graham’s story, Wills indirectly tells the story of millions of women who emulated Graham as a role model—women who spurned second-wave feminism and willingly submitted to patriarchy while maintaining an undeniable sense of independence and strength of conviction.
Ruth Bell Graham’s legacy is closely associated with that of her husband, whose career placed her in the public eye throughout her life. But, while it’s true that her identity was significantly shaped by her role in supporting Billy Graham’s ministry, Ruth carried a strong sense of her own agency and was widely influential in her own right, especially in the image she projected of conservative evangelical womanhood—defined by a faith that was deep, private, and nonpolitical.
Beginning prior to Ruth and Billy’s meeting at Wheaton College, Anne Blue Wills chronicles the many formative experiences of Ruth’s life—especially the first decade of her childhood living in a community of American medical missionaries in China. Throughout the biography, Wills focuses not on Ruth’s role in Billy’s life, but on her own interests, ambitions, and fears—as a devoted mother of five, as the fastidious manager of a household, as a devout and well-read Christian, and as a beloved writer and poet.
Dealing honestly with a life of contradictory responsibilities that Ruth Bell Graham herself called “an odd kind of cross to bear,” Wills draws from nearly a decade of original research and presents a nuanced portrait of Graham apart from the reverential awe of her admirers and the oversimplified caricatures put forth by her detractors. In telling Graham’s story, Wills indirectly tells the story of millions of women who emulated Graham as a role model—women who spurned second-wave feminism and willingly submitted to patriarchy while maintaining an undeniable sense of independence and strength of conviction.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published October 13, 2022
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137 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
August 9, 2024
When the author introduced herself as a feminist, my initial thought was that it would be interesting to read a book about a person with whose faith and values the author likely disagreed with. Turns out that it did add an interesting flavor, but not in a good way. Throughout the entire book, Wills cannot seem to get past the fact that Ruth “gave up her dreams” when she married Billy, and the reader is reminded of this what seems like hundreds of times. She makes little effort to understand their complementarian views or why one spouse might willingly sacrifice for another, or entertain the possibility that Ruth may not have spent her entire life resenting Billy for this. She also tries very hard to paint the Grahams as racist, accusing Ruth of “Christian compromise” and making assumptions about motives. For example, she accuses Wheaton of not having enough non-white subjects in photos in the 1943 yearbook, without addressing the white/non-white student ratio at the time, and assumes that one photo that shows black children with a caption that reads “The (college’s) founding fathers would rejoice” is a statement of self-congratulatory pride about black children needing the intervention of white people, rather than what it MAY have been - children hearing the Gospel.
Another example from Ruth’s time at Wheaton- when some of the students from the South formed a club and organized an event featuring ‘grits, patty sausage and the kind of coffee grandma used to make’, the author states “one imagines that the Southern customs and ideals promoted might have included the exclusion of Black people from the group.” Really?!? There is ZERO evidence for that, but “one might imagine”!? The author’s bias comes through loud and clear.
She also states that part of the reason they moved back to Montreat was because it was segregated and that was a social arrangement the Bell’s were comfortable with, which seems directly in opposition to Billy Grahams work openly repudiating segregation. Additionally, she takes aim at their marriage, implying that Ruth couldn’t have possibly been happy in her role as wife and mother and was likely unhappy with this arrangement behind closed doors, while in the media they were portrayed as having an exemplary marriage.
The author’s view on critical theory becomes apparent as she continues multiple times to comment on white privilege, accuse people of using their childhood poverty to claim a connection to marginalized people, and making assumptions about people’s view on race and segregation with no facts to back up her claims, including Ruth and her parents.
It seems that Wills could not put her bias aside, and instead foisted her modern day ideology onto Ruth’s 100 year old history. It’s a shame she couldn’t avoid this, because aside from that, she’s clearly a talented researcher and writer. While her goal was to focus on Ruth’s life aside from Billy, I now feel like I need to read a different biography that tells Ruth’s story not skewed by an aversion to the values she held.
Another example from Ruth’s time at Wheaton- when some of the students from the South formed a club and organized an event featuring ‘grits, patty sausage and the kind of coffee grandma used to make’, the author states “one imagines that the Southern customs and ideals promoted might have included the exclusion of Black people from the group.” Really?!? There is ZERO evidence for that, but “one might imagine”!? The author’s bias comes through loud and clear.
She also states that part of the reason they moved back to Montreat was because it was segregated and that was a social arrangement the Bell’s were comfortable with, which seems directly in opposition to Billy Grahams work openly repudiating segregation. Additionally, she takes aim at their marriage, implying that Ruth couldn’t have possibly been happy in her role as wife and mother and was likely unhappy with this arrangement behind closed doors, while in the media they were portrayed as having an exemplary marriage.
The author’s view on critical theory becomes apparent as she continues multiple times to comment on white privilege, accuse people of using their childhood poverty to claim a connection to marginalized people, and making assumptions about people’s view on race and segregation with no facts to back up her claims, including Ruth and her parents.
It seems that Wills could not put her bias aside, and instead foisted her modern day ideology onto Ruth’s 100 year old history. It’s a shame she couldn’t avoid this, because aside from that, she’s clearly a talented researcher and writer. While her goal was to focus on Ruth’s life aside from Billy, I now feel like I need to read a different biography that tells Ruth’s story not skewed by an aversion to the values she held.
November 1, 2022
Since I stepped foot on Wheaton College’s campus as a freshman and read Patricia Cornwall’s biography, I was enamored with Ruth Bell Graham. I wrote a paper on her life for a class assignment, pasted her quotes in my journal, and collected articles about her in a file. You can imagine my delight at discovering that a brand new biography had been released this month!
Anne Blue Wills’ An Odd Cross to Bear highlights Ruth Bell Graham as a significant woman in her own right, leaving her own indelible impression on “twentieth-century white evangelical American culture.” Wills depicts “a child whose shortcomings were the subject matter of family letters, who lived in a country deemed ‘heathen’ that was riven by deadly violence, among a missionary community devoted to…the binary star of Presbyterian belief–human sinfulness and God’s universal sovereignty over the visible and invisible.”
Ruth was “one of a generation of white Protestant women in the South who was as educated and ambitious as any self-identified feminists, yet consecrated that education and ambition to homemaking and child rearing.” She refuted feminism and actively embraced a life characterized by patriarchy: Ruth was the daughter of a dismissive missionary father, wife of an often absent evangelist, and mother of a rebellious philanthropist. She was content to surrender her own missionary dreams, demure to speaking opportunities, write poems versus autobiography, and be buried where her father and son wanted. Her plot in death reflects her plot in life–shaped and molded by the men around her.
Much has happened since my college days. My dreams of missions, marriage, and motherhood transformed into teaching and travel as an independent woman. Our society has also evolved in our awareness of racism, colonialism, and sexism. While I will forever admire Ruth Bell Graham, Anne Blue Wills’ An Odd Cross to Bear removed the pedestal on which I had placed her in my mind and reframed her in the gallery of faith in my heart.
Anne Blue Wills’ An Odd Cross to Bear highlights Ruth Bell Graham as a significant woman in her own right, leaving her own indelible impression on “twentieth-century white evangelical American culture.” Wills depicts “a child whose shortcomings were the subject matter of family letters, who lived in a country deemed ‘heathen’ that was riven by deadly violence, among a missionary community devoted to…the binary star of Presbyterian belief–human sinfulness and God’s universal sovereignty over the visible and invisible.”
Ruth was “one of a generation of white Protestant women in the South who was as educated and ambitious as any self-identified feminists, yet consecrated that education and ambition to homemaking and child rearing.” She refuted feminism and actively embraced a life characterized by patriarchy: Ruth was the daughter of a dismissive missionary father, wife of an often absent evangelist, and mother of a rebellious philanthropist. She was content to surrender her own missionary dreams, demure to speaking opportunities, write poems versus autobiography, and be buried where her father and son wanted. Her plot in death reflects her plot in life–shaped and molded by the men around her.
Much has happened since my college days. My dreams of missions, marriage, and motherhood transformed into teaching and travel as an independent woman. Our society has also evolved in our awareness of racism, colonialism, and sexism. While I will forever admire Ruth Bell Graham, Anne Blue Wills’ An Odd Cross to Bear removed the pedestal on which I had placed her in my mind and reframed her in the gallery of faith in my heart.
January 15, 2023
Enjoyable! She was very much her own person, and I found myself identifying with Ruth more than I expected to. Being a pastor’s wife is a role thrust upon one by marriage, and it’s up to the wife to make of it what she will. Ruth did a fine job.
January 4, 2023
I have mixed thoughts about this book, and I'll start with the positives followed by the negatives.
