When the Dark Spoke to Me

by Christabelle Marbun

A profound poetry collection shrouded in tenderness and empathy, created to comfort the growing pains we all experience in life.

Teen breakout poet Christabelle Grace Marbun brings her latest collection When the Dark Spoke to Me  to life through words wise beyond her years. Her uniquely positive perspective on life, death, and everything in between makes this book equally as comforting as it is compelling. Marbun’s exceptional thoughtfulness is evident in every word she pens––her messages of hope and her effortless optimism are sure to inspire every person who touches this book.

Genres: Poetry, Audiobook, Mental Health

272 pages, Paperback

Published October 11, 2022

Reviews

[Ann-Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

"At this point, authentic happiness seems far more artificial than faking it."

The whole collection is divided into 5 chapters (the last one is also subdivided into 2 more). I will try to go briefly through all:

Death:

First thing you should know is that the whole chapter is a HUGE trigger warning (topics of death and suicide in a very explicit way). I read somewhere that "you feel so much, 'cause you are so much". That sentence feels a pretty right description of the way the author hits you right in the face
with problematic nature of grief and loss, and coping with feelings, and persevering, and keep living despite the trauma.

Madness:

The writer deals with topics of relationships with parents and experience of getting pressured as a child. What I find the most heart-hitting is how each poem exists on the edge between greatness and childishness, almost as if tangible inexperience slowly changes into awareness and maturity.

Love:

Here we have the transition from very dark and hard topics to lighter (yet still complicated) ones. You could notice impulsive and irrational decisions that were made, and a few psychological dive-ins (a sentence "the moment pain became generational" completely got me).

Threshold and Requiem:

The conclusion, where we observe searching for healing and light, and finding healthy ways of moving on.

In general, even though I've had a few issues here and there, and a few poems and drawings (which are great by the way) are not really my taste, I believe it is one of the strongest debut poetry collections I have read in a while. The words chosen are simple, yet striking. The teenage maximalism borders with adult issues and solutions. This book deals with so many topics in such blatant way that makes it almost immaculate. Christabelle Marbun is now on my radar for a good poetry.

[jagodasbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Stories, they end all the time right? The end"

This book deals with really heavy topics, but does this in a beautiful way. Definitely check tw. Writing style is very good, couldn't stop reading. 4/5⭐

"So tell me, how does one unalign the stars?"

Thank you NetGalley for providing digital advanced copy in exchange for honest review.

[Lia Strange · Rating 3 out of 5]

" i don't miss you.
i don't look for you in songs,
i don't think of your voice anymore,
and i don't look through our pictures.
but on some days, i still get your order at the coffe shop because i'm bot quite ready to let you go"


menos mal que lo leí ahora que estoy mas estable mentalmente y no en el 2020/2021

[⋆｡‧˚ʚ Emma ɞ˚‧｡⋆ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Remember to read the trigger warnings that are so kindly provided in the beginning of the book.

I felt like the order of the chapters depicted a kind of “stages of grief” with the hurt, anger and finally the healing.

Like with most poetry collections some poems stood out and some didn’t. One I liked in particular was:
“I hope you know that your soul is so beautiful to me that I consider it to be art.”
Also the little “;” at the last page huuurt!

3,5*

Thanks to NetGalley and Andrew McMeel Publishing for letting me read this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Cherlynn | cherreading · Rating 2 out of 5]

✨ "The complicated aspect of healing is the idea that pain is all you really deserve."

This was not for me at all. Suicide ideation is a huge theme throughout the book but not reflected in the synopsis, though I appreciate the author's raw honesty and being privy to her thoughts. What left me feeling turned off and uncomfortable was how death is romanticised in a way that goes beyond processing one's experiences/emotions. Instead, they come across as harmful and damaging (just my personal interpretation).

The rest of the collection is just as dark and heavy, examining topics such as parental abuse, toxic relationships, unrequited love and mental illness. Unlike what the synopsis claims, there was no "uniquely positive perspective" or "effortless optimism", and it was far from "comforting".

