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Liches Get Stitches #1
Liches Get Stitches
Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs. Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right?
Wrong.
Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbours of the realm. Now instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
Wrong.
Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbours of the realm. Now instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 18, 2021
423 people are currently reading
691 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
July 13, 2024
This a cute and fun story. It gave me strong Adams Family vibes, and felt more like a cozy than dark fantasy.
The main character accidentally becomes a litche and then spends the whole book playing Dr Frankenstein and consuming souls in her efforts to be left alone and keep the peasants and nobles out her property.
It didn't left me with a strong impression but I had a nice time reading it.
The main character accidentally becomes a litche and then spends the whole book playing Dr Frankenstein and consuming souls in her efforts to be left alone and keep the peasants and nobles out her property.
It didn't left me with a strong impression but I had a nice time reading it.
January 8, 2023
If you're a fan of iZombie i think you're going to like this. 4.25. Can a book be a light read when it's still got a main character doing lots of murder? This book says that yes, that is possible.
Listen, I wasn't expecting this shit to be funny. Like sure the title is silly, but the inside, come to find out, is a dark comedy. And this was just an honest to god delight. If i were asked to describe this I would call it "slice of life" but the main character is dead so... slice of afterlife? NEW GENRE UNLOCKED.
We start out and we have a very ominous setting, and this group of folks heads to this town where a necromancer has killed some folks and is doing, you know general evilness. And he dies. But so do they. They fail. And what happens next is our main character, Maude, wakes up and is like "oh shit, i'm dead". And she's sort of disconnected from her previous life emotionally and is like "well, i guess this is my villain era". She heads home and basically just wants to garden, hang with her cat, steal whatever she needs and eat souls. But in order to lead start the afterlife she wants to lead she first has to deal with some annoying humans who are like "ew gross, an undead woman". It's funny, it's fun, it's self aware, it doesn't take itself super seriously because it's just supposed to be: what if you woke up dead but just wanted to read your books and eat some souls and chill but everyone was being super not chill about that?
There's this super great moment where, because she has several creatures doing her bidding, she gets these crows working for her and they're like "hey, you need to pay us in memories". So this GENIUS UNDEAD WOMAN gives them the memories of READING HER FAVORITE BOOK so that she can reread it again for the first time. I love her, your honor.
Listen, I wasn't expecting this shit to be funny. Like sure the title is silly, but the inside, come to find out, is a dark comedy. And this was just an honest to god delight. If i were asked to describe this I would call it "slice of life" but the main character is dead so... slice of afterlife? NEW GENRE UNLOCKED.
We start out and we have a very ominous setting, and this group of folks heads to this town where a necromancer has killed some folks and is doing, you know general evilness. And he dies. But so do they. They fail. And what happens next is our main character, Maude, wakes up and is like "oh shit, i'm dead". And she's sort of disconnected from her previous life emotionally and is like "well, i guess this is my villain era". She heads home and basically just wants to garden, hang with her cat, steal whatever she needs and eat souls. But in order to lead start the afterlife she wants to lead she first has to deal with some annoying humans who are like "ew gross, an undead woman". It's funny, it's fun, it's self aware, it doesn't take itself super seriously because it's just supposed to be: what if you woke up dead but just wanted to read your books and eat some souls and chill but everyone was being super not chill about that?
There's this super great moment where, because she has several creatures doing her bidding, she gets these crows working for her and they're like "hey, you need to pay us in memories". So this GENIUS UNDEAD WOMAN gives them the memories of READING HER FAVORITE BOOK so that she can reread it again for the first time. I love her, your honor.
August 11, 2022
Overall I really loved this, but had a few niggles along the way, so I'll go with 4*
This was absolutely hilarious and so much fun - if you have a dark sort of humour.
Beware, it's really dark and gory, and has plenty of guts, blood, death and murder. Liches do not cuddle their victims to death, so I was expecting some, but it was quite more detailed than I expected! I do not mind at all personally, and can have a good chuckle ifnl someone gets excited about using parts of decaying bodies as crafting material, however I know not everyone will like that.
I love Maud! Suddenly, accidentally finding herself a Lich, she adapts to her new lifestyle quickly. Never having been much of a people person, or good at social interactions, she's rather happy about the lack of people once you're undead. She enjoys her new power, and most if all just wants to be left in peace, so she can craft nice new dresses, or maybe monsters made from whatever dismembered human scap she got lying around.
Annoyingly people keep coming to her home and bother her, trying to unroot the evil there. The upside is their tasty souls, and yet more material for crafting! And don't you think nice ribbons and mice skulls just fit together perfectly?
I liked how Maud is not evil, just seems to have a very pragmatic view, and isn't much bothered by morals. Her quick and matter of fact tone worked so well, and I loved the way she just shrugs and goes "Oh well, what else shouldni have done?"
There's a few scenes where I think it got a bit too out of hand story wise, or the scales otntoo epic for the kinda close style the book otherwise has. No major problems, just a little bit here and there.
This book does not take itself or anything seriously at all, and was an utterly fantastic ride of a story. I absolutely will pick up any sequels!
This was absolutely hilarious and so much fun - if you have a dark sort of humour.
Beware, it's really dark and gory, and has plenty of guts, blood, death and murder. Liches do not cuddle their victims to death, so I was expecting some, but it was quite more detailed than I expected! I do not mind at all personally, and can have a good chuckle ifnl someone gets excited about using parts of decaying bodies as crafting material, however I know not everyone will like that.
I love Maud! Suddenly, accidentally finding herself a Lich, she adapts to her new lifestyle quickly. Never having been much of a people person, or good at social interactions, she's rather happy about the lack of people once you're undead. She enjoys her new power, and most if all just wants to be left in peace, so she can craft nice new dresses, or maybe monsters made from whatever dismembered human scap she got lying around.
