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Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires
This fourth wall–breaking middle grade collection of spooky, scary, and spoopy stories for fans of Lemony Snicket and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark might just help you survive the night in a house full of vampires.
If you are reading this book, then you must be trapped in that spooky house with those vampires. Sorry about that.
But! You might just make it out if you manage to tell them one scary story each night in accordance with standard vampire rules. Don’t know any scary stories? Good thing you found this book! Every tale in this tome is true…more or less (more more than less).
You get a little bit of everything in this monster from hitchhiking phantoms to women in white, a carnivore beast that loves a good vacation to a haunted mannequin with a bug problem, killer phones, concerned werewolves, you name it. Everything you need to keep those vampires on the edge of their seats—and well away from your neck.
But beware…don’t get too comfortable. Names have power, and if you whisper about too many things in the dark, they might just hear you.
If you are reading this book, then you must be trapped in that spooky house with those vampires. Sorry about that.
But! You might just make it out if you manage to tell them one scary story each night in accordance with standard vampire rules. Don’t know any scary stories? Good thing you found this book! Every tale in this tome is true…more or less (more more than less).
You get a little bit of everything in this monster from hitchhiking phantoms to women in white, a carnivore beast that loves a good vacation to a haunted mannequin with a bug problem, killer phones, concerned werewolves, you name it. Everything you need to keep those vampires on the edge of their seats—and well away from your neck.
But beware…don’t get too comfortable. Names have power, and if you whisper about too many things in the dark, they might just hear you.
192 pages, Hardcover
Published August 30, 2022
11 people are currently reading
294 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 15, 2022
5 stars because, with ((nearly) almost) absolute certainty, Ben Acker gives a nod to one of my favorite writers, in a short comic crime story featuring a detective named Westlake.
Perfect collection of rewritten scary stories that give just the right twists like what if the phantom hitchiker was - or - what if the evil hand surgery story was .
It's not a requirement, but it can be a bonus when a book tells the reader why the book exists. In this case it is a book that will keep the reader alive because they are trapped in a house with vampires who will start to eat you...unless you keep them entertained with stories. Sort of 1001 Arabian Nights...with more fangs. In this case, there is another great layer, as the short stories start to connect over the course of the volume.
Judge John Hodgman mentioned this book on a recent podcast and it sounded like a great book to pass on to one of the nieces, so I grabbed a copy at Book Shop Santa Cruz. I snuck in a read through before we hand it off today.
Oh...and our new kitten is a biter, so he added some fang marks to the cover. That (sort of (kinda)) seems cute right now, but me (and my library) are worried about that new habit.
Perfect collection of rewritten scary stories that give just the right twists like what if the phantom hitchiker was - or - what if the evil hand surgery story was .
It's not a requirement, but it can be a bonus when a book tells the reader why the book exists. In this case it is a book that will keep the reader alive because they are trapped in a house with vampires who will start to eat you...unless you keep them entertained with stories. Sort of 1001 Arabian Nights...with more fangs. In this case, there is another great layer, as the short stories start to connect over the course of the volume.
Judge John Hodgman mentioned this book on a recent podcast and it sounded like a great book to pass on to one of the nieces, so I grabbed a copy at Book Shop Santa Cruz. I snuck in a read through before we hand it off today.
Oh...and our new kitten is a biter, so he added some fang marks to the cover. That (sort of (kinda)) seems cute right now, but me (and my library) are worried about that new habit.
July 10, 2022
If you grew up loving the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books like I did, this is the delightful modern equivalent. It’s hilarious and clever and just scary enough without being too scary for young readers.
My eight-year-old and I read this together and we both loved it, from the creepy-lite horror to the sly humor that pervades every tale in the book as well as the unifying theme of the collection.
The ending of the very first story was my favorite part of the book, but the quality is consistently good throughout, and I loved how many of the stories are woven together as the book progresses.
And for my fellow Alvin Schwartz fans, there is even a funny and unique take on everybody’s old favorite, The Girl with the Green Ribbon.
A terrifically well done collection sure to thrill both young readers and adults alike.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
My eight-year-old and I read this together and we both loved it, from the creepy-lite horror to the sly humor that pervades every tale in the book as well as the unifying theme of the collection.
The ending of the very first story was my favorite part of the book, but the quality is consistently good throughout, and I loved how many of the stories are woven together as the book progresses.
And for my fellow Alvin Schwartz fans, there is even a funny and unique take on everybody’s old favorite, The Girl with the Green Ribbon.
A terrifically well done collection sure to thrill both young readers and adults alike.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
June 24, 2023
Middle Grade Book of the Year (as chosen by me. Trust me, I am totally authorized to do this)!!! I laughed so hard I cried at these short stories! Unlike most short story collections, the people, places and things in this anthology connect (and they are written by a 12 year old trapped in a vampire lair). The narrator's voice is so great and realistic for a 12 year old boy. The stories are full of scares and laughs! The plot twists are so great I never saw them coming!
