First Friends: The Powerful Unsung (and unelected) People Who Shaped Our Presidents

by Gary Ginsburg

Non fiction, political, friendship

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Biography, Politics, Presidents, American History, Audiobook

360 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 6, 2021

Reviews

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book “First Friends, The Powerful Unsung People Who Shaped Our Presidents” by Gary Ginsberg refreshing. It provides a different insight into a president.

I have read many biographies of presidents. Much of the information in this book appears in the biographies, but this book looks at it from a different viewpoint. I believe that the friend provided more personal information along with information as to the role of a friend to the president. The one I found most interesting is that of Nixon and Bebe Rebozo. If you are looking for something different to read for the summer, give this book a try.

I read this as an audiobook downloaded from Audible. The book is fifteen hours and twenty-eight minutes. Robert Petkoff does an excellent job narrating the book.

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughts soon.

[Jeff Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy books such as this with factoids about important people that prove how seemingly inconsequential events prove historically pivotal. My chief criticism is this: Since the author doesn’t hide his personal views, the book should be heavily footnoted; it is not. Truth be told, the author should also be more careful to avoid projecting backwards his ‘modern’ views on those who didn’t have the luxury of his enlightenment

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Friends.

Sometimes they save your life or help you become your best self. They can be a sounding board and tell you the truth when others can’t. Or, they can indulge or even share your darker side, your weaknesses, your vices.

The friends of powerful people can sway decisions that affect more than one person or one family. Like the president’s spouse, First Friends are unelected yet may have access to privileged information and great influence.

First Friends is a unique presidential history in which Gary Ginsburg portrays nine presidents and their best friends. Although I have read biographies of most of these presidents, Ginsberg pulled out new understandings and gave me a greater depth of understanding.

“…a First Friend is essential to presidential success,” Ginsberg asserts; “What unites the nine stories is the presence in each of a deep, abiding affection between two individuals.” Nathaniel Hawthorne actually said he loved his college buddy, the Southern, slave-owner Franklin Pierce and supported his political career even when Hawthorne’s Transcendentalist (and abolitionist) neighbors were appalled.

Each friendship had a different impact on the president.

Daisy Suckley gave her cousin President Franklin Roosevelt idolization, fun, and companionship with no political impact. Eddie Jacobson pushed President Harry S. Truman to recognize Israel after WWII, risking their long friendship. Colonel House was a gatekeeper and fixer for President Woodrow Wilson during WWI. Wilson stated, “I never met a man whose thought ran so identically with mine,” and gave him great power of decision. (But Wilson’s second wife Edith couldn’t wait to push House out of power; after her husband’s stroke, she took over!)

President Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed shared more than a bed; they both struggled with depression and fear of intimacy with a woman. After Speed married, he wrote Lincoln that it went pretty well–don’t be afraid. The Speed family’s slaves were a problem for Lincoln, but Speed was a pro-Union democrat who worked to keep Kentucky in the Union. And, his abolitionist brother served as Lincoln’s attorney general.

President John F. Kennedy relied on the British ambassador David Ormsby-Gore during the Cuban Missile Crisis. President Bill Clinton’s friend Vernon Jordan helped save his marriage after the Lewinsky scandal. President Thomas Jefferson and President James Madison were intellectual powerhouses with a common heritage and political vision.

If President Clinton was charming and made friends easily, President Richard Nixon was the opposite. Kissinger wondered what kind of man he could have became had he been loved as a child. His parents were strict. He lost two brothers. He was intelligent and driven–and ruthless. His friendship with Bebe Rebozo gave him a respite, and they spent hours together without saying a word. Rebozo could read Nixon’s mood, was always loyal, and never made demands. Together, they managed to contribute to Nixon’s downfall.

Accessible and enjoyable, First Friends would make a great read for those new to presidential biographies, but offers fresh insight for readers like me who have been reading about the presidents for a long time.

I received a free egalley from the publisher through NetGalley. My review is fair and unbiased.