Annoyingly people keep coming to her home and bother her, trying to unroot the evil there. The upside is their tasty souls, and yet more material for crafting! And don't you think nice ribbons and mice skulls just fit together perfectly?
I liked how Maud is not evil, just seems to have a very pragmatic view, and isn't much bothered by morals. Her quick and matter of fact tone worked so well, and I loved the way she just shrugs and goes "Oh well, what else shouldni have done?"
There's a few scenes where I think it got a bit too out of hand story wise, or the scales otntoo epic for the kinda close style the book otherwise has. No major problems, just a little bit here and there.
This book does not take itself or anything seriously at all, and was an utterly fantastic ride of a story. I absolutely will pick up any sequels!
The necromancer lies sprawled in the dirt. A pity, because he would be a prime candidate. I regard him with distaste. He is tolerably handsome, even in death. If you like that sort of thing. His eyes are wide open, a look of surprise plastered on his face. Stabbed in the back, I note with some satisfaction. Good riddance. Hmm... perhaps I can bring him back from the dead, then kill him again? I don't know if that would be very satisfying though. Can I even bring things back from the dead? I feel like that should be a given but I don't know how.
Either way I kick the necromancer as I walk past, nearly losing my footing on the gore in my enthusiasm. After a moment I go back and grind his head underfoot, just for good measure. It crumples quite satisfactorily. I am so strong!
January 27, 2025
This reminds me of an undead Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way.....with a nice dash of horror. I think listening to this as an audiobook solidified this for me. The Audible edition is fantastic. The narrator was spot on for the main character. A few of the characters were a bit weirdly voiced, but the narrator was great for the voices that counted. This was such a funny, scary, adventurous book. I can't wait to consume the next one in the series!
January 8, 2023
Забавна и интересна историйка за вещица, която случайно става лич, но вместо мания за завладяване на светаа под игото на немъртвите, която неизменно получават всички личове (или която имат всички, които са се старали да станат личове), тя просто иска да си седи в къщата в гората и да си бере билки.
Естествено обаче, никой няма да я остави да си живее живота на спокойствие...
Естествено обаче, никой няма да я остави да си живее живота на спокойствие...
September 11, 2022
This was one of my review requests but I had been waiting for the audiobook to come out, and then it did! The title of this clearly suggests a comedy which, I feel like a broken record — I’m always down for a comedy.
The title doesn’t mislead you, this is a story about a lich. A lich that wakes up at the start of the story without any idea of what or who she is. All she knows is that she’s undead and skeletal like as she examines herself. This is one of the only times where it’s appropriate to have a character describe themselves to the reader, it’s usually a huge peeve but here it makes sense.
She finds out she was kind of an accident, a necromancer came to her old village and slaughtered everyone, including herself. She was a woods witch, a green witch, a peaceful healer in her first life and she managed to take down the necromancer, but not without sacrificing herself in the process. Well, she ends up with a phylactery instead of the necromancer and that’s how everything kicks off. She’s very barely human looking, she’s a walking skeleton more or less. With baggy clothes and a hook she can pass as a person, but no one can take any close look without her cover being blown. Well, all she wants to do is be left alone and live out her life, but people keep coming to kill her.
Boy did I really like the first chapter. I really love the idea of an unintentional lich and she’s gone full villain. Given her previous life, it’s likely that upon becoming undead and her soul being ripped from her body, all her morals and values and ethics fled as well. She makes piles of bodies to experiment on as she learns how to use her powers. She’s got piles of “keep”, “parts” and “trash”, lol. She also inherits a drauger from the last necromancer, a sort of pathetic guy named Roland IIRC. He’s bound to her as he was bound to his last master, but she’s actually an upgrade as she says, thank you, good job. As she re-animates things she creates minions and she starts to “nest” down and build a new life for herself. But the damn peasants keep trying to kill her. Very annoying.
This is written in a lighter tone, but there’s still a lot of violence, I would call this a black comedy. The tone of the audiobook performer kept throwing me, thought. I felt like it just didn’t match the story. I would have been expecting someone with a voice like Pat Carrol /Ursula from Little Mermaid something deep and rasping, but she’s super high pitch and proper. I would have maybe been able to get over it and just say, well this lich has a high voice, but it specifically said in the narrative description that she could easily pass for a man’s voice because of the depth and tone of her voice. It referenced it a few times, lol. This is a me thing, the performer herself did do a great job I just kept thinking about how chipper she sounds.
So as far as did I enjoy her character, I can’t say I liked her as a person, but she was entertaining at times and very interesting. She was just so brutal, lol. And carelessly brutal, remorselessly brutal, so this is definitely going to be for people who enjoy grey or villain main POVs. For me, I usually need some other character I can root for to truly invest in a story, but again this is personal taste.
I think my favorite part of the book was a death scene… via undead goose. Honk honk. There is a lot of absurdity type humor, situational humor, and black humor/gallows humor.
This wasn’t a big stakes kind of book, either. I think my biggest drawback was that there there wasn’t a huge amount of tension in the story for me. It’s almost like a slice of life story of a lich being born, testing out her abilities, and building a life for herself with little to no impact on the world at large. Things were going a little too easily, honestly. She runs up against a problem and then just bulldozes through it. Knights, angry mages, other warriors sent to kill her just pose no issue at all for most of the book. Like, even just personal tension within herself, like if she was struggling with her darker needs, or longing for her past life, or some kind of personal tension could also have given me a little more to latch on to, it doesn’t have to be big stakes tension. She just barreled through everything both morally and physically. I was starting to get a little bored when the issue of her phylactery came up, her first real hurdle and I got more interested. LOL it came like 65% through the book, though, so the pace was kind of slower for me.
It’s a very easy breezy writing style, very straight forward prose which makes this a very fast read. There isn’t a terrible amount of plot, but that’s all right, smaller scale stories tend to be more character focused, and the way this book is written character development is often tied directly into the world building, what magic can and cant do, how souls work, her abilities etc.
