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13 pages, Audible Audio
First published April 26, 2022





Shane wondered if Ilya was as dizzy with happiness as he was. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe they were actually together. That Shane could have this.
“You had a cigarette last night.”
“How do you know?”
“I have a nose.”
Ilya booped the tip of Shane’s nose. “A cute one.” Shane tried to glare at him, but he couldn’t keep it up. Not when Ilya was smiling at him like that.
Shane exhaled slowly. “I don’t think I like Troy.”
“Why? You have a lot in common. You both are short, gay, and both think I am hot.”
“Yes. Was probably true. I look at you and I am just…” Ilya opened and closed his fist several times in front of his chest. “My heart goes crazy, you know?”
Shane’s own heart started going a little crazy. “You should see a doctor about that.”
But all Ilya said was, “I love you so much, Shane.”
Shane knew it, but hearing Ilya say it in such a raw, unguarded way cut through him like a blade. The pain of not being in the same room as Ilya felt physical.
“Thank you, moy gazonokosilka.”
This was a game Ilya liked to play where he used random Russian words as pet names, to test Shane. Shane thought hard for a moment, trying to guess the word’s meaning, but ultimately surrendered. “No idea what that one means.”
“Is, um…for cutting the grass.” “Lawnmower?”
“Yes.”
“Weird.”
“I’m exhausted,” Shane said. “Let’s go to bed, okay?”
“Sure.” But Shane didn’t move. He wrapped his strong arms around Ilya’s waist and held him, breathing slowly against Ilya’s neck. Ilya rocked them a bit, gently, from side to side, and enjoyed the quiet.
Shane loved Ilya so much it physically hurt to contain it some days.







Svetlana huffed. "I don't understand. Unless you're in love with Shane Hollander, I can't think of any-" She stopped, and then she lunged forward, practically resting her whole torso on the table. "Is it Shane Hollander?" she hissed.I fucking love Svetlana😭😭
"I'm afraid so. Yes."
Svetlana seemed to realize she was basically lying on the table, and slid back into her chair with as much grace as possible.
"Do you think we looked like that to them?"
"What, sexy? I probably did."
"I'm worried about Hayden too," Shane said.ilya UGHHHHH
"Kissing you?"
"No! Giving us away, I mean."
Ilya huffed. "Is possible. He is not smart."