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How Are You, Really?: Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time

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Forget hustle harder. Forget a mandatory 5 a.m. wake-up. Forget outlining your life plan in six-month, one-year, and five-year spans. We're living in a cultural shift as we reframe our perspectives around the purpose of work, what work/life balance really means, and how we want to spend our time on this planet. In her first book, Jenna Kutcher—entrepreneur, photographer, influencer, teacher, mom, and host of the wildly popular Goal Digger podcast—shares her philosophy on how to live a life that exists outside the tired cliché of “having it all.” How Are You, Really? is about taking a moment to soak up the richness of our experiences and creating a life that makes room for more actual living.

When Jenna Kutcher was 23, she left her corporate job, bought a camera on Craigslist for $300, and started her own business as a wedding photographer. From that single investment in herself, she built a successful company, a thriving podcast, and a beautiful brand. But her driving force has never been about working harder/smarter/faster/better. What Jenna Kutcher embraces is the simple notion that we, women especially, crave lives of fulfillment.

Divided into three sections, How Are You, Really? is a guide to creating such a life.

In Part One: Who You Are, Jenna uses stories from her childhood, some career false starts, her marriage and path to motherhood, and more to show how to crystallize your sense of your own identity. Because how can you know what you really, truly want out of your future if you don’t see yourself clearly in the present? In Part Two: Who You Have, and Who Has You, Jenna shows the benefits of a support system, how mentorship and kindness can come in surprising ways and from surprising sources, and how to build your own authentic community. In Part Three: What You’re Going to Do About It, Jenna guides you through illustrations from her career on how to turn your deepest dream into a life that brings success, joy, and—most importantly--the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. We all want, simply put, a life well-lived.

So, ask yourself the question you’ve been avoiding.

How are you, really?

It’s time to find your answer, and start living.

317 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 28, 2022

1036 people are currently reading
9133 people want to read

About the author

Jenna Kutcher

15 books68 followers

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5 stars
1,285 (32%)
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1,289 (32%)
3 stars
954 (24%)
2 stars
298 (7%)
1 star
84 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 437 reviews
Profile Image for Robyn Faryna.
127 reviews17 followers
August 8, 2022
Just another 'guru' cashing in on the self-help game.

Sure, most of the advice giving wasn't bad - but none of it was original; and you had to dig through mounds of rubbish to get to the friggin point.

This book read more like a self-righteous memoir full of humble bragging. Reminds me of someone else you might know... *cough* Rachel Hollis *cough*

Would I recommend this book? Maybe? Depends on the person, but even then... there's better books out there.

1 review
August 4, 2022
I literally created an account so I could poorly rate this book. It was heavily marketed as "never before heard stories" yet if you're an avid podcast listener like I was, I've heard just about every single story shared in the book. In general, the content was very light and not a lot of truly tangible and actionable advice like other self help books have. Every chapter ended with "go to my website for more." I'd rather the author actually TELL ME more in the book, the book that I paid for. The general repetitive theme of the book was "I tried something new and was amazing at it! Everything worked out for me so you should try!" Overall, as a podcast listener for years, I was immensely disappointed not only in the book, but just in general her entire brand has left a bad taste in my mouth after reading this book.
Profile Image for Rowan's Bookshelf (Carleigh).
656 reviews60 followers
August 24, 2022
So I had no idea who this woman was when I picked up this book, I was just genuinely interested in learning how to better listen to myself.

Instead I found a memoir masquerading as a self-help book that was filled with Nothing. I do not care about this woman's personal experience (no knocking if you do, I guess I'm just not the audience) so I didn't really get anything out of it. The actual advice in this is incredibly generic and really focused on the #Girlboss upper middle class problems. Literally, their budgeting advice is "dine in instead of going out to eat." and listening to yourself includes getting off of instagram and sitting in the park instead. I'm entirely convinced her clout is the only reason this was published.

It wasn't horrendous by any means, I wouldn't say it's straight out bad advice, just nothing more than a generic suggestion one would find embroidered on a pillow or in a dove chocolate wrapper.
1 review
April 23, 2022
Yes, yes, yes. I’ve been following Jenna for a few years now and she is refreshing and says everything you wish peopl were actually saying. This book is so her in a nutshell! I could her her voice speaking to me… I can’t wait for the audio version too ♥️
Profile Image for Casey.
3 reviews205 followers
August 7, 2022
A refreshing reminder to live your life according to what REALLY matters to you. Wish I’d had this book earlier in my life to avoid the burnout I experienced as an entrepreneur and mom!
Profile Image for Carly Antor.
8 reviews3 followers
May 17, 2022
The book "How Are You, Really?" is full of insights from Jenna Kutcher on how to approach life more thoughtfully, in ways that support the type of life you truly want. Jenna's words feel like they're from a lifelong friend, who's just a few steps ahead of you and can encourage you as you forge ahead on your own path. I appreciate Jenna's thoughts on entrepreneurship, marriage, motherhood, and defining what success means for oneself. This book was a joy to read!
Profile Image for Christie Maliyackel.
790 reviews5 followers
December 31, 2022
Gosh, I wish I wasn’t ending my year of books on a low point, but I just could NOT get into this book. I found the author so I un-relatable, with the storyline framed around an “it all will work out if you just dream big enough” narrative. I couldn’t unsee the inherent privileges of her lifestyle that allow her the flexibility to lead the “life of her dreams”, and I think that’s a huge oversight in the author’s sensitivity, self awareness and overall relatability.
1 review
May 1, 2022
I really enjoyed reading this book. If you’ve listened to the Goal Digger Podcast, you know how relaxed and easy it is to listen to Jenna. This book was no different. Easy to follow, easy to digest, and encouraging to the heart. I appreciated the honest approach Jenna took which included encouraging some real self reflection beyond just “do what makes you happy.” I also appreciate the way she encourages the reader to move forward in life and towards their goals while still being sensitive to the fact that everybody’s timeline in life is so different. I would recommend this book to anybody who’s feeling stuck in life or who is dissatisfied with themself. This book will help you reach new mountain tops!
Profile Image for Cornelia Baum.
1 review
June 14, 2022
‘How Are You, Really?’ Is an inspirational book that is both thought provoking, and gives permission to let speak and feel your truth! Jenna’s words speak to my heart at a tender time.
She has been a mentor of mine for a few years and she pours her soul into everything she does. And this book is nothing short of that same dedication.
This is a must read and hope that it starts more conversations on ‘How Are You, Really?’ Because it’s needed more than ever and long over due.
Profile Image for Erica.
1 review
May 11, 2022
By adding one word to a question it can change the context so profoundly.

Every chapter is divinely created to stack on one concept to the next. A soul filled journey ushering you to make those links in your own life to evolve into a better version of yourself.

I love how Jenna layers In personal stories that uplift and paint the picture of optimism, possibility and finding yourself.
What I took away from reading it is, be present in your life, be present for the people that matter around you and live whole heartedly.
Profile Image for Gariele Wright.
87 reviews1 follower
December 22, 2022
You know how some meetings could have been an email? Well, this book could have been an Instagram caption. Call me jaded but the further I go into online business, the more I start to notice how every pursuit is a cog in the machine & another way to market and monetize. This book was no different. It was basically her privileged and curated life story, with lots of calls to action to visit her website / join her email list.
6 reviews2 followers
May 1, 2022
Jenna had me at Go!!! This book was so light and refreshing I felt like she was sitting across from me on the sofa asking me How are you?…really…. Let’s talk. Grab a cup of coffee, sit in your most comfortable chair and start reading this book. You are going to want to get one for your best friend. It’s that good.
719 reviews9 followers
March 11, 2022
I loved this... so inspiring!
Profile Image for Leandra.
70 reviews
August 5, 2022
It honestly could have been a blog post. Nothing earth shattering or new.
Profile Image for alexa love.
125 reviews
June 27, 2023
Successful white women somehow feel qualified to write these inspirational books because they beat corporate life and pursued their passion successfully. They all start to sound the same, to be honest. It always includes some regrets of working in corporate life and “pursuing their passion” and turning their hobbies into income and become somehow wildly successful as a photographer or artist even though thousands of people try that (and fail) every day.