There were a few poems that I liked but most were 'instapoetry style' which I'm not a fan of. I hate giving something so personal a low rating but I truly did not vibe with this book.

Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and Netgalley for an ARC of this book.

[Chelsea (2_girls_bookin_it) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I luckily received an ARC of When the Dark Spoke to Me by Christabelle Marbun through NetGalley. This is a book of poetry that dives into abuse, relationships, and mental health.

Despite the author's young age (Christabelle is a teenager), she is able to put what many have experienced in life into words. While a lot of what the author has experienced is not something I've personally dealt with, there are many poems that I still really connected with.

While there are many poems in this book that I hope you get a chance to read, please be aware that a lot of this poetry is based on suicidal ideation and abuse. While many people can connect with these poems, it's important to remember that your mental health is important and you may not necessarily be in a place to read these poems right now.

Overall, I give When the Dark Spoke to Me 3.75 ⭐.

[Holly Leemaster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh. So good and lovely and ethereal. It's like she took pages out of my own head. One of my favorites:

"How many more times must the world fall on me before it realizes that it created me to be mortal? - A SOUL LIKE ATLAS"

[Nicholas Tamouridis Poet · Rating 5 out of 5]

With well over 250 poems, this is a very powerful 4 star collection for me, but I’m going to rate it 5 stars today as it pains me in my gut beyond words to see the average rating well below 4. This work of art displays a truly unique perspective like no other on the themes which simmer on the minds of many daily. Creatively layed out, and a strong reflection of the writer’s ability to observe, think outside the box of social conditioning. Wisdom beyond her years in every letter as she paints the words pouring from her heart and soul onto paper. I really love how she’s layed out her chapters tailoring her own definitions of the themes she focuses on in each of the five chapters. This is truly an important reflection of teenagers and their transition to becoming young adults. Well done Christabelle Marbun and well done to Andrew’s McMeel publishing! On that note, Andrews McMeel, I hope you accept my poetry collection titled ‘Life is a chaise’ as I feel I’d be a nice fit also for 2023!

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I immediately listened to this again.

This collection has me sobbing. There are so many poems that are worth showcasing, but this one gutted me:
“Take care of her,” Life said gently.
“Of course, my dear, I always do.” Death smiled.
Life gave a sad smile.
“I’m sorry I won this time.” said Death,
“It’s all right,” Life smiled, “I don’t mind losing to you, my love.”

 I listened on Scribd, but will be buying a physical copy for my shelves.

[Simona · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I've got this book from NetGalley in exchange of an honest review*

After I found out how young the author is I now can appreciate how mature this peotry collection is. The author has a huge potential and I'm interested to see what she will write next.
What stopped me from giving a higher rating was how depressing majority of poems were. First chapter especially, felt like it even romanticised the subject that is discussed in it (please read the trigger warning, before starting this book).
As a person who struggles with a mental health services issues, I wouldn't recommend this book to everyone. I think the person must be in a good place mentally, before picking this collection up.

[Melissa Melfessity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this may actually be one of the darkest poetry collections I have read. Very heavy on suicidal content and death. I think the author does a great job of convenying such dark and heavy headspaces and life events but also please do be aware of this before going into it. Your mental health comes first. Beyond the content warning aspect, I loved it. LOVED IT. It takes a level of vulnerability to read such raw poetry and to relate to some of them, but it's also a nice feeling of being seen. I recommend it!

[Erika Sarutobi · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

RTC

[I hate it here · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75

[andie z (amzreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was beautifully read and I'm really glad I listened to the audiobook, it added a lot to my overall enjoyment. Some of the poems had music in the background or certain lines echoed, and it all really enhanced the experience.

Most of the poems were pretty sad, with a general heaviness, but they weren't bleak. There was a hopeful feeling to the collection as a whole, and it ended on a very satisfying note.

This one is especially impressive considering how young the author is, and I definitely recommend it for poetry lovers! Do pay attention to the trigger warnings before reading.

Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy! All thoughts are my own.