Overall this was a fun book and I’d recommend it to people who like villain povs and a lot of magic and action.
Ratings:
Plot: 10/15
Characters: 10/15
World Building: 11/15
Writing: 12/15
Pacing: 10/15
Originality: 11/15
Enjoyment: 6/10
Final Score: 70/100
The title doesn’t mislead you, this is a story about a lich. A lich that wakes up at the start of the story without any idea of what or who she is. All she knows is that she’s undead and skeletal like as she examines herself. This is one of the only times where it’s appropriate to have a character describe themselves to the reader, it’s usually a huge peeve but here it makes sense.
She finds out she was kind of an accident, a necromancer came to her old village and slaughtered everyone, including herself. She was a woods witch, a green witch, a peaceful healer in her first life and she managed to take down the necromancer, but not without sacrificing herself in the process. Well, she ends up with a phylactery instead of the necromancer and that’s how everything kicks off. She’s very barely human looking, she’s a walking skeleton more or less. With baggy clothes and a hook she can pass as a person, but no one can take any close look without her cover being blown. Well, all she wants to do is be left alone and live out her life, but people keep coming to kill her.
Boy did I really like the first chapter. I really love the idea of an unintentional lich and she’s gone full villain. Given her previous life, it’s likely that upon becoming undead and her soul being ripped from her body, all her morals and values and ethics fled as well. She makes piles of bodies to experiment on as she learns how to use her powers. She’s got piles of “keep”, “parts” and “trash”, lol. She also inherits a drauger from the last necromancer, a sort of pathetic guy named Roland IIRC. He’s bound to her as he was bound to his last master, but she’s actually an upgrade as she says, thank you, good job. As she re-animates things she creates minions and she starts to “nest” down and build a new life for herself. But the damn peasants keep trying to kill her. Very annoying.
This is written in a lighter tone, but there’s still a lot of violence, I would call this a black comedy. The tone of the audiobook performer kept throwing me, thought. I felt like it just didn’t match the story. I would have been expecting someone with a voice like Pat Carrol /Ursula from Little Mermaid something deep and rasping, but she’s super high pitch and proper. I would have maybe been able to get over it and just say, well this lich has a high voice, but it specifically said in the narrative description that she could easily pass for a man’s voice because of the depth and tone of her voice. It referenced it a few times, lol. This is a me thing, the performer herself did do a great job I just kept thinking about how chipper she sounds.
So as far as did I enjoy her character, I can’t say I liked her as a person, but she was entertaining at times and very interesting. She was just so brutal, lol. And carelessly brutal, remorselessly brutal, so this is definitely going to be for people who enjoy grey or villain main POVs. For me, I usually need some other character I can root for to truly invest in a story, but again this is personal taste.
I think my favorite part of the book was a death scene… via undead goose. Honk honk. There is a lot of absurdity type humor, situational humor, and black humor/gallows humor.
This wasn’t a big stakes kind of book, either. I think my biggest drawback was that there there wasn’t a huge amount of tension in the story for me. It’s almost like a slice of life story of a lich being born, testing out her abilities, and building a life for herself with little to no impact on the world at large. Things were going a little too easily, honestly. She runs up against a problem and then just bulldozes through it. Knights, angry mages, other warriors sent to kill her just pose no issue at all for most of the book. Like, even just personal tension within herself, like if she was struggling with her darker needs, or longing for her past life, or some kind of personal tension could also have given me a little more to latch on to, it doesn’t have to be big stakes tension. She just barreled through everything both morally and physically. I was starting to get a little bored when the issue of her phylactery came up, her first real hurdle and I got more interested. LOL it came like 65% through the book, though, so the pace was kind of slower for me.
It’s a very easy breezy writing style, very straight forward prose which makes this a very fast read. There isn’t a terrible amount of plot, but that’s all right, smaller scale stories tend to be more character focused, and the way this book is written character development is often tied directly into the world building, what magic can and cant do, how souls work, her abilities etc.
Overall this was a fun book and I’d recommend it to people who like villain povs and a lot of magic and action.
Ratings:
Plot: 10/15
Characters: 10/15
World Building: 11/15
Writing: 12/15
Pacing: 10/15
Originality: 11/15
Enjoyment: 6/10
Final Score: 70/100
July 2, 2025
I mean, Maud just wants to be left alone! After everything she's gone through. Is that too much to ask?
This is a dark, gruesome story that is also irreverent and hilarious. It's such a good combo for me.
We follow Maud as she tries to make a home for herself and her cat, among her forrest. When she finds herself in the wrong place and time, she makes the best of it and ends up on the dark side of life.
She sure makes the most of it! My fav chapter is Monster Parade, I couldn't stop laughing. There is a ton of humour-and grossness, on these pages and I couldn't stop reading.
Why did I like Maud so much? I need to look at that, for sure lol
my rating is 4.25
This is a dark, gruesome story that is also irreverent and hilarious. It's such a good combo for me.
We follow Maud as she tries to make a home for herself and her cat, among her forrest. When she finds herself in the wrong place and time, she makes the best of it and ends up on the dark side of life.
She sure makes the most of it! My fav chapter is Monster Parade, I couldn't stop laughing. There is a ton of humour-and grossness, on these pages and I couldn't stop reading.
Why did I like Maud so much? I need to look at that, for sure lol
my rating is 4.25
July 26, 2022
A funny, dark fantasy that had me both grossed out (lots of grisly crafting going on!) and delighted. Can’t Maud just be left to sew and tend her undead garden in peace? I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this quite so much, but it had me laughing all the way through.
It’s a bit like Legends & Lattes (cozy-ish, at least from Maud's perspective) if you like B horror movies (any Army of Darkness fans here?), progression fantasy, and don’t mind a severed head or two.