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although interesting and edifying, I found the book ultimately unsatisfying. To a large extent this is due to the book's unfortunate sub-title. Of course, there are a number of great examples of "the powerful, unsung (and unelected) people" but there are a couple of chapters that seem suspect to me. Two that jump to mind were Nathaniel Hawthorne (friend of Franklin Pierce) and Daisy Suckley (friend of FDR). I especially found the chapter on FDR disappointing because there was virtually no mention of Harry Hopkins who I always thought of as a "first friend". I did learn quite a bit so it was worth reading.

[Anthony Caruso · Rating 5 out of 5]

People say that our experiences shape the type of person we end up being - our character, our morals, our inner strength, etc. However, just as important, are the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Not those relationships cemented by blood, but those we choose willingly - spouses and close friends.

Gary Ginsberg's "First Friends: The Powerful, Unsung (And Unelected) People Who Shaped Our Presidents" is a fascinating look at close friendships that have endured through, been made in, and been broken by the Oval Office. While there's an old adage that the most powerful person in D.C. after the president is that of the Chief of Staff - or perhaps even the first lady, as the real power behind the throne - this book made me think differently. Ginsberg shows us, in great detail, how close friendships - which so often allude our Commanders in Chief, the majority of whom have described that unique job as incredibly lonely - help shape domestic policy, world events, politics, and the course of history.

As a History buff, I loved reading these accounts that I never knew of, of administrations that have been consigned to the annals of the ages. It's amazing how, for all accounts and purposes, such average people - unknown to and unelected by the public - have shaped the course of events of this country since its inceptions; frankly, not just amazing, but terrifying as well. It would have been nice to have learned more of this, and dived deeper into this subject, while learning American History in school.

If there's one flaw to this perfect book, it's little more than a nitpick; I wish it was three times the size and had a chapter dedicated to each of our presidents, and didn't just pick a handful of them to really look at. It would have been fascinating to read about the friendships that Washington forged, and those - if any - that kept Trump from going off the rails completely. But despite this fact, this is a fun, quick, informative read which I would highly recommend to anybody. As such, I'm giving it a five-out-of-five stars.

[Rhoda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book emphasizes the influences that good friends have on each other. Solomon speaks of iron sharpening iron, and this book shows the iron that sharpened the iron of several Presidents. Who our friends are determine who we are. Another saying is that who we are in 10 years are determined by the books we read and the friends we make.

Dee Brestin in The Friendships of Women described the difference in friendships of women and of men. Men do things with their friends. Women build intimacy with close friends. All of the Presidential friends detailed in this book show that the people are capable of building intimacy--so much so that others wondered if the relationships were tainted.

When Clinton's transition team was vetting Al Gore, they were sorely concerned that Gore had no intimate friends. “If he can’t develop or even claim one real friendship, how’s he going to lead a nation?”

The author on the importance of friends for a President: "The point here is not to assert that a First Friend is essential to presidential success. It would be a reach—and a misreading of history—to draw that conclusion. And yet the deeper I delved into dozens of presidential friendships, the more convinced I became that those presidents who did have First Friends were almost always the better for it—and so was the country."

I'm very happy that I took Al Mohler's recommendation and encourage you to read this book as well.

And it took me awhile to read this book because work got very busy and my Libby check-out ended and couldn't renew immediately.

[Christie Bane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covered the closest friendships of nine presidents (farthest in the past: Thomas Jefferson; most contemporary: Bill Clinton). The book was well written (on a pop level so easily readable) and was interesting because 1) close friendship is just such an interesting subject to me, 2) the best friends of important world leaders often have direct influence on decisions that end up affecting the course of world history. I love reading about U.S. Presidents but this book gave a slightly different viewpoint than others I’ve read. Side note: this book is also the only book ever that one of my dogs destroyed. Amigo snatched it off my desk, ran into the yard with it, and tore the library cover to shreds before I could wrestle it away from him. I had to fess up to the library and pay $30 for it, damn his fluffy hide.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gary Ginsberg has introduced me to past presidents through a totally fresh portal. . . Their best friends. I loved his approach to the stories, the accessibility of the historical/political information, and the increased insight it offered me on how our lives can be affected by who we choose to listen to, and talk to.

