A Year with Anthony De Mello: Waking Up Week by Week (2)

by Anthony de Mello

Finally, an Anthony De Mello book designed just like the famous workshops De Mello conducted in the 1980s at Fordham University .
 
The book's binding allows the book to open fully for the pages to lay flat, making it easy to journal and to complete the simple worksheets and exercises.

The Promise Anthony (Tony) De Mello Makes:  "I can promise you this," Tony said in opening his workshop.  "I have not known a single person who gave time to being aware in this way who didn't see a difference in a matter of weeks. The quality of your life changes, so you don't have to take it on faith anymore. You see it; you're different. You react differently. In fact, you react less and act more. You see things you've never seen before. You're much more energetic, much more alive. You lose your fear of failure, your tensions about succeeding, you will be yourself. Relaxed. You will gaze out at the world and say, My, how different everything looks."
 
The Breakthough into Happiness:  We have all been programmed to seek happiness outside of ourselves—seized through great effort from an unpredictable world—and then to become upset and self-condemning when our effort fails to realize its promise of fulfillment, which it always fails to do. This is not to say that success isn't a reasonable pursuit, but it cannot give us happiness. Nothing of the world can.

Why? Because we have it already.

The happiness, peace, and love that defines fulfillment are already yours, encoded in your spiritual DNA. They are not earned or acquired. They live in you as you to be expressed through you. The only effort needed is really no effort at all; it's a matter of seeing and then dropping a set of false beliefs blocking you.

A Year with Anthony De Mello is a week-by-week workshop of fifty-two passages gleamed from  De Mello's workshops.  It is suggested you go week by week, but you can move through the sections at whatever pace works best for you. 
 
Each week's passage is followed by a favorite parable or koan Anthony admired to illuminate the passage, and each week there are two simple but engaging exercises to actualize the week's teaching.  Following each week's section is a number of lined, blank pages for journaling about your own insights during the week.

Genres: Spirituality, Devotional

336 pages, Hardcover

Published December 6, 2022

About the author

Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who became widely known for his books on spirituality. An internationally acclaimed spiritual guide, writer and public speaker, de Mello hosted many spiritual conferences.

The few talks which he allowed to be filmed, such as "A Rediscovery of Life" and "A Way to God for Today," have inspired many viewers and audiences throughout the United States, Canada, and Central America. De Mello established a prayer center in India. He died suddenly in 1987. His works are readily available and additional writings were published after his death.

In 1998, some of his opinions were condemned by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who later became Pope Benedict XVI, wrote for the Congregation:
"But already in certain passages in [his] early works and to a greater degree in his later publications, one notices a progressive distancing from the essential contents of the Christian faith. ... With the present Notification, in order to protect the good of the Christian faithful, this Congregation declares that the above-mentioned positions are incompatible with the Catholic faith and can cause grave harm."

Some editions of his books have since been supplemented with the insertion of a caution:
"The books of Father Anthony de Mello were written in a multi-religious context to help the followers of other religions, agnostics and atheists in their spiritual search, and they were not intended by the author as manuals of instruction of the Catholic faithful in Christian doctrine or dogma."

Reviews

[andreicareads ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Will definitely reread the book to answer the questions but now didn’t want to write in it. 😁

[Larada Horner-Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Savor DeMello!

Going through the year with insightful readings of DeMello filled my days with wonder & stretched me as a person and a Christian. He’s timeless, but beware—he will make you think!

[T. Laane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d like a version only with De Mellos speech, it’s such high quality here. I’d cut the “new” author out totally :)
But some ideas from De Mello:
Problems are created by your own opinions and mental programming. When you are removed from a system, world, or place, the problem ceases to exist because it was rooted in your perspective. A great example is thinking that rain during a picnic is "bad," but in reality, rain is completely neutral—it simply exists. One might even say it is good for the nature.
Be honest with yourself: you often want things, not happiness. People tend to focus on what they lack rather than appreciating what they already have. It’s possible to be happy even if you make a fool of yourself - when you stop caring about others’ opinions, happiness becomes accessible.
Love has always been inside you, just as happiness has. These feelings don’t come from external sources; they are inherent within you. The key is to stop blocking them with negative thoughts or external dependencies.
You should never do charity if it bothers you or feels forced. Helping others should bring you joy and align with your self-interest. When doing good makes you happy, it’s perfectly fine - it’s a win-win situation for both you and those you help.
The author explains that anger doesn’t come from external sources—it’s within the person experiencing it. If someone gets angry at you, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, but rather with them. Anger is their emotion to cope with, and it’s not your responsibility to rescue them. When they slam a book on the table, You don’t have to pick it up for them. You don’t have to go and rescue them.
Those who are most afraid of dying are often the ones most afraid of truly living. Living is not merely keeping

[Mana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Year with Anthony De Mello offers a path to wisdom that we already have but cannot find by ourselves. Anthony De Mello still speaks authentically about spirituality today.
If we want to wake up, is to go in for what he calls Self-Observation. We have to be aware of everything, our saying, doing, thinking, and acting. We should be aware without judgement, or attitude, and change only what we truly understand.