It’s a bit like Legends & Lattes (cozy-ish, at least from Maud's perspective) if you like B horror movies (any Army of Darkness fans here?), progression fantasy, and don’t mind a severed head or two.
August 16, 2022
Excellent! Excellent! What a joy to read.
Light-hearted, unpretentious, witty and more than anything, entertaining!
There are quite a lot of paradoxes in the tale, lots of contradictions. But to be fair, you just gloss over them because that's not the kind of tale this is.
Right at home in the category of Vainqueur the dragon.
Hard recommend!
Light-hearted, unpretentious, witty and more than anything, entertaining!
There are quite a lot of paradoxes in the tale, lots of contradictions. But to be fair, you just gloss over them because that's not the kind of tale this is.
Right at home in the category of Vainqueur the dragon.
Hard recommend!
November 8, 2023
all reviews in one place:
night mode reading
; skaitom nakties rezimu
About the Book: Due to seemingly random chance, a necromancer targeted Maud’s village to sacrifice for his spell. But thanks to some heroes, failed miserably. And so here Maud is, a lich, and he’s dead, in a pile of people just as dead. Having gone through this traumatic event, she’d like to go back to her life, garden, pets and animals. But will those damned heroes let her? No! They trapse in, threaten her animals, hurt her sweet cat, try to burn down her home, those pesky… Well, she’ll show them how to mess with a witch! Well… Lich.
My Opinion: It’s a very fun and funny book, full of various little adventures and events, nothing overbearing or requiring full attention. Perfect book to relax with a little, especially if you’re a gamer too, might be amusing to read a book from a mob perspective. Lots of simple but well written characters, among whom there were angry undead geese who were just absolutely spectacular. If nothing else, read it for them.
About the Book: Due to seemingly random chance, a necromancer targeted Maud’s village to sacrifice for his spell. But thanks to some heroes, failed miserably. And so here Maud is, a lich, and he’s dead, in a pile of people just as dead. Having gone through this traumatic event, she’d like to go back to her life, garden, pets and animals. But will those damned heroes let her? No! They trapse in, threaten her animals, hurt her sweet cat, try to burn down her home, those pesky… Well, she’ll show them how to mess with a witch! Well… Lich.
My Opinion: It’s a very fun and funny book, full of various little adventures and events, nothing overbearing or requiring full attention. Perfect book to relax with a little, especially if you’re a gamer too, might be amusing to read a book from a mob perspective. Lots of simple but well written characters, among whom there were angry undead geese who were just absolutely spectacular. If nothing else, read it for them.
December 15, 2025
This had the potential to be really good and a massively fun time, but it didn't fully hit that mark for me. The flow of her becoming a lich and figuring stuff out felt off she went from being good hedge/green witch to immediately speaking a bloodbath revenge felt out of place it shouldn't have been immediate like that. I loved the idea that she's just trying to be left alone and just do her stuff. I especially loved (even though it was super gruesome) the body part army she literally built. It could also have been funnier. Not enough chaos.
November 20, 2025
I thought this was a ton of fun, and maybe the most outright entertaining book I've read in a while. it's a grisly, violent read, yet somehow manages to be light and funny at the same time, which is a feat in itself. Maud is a fantastic character. I'll definitely be reading the sequel.
September 6, 2022
Hedge-witch Maud is minding her own business but when a necromancer attacks the village and everything goes sideways, she finds herself an unintended lich and has to figure out how to thrive against a world that wants her dead.
The “slice-of-life” look at an undead sorcerer who wants to be left to her devices in the woods was an interesting concept. Tolson’s writing is snappy and the humor, while bleak, landed more often than not. With the crisp narrative flow, I had little trouble visualizing the events and the setting. The world-building is adequate and hints of distant enemies and mysterious gods offer a teasing view of future conflicts and stories.
Unfortunately, I find progression fantasies to be repetitive in terms of plot and this one (research spells, kill enemies, research stronger spells, kill stronger enemies, etc.) was no different. The main character reaches a point where she can kill every enemy nearby with a wave of her hand and even overcomes strong enemies without much trouble ... which robbed the story of any tension.
Recommended for people who like slice-of-life fantasy, progression fantasy, and dark humor.
The “slice-of-life” look at an undead sorcerer who wants to be left to her devices in the woods was an interesting concept. Tolson’s writing is snappy and the humor, while bleak, landed more often than not. With the crisp narrative flow, I had little trouble visualizing the events and the setting. The world-building is adequate and hints of distant enemies and mysterious gods offer a teasing view of future conflicts and stories.
Unfortunately, I find progression fantasies to be repetitive in terms of plot and this one (research spells, kill enemies, research stronger spells, kill stronger enemies, etc.) was no different. The main character reaches a point where she can kill every enemy nearby with a wave of her hand and even overcomes strong enemies without much trouble ... which robbed the story of any tension.
Recommended for people who like slice-of-life fantasy, progression fantasy, and dark humor.
August 4, 2022
This book is ABSOLUTE BRILLIANT! Darkly hilarious, with a dash of sardonic and sarcasm, I enjoyed every moment of it. Maud is a woodland witch that enjoys being left alone to tend to her herb garden, pet her cat, read her steamy books and practice her embroidery, until one day a Dark Wizard accidentally turns her into a Liche. And wouldn’t you know it? She still wants to be left alone to do all the aforementioned things except now with a little more flair since she is extremely powerful. But the humans will not leave her alone!!! So, what is one gothic Liche to do other than make herself beautiful dresses and skirts out of dark silks and velvets? Read to find out and enjoy the laughs, the outfits, the embroidery and the gore.
December 31, 2024
Okay, this made me giggle many times. I thought it was a standalone, buuuut it isn't. But I enjoyed this enough and it is short enough that I'm planning on reading at least the next. The audiobook narrator is great and I think she was a perfect choice.
