Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and Their Families

by Kevin M. Gilmartin

Dr. Gilmartin is a behavioral scientist who specializes in issues related to law enforcement. With twenty years of police experience under his belt, he currently provides service to the law enforcement community as a consultant. In writing this book, it was his goal to aid officers and their families in maintaining and/or improving their quality of life both personally ad professionally.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Police, Leadership, Research, Crime

189 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2021

About the author

Dr. Kevin Gilmartin spent 20 years as a police officer and during his tenure supervised the Behavioral Sciences Unit and the Hostage Negotiations Team. Dr. Gilmartin holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Arizona and has had his works published by the US Department of Justice and the FBI. He is also a veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps.
Dr. Gilmartin is a guest instructor at the FBI Law Enforcement Academy in Quantico, Virginia and the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center in Glynco, Georgia. He is a faculty member of the FBI Law Enforcement Executive Development Institute, and is retained by several federal law enforcement agency critical response teams.

Reviews

[Rachel Nielsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is recommended reading to my husband's police force and their spouses.
Very interesting read. It talked a lot about something called hypervigilance. Basically when officers are on duty their senses are extremely alert for any possible danger. As a result, when they are off duty their senses are dulled and that can cause problems in their relationships.
It also talks about officers making their career their identity, which also causes problems.

It was all very interesting and it all made sense. However there was only one chapter on what to do to combat the cycle. It talked about how exercise helps. Then basically said don't become a victim and don't make your job your life. It felt a little lopsided, lots of info explaining what officers go through, but not much advice on how to deal with it.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

I suffered all the way through this (thankfully short) book because my husband is in the academy. By the end you’ll be sick of the following words: asshole, magic chair, usta, and hypervigilance rollercoaster. Despite the title of the book, only one of the eight chapters is dedicated to emotional survival, and most of the advice could be summed up in a pamphlet. The main message would apply to any job: it’s a career and you should do a good job, but don’t make it your life.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a helpful little book, but the issue that I have with it is that it assumes a certain stereotype that all cops fit into. The stereotype is helpful for illustrative purposes at times, but it oversimplifies the human psyche.

[Jonathan Schroeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read this before joining the marines. Grateful to be reading it now before starting law enforcement. Absolute essential for anyone going into this field— so many hard lessons condensed into this short book

[Glenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a daughter begins her job as a police officer. Although recommended as a book for the emotional survival of officers and their families, the wisdom included applies to all people. It was easy to imagine the emotional roller coaster which police officers experience in their career from Gilmartin’s description and examples. It was also easy to see how the officers could have put his emotional survival tactics into practice to prevent the sad outcomes described. Of course it is always easy to quarterback from a chair. The challenge always lies in the daily choices and interactions that make up the years of a career. Gilmartin’s book helps with that for both officers and their families.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad my significant other was given this book prior to finishing the academy, we have both read this book, and now we are both working hard to make sure he is an emotional survivor, I'm thankful we were given the chance to learn about this early in his career so he can be an effective officer and have a personal life. The phrase "this is a career, not a crusade" has stuck with us both.

[Isaac Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that easily breaks down the science behind why policing is hard on your mental health, family, and body. One of the best and probably most important books I’ve ever read not only for understanding but also for actionable strategies to be the best police officer, family member, and complete person (someone who’s life doesn’t revolve around the job) you can be.

[Samuel Mumme · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Though it was really interesting to read about the emotional, physical and psychological effects that working in law enforcement has on a person! Has good advice on how to see these effects happening and how to prevent them! Highly recommend to anyone going into a career in the Law Enforcement field or that knows someone going into it!

[Darcie Stanton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Homework from the bf…enlightening

[Sharon Israel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad but also not life changing. Definitely a good resource to understand the emotional toll being a cop takes on a person who intends to have a family.

[Mason Fraley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a mental health certification. Author has 3 or 4 basically good insights that he repeats to death. Book could have been half as long and twice as good. I also don’t think that many of the quotations in this book are real. Probably worth reading but I don’t get the hype around it.

[Tiffany · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was awful and outdated. I can’t believe departments are still listing this as “required reading”.

Save yourself the trouble of reading the whole thing and read the last chapter. The rest of the book points out all the problems with police officer emotional survival, and the last chapter attempts to offer some solutions. The solutions basically boils down to aggressive time management.

The author attempts to be funny and/or relatable but I personally didn’t think it was very funny. At one point the author passively attempts to explain away prevalent police infidelity with the rise of more female officers on the force, although he stops short of outright blaming female officers. I think this point could have been more eloquently explained.

Lastly, I question the amount of true research that went into developing this book, especially since there are no citations.

Very disappointing.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting concept to be aware of. The last few pages are the meat and potatoes of how to help your self. Has several dire examples of why you should be aware of the "roller coaster" and victim behavior in the hopes you will avoid such and have a better life.

[Meguch · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars. I enjoyed reading this book, and found it to be quiet informative of the biological rollercoaster police officers face in light of the job. However, I do feel like this information was repetitive and could’ve been broken down into more intentional chapters.

[Kristi Elliot · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any author who writes 45-55 pages chapters either writes epic fantasy, space opera, or in this case, reeeeeealllllly hates their readers.

The book is good overall; I wish we’d had something about emotional survival and resiliency when I was in the military. Maybe we serve shorter term contracts, but this might as well be the same experience as far as priorities and how your role becomes your entire life.

The last chapter does discuss how to become a survivor, and there’s good advice about not letting yourself become defined only by a singular role.

The problem I have with this book is that the author goes on a repetitive loop regarding many of the same topics: the emotional rollercoaster, hyper vigilance, the magic chair, law enforcement virginity, and a**holes. A lot of those words could have been reduced or cut altogether. I did feel like someone was gouging out my eyes a few times.