[Paige (lazylesbianauthor) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“the breaking of skin followed by the sting of childhood memories is often the kind of euphoric pain that cannot be defeated”

firstly thank you to netgalley and christabelle for a copy of this arc. pub date: 11 Oct 22

there were few pieces I didn’t connect too. everything is so full of emotion, I can’t seem to find appropriate words to describe how this book has made me feel; sad, hurt, full, empty, hollow. reading these poems made me feel seen, understood. i was inspired. inspired to start writing poetry again, painful as that has been. i have saved many passages and have continued to go back to them. i really don’t know how to write how I feel but I want everyone to buy this when it’s released, I know I will be!

[mas · Rating 3 out of 5]

i did enjoy much of it and felt deeply while reading a lot of the poems in this collection, however there were some poems in this i just can't say that to and those really impacted the overall experience of reading this. they felt like cringy fillers in the midst of many beautiful works. but yes apart from that, the writer has definitely poured their soul into much of the poems and I am grateful to have read them.

Thankyou Netgalley for the ARC.

[Monica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went into this book completely unaware of the background of this author. She’s young. In fact, she is a well established child actor in Indonesia. And at 18 years old, this isn’t even her first published collection of poetry. Here I am pushing 40 struggling to keep up with my review schedule and this person has a couple books and over 100 movies under her belt. So says the blurb on her newest book’s Amazon page, though a quick google search does not confirm that claim. Still, even one movie and a pile of poetry is an accomplishment for anyone. Good for her!

When the Dark Spoke to Me begins with a trigger warning. This book contains themes of Death and suicidal ideation, reader discretion advised. As a person who often thinks about death and suicide, this was appreciated. Sometimes you just don’t want to deal with those themes and that’s okay.

Sometimes though, I’m feeling numb and want to feel something, so I read stuff that may break my heart. Sometimes I want that.

Unfortunately this is not what I was hoping. I read reviews that said it reads like it was written by someone wise behind their years, but I’m not seeing it. It reads very much like it was written by a teenager, because it was. Reading this reminded me of reading my old Livejournal posts. Cringe city. There’s a whole section addressed to Death, referring to Death as her first love that reminds me of being a teenager and exploring darker themes while learning to cope with depression.

There are also glimmers of…something. She is asking questions and writing her way to the answers she seeks. There’s one called The Gifted Kid Burnout that sets the stage for the rest of the collection. You can tell she is trying so hard not to burn out while processing her trauma at the same time.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. It’s not bad. I think younger readers in the same stage of their lives as the author would find this collection more relatable.

Big thanks to Christabelle Marbun, Andrews McMeel Publishing, and NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. You can buy When the Dark Spoke to Me, by Christabelle Marbun on Amazon in multiple formats beginning October 11.

[بيان القارئة · Rating 5 out of 5]

When the dark spoke to me is a poetry book in which the author speaks of death, darkness, love and parental relationships. I was greatly affected by this book, it was not an easy read, which is why I decided to pick up the audiobook, and it was very helpful for me to get to ending of the book, although it was really short and fast, the words were heavy, it takes someone with certain experience to understand what heavy here means.

The labeling on this book is a little misleading though, it's more ya poetry to be honest, adults will not relate to this in general, in my opinion, don’t ask why I relate to it.

I genuinely suffered in understanding what the pronouns meant, in some parts the author said I, and others the author said she, and not that the pronouns matter, I just couldn't link if we were speaking about the narrator or not.

The book was separated into five chapters, the last one separated into two parts, each chapter spoke of a different topic, the chapters were named: Death, Madness, Love, Threshold and Requiem.

I would most definitely look up trigger warnings before picking up this book, the first two chapters are dark, but the last two chapters are sort of healing. I did not take this book lightly to be honest, and there were quotes that hit spots I never wanted touched, but it was a good read in general.

[Sam Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, I am really thankful to Andrew McMeel Publishing / Audio, Christabelle Marbun, and NetGalley for allowing me to listen to this advanced copy prior to its publication date of October 11th. Lately, I'm always in the mood for LISTENING to poetry collections because it's like sweet syrup being poured right into my senses and I feel it more deeply.