I loved every minute I spent with this intelligent, interesting book. And, it will make me a more interesting dinner companion because of the trove of fresh anecdotes I can recount. . . And, I think I will be a much more impressive trivia player if I can recall 1/10 of the fun facts Mr. Ginsberg shares with us in FIRST FRIENDS.

[Charlotte Fatal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book and insight into surprising amount of influence from unelected people to very important historical moments in the United States. I learned the most from the earlier friendships as the later ones I remember from the news when I was younger. I also learned in an interesting way more about the history of their United States and the politics that influenced many important decisions. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in a new way to learn about the political history of the US.

[AcademicEditor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"First Friends" prompts readers to reflect on the importance of friendship in the political sphere--good and bad. It's a great reminder that sometimes the people who weren't elected wield great influence on those who were.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for the opportunity to review a temporary digital ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.

[Charity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book for history lovers. Focuses on the historical facts & letters between American presidents & their influential friends, & how those friendships shaped historical & political decisions. Fascinating & enjoyable read!

[Mark Fallon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-researched and well-written book. While some of the "first friends" are known to history, I didn't realize the deepness of their relationship with certain presidents.

Perhaps a question for the next presidential debate - Who is your best friend?

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting book with tons of factoids and information on some of the most influential Americans operating behind the scenes. I particularly enjoyed the segment on President Pierce and Nathanial Hawthorne, with the chapter on President Truman and Eddie Jacobson also standing out. A US history book in and of itself with how the time periods the author covers. A great book recommended and given to me by a great friend!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting look at, for the most part, people whose names we aren't familiar with who have played important roles in the life of a president. I know how important "best friends" have been in my life and Ginsberg shows that men elected to the highest office in the land are no different.
Very interesting read.

[Mary Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be very interesting. I especially liked the chapter on Franklin Pierce and Nathaniel Hawthorne but I enjoyed all of the segments. A great glimpse into history as well as into the personalities of the chosen presidents. Definitely a good read!

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Dustin Anderson]

Democrats will love this book

The book is a lot like like reading the Times. If you're a Democrat you'll love it, If you're a Republican you'll struggle getting through it.

[Christina Gagliano · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating and engaging must-read for presidential history buffs.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of stories about various president's best friends even though I read it slowly. I especially enjoyed reading about Nathaniel Hawthorne's friendship with Franklin Pierce and Vernon Jordan's friendship with Bill Clinton.

[Riq Hoelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The friendships this book discusses:
•Jefferson (James Madison)
•Pierce (Nathaniel Hawthorne)
•Lincoln (Joshua Speed)
•Wilson (Colonel House)
•FDR (Daisy Suckley) (not Louis Howe?)
•Truman (Eddie Jacobson)
•Kennedy (David Ormsby-Gore)
•Nixon (Bebe Rebozo)
•Clinton (Vernon Jordan)

There are some oversimplifications in the Jefferson-Madison story. For example, states that Madison did everything to prevent majority rule in the constitution. That's not exactly right. His Virginia plan was entirely based around the idea that the majority should be given its voice and to ensure that he intended that both houses of Congress be apportioned by population. That's not against majority rule, exactly. What this book must have in mind is that he also wanted check and balances to ensure the majority did not go too far.

Although there was a great hubbub when the "Lincoln was gay" theory came out years ago, most historians seem to discount it now, and I have also, as does this book. But it's funny. After listening to the details of their friendship, it certainly does lead in that direction. Indeed, Speed wrote Lincoln that he was afraid of not being able to perform on his wedding night and Lincoln wrote back that it was a fear they had in common. Later on they exchange some letters that sound like a lovers tiff. Now wondering if this theory deserves further investigation.

Also interesting that there seem to be several parallels between Jefferson and
Lincoln:
- mothers both from Virginia
- both elected twice
- both so devastated by a love interest (wife in one case, fiance in the
other) that their friends were very worried about them
- both instrumental in relocating their state's capital
- both lost all but one of their children early

In the chapter on Wilson and Col. House, says the US favored the "Allied" side. Of course this term is anachronistic. It should be "Entente".

The book is very antagonistic toward Col. House. I find this odd as I find him a much bigger picture thinker than Wilson and really the author of Wilson's success and accomplishments. Claims that the split between Wilson and House was the worst since Hamilton and Burr, but really, Hamilton and Burr were never friends.

