Giving Your Words: The Lifegiving Power of a Verbal Home for Family Faith Formation

by Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson, Emily Ley (Foreword)

Shaping the hearts, minds, and souls of your children starts with your words.

As a parent, your heart's desire is to guide your children to love and follow God. Yet so many voices are offering help and advice. Whose voice should shape your children?

Sally and Clay Clarkson suggest the answer is as simple as it is yours. They will show you how to use your own words to shape your child's life for Christ.

The biblical principles and wisdom they offer, drawn from their years of raising four children and mentoring parents worldwide, will equip you as a word-giving parent.

Start here to gain confidence to personally and intentionally cultivate a verbal home, one filled with words of faith formation and spiritual nurture.

Then, when your children "take your words for it," they will hear God's voice.

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Faith, Family, Religion

256 pages, Hardcover

Published October 18, 2022

About the author

From working on college campuses, to sharing the Gospel behind the Iron Curtain as a missionary, traveling around the United States, Canada, Europe, the Middle East, Asia, and Australia to speak on discipleship, Sally Clarkson has tenaciously sought after God's kingdom, and has used her ministry to encourage others to do the same. From her best-selling books such as Own Your Life, Desperate (with Sarah Mae), and her latest, The Lifegiving Home, Sally has shared from her heart and home about the value of motherhood and the potential for home to cultivate life, love, and faith. In 1995, She and her husband Clay founded Whole Heart Ministries, which has encouraged thousands of families around the world in discipling their children

Reviews

[Elizabeth Santelmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a primer on parenting with intentional words. Sally’s books work on a conceptual-aspirational continuum and this one is on the conceptual end of things.

It was also part memoir recalling things the authors were grateful they had done, and what their children have told them was most meaningful!

My favorite section was the second “Giving Words”. It was a reminder to me that all these long moments of motherhood in conversation with tiny people is worth it.

The coins of relationship deposited are an investment in their future.

The last pages were dedicated to a practical resource that you can use as intention devotion with your children!!

[Sarah Fowler Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always love the Clarksons' work but this book is particularly poignant since I read it during the separation preceding divorce from my verbally (and other ways) abusive husband. It helped remind me of good edifying and healing words, and gave some really practical methods for building up that culture in my family as I get to start fresh while my daughter is still young.

"When you give your child words from your spirit, where Christ’s Spirit is alive, you are giving them living words."

"Too many Christian families wrongly believe that their Christian home automatically provides the family blessing for their children. Too often, the idea of that Christian home is defined by what the children are doing— Sunday school, Bible club, Christian friends and activities, Christian books, music and videos, and more. Those may all be good things, but they do not make a home “Christian.” If parents are not actively nurturing their children with the life of Christ, then it is a misnomer to call their home Christian. Only you can make your home a Christian home."

{I was provided a digital ARC on NetGalley by Bethany House}

[Colette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sally and Clay Clarkson have done it again. This book is a breath of fresh air for parents. When you need the reminder to keep going and why it's important , they bring it home. Investing in our littles with our words is one of the most impactful things we can do and this book gives some great tools and examples of how to make a Kingdom impact in our home. Love it.

[Susy C. *MotherLambReads* · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I have followed the Clarkson family since my now teens were babies. Good reminders and truths put forth. Nothing new or earth shattering just gentle reminders.

In some sense it felt like a summary of their family and a wrap up since their kids are all adults now and making their own footsteps in the world. They all had done some words at the end. They reference their older works and experiences. Words matter!

💬 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵:𝘩𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘴://𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮/𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴/

[Shannon McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sally again points me to Christ and makes me not feel alone. That’s my favorite thing about her. All her books are Christ centered just like her life. Who says that parenting and homeschooling doesn’t need an emphasis on Christ?! Our whole lives should.
This book is a must read for anyone who hates the sin in them of being harsh, unkind, and short with our children.

[Melanie Rightmyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a member of the book launch team I had the privilege of reading an advance copy of this book. As always, the books by the Clarkson family continue to encourage and inspire! This book has reminded me of the importance of being intentional with our words, it seems all the more important as our kids get older. While this isn’t my favorite book from the Clarkson family, it has been an encouragement and one I will keep on my shelf!

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars! While I love the Clarksons and everything they publish, this one felt like it could have been a chapter or two in a different book. I also find that when I listen to a lot of books written by Sally it leaves me feeling guilty and inadequate. I seriously wonder how the Clarkson family could fit in all the beautiful, wonderful things they write about. However, I did love the ideas and thoughts in this book.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic message but very repetitive.

