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Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
From celebrity heartthrob, esteemed host of The Viall Files podcast, and adored member of Bachelor Nation Nick Viall comes Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday —a no-holds-barred dating advice book.
With his trademark charm, relationship expertise, and exclusive sex and love Q&A series, Nick guides readers through topics of love, lust, dating, and heartbreak. Nothing is off-limits as he delves into situationships, how to identify a player, and defining healthy love vs. toxic love. Trying to figure out if friends with benefits is worth it? Unsure if they’re really into you? Is this guy a walking red flag? Can you come back from being cheated on? Viall is here with all the answers and more.
Filled with stories and one-liners you’ll be texting your friends, Donʼt Text Your Ex Happy Birthday is an honest, entertaining, and heartfelt relationship handbook that actually answers the question, “What does it mean when they say . . . ?”
“I texted my ex ‘hi’ on Christmas and then I read this book. Required reading for anyone else embarrassing themselves on a daily basis.” — New York Times bestselling author Cazzie David
From celebrity heartthrob, esteemed host of The Viall Files podcast, and adored member of Bachelor Nation Nick Viall comes Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday —a no-holds-barred dating advice book.
With his trademark charm, relationship expertise, and exclusive sex and love Q&A series, Nick guides readers through topics of love, lust, dating, and heartbreak. Nothing is off-limits as he delves into situationships, how to identify a player, and defining healthy love vs. toxic love. Trying to figure out if friends with benefits is worth it? Unsure if they’re really into you? Is this guy a walking red flag? Can you come back from being cheated on? Viall is here with all the answers and more.
Filled with stories and one-liners you’ll be texting your friends, Donʼt Text Your Ex Happy Birthday is an honest, entertaining, and heartfelt relationship handbook that actually answers the question, “What does it mean when they say . . . ?”
“I texted my ex ‘hi’ on Christmas and then I read this book. Required reading for anyone else embarrassing themselves on a daily basis.” — New York Times bestselling author Cazzie David
224 pages, Hardcover
Published October 4, 2022
429 people are currently reading
1669 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 281 reviews
September 20, 2022
Preliminary thoughts:
- Spoken like a man giving a woman unsolicited advice
- I think the target audience for this is teenage girls
- He talks a lot about ego & being honest with yourself . He really thinks he’s a guru
- BIG EYE ROLL
Curiosity killed the cat, and as a fan of the Bachelor, obviously I went into this one curious if Nick V. had anything juicy or interesting to say. It was a big-fat snore and felt very preachy. I am generally not a fan of Nick but I was hoping this book would change my perspective... it did not. He really thinks he's a gift to his people. His advice wasn't bad but it was very elementary and I personally don't think it needed to be packaged into a book. He's a 40 year old man and doesn't need to be giving teenage girls advice which is exactly what if felt like even though his audience is women 20-35. There were sentences in the book where it sounded like he thought he was ~shocking~ the reader - spoiler alert Nick it is 2022, the concept of casual sex does not ~shock~ us. This is really just a re-branded version of He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys which also should've been a magazine article and not a full book.
Ok, that's all.
Thank you to the publisher for the arc.
- Spoken like a man giving a woman unsolicited advice
- I think the target audience for this is teenage girls
- He talks a lot about ego & being honest with yourself . He really thinks he’s a guru
- BIG EYE ROLL
Curiosity killed the cat, and as a fan of the Bachelor, obviously I went into this one curious if Nick V. had anything juicy or interesting to say. It was a big-fat snore and felt very preachy. I am generally not a fan of Nick but I was hoping this book would change my perspective... it did not. He really thinks he's a gift to his people. His advice wasn't bad but it was very elementary and I personally don't think it needed to be packaged into a book. He's a 40 year old man and doesn't need to be giving teenage girls advice which is exactly what if felt like even though his audience is women 20-35. There were sentences in the book where it sounded like he thought he was ~shocking~ the reader - spoiler alert Nick it is 2022, the concept of casual sex does not ~shock~ us. This is really just a re-branded version of He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys which also should've been a magazine article and not a full book.
Ok, that's all.
Thank you to the publisher for the arc.
October 1, 2022
Four stars for content, two stars for the worst editing maybe ever and, if I could, an extra half star because I actually really like Nick Viall and was excited to read this book.
•
I’ve seen some reviews that accused him of being condescending or “mansplaining” (which is a super annoying term in itself), but I strongly disagree with those assessments.
•
This read like a conversation with a good friend who was really sick of watching me get myself into shitty situations. He watched me try to figure it out myself, I couldn’t get it together, and now it’s time for a heart-to-heart.