We can reject or accept his statements. So, read this book patiently, week by week, and this will bring us some rich rewards. Also, be prepared for surprises! They have much to tell us about our human nature.
Our efforts will at some future point result in noticing a deeper sense of joy and peace within ourselves and with others,


We revisit the material each day throughout the week, digesting its themes and seeing how it relates to us and our lives.

Excellent guide into our inner spiritual waking-up journey.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

DeMello was a teacher of mine a few decades back when I was just starting my spiritual journey and I was delighted to find this collection of this works. This is a book to be savored slowly and I love how it’s divided into daily readings. This one is going by my bedside and I am treasuring these teachings as if seeing them with new eyes and heart.

Thanks to NetGalley, the editor and publisher for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Annarella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Anthony De Mello's books and always found them thought provoking and interesting.
This is a good book and there's plenty of food for thought.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

[Denise Lambert · Rating 5 out of 5]

another good De Mello work

I could spend hours just writing good reviews of all his books. Easy to read practical exercises that makes change effortlessly fun. I’ll continue to soak up anything by this author

[Melani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parts of this book worked well for me; parts did not.

[Jim Wulpern · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awareness is the Key

Awareness is answer - just see be the I behind the me. All is well. I recommend this book as it points to freedom and peace

[Jean Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

In these days of ubiquitous one-sentence advice memes, sound bite politics and the popularity of quick fixes and easy solutions, it is so refreshing to find a self-help, spiritual book where the reader is instructed to ponder relatively simple concepts for a year—that’s right, a full 52 weeks of intentional self-observation, reflection and slow personal growth. A Year with Anthony DeMello: Waking up Week by Week, is unapologetically counter-cultural and thank goodness for that.

Given its short chapters and conversational writing style, readers might be tempted to skim or speed-read this book in search of philosophical nuggets. They might also be tempted to dismiss as obviously simple, naïve, and out-of-date the teachings of this Jesuit priest, psychologist and retreat master who died in 1987. To do either would be to miss the genius of a man whose blend of Christianity and Eastern mysticism offers seekers radical surprises and personal challenges even as they are delivered in sparse and direct language. DeMello’s premise is this: “People are asleep. They’re living on delusions, on crazy ideas about everything, about love, about relationships, about happiness, about joy, about what the world should be, who they should be, and what they should want. Spirituality is about waking up.”

It is no exaggeration to say DeMello saved my life when I was first clawing my way out of a life defined by co-dependency, the very opposite of the detachment he teaches. (According to the foreword, this is a common experience of DeMello fans from all walks of life and faith traditions.) Though some might fault the circular, anecdotal and dialogical writing style of this author, I found his frequent restatements the only way I could internalize big ideas such as “Begin to question the belief that without money, power, success, approval, a good reputation, romance, friendship, spirituality, or even God, you cannot be happy.”

Another refreshing aspect of this book is DeMello’s humility, apparent when he invites readers to be skeptical of his advice and to do the work of spiritual growth on their own: “Don’t expect that somehow I am going to do it for you. That’s another delusion, that someone else can liberate you. Not even the greatest guru can take a single step for you. It is you who must become aware of the illusions that have been programmed into you that block the truth.”

Especially for those new to DeMello, the foreword suggests multiple readings of the short chapters, and staying open to the possibility of surprises. “On the first reading, you might be amused by the tale. On the second reading, take it deeper. Reflect on it. Apply it to your life. Then read the story a third time after you have reflected on it. Create a silence within yourself and let the story reveal to you its inner depth and meaning that goes beyond words and reflections. This will give you a feel for the mystical.”

I encountered the first of many surprises in week 2 of the year-long, self-guided workshop. (The book is essentially an edited transcript of a DeMello retreat compiled by the DeMello Spirituality Center in New York City.) Even if I believe I am happy, my fears, worries and inner conflicts prove that I am not. Or as the author puts it with typical, unvarnished directness: “Admit that your life is in a mess. Here is the second truth—this is a bit tougher—admit you do not want to get out of the mess.”

“Aren’t we supposed to get upset?” Want a clean, clear, simple answer? Here it is: No! “You mean, not be upset by anything?” That’s right, you heard me. Not by anything! “Oh, please, go away,” they will say. “I don’t want to hear any more of your nonsense.” We’ve been given a theory that says to be upset is to be human. It is not so. ...There’s emptiness staring at you. You’re scared. “You mean, we’re not supposed to be scared?” they will say. “No, you’re not.”

Wow. No telling what insights await me in weeks to come.