May 15, 2024
It’s not a bad book, I just couldn’t get into it. Lich goes on killing spree, the end. There were some funny parts and if you need an origin story for your undead DnD boss it’s great.
Would have been better as a short story I think. But try it out, it could work for you.
Would have been better as a short story I think. But try it out, it could work for you.
August 13, 2023
DNF 18%
A light-hearted tale told from the monster's point of view. The titular Liche is amoral and suffers from a total lack of empathy. This premise is simply not to my taste.
A light-hearted tale told from the monster's point of view. The titular Liche is amoral and suffers from a total lack of empathy. This premise is simply not to my taste.
Read
October 30, 2023Read about 15% of this and stopped. I didn't really care to find out how this continues because I felt like I had no understanding of the main character's motivations at all...
November 20, 2021
Delightfully evil and morbidly hilarious
Liches Get Stitches is the story of Maud. A homebody hedge witch who due to a botched ritual becomes the (un)fortunate recipient of lichdom. She now has super strength, near indestructiblity, and no flesh.
Maud has an instinctive compulsion to do litch-y things like acquire helmets and raising minions, and murders people almost casually, but much of her original "cat loving crafter" personality remains. The juxtaposition between these two natures gives the (first person) narration a very unique voice that is an interesting blend of cosy and callous. This is where much of the humor comes from, but also helps keep the tone light despite wading through guts and death. And it IS funny. Books rarely make me laugh out loud, but there were several moments here that made me giggle like a sadistic child.
The world is a stereotypical medievalish europish fantasy that seems to take a lot of inspiration from D&D and/or videogames. It's generic, but it services the story: a familiar world from a very unfamiliar perspective.
Maud grows in power throughout the story, and much of the plot revolves around her learning how to use her new powers, and acquiring resources and allies. So fans of progression fantasy may find that itch scratched a little here.
Speaking of the plot, that would be where my one critism would be. After a very fast paced opening, the first half of the story feels quite "low pressure" and it takes a while for Maud to start moving in a particular direction. If you enjoy (incredibly violent) low stakes slice of life scenes or exploring the rules of magic systems, this likely won't be a proplem but if like me you prefer a bit more focus there's a chance this section will slow you down a bit.
That said, that's a brief period in a book that isn't super long to begin with, so I don't think it'd be a deal breaker for anyone unless you NEED a strong antagonist or laser focused goal to be present throughout a story. For me, the high points throughout and the awesome third act were enough to win me over!
There are also some occasional editing/formatting mistakes, but not enough to impact overall enjoyment.
Overall a very fun little read that achieves exactly what it tries to do. I'm looking forward to reading more in the sequel.
Liches Get Stitches is the story of Maud. A homebody hedge witch who due to a botched ritual becomes the (un)fortunate recipient of lichdom. She now has super strength, near indestructiblity, and no flesh.
Maud has an instinctive compulsion to do litch-y things like acquire helmets and raising minions, and murders people almost casually, but much of her original "cat loving crafter" personality remains. The juxtaposition between these two natures gives the (first person) narration a very unique voice that is an interesting blend of cosy and callous. This is where much of the humor comes from, but also helps keep the tone light despite wading through guts and death. And it IS funny. Books rarely make me laugh out loud, but there were several moments here that made me giggle like a sadistic child.
The world is a stereotypical medievalish europish fantasy that seems to take a lot of inspiration from D&D and/or videogames. It's generic, but it services the story: a familiar world from a very unfamiliar perspective.
Maud grows in power throughout the story, and much of the plot revolves around her learning how to use her new powers, and acquiring resources and allies. So fans of progression fantasy may find that itch scratched a little here.
Speaking of the plot, that would be where my one critism would be. After a very fast paced opening, the first half of the story feels quite "low pressure" and it takes a while for Maud to start moving in a particular direction. If you enjoy (incredibly violent) low stakes slice of life scenes or exploring the rules of magic systems, this likely won't be a proplem but if like me you prefer a bit more focus there's a chance this section will slow you down a bit.
That said, that's a brief period in a book that isn't super long to begin with, so I don't think it'd be a deal breaker for anyone unless you NEED a strong antagonist or laser focused goal to be present throughout a story. For me, the high points throughout and the awesome third act were enough to win me over!
There are also some occasional editing/formatting mistakes, but not enough to impact overall enjoyment.
Overall a very fun little read that achieves exactly what it tries to do. I'm looking forward to reading more in the sequel.
June 27, 2025
Audiobook: 8hrs 23 mins
Narrator: Ella Lynch
Again this is another book I've had languishing on my TBR for far to long, but I was determined to get to it and cross it off for the challenge this year. And I'm glad I did as it was a fabulously fun listen, yes it's quite dark and gory in places but it's also very funny in a morbid kind of way. So trigger warning if blood and body parts are not your thing I'd stay away. The narrator Ella Lynch was perfect as Maud, and her delivery especially at the more comedic lines within the story were brilliant.
After her village is destroyed and her family and neighbours sacrificed by a necromancer, Maud is reborn as a powerful lich. All she wants from her new life is to tend her garden, have time for her crafts and her cat, while hanging out in her cottage in the woods. But peace and quiet isn't in the cards for Maud, as every knight, holy cleric and lowly peasant in the realm is out to get her. Which begs the question, who does a lich have to kill to get some tranquility?
Everyone it seems...