It was interesting to learn that if Roosevelt in 1944 had become too sick to stand for election, he would have designated a surprising successor: industrialist Henry G. Kaiser. He had some surprisingly out of the box ideas at times, such as his suggestion that the UN be placed on Hawaiian island of Niihau.

Hadn't known much about Nixon and Rebozo. Rebozo was a life of the party type and Nixon was, well, Nixon. Bit of a surprising combination. But they could sit together watching a view from a boat for hours, not even speaking.

Interesting that Al Gore was not in Clinton's original top 3 picks for the vice presidency, though he was great, innovative choice. The originals were Bill Bradley, Jay Rockefeller and Colin Powell. They all turned him down.

[Julie Bestry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclosure: Although this is the kind of book I'd have been likely to read anyway, I learned of it and sought it out at the suggestion of my mother, who is friends with the author's mother. I have never met the author, and have only met his mother once. I do not believe my take on the book is colored by this tenuous link.

With that out of the way, I can say that this is a fine book as long as you don't expect too much depth or breadth beyond chatty history. This book feels more (and is more) like popular long-rad journalism than history. There's a bibliography at the end of the book, but there are no citations, and the interior references to primary sources is anemic, at best.

This book is gossipy but not salacious, newsy but not at all academically rigorous. It's the kind of book people chosen by those who want to know about interesting personal history but don't want to read actual, academically-vetted, history books. If that's your cup of tea, this book is well-written and easy to follow.

Personally, because I've studied a lot of history, I would have wanted (and expected) more depth, more reliance on primary resources, and more understanding of friendship rather than parallel existences, as seems to show up in most of the stories. In that way, the book is uneven. The book bills itself as being about the "powerful, unsung (and unelected) people who shaped our presidents, and while that's apt in a few of the later narratives (Truman, Kennedy, Clinton), it seems to miss the mark by a mile in others.

The book begins with Thomas Jefferson's friendship with James Madison. Perhaps I was disappointed because I have read so many books about the Founding Fathers, so I was expecting something I didn't already know. With the exception of Jefferson serving (and failing) Madison as a wingman when a (very) adult Madison sought a romance with a 16-year-old girl, and Madison pushing Jefferson to take some trips to get out of his own head, this seems very much the story of two colleagues. Famous ones, but not the kind of relationship where you have serious heart-to-heart talks. Further, they don't seem to have shaped each other's presidencies, policies, or anything else beyond listening to the other's opinion and mostly going their own way.

Franklin Pierce's reputation may have been shaped by Nathaniel Hawthorne (who wrote his official campaign biography), but these two pro-slavery New Englanders, while "friends" in the way people who don't really understand true friendship might define two men who get along with one another, I wouldn't say Hawthorne shaped Pierce in any way. (Pierce shaped Hawthorne a bit, in keeping him financially afloat at a few essential periods.)

While Lincoln and Joshua Speed did enjoy, in youth, what one would recognize as a friendship, their relationship over decades was uneven. It resembles a situation where at least one, if not both, members of a relationship are clinging to history for fear of letting go of a defining identity, rather than any ongoing value they received from one another. When you don't talk to your BFF for years at a time, and don't even write, there's some serious question as to whether you're even still friends anymore!

There's no doubt from the chapter on Woodrow Wilson and Colonel House that House did, indeed, shape Wilson and his presidency, though I'm dubious of the description as a friendship rather than a mentorship or even puppeteering.

The chapter at which I am most agog is the one on FDR and Daisy Suckley. First, I absolutely disagree with the author siding with the historians who do not believe Suckley was one of FDR's lovers. He even quotes a passage from Suckley's diary after she spent a day and night alone with him, "The President is a man — mentally, physically & spiritually. What more can I say?"

You'd need to be fairly naive to believe all of the things the author includes in the chapter were not signs of a sexual relationship, especially given what we know about FDR's proclivities. A lover can be a friend, and with a nod to When Harry Met Sally, men and women can be friends, but there is nothing in the recap of Suckley's relationship with FDR to incline any historian to consider this a friendship that shaped his presidency. At most, because she became an archivist at his presidential library, one can say she shaped his legacy after the fact. And while she was unsung, she certainly was not powerful.