If you need a short, hilarious read I highly recommend this book!
Ben Acker, I'm eagerly awaiting a second volume!!
If you need a short, hilarious read I highly recommend this book!
Ben Acker, I'm eagerly awaiting a second volume!!
October 18, 2024
I picked up this short story collection on the strength of author Ben Acker's writing for the Thrilling Adventure Hour podcast / stage show series, and I can confirm there's a similar cleverness propelling many of its loosely interconnected entries and imaginative turns of phrase. (One character, for instance, guns down the associate who double-crossed him "at the Jazz Mill, where they still talk about how it was the bullets he didn't shoot.")
On the other hand, I'm not quite convinced that the work as a whole is well-calibrated for its apparent audience. This is junior horror for the Goosebumps or Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark crowd, with decapitations but no gore, hitchhiking ghosts and summer-camp murderers who are merely spooky figures to run away from, and so on. And that's a perfectly valid genre to explore, but a lot of the twists in this volume are so meta and so referential to specific outside tropes that I just don't think they'd land for anyone who doesn't bring that context to the read, while being largely too tame to satisfy those of us who do. The result feels like it's often struggling to find a distinctive voice for itself, and if you'll forgive the vampire metaphor, I can't imagine it really sinking its teeth into any reader's imagination for long.
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On the other hand, I'm not quite convinced that the work as a whole is well-calibrated for its apparent audience. This is junior horror for the Goosebumps or Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark crowd, with decapitations but no gore, hitchhiking ghosts and summer-camp murderers who are merely spooky figures to run away from, and so on. And that's a perfectly valid genre to explore, but a lot of the twists in this volume are so meta and so referential to specific outside tropes that I just don't think they'd land for anyone who doesn't bring that context to the read, while being largely too tame to satisfy those of us who do. The result feels like it's often struggling to find a distinctive voice for itself, and if you'll forgive the vampire metaphor, I can't imagine it really sinking its teeth into any reader's imagination for long.
Like this review?
--Throw me a quick one-time donation here!
https://ko-fi.com/lesserjoke
--Subscribe here to support my writing and weigh in on what I read next!
https://patreon.com/lesserjoke
--Follow along on Goodreads here!
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/6...
--Or click here to browse through all my reviews!
https://lesserjoke.home.blog
October 12, 2023
I bought this to give to my nephew as a Halloween gift, but decided to read it myself first. Now, I have to order another copy for my nephew, because I really enjoyed it and want to hold on to my copy. Acker’s written a clever and at times laugh out loud funny collection, that I really think all ages can enjoy. I definitely connected with “Another Story in This Very Volume,” which I think anyone who has ever worked in customer service will appreciate.
There’s even an ingenious twist at the end of the book that was wholly original, and I did not see it coming. You should absolutely read these stories in order, as most start to connect with each other eventually.
This one is highly recommended for readers of all ages looking for some spooky fun.
There’s even an ingenious twist at the end of the book that was wholly original, and I did not see it coming. You should absolutely read these stories in order, as most start to connect with each other eventually.
This one is highly recommended for readers of all ages looking for some spooky fun.
June 26, 2023
Yes this book is laugh-out-loud fun like you might expect! The author definitely delivers on themes most people, kids or adults, know from summer camp experiences and typical sleep-over scary stories. Perfect especially for summer when a lighter read is more desirable.
September 27, 2022
Absolutely delightful. Great scary stories (that aren’t tooooo scary) including a few twists on some of the classics. Carries on the tradition of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, but also in the daylight and with a little more humor. All the cleverness you’d expect from Ben Acker - pure joy and love from the dedication to acknowledgements.
Read
November 20, 2022In my unbiased opinion, this book is great. Best ever? Probably. Flawless. I dare you to read it and not feel the same. Read two copies. Read three! Read as many different copies as you can!
November 3, 2022
A collection of spooky stories that is accessible for both young and reluctant readers.
Vampires, hitchhikers, witches, a creepy ventriloquist's dummy, ghosts, and werewolves--author Ben Aker offers all the beasties that readers could want. The stories can be read in order or the reader has the choice to skip around as each story is its own tale.
Reluctant readers will find easy, short stories that will entertain them and give them a sense of accomplishment for reading an entire book (as they are likely to do in the case of this book).
Spooky illustrations by Scott Buonchistiano appear at the beginning of each chapter and chapter titles make it easy for the reader to determine what the story is likely about. Highly recommended for reluctant readers and anyone who loves spooky stories told around the campfire or spooky stories told in the dark.
Grades 4 and up.
Vampires, hitchhikers, witches, a creepy ventriloquist's dummy, ghosts, and werewolves--author Ben Aker offers all the beasties that readers could want. The stories can be read in order or the reader has the choice to skip around as each story is its own tale.