There isn't anything I didn't like about Maud's character at all, she was fun, blunt as a spoon and hilarious. After being raised as a lich all she wants is to be left alone, but it seems no-one else got that memo. Soul stealing, chaos and carnage are order of the day, but she's a strangely likable character that you can't help but root for. Her obsession with outfits, embroidery and her new 'crafts' involving body parts to serve as warnings were vastly entertaining. Besides who hasn't fantasized about a little murder when wanting some peace and quiet .. oh it's just me then 🤣
I'll definitely be continuing this series as its dark humor and unique storyline really appealed to me. Plus I want to know what mayhem Maud can cause next. Totally recommend 😁
Narrator: Ella Lynch
Again this is another book I've had languishing on my TBR for far to long, but I was determined to get to it and cross it off for the challenge this year. And I'm glad I did as it was a fabulously fun listen, yes it's quite dark and gory in places but it's also very funny in a morbid kind of way. So trigger warning if blood and body parts are not your thing I'd stay away. The narrator Ella Lynch was perfect as Maud, and her delivery especially at the more comedic lines within the story were brilliant.
After her village is destroyed and her family and neighbours sacrificed by a necromancer, Maud is reborn as a powerful lich. All she wants from her new life is to tend her garden, have time for her crafts and her cat, while hanging out in her cottage in the woods. But peace and quiet isn't in the cards for Maud, as every knight, holy cleric and lowly peasant in the realm is out to get her. Which begs the question, who does a lich have to kill to get some tranquility?
Everyone it seems...
There isn't anything I didn't like about Maud's character at all, she was fun, blunt as a spoon and hilarious. After being raised as a lich all she wants is to be left alone, but it seems no-one else got that memo. Soul stealing, chaos and carnage are order of the day, but she's a strangely likable character that you can't help but root for. Her obsession with outfits, embroidery and her new 'crafts' involving body parts to serve as warnings were vastly entertaining. Besides who hasn't fantasized about a little murder when wanting some peace and quiet .. oh it's just me then 🤣
I'll definitely be continuing this series as its dark humor and unique storyline really appealed to me. Plus I want to know what mayhem Maud can cause next. Totally recommend 😁
January 29, 2023
I thought this was pretty darn good, a very entertaining read!
If you like D&D, necromancy, cottagecore feels and an interestingly savage main character who is learning what it means to be undead, this might be for you.
I thought the structure of the story was pretty well done, there are of course plenty of little grammar errors and some spelling mistakes that are a bit glaringly obvious, but I think that comes with the territory of this kindle only format book. It's just a bit jarring when you're used to reading strictly traditionally published books, or at least it was for me for some stupid reason.
The characters were pretty good, even though we mainly go around with our main character Maud, I liked her a lot and she was definitely that cottagecore hedge witch turned undead and she's just trying to enjoy life with her cat undisturbed. It's kind of funny watching her explore her newfound abilities and the magic she can now use, while also wanting to sew her own skirts and read her books. It was an interesting perspective to have that's for sure, and it also isn't for the faint of heart when she comes to understand her likeness for violence.
People who have triggers for eye gore like me: this one is rough.
Overall, it was pretty good. I thought the epilogue was a bit too long, but the writing style was nice and it was a fast paced, easy read. Give it a go if you want something entirely different and not really out there in other stories! I'm not sure personally if I'll finish the series, I don't have that immediate want to grab the next book like I usually do if I am in love with a story, but I might still.
If you like D&D, necromancy, cottagecore feels and an interestingly savage main character who is learning what it means to be undead, this might be for you.
I thought the structure of the story was pretty well done, there are of course plenty of little grammar errors and some spelling mistakes that are a bit glaringly obvious, but I think that comes with the territory of this kindle only format book. It's just a bit jarring when you're used to reading strictly traditionally published books, or at least it was for me for some stupid reason.
The characters were pretty good, even though we mainly go around with our main character Maud, I liked her a lot and she was definitely that cottagecore hedge witch turned undead and she's just trying to enjoy life with her cat undisturbed. It's kind of funny watching her explore her newfound abilities and the magic she can now use, while also wanting to sew her own skirts and read her books. It was an interesting perspective to have that's for sure, and it also isn't for the faint of heart when she comes to understand her likeness for violence.
People who have triggers for eye gore like me: this one is rough.
Overall, it was pretty good. I thought the epilogue was a bit too long, but the writing style was nice and it was a fast paced, easy read. Give it a go if you want something entirely different and not really out there in other stories! I'm not sure personally if I'll finish the series, I don't have that immediate want to grab the next book like I usually do if I am in love with a story, but I might still.
June 27, 2022
Liches Get Stiches is a light hearted - if rather gory - slice of life tale of a witch who never intended to become a Lich. But having become a Lich, the body count starts to mount quite quickly as people just won't leave her alone. You'd think that having the decapitated heads of the first interlopers would put people off, but nooooo, everyone has got to be a hero. It's not her fault that people keep interrupting her peaceful forest and trying to kill her (again), after all.
If you ever want to laugh and then wonder briefly whether laughing at this makes you a sadistic psychopath, then Liches Get Stiches is probably for you. It's full of grim and gory humour, along with undead geese, an unhappy rooster when the undead geese kill all his chickens, undead chickens (and a slightly happier rooster) and whatever newly undead followers Maud decides will be useful in her quest for a quiet undead life.
It's not exactly an in-depth fantasy world. There is a magic system of sorts, but it largely revolves around Maud trying things out and getting unexpected results. There's certainly magical - undead - mayhem within the pages, but it doesn't try too hard and it certainly doesn't take itself too seriously. It's almost a cozy slice of life, except cozy slice of life doesn't standardly include decapitated heads, murderous undead geese, death, more death, some necromancy and then more death.
I picked it up because I needed a palate cleanser to cure my book hangover - for which I can blame NACL: Eye of the Storm - and it was exactly what I needed.
If you ever want to laugh and then wonder briefly whether laughing at this makes you a sadistic psychopath, then Liches Get Stiches is probably for you. It's full of grim and gory humour, along with undead geese, an unhappy rooster when the undead geese kill all his chickens, undead chickens (and a slightly happier rooster) and whatever newly undead followers Maud decides will be useful in her quest for a quiet undead life.