Nixon famously held Bebe Rebozo in high esteem, but the oddness of their often-silent, occasionally alcohol-infused relationship is no less a mystery after reading the chapter than it was when I began, and I'm dubious that I would have called such a relationship a "friendship" in the truest sense. But ah, male friendships. They're a mess. And one would be hard-pressed to pick someone else as Nixon's friend; a different president might have been a more interesting choice. However, Nixon is Ginsberg's sole Republican chapter of the 20th century, and it makes sense that he'd pick such a famous friendship rather than avoiding all Republican stories. (Still, perhaps George H.W. Bush's 60-year friendship with James Baker might have been a better pick?)

Indeed, the further I read into this book, the more I came to realize that this is, once again, a sign that men and women see friendships very differently. In all of the preceding cases, had the persons involved been women, I'd have called the relationships mentorships, acquaintances, collegial interactions; none of these (with the exception of the early years of bedmates Lincoln and Speed, and the ending years of Pierce and Hawthorne) are what women (or psychologists) would be likely to call friendships.

Ginsberg is most persuasive about the existence of real friendship, and especially ones shaping a president, in his retelling of aspects of the lives of later presidents. In looking at Harry Truman and Eddie Jacobsen, we are shown a lifelong relationship spanning Truman's adulthood, his professional growth, and his complex relationship with the formation and recognition of Israel. Similarly, it's very clear that JFK's short life was imbued with both personal and professional opportunities through the intellectual and emotional friendship he shared with David Ormsby-Gore. And there's no doubt that Vernon Jordan and Bill Clinton enjoyed not only a deep and abiding friendship, but one that did, indeed, shape the latter's presidency.

Social scientists have done a great deal of research on the differences between men's and women's friendships. For men, it's often based on a few similar interests and grows by participating in those shared interests; for women, it's developing a commonality of feelings based on sharing stories of experiences, understanding the powerful emotions related to those experiences, and then supporting one another going forward. As such, I found much of the book to be describing relationships that I'd only weakly recognize as real friendships.

As someone who usually reads deeper histories, I got the sense that Ginsberg (as more of a journalist than a historian) chose these presidencies because he targeted the drama of the stories (readily available through the work of other historians) rather than focusing on psychologically invested friendships as an academic historian might. And that might be satisfying for some people as readers, but for me, I turned page after page, looking for something that looked like what I would call a real friendship to make me care about these individuals as humans and not characters from history. Eventually, I skipped multiple chapters to jump to the one about Truman and Jacobson (knowing it would offer a real tale of friendship) and then went back to where I'd left off.

However, I take greater issue with the notion that (aside from the three non-Nixon, post-war presidencies he covers) these are relationships that shaped or defined the presidents at all. Either Harry Hopkins or Louis McHenry Howe would seem to have been better picks than Daisy Suckley as a presidential friend, and one who contributed to FDR's presidential identity.

Ginsberg is an engaging writer, and any one of these chapters would make a compelling long-read. It just lacked the depth I would have preferred. Had the book promised presidential friendships and not stories of people who were powerful enough to shape presidencies, I might have had different expectations.

[Dr. Lloyd E. Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fun book. Aside from Thomas Jefferson’s best friend James Madison this is a collection of some of the most influential Americans you have never heard of. The people discussed are accountable to no one unless they break the law, have more influence than most cabinet people. I appreciated the wide range of people presented by the author. I’m tempted to discuss each one. Instead, I’ll mention in the broadest of terms a smidgen of each President cited. Think of this as a taste to get you to read this book. Thomas Jefferson would be arrested today if he had urged James Madison to follow Jefferson’s lead. Franklin Pierce kept his more famous First Friend from starving. These people had opposite opinions on most of the important issues of their time. Abraham Lincoln’s First Friend saved his life more than once. Woodrow Wilson’s First Friend may have shaped Woodrow Wilson’s policy more than Wilson did. F.D.R.’s First Friend is the only woman on the list. Harry Truman’s First Friend, according to the author, only asked Truman one favor in their forty year friendship. The one favor had an enormous historical impact. John Kennedy,s First Friend was his brother Bobby, even if the author wants to cast someone else in this role. Richard Nixon had the strangest relationship with his First Friend. Of all the presidents listed in this book, I thought Nixon’s relationship was the most difficult for me to understand. Finally, Bill Clinton almost destroyed the public life of his First Friend, an unintentional outcome Clinton suffered from as much as anything during and immediately after his presidency.
I hope this wets your whistle enough to read this book. For me it was a fun read.