Reluctant readers will find easy, short stories that will entertain them and give them a sense of accomplishment for reading an entire book (as they are likely to do in the case of this book).
Spooky illustrations by Scott Buonchistiano appear at the beginning of each chapter and chapter titles make it easy for the reader to determine what the story is likely about. Highly recommended for reluctant readers and anyone who loves spooky stories told around the campfire or spooky stories told in the dark.
Grades 4 and up.
September 3, 2022
Ben Acker gives us just what we need, some good, fun spooky stories! These are family friendly, funny, and spooky without being to scary for kids, but also not so kid-friendly that they aren’t enjoyable. I’d put this on the bookshelf among Ray Bradbury’s short stories, Ronald Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected, and the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark collection.
So before it’s time to send the little ones to dreamland and set your bedtime stories to spooky... Bolt the door, lock your windows, and steel yourself for this evening's final feature: Stories to Keep You Alive, Despite Vampires!
So before it’s time to send the little ones to dreamland and set your bedtime stories to spooky... Bolt the door, lock your windows, and steel yourself for this evening's final feature: Stories to Keep You Alive, Despite Vampires!
March 28, 2023
I love the title and it totally made me want to read the book. The first story made me laugh out loud! It was very clever as were a lot of the stories! Of course as any short stories goes there was a dud or two but don’t let it deter you. This is a good book. I read it alone as an adult but I can definitely see myself reading this to my kids. One kid in particular loves spooky things but is a bit young still. This would be perfect for them.
September 13, 2022
Great book full of fun and (a little bit) spooky stories. Perfect for your middle school kids or adults who enjoy fun middle school age campfire type stories.
I read this on my own and now I’m reading out loud with the kiddo one story at a time and it’s been a lot of fun to enjoy the stories together
I read this on my own and now I’m reading out loud with the kiddo one story at a time and it’s been a lot of fun to enjoy the stories together
September 27, 2022
Outstanding and Fun
This book is a freaking riot. It’s clever and funny, it’s spooky but not gross. I read part of it to my kids and I can’t wait to read the rest. My expectations were high from years of Thrilling Adventure Hour but this book shattered them. It will be a Halloween tradition.
This book is a freaking riot. It’s clever and funny, it’s spooky but not gross. I read part of it to my kids and I can’t wait to read the rest. My expectations were high from years of Thrilling Adventure Hour but this book shattered them. It will be a Halloween tradition.
September 26, 2022
A very funny, definitely silly collection of scary stories harkening back to urban legends. A parody book that also has its own voice. Big fan of this and I think I can now stay alive despite vampires.
did-not-finish
October 12, 2022I was really enjoying this, but I ran into some content that doesn't mesh well with our Catholic faith so I decided to move on to a book I could potentially share with my children instead of finishing one I know I won't allow them to read. Thanks to Simon & Schuster for the review copy.
February 25, 2023
I wanted to like this because I searh for short stories to share with students. I just found them too silly. Might be great for 3rd grade, but any older I´m not sure the stories would hold their attention. Looking for spooky stories for grades 1-3 - these are they.
February 27, 2023
These stories are a strange and welcome mix of creepy and funny. The tales seem to run in circles, eating themselves, and growing ever wilder in the telling and retelling. They don't end when or where you expect them to!
September 24, 2022
"Diagnosis: Wolf" is basically the perfect story
October 27, 2022
4.5 Equal parts funny and creepy - what a ride! Some really haunting illustrations to accompany the stories. I genuinely laughed out loud many times. I don't know how I feel about the ending, and I can't decide if it's a smidge too creepy for my 3rd grader or not (leaning towards letting him have a go at it.) Overall, a really fun read and cheeky addition to the scary stories/urban legends genre.
December 21, 2022
Cute. Sort of a horror version of Sideways Stories from Wayside School.
February 4, 2023
Tone Perfect
Loved this. Light, with just the right amount of goofy and macabre. Read it with every creepy 10-year-old you know.
Loved this. Light, with just the right amount of goofy and macabre. Read it with every creepy 10-year-old you know.
February 12, 2023
3.5 stars
Very cute twist on the traditional scary stories books! Will definitely share this with the impressionable children in my life.
Very cute twist on the traditional scary stories books! Will definitely share this with the impressionable children in my life.
May 21, 2023
This is a good read for our younger students who like scary or horror stories with a side of humor. A good follow-on book from the Goosebumps, Lemony Snicket series etc
July 6, 2023
Fun, quick read. Not very scary but I love the way all the different story threads come together at the end.
July 12, 2023
Loved how almost all of the stories were connected somehow
September 19, 2023
This had some extremely original takes on classic stories.
October 12, 2023
What a dang cute book. Perfect for October.
May 27, 2024
I was pretty impressed with this.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews