Child: A Memoir

by Judy Goldman

A 2022 Katie Couric Media Must-Read New Book • A personal meditation on love in the shadow of white privilege and racism

Child is the story of Judy Goldman's relationship with Mattie Culp, the Black woman who worked for her family as a live-in maid and helped raise her―the unconscionable scaffolding on which the relationship was built and the deep love. It is also the story of Mattie's child, who was left behind to be raised by someone else. Judy, now eighty, cross-examines what it was to be a privileged white child in the Jim Crow South, how a bond can evolve in and out of step with a changing world, and whether we can ever tell the whole truth, even to ourselves. It is an incandescent book of small moments, heart-warming, heartbreaking, and, ultimately, inspiring.

Genres: Memoir, Southern

160 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 24, 2022

About the author

I’m the author of 8 books — 4 memoirs, 2 novels, and 2 collections of poetry My new memoir, The Rest of Our Lives, will be published May 2025. It's on a subject I'm an expert in -- aging! But I want it to be a guide for 40-year-olds, 80-year-olds, and everyone in between!

My recent memoir, Child: A Memoir (University of South Carolina Press), was named a “Must-Read Book in 2022” by Katie Couric Media and was a finalist for the Southern Book Award in Nonfiction..

My memoir,  Together : Memoir of a Marriage and a Medical Mishap , was published in 2019 (Nan A. Talese/Doubleday), and in paperback in 2020 (Anchor Books. Named one of best books of 2019 by Real Simple magazine. Starred review in Library Journal. Order today!

My first memoir, Losing My Sister, was a finalist for both SIBA’s Memoir of the Year and ForeWord Review’s Memoir of the Year. My first novel, The Slow Way Back, was a finalist for SIBA’s Novel of the Year, winner of the Sir Walter Raleigh Fiction Award and the Mary Ruffin Poole Award for First Fiction. My second book of poetry, Wanting To Know the End, won the Gerald Cable Poetry Prize, as well as the top three prizes for a book of poetry by a North Carolinian.

My work has appeared in The Southern Review, Kenyon Review, Gettysburg Review, Ohio Review, Prairie Schooner, Shenandoah, Crazyhorse, Real Simple magazine, and Our State magazine; my book reviews in The Washington Post and The Charlotte Observer; my commentaries on public radio in Chapel Hill and Charlotte. I received the Hobson Award for Distinguished Achievement in Arts and Letters, the Fortner Writer and Community Award for “outstanding generosity to other writers and the larger community,” and the Beverly D. Clark Author Award from Queens University. I live with my husband in Charlotte, NC. We have two married children and four grandchildren.

Reviews

[Charlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Story of the 60+ year loving relationship between the author who grew up in Rock Hill, South Carolina in the 1950s as the youngest of three children in a wealthy family and the live in maid who raised her and remained close to the family through the decades.

At times, the author questions her child’s memories and thinks of all the things she wasn’t aware of . . . These are probably the best moments. Author structures the short book well, so there is a surprise (that we should have all thought about) at the end.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful reflection of a life in the South that I was always curious about. Besides the general theme of race, there is the other theme of what it is to be a child. I think that must inform the title of the book. I've read 3 books recently from a child's perspective and all 3 illustrate how they were typical children and didn't even think to question their parents on most things. In this case, even in the few times when Goldman WANTS to ask questions, she senses that the questions she wants to ask are too delicate to ask (in those times, especially). So, the author first presents her own incomplete understanding or memory of an event and then in later years researched those events, asking other friends and family for what was really going on to get a more complete picture. -- The author was the youngest of 3.

The story flows very well and there is a surprise at the end that I wasn't expecting, but like the child, should have.

[Raye Templeton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir. Written by a woman from my hometown about her and her childhood caretaker’s lives. Really cool to hear someone’s stories about growing up in the same town with vastly different perspectives and circumstances.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of Mattie Culp, the black woman who worked for the author's family, lived in and helped raise her, the strong relationship that was built, and the deep love they had for each other. It's also the story of Mattie's child, who was left behind to be raised by someone else. One of the pieces of the story I found interesting was the relationship between Mattie and Judy's mother. They shared everything. A home. A child. And a friendship.

In the book, the author kicks off by saying, "I'm eighty years old. If I'm not going to tell this story now, when am I going to tell it?" I found this impressive on many fronts because it would be so easy not to tell this story as a white woman talking about a black woman who worked for her family. But this is such a compelling story about why this relationship was so important and what the author discovered at the end.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Kristin Ogburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this memoir about the author's relationship with Mattie Culp, the Black woman who lived with her family as a maid and helped raise her. So glad I got to hear the author speak about her lifelong relationship with Mattie in Charlotte last month. I highly recommend this little gem (150 pp).

[Natalie Park · Rating 2 out of 5]

This memoir recounts mainly the white/Jewish author’s childhood with her black maid/nanny Mattie. I struggled through the first part of this book but it became more interesting as she re-examined Mattie’s life and their relationship as she became a woman in her 20s and later. It seemed like the author had many blind spots even at the end of the book.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful memoir of a woman whose family employed a black woman, Mattie, as their live-in maid from the time the author was three and basically through her life. The relationship that Mattie built was loving, and the family took care of her. But the author does a good job of questioning things that happened and noticing now the racial injustice that occurred and tries to convey her feelings. Wonderfully written.

[Marybeth Burns · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick little read that tells the story of a girl who grew up with a Black maid and how as she grew up she started realize all the things she once thought were normal about this relationship was very very different from the society around her.

Local author!!

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tres beau livre. Une histoire emouvante.
And a superb front cover book

[Deirdre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy Goldman's memoirs, such as "Together" and now, "Child" are beautifully written, carefully constructed, and ask hard questions about life and love. "Child" is about her beloved Mattie, the Black woman hired as housekeeper, cook and nanny in the 1940s in Rock Hill, SC. Judy's family is Jewish, which sets them apart as "other" in the South, already. Mattie, raised in the 1920s and '30s, is "other," too — and she expects a life of service to others. Still, at 80, Judy wonders if the love they had for each other was tainted by the fact Mattie is a paid servant. In an interview with Judy, she said, "I’m secure in what our relationship meant to both Mattie and me. It felt important for the book for me to look much further than that.”
Goldman is concerned that someone will misinterpret her perspective. “She was employed, paid to love me and she was paid to love me and she loved me. We need to explore all the parts of it.”
“Child” is a testament to the truth of their love for each other. Chapter after chapter will leave the reader feeling that love. It wasn’t an easy time in America, especially the South, but it is clear from the Dedication that Goldman sees Mattie as her cherished treasure: “For Mattie Culp: This book is because of you. But then, so much that is good about my life is because of you.”
Love guides this touching memoir.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful memoir. Quick 144 page read. I read it all in one sitting.
Highly recommend.
Ms. Goldman grew up in the segregated South with a Black woman hired as a maid who came to live with her family full-time in the 1940s. The author was just three years old when Mattie moved in with one of the few Jewish families in the small South Carolina town. The bond between Mattie Culp and the author grew stronger every year. Both of them felt blessed. But for the author, writing about the circumstances of how life was for Black people, especially in the Deep South and how as a child the different status of whites and blacks was just an accepted part of the culture was an emotional journey.
Mattie Culp is remembered with love for the wonderful person she was, and this memoir serves as a reminder of the love that can exist between people whose hearts are open. It is also a reminder of the days of the segregated South for Black people who could not share a water fountain, a bathroom, a hospital waiting room, or a school room. This is certainly a heart-warming memoir, but it was complicated. We all need to hear the voices of those who were there as witnesses to a shameful part of our American story.

[Mp E · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was in the library and saw this on the counter and was intrigued. I thought it was an eye opening story about what I think I know about ...but in reality, can't possibly know because I didn't experience it first hand. A story of love and connection, of a family trying to live by the correct moral compass and a child's curiosity about the larger world around her. My mom lived in the south in the late 50's and I would always ask her how she accepted things that she had to know were wrong (white only fountains etc). She always said "that's just the way it was". Her answer always made me want to understand more about that time. Especially because I knew there were people that did fight back against "the way things were". Very glad I picked this book up.

From Page 134…..

“Can we trust anything inside the system we were brought up in? A system founded in, and still dependent on, oppression? Can I see the world as it really was, as it really is? And has it even changed that much? Black maids calming cranky white children in grocery checkout lines. Hispanic Nannie’s pushing white children on park swings. So many women, so many years, taking care of other women’s children.

What I’ve finally come to: it is possible for love to co-exist with ugliness”.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goldman has written a beautiful and moving memoir about her relationship with Mattie Culp, the Black woman who raised her as a live-in employee of Goldman's (white) family in small-town South Carolina in the mid-twentieth century.

This book is a quick read, arranged as a series of brief reflections that are often (but not always) in chronological order. Goldman has a fantastic memory for detail, for dialogue, and for emotion.

What makes this memoir especially moving, however, is Goldman's willingness to wrestle with the issue of racial equity that permeates her relationship with Mattie Culp. Goldman never stoops to find easy, pat answers to the hardest questions, and she regularly critiques her own thinking and even changes her thinking as she begins to ponder new ideas or new evidence.

Goldman isn't striving for hero points, and she never claims to be free of racism. She deserves credit for committing this beautiful lifelong story to book form and for giving it to her readers with many unanswered questions (about race, about class, about parenting) within its pages.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This relatively short and simple book was such a powerful memoir of race, class, and life in the south during the 1940’s to 1960’s! The author Judy Goldman wrote this book to remember the Black woman who raised her, Mattie Culp. More than a maid but not quite a true family member , Mrs. Goldman uses this memoir to try to define her relationship with Mattie Culp within the context of the time period and of her own memories. One thing that struck me in the book was how Judy did not understand was why Mattie would never take her to the all Black church that she went to, even though they were so close. My thought is that Mattie needed a place that belonged to her, that was all her own, and as close as the two women were, Judy just did not belong in that world. Mattie had a life outside of the Goldman family and it was the one thing that was hers and hers alone. I feel like in many ways Judy thought Mattie “belonged” to her family, but I think that as much as Mattie loved the Goldmans and was an integral part of their lives (and they, hers) ultimately she belonged to herself.

[Abigail DeWitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most moving, powerful, and necessary memoirs I've ever read. The story of Judy Goldman's decades long relationship with Mattie Culp, the woman who was hired to take care of her, is a love story built on "unconscionable scaffolding." It is riveting and inspiring, often heartbreaking, often funny--always deeply wise and honest. And the writing is simply gorgeous. Sentence after sentence sings. Goldman was a poet before she began writing prose, and it shows. She has a keen eye for the small, stunning detail and an exquisite sense of rhythm. And like the best poets, Goldman trusts her reader's intelligence, never insisting on a particular interpretation, but inviting us to join in her unsparing, compassionate exploration of the past. Pat Conroy once wrote that Judy Goldman's writing was "luminous." There's no better word to describe this book.

[Kathryn Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy Goldman tackles the complicated issue of racial inequality from the perspective of an innocent young girl and the adult woman she becomes in her touching new book, Child. Honest and insightful, the author wrestles with the paradoxical injustices that plagued her southern upbringing. Raised by a loving black caregiver within a tolerant and progressive family environment, Goldman reflects on the inequities of her upbringing and offers a clearer understanding of the conflicting motivations and behaviors that were prevalent in her youth. Goldman successfully relates a difficult dichotomy in a sincere and compassionate voice. Readers will experience an enhanced sense of humanity and will not be disappointed.

[Marjorie Klein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy Goldman's Child threw me back to my own childhood in the South. Evocative of the time and place, the voices and gorgeous details of Child are not just a nostalgic visit to the South Carolina of the 1950s, but a conscience-prodding re-evaluation of what was then assumed to be Just The Way Things Are. Despite her youth, Goldman's sensitivity, manifested in her love for Mattie, the black woman who raised her, enabled her to realize that something was not right. Beautifully expressed through the eyes of the child she once was, Child crosses the boundaries of time and prejudice to show us what was, what should have been, and what is still possible. This is a pure expression of love, not only between Goldman and Mattie, but of Goldman and humankind.

[Maggie Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. Thought provoking. A trip back in time. The book tells the story of Judy's childhood, and how she was raised by her beloved Mattie, the Black live in maid. Set in the Jim Crow south, it is heartbreaking, it is joyful, it made my stomach hurt for the injustices that were so common. Yet there were also moments of cheering for the way Judy's family stood up to the injustices and said "NO!". In the end, the love in this story is what wins. The writing was so good, you could almost see yourself at the table, or walking hand in hand with Mattie. Just loved it!

[Ruth Garcia-Corrales · Rating 5 out of 5]

Child by Judy Goldman is a memoir not of her family even though there are several areas where she shares stories but of the African American maid who raise her since little. Her conflict today with race differences makes her go back to understand how different her parents were. It opens a window to the time we are living today to what those days were. The book is written with a lot of love, gratitude and sharings of wonderful stories. The values of a family who gave opportunities to African Americans who others didn’t.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A loving tribute to someone who affected the author's life even more than her own family in many ways. I'm so glad that she found out that Mattie came to her family out of her own desires and didn't necessarily sacrifice raising her own child in order to do so (while recognizing the extreme social constraints involved). Reading this also connects some threads in Ms. Goldman's other memoirs.
I wish I had read a hard copy because I found the audiobook narrator's voice to be quite monotone at times.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Audiobook. This was an interesting and honest account from a white Southern woman reflecting on her life-long experiences with the black nanny/housekeeper who helped raise her, and starting to realise through the process that there even more she didn’t know/think about than she had previously acknowledged. Some great expressions of how her nanny, Mattie, fit in as a primary caregiver without displacing the mother, and how tricky it can be to balance relationships between an employer and employee/people of privilege and oppressed people.

[Patti · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re troubled by the direction the world seems to be heading in, Judy Goldman’s Child will remind you that even in the most difficult times, good people influence change, one empathetic step at a time. Judy’s story shows how her family in Rock Hill, South Carolina, in the 1950’s nudged humanity toward progress. Her honest portrayal also reminds us that progress is complicated, and not swift, but absolutely possible through the power of love.

[Tansy Hepton · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thoughtful and honest book which explores the author's relationship with the Black maid who lived as part of their family and some of the issues of white privilege.
It is clear that the author's family were (relatively) unusual in combating racial prejudice by their actions and that Mattie was truly a much loved member of their family. In such a scenario, everyone benefits, but privilege can still exist.
An important little book.

[Karen DeBonis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an intimate look into what it was like to be a white child of privilege and principles being raised by a black nanny/cook/beloved friend. But what does "friend" really mean in a pre-civil rights America? Goldman explores this topic deeply and sensitively in this beautiful memoir.

[Laura D. Ullrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

I chose this book because the synopsis reminded me of a very similar narrative from my family. I was shocked when I realized that it takes place in Rock Hill, South Carolina, where I have lived for 15 years. I loved reading about ‘old’ Rock Hill and many familiar landmarks.

[Kathryn McGregor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful memoir that recognizes the inequity of the relationship between a white Jewish girl and her black maid and yet tells stories of love and family. Wonderful storytelling.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this book down - finished it in a couple of days. A beautiful memoir.

[Avary Doubleday · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a touching and brave work: tackling the racial climate in which we grew up.

[Ellen Mays · Rating 3 out of 5]

“It’s possible for love to co-exist with ugliness.”

[Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Charlotte perspective on Jim Crow.