[Katherine Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any book by Sally Clarkson I am all about reading it - it is just so, so good. Her voice is tried and true and her words are such an encouragement and grace to me as a mother. Giving Your Words not only is the culmination of decades of parenting (her children who are all incredibly successful and live wholesome lives as adults and professionals, themselves) but is also incredible wisdom about the power of our words, the way we speak to our children, ways to frame language, and how to speak life and humanity to our children. As a writer myself, I know the power of words - to tear down or build up, to speak life or death; It is about time we have a faith based resource for how to approach and encourage healthy, engaging, bright conversation in our households. I highly recommend it for any parent! I am grateful to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy to review.

[Ginger Pattee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clay and Sally have done it again! Taking a lofty concept - in this case, speaking life over your children - and bringing it down to street level where it can be organically put into practice, is what their books do best. This faith-over-formula, Scripture-rich primer is for any parent who desires to speak truth, beauty and goodness into the hearts of their children.

[Niki Shirkman]

Gave up on this one halfway into it. Really love some of Sally’s books. Then others, like this one, just don’t do it for me. It felt really repetitive without saying much. The title of the book “Giving Your Words” is repeated oftennnn. This one wasn’t for me.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’ve listened to Sally’s podcast or read her other books, much of this will be redundant. A lot of the book is personal stories. I found this book difficult to get through and ended up just skimming chapters for ideas and inspiration.

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Clarksons have done it yet again... beautiful, wonderful, life-giving! If you are serious about raising dedicated disciples of Christ, this book is for you. The core principle is love. Biblical principles are illuminated and made tangible. A must-read for every parent!

[Abi · Rating 5 out of 5]

When does Sally ever hit anything but a home run?
So grateful for her sharing her lifelong wisdom, that covers so many areas, and how she uses so much Scripture to back up what she says.

[Lara Ryd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many good things in this book. It felt challenging particularly because I’m not naturally skilled at giving verbal affirmation or thinking of ways to praise people, encourage others, etc. Some things struck me as a bit too sentimental or trite (and that’s often why I refrain from verbal affirmation). But praising/encouraging people poorly or awkwardly is often better than not praising them at all! I’m hoping to grow in this area and make it more a part of our home culture, as the Clarksons have.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so helpful and so good for me as a new mom. The epilogue is each of their children sharing an example of how their parents' words shaped them. Holy cow--I cried so much through those, because I long to be a mom whose words leave a positive, Christ-exalting and soul-empowering impact for her child(ren). The epilogue alone is worth the price of the book, but the entire thing is saturated with Scripture and encouragement and practical examples. I would especially recommend this for new parents (although it's never too late to wield our words with more wisdom and intention).

I'm so grateful for the Clarksons and the way they used their words in their family and that they have shared those words with us.

[Taisha Kelleher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am reading an advanced copy of this book and it is amazing! As always, Sally and Clay are super inspiring and encouraging. This book reminds us that words matter. The words we choose to say to our children and how and when we say them make a difference. Little by little, our words, like seeds planted in a garden, grow fruit in our children’s hearts. Therefore, it is so important that we sow the word of God, along with words that are true, good, and beautiful, in their hearts. Each chapter has a short section at the end that gives suggestions on how to put that chapter’s ideas into action in your family. The epilogue is each one of the Clarkson children telling how their parents’ words affected their lives. This is a must read for all parents!

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful and practical refresher on the power of our actual words spoken within our families.

Loved the way she drives home the point (with personal examples!) of creating a verbal vs. a virtual home — for sharing your faith & cultivating its formation in your children. There is no substitute for speaking actual words (vs. relying on giving our children the "right" books, shows, music, etc..... which do not in and of themselves make a Christian family. We do!)

I did not grow up in a particularly verbal home in this regard, so I appreciated the practical ideas for fleshing this out. We have the opportunity to build up, encourage, and cultivate our children's hearts, minds, and souls with our intentionally-spoken words — so let's not be stingy with them!

[JENNIFER COOK · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sally's words encourage. She helps you ponder what YOUR words mean to others. Giving my words to our children takes on a whole new light these days after reading this book. I have enjoyed the deeper dive into scripture alongside of Sally's quotes from other authors that nicely compliment her writing. It is a great book to be used for a book club, couples read, or for a Sunday School class. I highly recommend this one to parents, grandparents, and anyone who wants to know more about how your words can shape others.

[Logan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a 3.75 stars for me. I feel like the book could have been cut in half. Repetitive and wordy in many ways. I did, however, really enjoy the practical steps shared at the end of every chapter and at the end of the book.

[Hueydavis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best child rearing book I've read yet. I've taken quite a few practical ideas from the book and implemented it into how we foster spiritual formation in our daughters.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sally Clarkson has always been so inspiring and encouraging. This book in particular, written with her husband, is probably my favorite of all of the Clarkson books. I have filled it with highlights and sticky tabs to quickly reference back to pages of wisdom and ideas for application. This book really made me take a look in the mirror at my own life, words, and motherhood. As a parent it is my utmost goal to breathe life and plant seeds of Truth in my children's lives that I pray will one day take root. This book gave many practical ways to accomplish this and reminded me of how this is the most important thing as parents. Our words to our children are part of our ministry. How are we using our words to glorify God, teach our children, share with them wisdom, encourage them in pursuing a life in Christ, acknowledging their gifts from Him, and also challenging them? I especially loved in the epilogue that each of the Clarksons' four grown children wrote a section that shared how their parents' words most impacted them during their childhood and what they remember the most.