•
I also heard some people reference his “trouble” with relationships in the past, as though that made him less qualified to speak on them. Nah. I think that makes him more qualified. He speaks from experience. He paid attention to what worked and what didn’t, learned from it, and is now trying to help others learn from his mistakes. (I may know a thing or two about this.)
•
That all being said, I thought it was going to be a memoir. I’m happily married and didn’t really need this book, but it was nice to get an update on how ol’ Nick is doing, as I don’t watch much TV and only saw him briefly on Bachelor in Paradise like six years ago. He seems happy. And he seems confident, which is why I think some people get an “I’m cooler than you” vibe from the book. Meh. Nick Viall IS cooler than me, so I wasn’t offended.
•
I do hope the editing was fixed in the final copy. That was rough, friend. Tip: you don’t say “quote-unquote” in print. You just use our old friends, the quotation marks. I was very close to volunteering my own editing services, but wasn’t quite sure who to call. The poor editing is distracting and the message he’s sending deserves better delivery.
•
Overall, I enjoyed the book. Wish I had had it back in my single days, but better late than never. Fun read, pick it up - especially if you’re single.
•
Thanks to Nick Viall, Abrams, and Netgalley for the ARC in return for my honest review.
•
I’ve seen some reviews that accused him of being condescending or “mansplaining” (which is a super annoying term in itself), but I strongly disagree with those assessments.
•
This read like a conversation with a good friend who was really sick of watching me get myself into shitty situations. He watched me try to figure it out myself, I couldn’t get it together, and now it’s time for a heart-to-heart.
•
I also heard some people reference his “trouble” with relationships in the past, as though that made him less qualified to speak on them. Nah. I think that makes him more qualified. He speaks from experience. He paid attention to what worked and what didn’t, learned from it, and is now trying to help others learn from his mistakes. (I may know a thing or two about this.)
•
That all being said, I thought it was going to be a memoir. I’m happily married and didn’t really need this book, but it was nice to get an update on how ol’ Nick is doing, as I don’t watch much TV and only saw him briefly on Bachelor in Paradise like six years ago. He seems happy. And he seems confident, which is why I think some people get an “I’m cooler than you” vibe from the book. Meh. Nick Viall IS cooler than me, so I wasn’t offended.
•
I do hope the editing was fixed in the final copy. That was rough, friend. Tip: you don’t say “quote-unquote” in print. You just use our old friends, the quotation marks. I was very close to volunteering my own editing services, but wasn’t quite sure who to call. The poor editing is distracting and the message he’s sending deserves better delivery.
•
Overall, I enjoyed the book. Wish I had had it back in my single days, but better late than never. Fun read, pick it up - especially if you’re single.
•
Thanks to Nick Viall, Abrams, and Netgalley for the ARC in return for my honest review.
September 27, 2022
I was actually taken by surprise at how many things he wrote about that made me stop and think. Whether people want to admit it or not his perspective is insightful. You don’t have to be dating or single to read this either. There’s a lot of advice in it that could be helpful for you if you know of someone who is single or dating. I appreciated Nicks perspective and honesty. It will make me focus on certain things over others while continuing to date.
September 30, 2022
ARC BOOK REVIEW // DON’T TEXT YOUR EX HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Pub Date: October 4, 2022
“True success in love is found by refusing to settle”
If you’re a diehard Bachelor Nation fan (like I am!) you know that Nick Viall is not a stranger to the franchise - he, like ALLLL of us has endured heartbreak, rejection, and left wondering “what the heck just happened to my relationship?”
As someone who Is currently single, I related to MANY topics addressed in this book – I appreciated how Nick talked in length about how being single is OKAY, and the pressure society puts on single women AND men to “hurry up and get married”
And completely unrelated to the book, a recent study exposed that Dallas has more cheaters per captia than any other U.S city….pray for me, ya’lll…or better yet: Nick can you get me on The Bachelor?!
If I learned anything from this book is you gotta be willing to TRY and put in the work to find a lasting relationship – so In the words of Hilary Duff “why not take a crazy chance?”
I also really liked how this book was written from a man’s perspective – Nick did a great job of being real and most importantly, brutally HONEST about what certain situations REALLY mean, and the best course of action to take to avoid a potentially heartbreaking circumstance
My favorite part of this book were the text message style Q&A that were placed at the end of each chapter – Nick did not hold back in speaking in his mind, and basically reiterated to WALK AWAY from ANY relationship (or situationship) that is toxic or is quite honestly no longer making YOU happy
Another takeaway was, YOU are In control of your feelings and ultimately what YOU want out of a relationship
I most DEFINTELY would recommend this book is all my fellow single ladies out there!