[Bargain Sleuth Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

For this and other book reviews, visit www.bargain-sleuth.com

Presidents face tons of pressure every day they are in office. Who do they rely upon, outside of their senior advisors and cabinet members, to help them get through the days? Their best friends, who are almost never in the aforementioned groups. But how much is known about these men? Not much until now. First Friends: The Powerful, Unsung (And Unelected) People Who Shaped Our Presidents (Amazon) was offered to me by NetGalley and Hachette Book Group in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

After I finished First Friends and reading the acknowledgements, I had the impression that Ginsburg secured an interview with the Clintons and then came up with the idea of turning the conversation into a book. After researching a little more, I found out the author is a former aide to Clinton, so that totally makes sense. The friendship between Bill Clinton and Vernon Jordan takes up over 15% of the book, while the other presidential relationships got less than 10%. That’s not saying the section on Clinton and Jordan was bad; in fact, it was the most enlightening because there are first hand accounts from the actual players in the game.

However, as a former Clinton aide, one imagines this book might have a bias, and it does. Democrats good, Republicans bad. That is, when Republicans are even featured. Lincoln and Nixon are the only Republicans mentioned, and their chapters are not that well fleshed out. Which is frustrating, but I get it: this book was written by a journalist, not a historian. However, as a former journalist, I know that it is possible to check your opinions at the door and write objectively. But even with that, there are contradictions, like when discussing FDR, the author states, “in little more than three months, the Roosevelt administration had laid the groundwork for the American welfare state.”

That’s not to say that the stories told aren’t interesting, they certainly are. I especially found the relationship between John F. Kennedy and David Ormsby-Gore interesting in that I have read more than 50 books on the Kennedys and the only time I’ve previously seen Ormsby-Gore mentioned was in books about Kennedy’s sister, Kathleen. How could so many other historians have missed, according to Ginsburg, such an important relationship? From my previous reading, I was always under the impression that Lem Billings, his childhood friend, was closest to him. Or maybe the “Irish Mafia” of Dave Powers and Kenny O’Donnell, who advised the president for twenty years. But the author argues that JFK actually had many intimates, but it was Ormsby-Gore that he really could unwind with, could discuss foreign policy, and it helped that Ormsby-Gore was appointed Great Britain’s ambassador to the United States while Kennedy was in office.

Another interesting relationship that I knew about from previous reading was the one between Franklin Roosevelt and his seventh cousin, Daisy Suckley (pronounced Book-ly). FDR had few people with which he would share his innermost feelings. His father was older, ill, and died by the time Franklin was in college, and he had a fiercely protective mother, so it was only natural that Roosevelt’s most important relationships came with women.

Franklin couldn’t unwind with Eleanor, who was pretty tightly wound and felt like she was wasting precious time if she enjoyed herself. He had an intimate relationship with Eleanor’s social secretary, Lucy Mercer, that Eleanor found out about and put the ky-bosh on in 1918. There was Missy LeHand, Roosevelt’s private secretary, who was by Franklin’s side for 20 years until she was crippled by a stroke. And her replacement, Grace Tully, but it was with Daisy that Franklin really opened up, and even though Daisy always stayed out of the limelight, she was smart enough to keep their correspondence, but didn’t tell anyone about it. Their relationship was only discovered after her death in 1991.

There are some really revealing passages in the letters between the two: “Do you know that you alone have known that I was a bit ‘cast down’ these past weeks. I couldn’t have let anyone else know it–but somehow I seem to tell you all those things and what I don’t happen to tell you, you seem to know anyway.” Daisy held a special place to the president’s heart, it is clear. In fact, there are only four known photographs of FDR in a wheelchair, and two of those were taken by Daisy Suckley.