***** TRIGGER WARNING - TALK OF SUICIDE - ************

I was able to feel the author's emotional experiences so deeply, suffering her losses of life, relationships, and even run-ins with death. She was hurting at a time when she wanted to just end it all, and meet Death at her front doorstep. The author walks us through her recovery, coping mechanisms, and the external stressors that added to her madness.

As the reader/listener, I felt like I was one of the warmer voices circulating around in her mind, begging her to keep fighting and stay alive, while I knew I was combatting the darker thoughts that were listed on every page. We come to a relieving conclusion with Christabelle realizing that she can power through and defeat her demons, but many don't meet that final step.

The National Suicide Hotline is available if you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal:https://988lifeline.org/

[Natalie D.C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

~Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review~
a soft, grim poetry collection about life, love and the alluring nature of death and darkness. as a fellow death-obsessed angst-ridden teenager, i felt this collection would be right up my alley (i mean LOOK at that cover). while i adored the little illustrations throughout, the various forms the pieces take on and (specifically) the line "i envy the daughters who had the chance to hold their father's hand without the fear that he might never let go," i felt the entire collection was lacking. the "poems" were simply a bunch of strung-together lines that barely had any connection to one another and the language overall was vague, repetitive and shallow, causing the story to suffer as a result. there's definitely some potential here for a story about a lost and lonely girl on a path to forgiveness and recovery who falls in and out of love with Death. unfortunately, for the time being, this is one of the weaker poetry collections i've read so far.

[Sumbal M · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful rendition of poetry focusing on topics like heartache, death and dysfunctional families.

Tw: for topics with suicidal ideation and death. If you do read this book, please take caution.

Marbun implements a beautiful yet morbid tone through the characterisation of a young character who is contemplating their life before their suicide.

Each chapter plays a part to the stages and goodbyes the character takes heed in before their taking their own life and joining with death. Death in a way Is metaphorically idealised as good and kind and as a way of freeing oneself from the pain of hardship of life. On the flip side the author does discuss the intricacies and happy moments that life can offer to individuals and it holds out as a hope for living life to its truest potential. I really enjoyed this piece of poetry.

The cover is beautiful and I would highly recommend to give this short story a try.

Thank you to Netgalley for this audio ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Sumbal M · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful rendition of poetry focusing on topics like heartache, death and dysfunctional families.

Tw: for topics with suicidal ideation and death.

If you do read this book, please take caution.

Marbun implements a beautiful yet morbid tone through the characterisation of a young character who is contemplating their life before their suicide.

Each chapter plays a part to the stages and goodbyes the character takes heed in before their taking their own life and joining with death. Death in a way Is metaphorically idealised as good and kind and as a way of freeing oneself from the pain of hardship of life. On the flip side the author does discuss the intricacies and happy moments that life can offer to individuals and it holds out as a hope for living life to its truest potential.

I really enjoyed this piece of poetry. The cover is beautiful and I would highly recommend to give this short story a try.

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I slashed around in the dark, fearing something would hurt me.
Finally, after blindly cutting the darkness, I hit something. I thought it was over; the monster was gone. But instead, I felt my arms sting, I heard droplets hit the floor dense and heavy with guilt.
The familiar scent of iron caught me off guard.
I sat in silence, now realizing this was what I was meant for all this time. The girl who became friends with the darkness by giving her life to it.” p.11

“I sat once again in my bed,
A place I've seen myself die many times, And yet, She does not come for me.” p.14

“I used to find refuge in sleeping;
it made me forget for just a couple hours. But over time, my dreams betrayed me, and my nightmares found a way to replicate my reality.” p.55

“I have come to have peace with the fact that sometimes,
simply loving each other is not enough.” p.151

“Depression became my partner, it became a friend I never asked for.
But through all the times I've been hurt, it stayed. It was the only consistent thing I knew. So I learned to care for it, and eventually, live with it.” p.196

[sinag · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 stars!