Positives
1. Clarity of Writing
Regardless of anything else, I found Anne Wills' writing clear, compelling, and easy to read. Which honestly can be difficult to do in the biography genre. Her masterful wielding of different prose created an engaging story for the person of Ruth Graham. Some biographies can be dry, but the writing was far from dry.
2. Extensive Research and Depth of Biographical Knowledge
It's evident in reading that Anne Wills went above and beyond to tell the best story about Ruth Graham, pulling sources and reports from every possible source. I appreciate how the writer sought to bring readers into the "behind the scenes" picture of Ruth that many people wouldn't know. She even says it took her ten years to pull everything together in the intro. I respect the rigorous Excellence Anne Wills brought as a historian and researcher.
Negatives
1. Felt redundant at times and lost momentum halfway through
Despite the book being well written, I think many parts of the book felt redundant and kept saying the same thing in different ways. Whether it was focusing on Ruth's poetry, views on being a mother, or a "housewife, " these dimensions of Ruth's persona felt overdone and uninteresting after a while.
Additionally, I think the book's first half was exciting and engaging. Still, the second half felt anti-climatic, directionless, and at some points, dry to read. I was struggling to finish the last half of the reading.
2. The author's views leaked in and took away from the biography
You get the sense early on that the author has an interesting mix of both high honor/respect for Anne Graham and a disapproving tone of criticism at points toward Ruth. For the most part, the author worked to share what historical sources gave the insight to paint an accurate picture of Ruth while filling in gaps as best as possible.
However, there were often moments when the author would say something about Ruth and simultaneously quip about modern times, personal commentary, or criticism towards Ruth in subtle or not subtle ways. It's clear the author would disagree with Ruth's views on many points and, in some ways, feels like trying to convince readers to disagree with Ruth. Regardless of a person's opinions on various issues mentioned in the book (gender roles, race, etc.) I found it took away from the book's charm and the compelling writing.
In contrast, I appreciate it when someone more critical of a person writes a biography. The critical eye tends to write a balanced view of the person rather than a "glowing" only "shows the positive" side of a person. I would rather have an author be a little critical of the person than only have a positive bias. However, I felt like the equal side of a negative bias leaked out in different spots.
3. Trying to Talk about Ruth Graham without Key Players
The author states early on that the book is trying to focus on Ruth solely and leave the rest of the crucial figure's stories out, as there are many biographies about Billy Graham, Franklin Graham, etc. The challenge was that the mosaic or windows into Ruth's life felt incomplete without a few more characters' backstories.
As a reader that knows little about the inner workings and stories of other figures, the author assumes all readers know fully about key figures aside from Ruth.
Ironically the author states multiple times in the book that "Billy could not be fully understood or complete without Ruth" (Paraphrase). At the same time, one needs Billy and other crucial figures to fully understand Ruth to provide more context into who she was.
The author did this well, giving time and attention to her parents (The Bells). The context of Ruth's growing up years, her relationship with her parents, and the later years of Ruth's parents' life gave intriguing context. I wish there had been equal attention to other characters who played a significant role in Ruth's life.
To be fair again, you only have so much time and space to write about an individual. For the space she had, it felt adequate to give the big picture of who Ruth was. I think, at times, reading felt a little confusing or in the dark because of prior knowledge assumed to be had by the reader.
End Rating
All in all, The book is worth a read. I loved the approach of bringing light to an often overlooked individual (Ruth) who contributed to the success of Billy Graham but was not often recognized in her own right. Looking past the book's detractors, It's still worth a read!
3/5
Positives
1. Clarity of Writing
Regardless of anything else, I found Anne Wills' writing clear, compelling, and easy to read. Which honestly can be difficult to do in the biography genre. Her masterful wielding of different prose created an engaging story for the person of Ruth Graham. Some biographies can be dry, but the writing was far from dry.
2. Extensive Research and Depth of Biographical Knowledge
It's evident in reading that Anne Wills went above and beyond to tell the best story about Ruth Graham, pulling sources and reports from every possible source. I appreciate how the writer sought to bring readers into the "behind the scenes" picture of Ruth that many people wouldn't know. She even says it took her ten years to pull everything together in the intro. I respect the rigorous Excellence Anne Wills brought as a historian and researcher.