There’s a fawning chapter on Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, both of whom were great statesman but were also duplicitous, back-stabbing, and hypocritical. And the chapter on Wilson and Colonel House was interesting, if only to drive home the fact that Wilson wasn’t as great of a president as some believe. (Wilson really has no chance with me for ever liking him; he re-segregated the federal government and was against women’s suffrage until it became clear that the tide had turned at the state level and in Congress).

Overall, this is an interesting read on a previously unexplored area of the presidents.

[Gilda Felt · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting, though sometimes simplistic look at the best friends of some presidents. I didn’t feel that there was much depth to some of the writer’s take on some of these friendships. Still, I enjoyed learning some new things. Such as:

Jefferson & Madison
I didn’t realize that these two were such good friends. All I ever read about was Jefferson’s relationship with Adams, and Adams’ last words: Thomas Jefferson still survives (he didn’t; he had died five hours earlier.)

Pierce and Hawthorne
As the author noted, Nathaniel Hawthorn is the only First Friend to be better known that the man he befriended. Which is probably for the best, since Pierce was a terrible president, his actions moving the country closer to war. His friendship with Hawthorne was interesting, though ultimately, tragic.

Lincoln and Speed
Though they met later in life (Lincoln was in his thirties,) their friendship was deep, Lincoln looking at Speed as his best friend, even his soulmate. Which, along with them sharing a room, later gave rise to the rumor that there was more between them. But rumor is all it is. Nothing has even been found to substantiate it.

Wilson and House
I’m not sure if what these two men had was truly a friendship, since it basically only encompassed the years Wilson was in the White House. For House, the friendship seemed more as a stepping stone to power. Wilson, on the other hand, was too cold, rigid, and unforgiving to do the work a friendship often entails.

FDR and Suckley
Daisy Suckley may have been what was at the time called an old maid, (regardless what some think, it seems that, not only did she not have a sexual relationship with FDR, but probably wasn’t intimate with anyone,) she would lead a fascinating and thoroughly interesting life. All because of her friendship with FDR. It does happen from time to time, that two people mesh so thoroughly that a deep and abiding friendship is inevitable. That seems to be the case with these two. And their story is both interesting and moving. Together, they made history.

Truman and Jacobson
I was surprised to learn that Truman had a best friend. I don’t know a lot about the man, but what little I’ve read he didn’t appear to be very likable.

Kennedy and Ormsby-Gore
The type of person we have as a best friend can say a lot about the type of person we are. Jack Kennedy’s best friend seemed to have been as extraordinary as he was.

Nixon and Rebozo
It’s odd that such a well-known friendship should be so little known. Nixon, the loner, and Bebe, the extrovert. It shouldn’t have worked, but somehow it did.

Clinton and Jordon
Because of all the scandals that surrounded Clinton, some real, some created by enemies, Jordon would pay for being Clinton’s best friend. Yet, though it all, he stuck it out and stayed squarely by Clinton side.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

We know that the people with whom a president surrounds himself can have a huge impact on his presidency, whether they be advisors or cabinet secretaries. Less well known, but potentially equally influential are the close friends the president has known prior to his presidency. Some friendships were formed early in adulthood, while others only came about at the start of a presidential run. In First Friends, Gary Ginsberg looks at nine relationships, starting shortly after the War for Independence in the late 18th century. Some are sad, even tragic, though others are (frankly) scary. Some first friends were long time companions, who were there simply because of the friendship, while at least one wanted power and maneuvered themselves into the candidate’s inner circle. Not every friendship in this book is the same, and not every friendship ended amicably or with death.

This is an informative tome, yet easy to read with each tale broken into segments. Readers will recognize some names, but not others. It’s plain that trusted friends weren’t afraid to share their honest opinions, regardless of the consequences. This includes the division that formed between Lincoln and Speed, after the latter shockingly said he would rather “see the Union dissolved than to surrender his constitutional right to own human property.” I think I might’ve ditched that friend as well. Ginsberg relies on a variety of sources, from letters and journals to interviews with the main players in the chapter on Bill Clinton and Vernon Jordan. There’s an extensive biography for each chapter, as well as a general index.