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

cw: suicide, suicidal ideations

This book made me cry in the middle of the night and I didn't expect it! As someone who grew up in an unstable family situation and is a former suicidal, this book unexpectedly resonated with me and I don't know if I hated it for that or I commend the author for articulating it so well. This book called me out, called my parents out, called everyone that hurt me out, and I just don't know what to feel. The writing style is so direct to the point that it feels like it is a slap or a hug, at least to me. This is the first in a long time where a poetry book made me feel so much. I highly recommended this one, but please take note of the content warning because this one is very heavy on that subject matter.

[Seher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you, NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing, for the chance to read and review this ARC!

The concept behind Christabelle Marbun's poetry collection is pretty good, and the book started off on a promising note! So it was rather disappointing to see that it wasn't s carried through properly. The first part of the book was easily the best. The idea of slowly falling in love with Death was pretty cool. Of course, it is slightly dark because Death wins over life in the end. Please remember to keep the trigger warnings in mind when reading this book.

The rest of the book was unmemorable; this review would be a half-star higher if it had never been there.

I can see many of these poems doing well on Tumblr or Instagram, but as a book, the author should have edited out her pieces and kept ones that fit better.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

'When the Dark Spoke to Me' is a truly touching and heartfelt poetry collection. Marburn displays such vulnerability with each piece it is impossible not to be moved.

This collection displays the poet's take on life and death, the relationship between trauma and the way we grow, the lightness and heaviness of love, and coming to terms with and healing from all these deeply emotional journeys.

While this body of work is incredibly communicated and ultimately positive, I encourage all potential readers to check trigger warnings first as some of the heavier topics— especially communicated in such a raw and artful way— may be difficult for some readers.

Ultimately, as someone mostly on the other side of many of the struggles touched on within this collection, 'When the Dark Spoke to Me' resonated with me so beautifully that I was moved to tears more than once.

[Jorden · Rating 4 out of 5]

*ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

This was a poetry collection I related to a lot and they were definitely moments that I felt seen. The writing throughout most of it was beautiful and I loved the metaphors used throughout. I think this is a collection that anyone who has struggled with identity or depression could appreciate but please be sure to check trigger warnings before reading.

My one quip is that I think that some poems should have been either completely scrapped or been reworked. Some of them felt very much like “tumblr poetry” without being evolved enough to for me to take it more seriously.

Overall I think this is definitely worth the read I just had some minor issues.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a solid poetry collection about death, suicide ideation, and one’s darkness. It was good but I didn’t fall in love with it. A few poems resonated with me, but the rest just seemed to fall flat. I found the first quarter of the collection (under the theme of ‘death’) to be somewhat redundant, overdone, and repetitive. That being said, I still enjoyed the poems in that section but not enough to want to reread them. When the Dark Spoke to Me was a valiantly good effort, the poems were simple and straight to the point and filled with pain and experience yet not overly dramatic. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[S · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a solid poetry collection about death, suicide ideation, and one’s darkness. It was good but I didn’t fall in love with it. A few poems resonated with me, but the rest just seemed to fall flat. I found the first quarter of the collection (under the theme of ‘death’) to be somewhat redundant, overdone, and repetitive. That being said, I still enjoyed the poems in that section but not enough to want to reread them. When the Dark Spoke to Me was a valiantly good effort, the poems were simple and straight to the point and filled with pain and experience yet not overly dramatic. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Whitney · Rating 4 out of 5]

////ARC RECEIVED FROM NETGALLEY IN EXCHANGE FOR HONEST REVIEW////

Thank you Netgallley for the ARC.

"Depression became my partner, it became a friend I never asked for. But through all the times I've been hurt, it stayed. It was the only consistent thing I knew. So I learned to care for it, and eventual, live with it."

While the subject matter is dark, this was a beautiful collection of poetry by Christabelle Marbum. It was and especially mature collection of poems for someone so young. I am eager to watch her grow as a writer and poet. I didn't connect to all her poems but there were many pieces that spoke to me and my experiences struggling with depression.