Thank you to @netgalley and @abramsbooks for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review
Pub Date: October 4, 2022
“True success in love is found by refusing to settle”
If you’re a diehard Bachelor Nation fan (like I am!) you know that Nick Viall is not a stranger to the franchise - he, like ALLLL of us has endured heartbreak, rejection, and left wondering “what the heck just happened to my relationship?”
As someone who Is currently single, I related to MANY topics addressed in this book – I appreciated how Nick talked in length about how being single is OKAY, and the pressure society puts on single women AND men to “hurry up and get married”
And completely unrelated to the book, a recent study exposed that Dallas has more cheaters per captia than any other U.S city….pray for me, ya’lll…or better yet: Nick can you get me on The Bachelor?!
If I learned anything from this book is you gotta be willing to TRY and put in the work to find a lasting relationship – so In the words of Hilary Duff “why not take a crazy chance?”
I also really liked how this book was written from a man’s perspective – Nick did a great job of being real and most importantly, brutally HONEST about what certain situations REALLY mean, and the best course of action to take to avoid a potentially heartbreaking circumstance
My favorite part of this book were the text message style Q&A that were placed at the end of each chapter – Nick did not hold back in speaking in his mind, and basically reiterated to WALK AWAY from ANY relationship (or situationship) that is toxic or is quite honestly no longer making YOU happy
Another takeaway was, YOU are In control of your feelings and ultimately what YOU want out of a relationship
I most DEFINTELY would recommend this book is all my fellow single ladies out there!
Thank you to @netgalley and @abramsbooks for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review
August 29, 2023
I’m giving this five stars for the chapters on situationships alone because I REALLY needed to read them!! I’ve been on the lookout for a while for a relationship book that discusses situationships, and when this book popped up on my TikTok feed literally on my ex’s birthday, it seemed like kismet. The book felt like a fresher, more modern “He’s Just Not That Into You,” and I’m really glad it’s joined the literary canon. I appreciated Nick’s experience on the other side of the dating scene and thought he was empathic, deeply considered, and unafraid to pull important punches. I also really liked the way he framed gratitude. I got a lot out of reading this book!!
October 5, 2022
As a long time fan of "the Viall files", Nick's podcast, I was looking forward to the book since he announced this.
Nick has a way of simplifying and making sense of the most complicated situations or rather "situation-ships" that can only come from a lifetime of experiences. And I love that he's clear about it! He is crystal clear on page 1 itself that he is not a "therapist" or an "expert".
Loved this. This is a really MUST HAVE for every person in their 20s and 30s (or any age rather) navigating the world of modern dating.
Nick has a way of simplifying and making sense of the most complicated situations or rather "situation-ships" that can only come from a lifetime of experiences. And I love that he's clear about it! He is crystal clear on page 1 itself that he is not a "therapist" or an "expert".
Loved this. This is a really MUST HAVE for every person in their 20s and 30s (or any age rather) navigating the world of modern dating.
September 28, 2022
An enlightening, empowering, honest, real insight on love, communication, and relationships focusing on what you want and how you navigate social situations honestly and intentionally. Filled with tools to help you control your controllables and manage time spent in unfulfilling relationships.
December 7, 2022
am I embarrassed i read this book? yes. but i have book goals to reach and exes to get over so here we are. it was repetitive and surface level but i did have some lightbulb moments. in my self help era plz send book recs
August 23, 2023
I enjoy Nick Viall's dating podcast The Viall Files, and this book is like an extension of the pod! Some of the dating advice in the book is basic, but Nick provides a lot of good reminders here: Some of the sentiments seem basic but are the kinds of things we need to tell ourselves over and over.
I liked the Q&A with Nick sections as they emulate the podcast and add some personality to the book.
Nick's voice really comes through in this book. Some readers might find the tone pandering, but I found it friendly. If you like the pod, you'll probably like the book.
The grammar nerd in me must share that this book needed more judicious editing! It has a healthy helping of typos. I also thought it was odd that Nick references other parts of the book by page number within the text; I read the book straight through so that was unnecessary. And the book also doesn't have an index; the parenthetical references to different sections would really only make sense if the book also had an index.
I liked the Q&A with Nick sections as they emulate the podcast and add some personality to the book.
Nick's voice really comes through in this book. Some readers might find the tone pandering, but I found it friendly. If you like the pod, you'll probably like the book.
The grammar nerd in me must share that this book needed more judicious editing! It has a healthy helping of typos. I also thought it was odd that Nick references other parts of the book by page number within the text; I read the book straight through so that was unnecessary. And the book also doesn't have an index; the parenthetical references to different sections would really only make sense if the book also had an index.