I also have reservations about the case studies he presents. For research purposes, this is useful, but it seemed excessive at times. And not only that, the author was condescending when he described officers as entitled (they totally were based on how he described it) but that’s only half the story. They aren’t here to defend themselves, even if the names have been changed.

From a research standpoint as a fiction author, I did find this book to be very enlightening. It provided an in-depth analysis of police mentality through many points in their careers. It even explains why law enforcement officers think and behave the way they do. This has been very helpful to me as a character driven writer.

This book is good for any family of law enforcement officers, as well as the police themselves. I also think the military could use something like this as well.

[Chelsea Vallandingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is great in identifying a cycle law enforcement officers undergo daily. It emphasizes the need for emotional training, but is also clear that the book itself is not the source of that necessary emotional training; yet, it was the book we were given at graduation. At least it’s a step in making strides toward emotional survival surrounding a career of hypervigilance and the related down-swing of emotions. It offered a little in terms of solutions, but it was more about recognizing an emotional disconnect that comes from this career, and being able to identify a victim or survivor mentality associated with it.

The cycle described in the book could relate to any career, even mines as a teacher—with decision fatigue, etc. It was enlightening to see that in myself as well as my officer, albeit different.

Lastly, it was originally written the year I graduated high school, when we still pod per cell phone minute and text message, and Nokia was the superior cell phone.
My edition was reprinted in 2018, but I doubt any edits/revisions were made at that time as the book doesn’t even mention cellphones.

I’d like to read an updated version with that as a topic.

With all that said, I’ll still probably come back to this book every year or so to refresh and determine how far we’ve come, or not.

[Linda Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gets four stars simply because it exists. The fact that law enforcement is starting to address the mental as well as physical safety of their officers is huge. This book helps peace officers understand the mental world they live in so they can be PROactive about taking care of their emotional health. Addressing their families as well is a huge plus. I think an update is in order however. Although updated once already, the world officers (all of us) live in has changed quite a bit since then.

[Sarah Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone in law enforcement or any spouse of a law enforcement officer should read this book. Although it can be a bit repetitive, it hits the nail on the head of how law enforcement officers get sucked into the job and abandon their personal lives. It also gives great insight on how to avoid that from happening.

[Maryann · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*

[Scott Bryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book for anyone in law enforcement or knows someone. It helped me understand myself better and see what I need to do to the best I can be.

[Donna Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book isn't just for those working in law enforcement but for anyone that has a family member or friend that is. It's a difficult career and few understand the emotional toll it takes. It should be given to all new police recruits and their families.

[Alexandra Loba · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely an eye opener especially for the new wife or spouse and/or family member who need advice on how to handle the job and the LEO working partner. It’s definitely a must read for understanding and a walk in their shoes to their every day work life.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you work in the military or police department, read this book. Simple as that.

I've been espousing this stuff for years. Traveling around the state giving talks to police about CIT for veterans, and I've snuck in a lot about taking care of themselves (I am a resilience minded guy after all). When I read this book, it was like someone took all of my meandering, ramblings, and succinctly made the arguments with better analogies, backed with research, and put into a small book.

I saw the author present in Sunriver, OR. Good stuff. Hits the nail on the head.

Seriously. Buy this for your friends in the Police Department and are military combat arms. Or don't and let them have an increased risk for stroke and heart attack.

[Nate Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second time I’ve read this now, the first being before the start of my career.

Though insightful, I think a lot of the writing is oversimplifying complex issues. A lot of the case studies are also just anecdotal examples being forced into the writer’s hypothesis. I often wondered what some of the other issues and personality traits some of these officers had going aside from just ignorance of the hyper-vigilance rollercoaster.

Even though I believe the topic to be a lot more nuanced, I still would recommend the read as it could be very helpful to those in the career. I like the concept of victim mindset vs survivor mindset and I think that could be helpful for everyone to contemplate regardless of career.

[C. Hamilton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Those in law enforcement will draw parallels with what they have experience in their careers. There will be the familiarity and the "I've seen that" or "that happened to me." The law enforcement reader can match experiences and learn from a single reading of this book. The real payoff is when the book is shared with the officer's spouse. The spouse will certainly recognize the conditions described in the book, but is often in the dark as to the how and why of their origins. This book is not solely for the law enforcement professional. It is essential to the emotional survival of the law enforcement family.

[Rom Elwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute must-read for law enforcement officers and their inner circle of family and friends. Gilmartin does a thorough job explaining the why's and how's of the hypervigilance rollercoaster officers (and their families) inevitably go through. The science behind this cycle (sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the autonomic system) are also briefly described by Gilmartin. His advice on spotting triggers and how to address them is easily grasped. In summary, this short read provides the necessary tools for the officer and loved ones from which to build a strong and centered emotional foundation.

[John Galt · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a law enforcement officer, or the family member of one. You need to purchase two copies! One for you and your family to sit down and read together and the other to give to a family that has not read it and has a law enforcement officer in that family. This book will save you so much pain and conflict further on in your life so you need to read it right now! It has a lot of insight into things that just sort of develop and happen over time and will really help ensure you and your family manage the stress of this job.

[Shayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt that this book it the nail on the head. As a wife I have heard and experienced most of what the author has said or explained in the book. My husband also agrees with the author and has started to take action in his life in order to "come out alive".

A must read for all emergency responders not only police families.

[Suzie Quint · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting look at the emotional cost of being a cop. It specifically addresses the emotional survival that will help cops maintain their lives outside of their jobs. I read it as character research and found it worthwhile on that level but also fascinating on a personal level. I think anyone in a high stress work environment could benefit from this.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic book. I would encourage every law enforcement officer (our even any one that works in that world - dispatchers, csi, support staff) and everyone who loves someone in that world to at least read the last four pages of this book. Such good advice.