Negatives
1. Felt redundant at times and lost momentum halfway through
Despite the book being well written, I think many parts of the book felt redundant and kept saying the same thing in different ways. Whether it was focusing on Ruth's poetry, views on being a mother, or a "housewife, " these dimensions of Ruth's persona felt overdone and uninteresting after a while.
Additionally, I think the book's first half was exciting and engaging. Still, the second half felt anti-climatic, directionless, and at some points, dry to read. I was struggling to finish the last half of the reading.
2. The author's views leaked in and took away from the biography
You get the sense early on that the author has an interesting mix of both high honor/respect for Anne Graham and a disapproving tone of criticism at points toward Ruth. For the most part, the author worked to share what historical sources gave the insight to paint an accurate picture of Ruth while filling in gaps as best as possible.
However, there were often moments when the author would say something about Ruth and simultaneously quip about modern times, personal commentary, or criticism towards Ruth in subtle or not subtle ways. It's clear the author would disagree with Ruth's views on many points and, in some ways, feels like trying to convince readers to disagree with Ruth. Regardless of a person's opinions on various issues mentioned in the book (gender roles, race, etc.) I found it took away from the book's charm and the compelling writing.
In contrast, I appreciate it when someone more critical of a person writes a biography. The critical eye tends to write a balanced view of the person rather than a "glowing" only "shows the positive" side of a person. I would rather have an author be a little critical of the person than only have a positive bias. However, I felt like the equal side of a negative bias leaked out in different spots.
3. Trying to Talk about Ruth Graham without Key Players
The author states early on that the book is trying to focus on Ruth solely and leave the rest of the crucial figure's stories out, as there are many biographies about Billy Graham, Franklin Graham, etc. The challenge was that the mosaic or windows into Ruth's life felt incomplete without a few more characters' backstories.
As a reader that knows little about the inner workings and stories of other figures, the author assumes all readers know fully about key figures aside from Ruth.
Ironically the author states multiple times in the book that "Billy could not be fully understood or complete without Ruth" (Paraphrase). At the same time, one needs Billy and other crucial figures to fully understand Ruth to provide more context into who she was.
The author did this well, giving time and attention to her parents (The Bells). The context of Ruth's growing up years, her relationship with her parents, and the later years of Ruth's parents' life gave intriguing context. I wish there had been equal attention to other characters who played a significant role in Ruth's life.
To be fair again, you only have so much time and space to write about an individual. For the space she had, it felt adequate to give the big picture of who Ruth was. I think, at times, reading felt a little confusing or in the dark because of prior knowledge assumed to be had by the reader.
End Rating
All in all, The book is worth a read. I loved the approach of bringing light to an often overlooked individual (Ruth) who contributed to the success of Billy Graham but was not often recognized in her own right. Looking past the book's detractors, It's still worth a read!
3/5
May 11, 2023
Turns out Ruth Bell Graham is absolutely fascinating. I enjoyed this book a lot!
July 30, 2024
I loved this book, and it also infuriated me.
I’ve been craving a biography on Ruth Bell Graham for about two years now since I was first introduced to her life on a podcast. I knew about the one Patricia Cornwell wrote but I hadn’t been able to find it easily. I stumbled upon this one and bought it without hesitation and flew through the book. The author has spent 10 years researching Ruth’s life and that is evident in her writing. I soaked it up. It was wonderful.
As a biography, it’s laid out well, following different periods of her life in mostly chronological order. (As a young mom myself, I wish the author spent more time discussing her child rearing years, but that’s just a matter of personal preference.)
However, the biggest downside to this book is that the author, a self-proclaimed feminist and not evidently a Christian, seemed to have a hard time understanding Ruth’s life in the culture. It’s like the author hates the stereotype Ruth falls into (white evangelical wife, mother, homemaker) and was trying to reconcile her love/fascination with Ruth against her feminism backdrop and dislike of the stereotype. At times, it seemed like she was digging at Ruth, poking holes in her and trying to make her the villain or reading way more into little things, rather than just telling the story of her life. (For example, all throughout the book she paints Ruth as a devout racist when it seems more like an extrapolation of the content provided, then in the last chapter nearly admits her perceived racial stigma as untrue, glossing over it like she hadn’t made it a big deal in the previous chapters.)
Because of her wrestling with Ruth’s values against the ideas and pursuit of feminism, the author does put Ruth’s life very much in context of what’s happening around her, likely more than a typical biographer would. So that’s nice, but not entirely worth it in my opinion.