October 21, 2022
Nick Viall is a genius. I will definitely be referencing this as I try to navigate dating in a new way and look back on past situations. Also I highly recommend the audio book because Nick narrates it and his voice is *chefs kiss*.
November 12, 2025
(2.5) felt like a slap to the face (in a good way)
May 12, 2025
Honestly I loved it. I related to his advice so much and appreciated the hard truths he has to share.
October 10, 2022
I'm probably one of the rare Bachelor fans that has *always* liked Nick Viall because he seemed smart and actually interested in finding a healthy relationship. I've listened to his podcast since Day 1 and enjoyed his questions with Nick on instagram. So I was really excited for this book - and it didn't disappoint. This will be the 'He's just not that into you' of the 2020's. Many of the concepts were already familiar to me because of following him for so long, but there were also many new things that I really enjoyed. Definitely a good read for anyone trying to navigate dating and relationships.
October 9, 2022
Wow. I have never read a “self-help” book and immediately thought “I want to re-read this ASAP”. This book was fantastic and a must-read for anyone navigating relationships.
October 16, 2022
more magazine than book
October 26, 2022
Why did I buy this for $9.99
November 11, 2022
Okay his dating advice is next level
December 12, 2022
This was a book that I read
February 21, 2023
I’ve been an occasional listener of nick’s podcast where he gives advice for years and have found myself so shocked and impressed by his responses, with emotional maturity you wouldn’t expect from a bachelor alumni.
I’ve been avoiding reading this book since it came out because I knew it would have advice I wasn’t ready to hear. I was right.
Only criticism is sometimes he doesn’t know how social media works if you’re not an influencer.
I’ve been avoiding reading this book since it came out because I knew it would have advice I wasn’t ready to hear. I was right.
Only criticism is sometimes he doesn’t know how social media works if you’re not an influencer.
January 14, 2025
As much as I enjoy the podcast, I was a little disappointed in the book. I would've given it fewer stars but couldn't make myself, since I seem to spend so much time with Nick and his household. The podcast covers more areas of advice that seem applicable to situations other than dating, while this one as the title indicates is very focused. I am perhaps not its target audience!!
December 31, 2024
Listen, the guy’s not Proust: he splits the infinitive, misuses “reactionary”, and is guilty of the millennial sin of overzealously using “literally”. HOWEVER, I came away from this with good advice, a sense of clarity on where I am in life, and found myself in better spirits once I finished! If you’re curious, doesn’t hurt to check it out.
Read
June 28, 2025You know, I’m not mad at it. And I was ready to be.
April 21, 2023
Are you wanting to read a book by a cis straight white dude who thinks he knows more than you? Then this is your book!
Read
January 3, 2024Just stick with his podcast
January 25, 2024
I knew I was not the intended audience for this book, so naturally most of it was not applicable for me. I enjoy Nick’s podcast, so I figured I would enjoy this book, and I did! While I don’t agree with all of it, I think there’s some great principles here about setting boundaries and navigating relationships. I enjoyed how he talked about the difference between pet peeves & non-negotiables. I wouldn’t recommend this book to very many people to be honest, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to Christians, but I enjoyed what I got out of it.
October 6, 2022
Honestly 2.5… but I love Nick. His podcast is funny! None of this really applied to me as a married woman, but I suppose some of it could work for dating people. I think he tried too hard to be “politically/socially correct” and it came off weird for a 40 yr old guy. 😂 overall I don’t think I would recommend it but I’ll keep the ebook
December 19, 2022
Great book! Listen on an audiobook and was able to always hold my attention while driving. Great stories, sometimes funny but felt like “advice” which is what was interesting. The way it was written felt casual enough that it was information that could come from a bunch of friends sharing their experiences on all things dating, but all in one entertaining book!
December 25, 2022
I read this book since I'm a Bachelor fan and wanted to hear what Nick Viall had to say. I've never listened to his podcast, however this felt like relationship advice consolidated from parts of the podcast. His dating advice was funny and you definitely need to take it with a grain of salt... it's just one person's opinion on what you should/should not do in dating.
March 14, 2023
I read this book because I’m a fan of Nick’s podcast and the bachelor, but can honestly say this is such an amazing dating advice book. Nick tells it like it is, bluntly and honestly, and that’s what we all need to hear in the modern dating era. Would have loved this book a year ago…many tears could have been avoided over fuckboys
January 1, 2023
Cute, a little repetitive. He does really enforce the "set clear expectations and boundaries, and be honest with yourself" in a lot of different situations, though. Overall, I liked it and will pass it on to other girlfriends 🙂
Displaying 1 - 30 of 281 reviews