It's not exactly an in-depth fantasy world. There is a magic system of sorts, but it largely revolves around Maud trying things out and getting unexpected results. There's certainly magical - undead - mayhem within the pages, but it doesn't try too hard and it certainly doesn't take itself too seriously. It's almost a cozy slice of life, except cozy slice of life doesn't standardly include decapitated heads, murderous undead geese, death, more death, some necromancy and then more death.
I picked it up because I needed a palate cleanser to cure my book hangover - for which I can blame NACL: Eye of the Storm - and it was exactly what I needed.
August 14, 2022
Dark but merry
If you like your hero’s… well… heroic then this book may not be for you but if your intrigued by a main character who’s utterly amoral and ruthlessly practical - someone who doesn’t so much as a bat an eye before snapping a neck or dicing up the body of a nuisance to make crafting supplies then you may enjoy this. This book is dark in terms of graphic violence and being told from the perspective of someone who could quite easily be the heartless villain of another book but don’t think that dark means it’s overly dull, dreary and serious. Above all this book is fun - and quite funny too. Sometimes when an author goes for the kind of colourful tone this book has it comes off a little cringy as they try to reach for a wit they don’t actually posses. That wasn’t the case with this one though - I was chuckling through a lot of it. Outside of that the plot does meander a little in the beginning but I’m not knocking it down for that because it didn’t bother me but it very well could for some - it focused pretty quickly though.
This book won’t be for everyone and some might get bogged down in the ethics and find the character unsympathetic which is fair enough but if your like me and happy to put that aside and enjoy the ride I think you could have a really fun read here. I’ve devoured this and have already downloaded the next one.
If you like your hero’s… well… heroic then this book may not be for you but if your intrigued by a main character who’s utterly amoral and ruthlessly practical - someone who doesn’t so much as a bat an eye before snapping a neck or dicing up the body of a nuisance to make crafting supplies then you may enjoy this. This book is dark in terms of graphic violence and being told from the perspective of someone who could quite easily be the heartless villain of another book but don’t think that dark means it’s overly dull, dreary and serious. Above all this book is fun - and quite funny too. Sometimes when an author goes for the kind of colourful tone this book has it comes off a little cringy as they try to reach for a wit they don’t actually posses. That wasn’t the case with this one though - I was chuckling through a lot of it. Outside of that the plot does meander a little in the beginning but I’m not knocking it down for that because it didn’t bother me but it very well could for some - it focused pretty quickly though.
This book won’t be for everyone and some might get bogged down in the ethics and find the character unsympathetic which is fair enough but if your like me and happy to put that aside and enjoy the ride I think you could have a really fun read here. I’ve devoured this and have already downloaded the next one.
November 4, 2022
Interesting
Maud was a hedgewitch when a necromancer blew through her village killing everyone. Including her. But she didn't stay dead. Something happened and she came back. Now she's a skeletal being but she can devour souls. And with each she looks a little more human again. But people keep coming into her woods, bothering her. Why can't they leave her alone?
Spoilers ahead.
So, I saw the title and I was expecting humor. There's a little of it but it's mostly used up in the book and chapter titles. It's like a day to day diary of an undead witch learning her new life. It wasn't bad but I stopped at 56% because it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I liked the attack geese but I just felt bad for poor Roland. You learn more about the necromancer than her. And I really could have cared less about the main character at all. There's no emotional connection there. You don't ever bond with her. She isn't the focus at the beginning. She just poofs into being a couple chapters in but she acts so oddly and in such awful ways that when the focus switches to her you can't connect to her. The concept caught my interest and I tried. But I just couldn't finish it. I could power through but without any real interest it wouldn't be satisfying.
Maud was a hedgewitch when a necromancer blew through her village killing everyone. Including her. But she didn't stay dead. Something happened and she came back. Now she's a skeletal being but she can devour souls. And with each she looks a little more human again. But people keep coming into her woods, bothering her. Why can't they leave her alone?
Spoilers ahead.
So, I saw the title and I was expecting humor. There's a little of it but it's mostly used up in the book and chapter titles. It's like a day to day diary of an undead witch learning her new life. It wasn't bad but I stopped at 56% because it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I liked the attack geese but I just felt bad for poor Roland. You learn more about the necromancer than her. And I really could have cared less about the main character at all. There's no emotional connection there. You don't ever bond with her. She isn't the focus at the beginning. She just poofs into being a couple chapters in but she acts so oddly and in such awful ways that when the focus switches to her you can't connect to her. The concept caught my interest and I tried. But I just couldn't finish it. I could power through but without any real interest it wouldn't be satisfying.
February 7, 2023
This was really fun and unexpected. I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting into, but the prose got me hooked within the opening chapter. The author had a knack for conveying the tone with great visual turns of phrase.
The story follows a main character who comes out the other side of a traumatic experience and finds herself in the role of a Bad Guy. Or specifically, an undead Lich.
I really enjoyed how the author portrayed the character as being contaminated with a malevolence of some sort in a semi-benign way. She wasn't looking to be a Dark Lord as much as she just wanted to be left alone, working in her garden or dabbling with craft projects. Though now she considers body parts as viable crafting supplies and considers the same way she does different colors and textures of ribbon. The mundane ones are for general use, while these will be for special occasions...
This was just an all-around refreshing fantasy story that stayed focused on the character and premise without getting too bogged down by huge amounts of world-building. There were plenty of interesting world-building elements, to be sure, but I didn't feel beaten over the head with them as sometimes happens in fantasy.
The story follows a main character who comes out the other side of a traumatic experience and finds herself in the role of a Bad Guy. Or specifically, an undead Lich.