[Meagan | The Chapter House · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I don’t have kids, I still found this a really intriguing read.

We all have people in our lives we can invest in, children or otherwise. I’m blessed to have two nieces and a nephew, and this encourages and challenges me, giving shape to how I can speak into their lives and be a godly mentor and loved one. I was particularly convicted by the reminder to treasure things up in my own heart, which made me think about what I spend my time dwelling on—is it wise and worthy stuff, or shallow, with no lasting value?

I want to speak well into their lives, and this will help guide me to do that well in future. Words of affirmation are my own love language, and this deepened my understanding of that and how I can live into it well with myself and others.

I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Emily Sexton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a review copy of this book, and I'm happy to say that it is just as encouraging and useful as Sally's others! I could definitely tell that Clay was the co-author of the book, as it slightly affected the style of writing, but not in a negative way. There are so many practical applications given in the book, and I'm looking forward to adding some things to our home. The idea that a verbal home is a powerful tool for growing our children into confident, competent, and curious adults is one that I have felt strongly about for a long time - it was interesting to see how the Clarksons were able to put that idea into words.

I definitely recommend this book for parents.

[Annelise Gabrielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not exaggerating to say it was Sally Clarkson who removed a lot of my fear of raising children. I listened to her podcast before I ever got pregnant, and it’s now become a favourite with my two-year-old as well. “Hello Friends” by “Sally Cup” is often requested while driving (At Home with Sally, for those in control of the podcast app). Her words gifted me with courage and the belief that I can use my words to build up my children and help them flourish, even in ways I never received. I was excited when I heard that Sally and Clay Clarkson were publishing a book called ‘Giving Your Words.’

Giving Your Words is a guide which demonstrates how the Giver of the Word enables us to give our words to bring life and wisdom to our children. It shows how the Servant calls us to serve our children and lead them to Him. It raises parents up in the knowledge that we are the best parents for our children, and that the Holy Spirit will enable us to use our unique personalities and words to greater effect than any parenting script or formula. It’s an encouragement to name and call forth the gifts, dreams and passions we see in our children and spur them forward.

Clay and Sally write that while love is a verb, it is also verbal. Love requires action, but for it to be deeply felt it must also be accompanied by the gift of our words and affirmations. Words are powerful, and creating a verbal environment of regular and intentional conversation will help our children flourish as they navigate the world and the life of faith. The Clarksons offer many suggestions and guides for how to use words well to encourage and disciple without resorting to formulas.

“Creating a verbal home begins with following Christ’s example of personal ministry by first choosing to serve your children. The words you give in your personal interactions with them will be effective for Christ only if they come from the heart of a parent who is a servant like Christ – one who with humility of mind regards others, even their own children, as more important than themselves.”

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Ashly Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Sally Clarkson so much and this book is a wonderful exploration of the importance of words and how they shaped the tangible faith found in the Clarkson home. As someone who also loves words, writing, and reading, this book spoke so much to me.

One of my favorite things about any of Sally's books is the inclusion of words or thoughts from the Clarkson children. Seeing the fruit of their labor and the proof that these ideas and actions actually work is so rewarding. What a wonderful gift the Clarkson's have provided to us here!

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiringly practical perspective on how to create a Christ-centered, verbal home that will give our children a foundation to carry through the years. Having raised four adults who love God fiercely, Sally and Clay Clarkson offer their wisdom on how they filled their home with words of godly truth, love, instruction, hope, and so much more. Truly grateful for the conversation this has started between my husband and me as we work to built our own verbal home.

[T.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sally and Clay Clarkson hit it out of the park with this one. Within the first chapter, I was already recommending it. Now that I’ve finished it, I feel like it is a must read for Christian mothers AND fathers alike. I listened to it via audible, but I plan to get it either through kindle or a physical copy so I can refer back to certain parts when needed.

[Meagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the main message of this book about using lifegiving words in your home, but the practicality of it fell a little short for me. It gave me a lot to think about, and it’s filled with scripture (which I also love). But I wish it were a little more conversational. I think it would be a great one to read with your spouse and talk about while you read. Overall, I’d still recommend.

[Maria Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sally and Clay have done it again. An invaluable resource for parents to see the impact of the worse they choose and what the Lord says about our words. Written in a friendly and easy to implement manner that makes you feel like you are being coached and encouraged align the way.