This is the first biography I’ve read from the Library of Religious Biography series, and I don’t know if I would look for more. This book was fine, but I’m not going to freely recommend it, especially not until I read Cornwell’s biography.
I’ve been craving a biography on Ruth Bell Graham for about two years now since I was first introduced to her life on a podcast. I knew about the one Patricia Cornwell wrote but I hadn’t been able to find it easily. I stumbled upon this one and bought it without hesitation and flew through the book. The author has spent 10 years researching Ruth’s life and that is evident in her writing. I soaked it up. It was wonderful.
As a biography, it’s laid out well, following different periods of her life in mostly chronological order. (As a young mom myself, I wish the author spent more time discussing her child rearing years, but that’s just a matter of personal preference.)
However, the biggest downside to this book is that the author, a self-proclaimed feminist and not evidently a Christian, seemed to have a hard time understanding Ruth’s life in the culture. It’s like the author hates the stereotype Ruth falls into (white evangelical wife, mother, homemaker) and was trying to reconcile her love/fascination with Ruth against her feminism backdrop and dislike of the stereotype. At times, it seemed like she was digging at Ruth, poking holes in her and trying to make her the villain or reading way more into little things, rather than just telling the story of her life. (For example, all throughout the book she paints Ruth as a devout racist when it seems more like an extrapolation of the content provided, then in the last chapter nearly admits her perceived racial stigma as untrue, glossing over it like she hadn’t made it a big deal in the previous chapters.)
Because of her wrestling with Ruth’s values against the ideas and pursuit of feminism, the author does put Ruth’s life very much in context of what’s happening around her, likely more than a typical biographer would. So that’s nice, but not entirely worth it in my opinion.
This is the first biography I’ve read from the Library of Religious Biography series, and I don’t know if I would look for more. This book was fine, but I’m not going to freely recommend it, especially not until I read Cornwell’s biography.
May 29, 2023
This is the first biography of Ruth Bell Graham I have read. So, I have limited knowledge of her story and life other than her marriage to Billy Graham. It was enjoyable to read about this woman. Regretably, the author often draws conclusions on Ruth's actions and lifestyle from her own perspective of 21st centurey culture and social customs. This is really my single criticism. The book is otherwise a good way to uncover many facts and events of Ruth's life.
November 27, 2023
A biography of RBG is always worth reading, but I wish I had chosen a different one. Wills does an adequate job; however, her feminist bias at times becomes uncomfortably loud. She, to her credit, rises to the challenge of respectfully writing about someone with different values from her own. Yet the second half of the book, especially, includes too many pages that do not tell Ruth's story, and it becomes too political for my taste.
January 24, 2023
I was very intrigued in the beginning of the book, as well as by the title (which I think is clever). Towards the middle/end of the book, I was not as hooked nor do I think the author did the best job of setting aside her biases to tell Graham’s story. I also liked the Ruth before Billy much more than I did the one who married Billy Graham. I am left with many unanswered questions.
August 8, 2023
Ruth Graham is a very interesting person and subject. Her life story is fascinating. The author places 21st-century standards on someone who was raised in the 30s and 40s. It was disappointing to see how critical the author was of whites and homemakers who were doing what they believed God was calling them to do.
March 2, 2024
Wills is both diligent in her study & empathetic in her writing. This book left me admiring the wit, hope, stubbornness, compassion, & faith that marked the seemingly paradoxical life of Ruth Bell Graham!
October 27, 2022
3 1/2 stars. It was a good book, but lots of repeated material throughout the book. I admire Ruth Graham.
November 16, 2024
A very nice look at the life of Ruth Graham. There is a LOT about her father, Nelson Bell. Mostly this slowly paints a picture of a faithful wife and mother with a mind and wit of her own. Lovely.
August 12, 2025
The author got in the way therefore, I could not read any further. I stopped and read the reviews here to see if any one else was getting the same vibes. Sure enough, it seems that is the consensus.
October 6, 2025
The author should of stuck with Ruth’s story and left out her bias.
December 1, 2023
What can I say about this life
Amazing woman, driven, thoughtful and full of love. Thankful that I read this book, if I could only be 1/4 of the woman that Ruth was, I think I Would be happy. Good read.
Amazing woman, driven, thoughtful and full of love. Thankful that I read this book, if I could only be 1/4 of the woman that Ruth was, I think I Would be happy. Good read.
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