Speaking of Clinton and Jordan… Ginsberg notes in his acknowledgements that he first came up with the idea of this book back in 2018. But the final paragraphs are about a scene which took place just six months ago. It’s when Bill Clinton spoke at Vernon Jordan’s funeral. It’s a poignant moment and is the perfect point at which to close out this fascinating work.

Disclaimer: I borrowed this book from a library. Support your local library.

[Mimi Pockross · Rating 5 out of 5]

At a time when the current state of our democracy is on trial, I found this book to be very useful in bringing to the fore the intricacies of the position of president of the United States. How clever of the author to bring some insight into this topic by showing several presidents's friendships and the influence they had on the president being discussed. The fact that Franklin Pierce, a relatively obscure president was covered along with some of the more lauded presidents was helpful in revealing what traits work and don't work when it comes to leading. I also found that the loyalty the "first friends" displayed and that as Mr. Ginsburg says in his title were "unsung" showed how lucky these men were to have such self-deprecating individuals around them. The most troubling to me of all was the relationship between Woodrow Wilson and Colonel House. The most interesting was that a writer (since I am one, though way way less on the excellence scale) could have such a close relationship with a president as in the case of Franklin Pierce and Nathaniel Hawthorne's friendship. Of course, the friendships of Lincoln, FDR and Clinton were revealing. I especially liked the profile of Vernon Jordan, President Clinton's longtime friend. All in all, I enjoyed Mr. Ginsberg's refreshing "take."

[Robert Broder · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book verified what I've suspected for years, that people of power, whether it be political or financial, need at least one friend that will speak the truth to them. People in these positions always feel that whomever they meet, want something from them, not simply their friendship. Most have a childhood friend or friends who knew them before they had anything, or came from a background of equal footing and didn't need favors or influence.
People of vast influence usually need one person in their life that will tell them the unvarnished truth, and can't be fired for doing so. They need that one person they can trust to not pull any punches when they screw up and need to be told so.
As the author said in an interview, he wanted to add Trump to this book, but he could not find that one friend in his life because they don't exist. Trump is such a galactic narcissist that he needs to have power over everyone in his sphere, and that doesn't leave an opening for close relationships.
Ginsberg gave the reader a good, though brief synopsis of each of the players in these relationships, allowing us to understand how the relationships developed.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gary Ginsberg crafts nine interesting accounts of commanders-in-chief and a close friend of each in First Friends: The Powerful, Unsung (and Unelected) People Who Shaped Our Presidents. Each chapter is about 30 pages and it's easy to skip around the decades if a reader decides to save a president or two for later. Men who've become president seem to "marry up" and several do something similar with their choice of best friend. Perhaps these besties did well in the world of business and politics because of their discretion, compassion and resources. Only Nathaniel Hawthorne was more of a public figure than his close friend Franklin Pierce.

Of the nine presidents, a surprising number were subject to depression. Their friends brought some sunshine whether it was needed because of biology, tragedy, or the challenges of the job. Ginsberg is a fine writer and provides a bibliography even the pickiest of readers might desire. My only disagreement with Ginsberg, who makes it clear from the start that wives are not under consideration, is that I truly believe Lady Bird Johnson was LBJ's best friend. The same can be said of Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter, but he isn't one of Ginsberg's nine.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this book when the author was doing the talk show rounds upon publication. I liked learning things about presidents I knew little about. My favorite among the 9 presidents was President Pierce and his friend Nathaniel Hawthorne, partly because I knew nothing about Pierce and partly because the country then (just prior to the Civil War) seemed so familiar as a divided country. I drew so many parralels between the way people were behaving then and now.

I had some issue with the writing style, the author jumped back and forth in time quite frequently and I often got lost and had to go back and readjust too many times. But on the other hand, it's a very readable book, and of course you can choose to read only the chapters that describe the presidents you are most interested in. The presidents included are Jefferson, Pierce, Lincoln, Wilson, FDR, Truman, Kennedy, Nixon and Clinton.