I really enjoyed how the author portrayed the character as being contaminated with a malevolence of some sort in a semi-benign way. She wasn't looking to be a Dark Lord as much as she just wanted to be left alone, working in her garden or dabbling with craft projects. Though now she considers body parts as viable crafting supplies and considers the same way she does different colors and textures of ribbon. The mundane ones are for general use, while these will be for special occasions...
This was just an all-around refreshing fantasy story that stayed focused on the character and premise without getting too bogged down by huge amounts of world-building. There were plenty of interesting world-building elements, to be sure, but I didn't feel beaten over the head with them as sometimes happens in fantasy.
August 12, 2023
Undead? Check! Gore? Check! Hilarity? DOUBLE CHECK!
With a title like this, how could I not pick this book up? Maud wants nothing more that to enjoy the peace and quiet of her forest home. Tending to her garden, petting her cat and doing all kinds of crafts. Why should being dead stop her? After a necromancer picks her sleepy village for his ritual, Maud is accidentally turned into a lich and has a crash course in being dead. She doesn't understand why all these people won't leave her alone, she specially made warning signs with the severed heads of her enemies just for that purpose. Learning the ropes, Maud begins to amass her unconventional undead army and learns to enjoy the smaller things in life, like consuming the souls of her enemies and the wonderful sound of their bones crunching.
This book is not for the squeamish, but the unrestrained brutality is balancing by the humor, like Maud's joy for embroidery even if its used to reattach her minions head to its neck or create create monsters made out of whatever limbs she had laying around.
With a title like this, how could I not pick this book up? Maud wants nothing more that to enjoy the peace and quiet of her forest home. Tending to her garden, petting her cat and doing all kinds of crafts. Why should being dead stop her? After a necromancer picks her sleepy village for his ritual, Maud is accidentally turned into a lich and has a crash course in being dead. She doesn't understand why all these people won't leave her alone, she specially made warning signs with the severed heads of her enemies just for that purpose. Learning the ropes, Maud begins to amass her unconventional undead army and learns to enjoy the smaller things in life, like consuming the souls of her enemies and the wonderful sound of their bones crunching.
This book is not for the squeamish, but the unrestrained brutality is balancing by the humor, like Maud's joy for embroidery even if its used to reattach her minions head to its neck or create create monsters made out of whatever limbs she had laying around.
July 5, 2025
I've never read book like this before! The plot itself is very intriguing. I went in expecting this to be funnier but I was a little disappointed. It's super light reading and I fell asleep here and there.
It was fun some places, especially the gratuitous murder and necromancy, but I think it sort of dragged on for a while, which is why I had to take naps. I felt very connected to the main character, even though there wasn't much emotional stuff going on, other than some anxiety as to whether someone's attacking her house. Maybe it's part of the plot that there's less emotion in a lich, or that our heroine is suppressing her emotions due to trauma.
As for the writing, it's a delight, but it could use some more editing for minor errors in sentences and some paragraphs could be clearer. All in all, a great commute read or one to wind down with in bed. I finished it in about a day. Great to procrastinate with on reading other books.
Some things I'm more curious about, so I'm onto the second book in the series!
It was fun some places, especially the gratuitous murder and necromancy, but I think it sort of dragged on for a while, which is why I had to take naps. I felt very connected to the main character, even though there wasn't much emotional stuff going on, other than some anxiety as to whether someone's attacking her house. Maybe it's part of the plot that there's less emotion in a lich, or that our heroine is suppressing her emotions due to trauma.
As for the writing, it's a delight, but it could use some more editing for minor errors in sentences and some paragraphs could be clearer. All in all, a great commute read or one to wind down with in bed. I finished it in about a day. Great to procrastinate with on reading other books.
Some things I'm more curious about, so I'm onto the second book in the series!
February 23, 2023
I try not to compare the books I review with other books I've reviewed (at least the more obscure ones) because I never know whether or not the person who reads this might the books that I'm referencing, or even if they've ever reviewed my books at all. But I can't with this one. It shares so much DNA with the Vigor Mortis books that it's hard for me to write a review of the book on its own merits and not just say 'Read Vigor Mortis instead, it's the same thing but better.' Having said that, read Vigor Mortis instead, it's the same thing but better.
Is this book that bad, though? Not really. This is about as two and a half star book as you can get. It's rather run of the mill for its premise and I get that half the time it's going for a kind of tongue in cheek tone, but it kind of misses the mark for me. There were also a few things I wanted to see out of this book, but found it was absent. An initial refusal to accept ones unlife and gradual acceptance of it. An awareness that there might need to be a shift of morality in order to continue to exist as you are. I didn't really get any of that. Maud just wakes up a lich, and is like, 'cool, lets go raise some dead.' from page 1. Other than that the book is just okay. Like I said. Two and a half stars.
Is this book that bad, though? Not really. This is about as two and a half star book as you can get. It's rather run of the mill for its premise and I get that half the time it's going for a kind of tongue in cheek tone, but it kind of misses the mark for me. There were also a few things I wanted to see out of this book, but found it was absent. An initial refusal to accept ones unlife and gradual acceptance of it. An awareness that there might need to be a shift of morality in order to continue to exist as you are. I didn't really get any of that. Maud just wakes up a lich, and is like, 'cool, lets go raise some dead.' from page 1. Other than that the book is just okay. Like I said. Two and a half stars.
November 13, 2024
I loved this series! Imagine a hedge witch who accidently becomes a powerful undead. She continues to love to knit, garden, craft, and make potions, only now she crafts with dead bodies, and her potions are made with undead ingredients. All she wants to do is live in peace in her quiet cottage working on her crafting. All others want to do is kill her. In book one we see her deal with conflicts with the local barony. In book 2 she deals with another undead Lich and his kingdom. In books 3, 4, and 5 she manages disputes with the fae queen of summer and other powerful characters. The dry humor in this story is delightful, especially when it comes to her knitting and embroidery. I highly recommend this series.
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