She’s faced struggles too, I don’t want to say that she didn’t work hard for her success. But when describing how she achieved the success, it just sounds like motivational quotes one after another.

When she talked about stopping drinking in college and joining a bible study I knew this wasn’t the right guide for me.

She sounds nice and also very lucky. Not very relatable to me though
1 review13 followers
March 7, 2025
Everything Jenna puts into the world is thoughtful, genuine, and oh, so relatable. "How Are You, Really?" is no exception. We all want to feel understood, and this book causes plenty of she-gets-me smiles, head nods, and brain tingles. Written by someone who has actually done the work to create a life that serves her (and done much of that work publicly), this book is the hand-in-hand guide you need to do the work, too. High fives right back atcha, Jenna Kutcher!
Profile Image for Simone.
1 review1 follower
June 22, 2022
This is definitely one of those “can’t put it down until I’m finished” type of books. If you have listened to Jenna’s podcast, Goal Digger, you’ll be able to hear her friendly, enthusiastic and smiley voice while you read it. Full of insights and inspiration, from business to personal growth, it feels like a heart to heart conversation with a good old friend.
Profile Image for Erin Bartels.
30 reviews5 followers
August 29, 2022
What Jenna has built is impressive, but this was wholly unrelatable.
Profile Image for Jessica McCoy.
69 reviews12 followers
July 22, 2022
I’ve followed Jenna for a while, through her podcasts and Instagram she’s given us so much inspiration. I felt like the book was an extension of the podcast. Her voice narrated the whole thing in my head because it truly feels written in her words.

I will say that it bounces around a lot and can be hard to navigate. One minute your in Hawaii with her and the next your in her childhood gymnastics class. It’s a bit chaotic. I wish there was more of a smooth storyline. One paragraph your reading about her, the next your wading about someone else, and then the next theres five paragraphs all reiterating the same message. It begins to feel very repetitive in between her small personal stories.

I understand she wasn’t writing an autobiography so that could explain a bit of the chaos. Like she was too focused on it not being an autobiography that she cut out so much of what could have made her story resonate more. We’d be taken to a hugely personal event in her life and then it would cut to the same repetitive messages.

I also felt like the constant plugs to her website were unnecessary. Yes, after the 7 note, we definitely know where to go for more info.

All around a motivating book but would have loved to see more of Jenna’s personal experiences vs her judgment on other peoples decisions and the constant repetition.
1 review
June 16, 2022
This book took way longer to read than I first imagined…

…and it’s entirely due to the fact that I kept having to stop and truly absorb the pure gold in its pages.

The statements that hit me right in my heart. The insights that kept lighting up my mind. The dreams that became clearer the more I read.

And with my dreams becoming clearer whilst reading this book, I started working towards (not just thinking about) a big dream that I have had in my mind for some time. I have only the vaguest idea of how to make this dream real at the moment but I know my 5 year old self would wholeheartedly be up to finding out and making it happen.

Tell me I’m not the only one who needs to take time to think every 2 pages (or 2 lines) when they read a really good book 😄💕
4 reviews4 followers
June 20, 2022
This book is honest, vulnerable, and a refreshing challenge to live our lives fully. Jenna has a way of making you feel like you are talking to a friend about the deepest areas of your life and where you aren’t stepping authentically into who you want to be.
-Monique
2 reviews
June 20, 2022
This book was a breath of fresh air. What I love about this book is that it feels like you are having a coffee chat with a good friend. It is so real, authentic, and genuine. Jenna’s story is inspiring and relatable. I underlined an excessive amount of takeaways in this first 50 pages alone!
1 review
June 21, 2022
Real and raw, Jenna’s approach to every day experiences makes reading this book feel like sitting on the coziest couch with your closet friend. Glass of wine in hand, having a true, honest and genuine talk about YOU!

“How Are You Really” is both a warm hug and a serious of questions to get you to remember what’s at the core of everything. It’s something we “think” we do but Jenna points out how much we don’t do for ourselves that we should.

Jenna’s ability to slide past the surface and dig into the root of our desires in this book will have you dreaming big again. The way you should be. Whether that’s personal, professional or anything in between.

If you’re looking to be more centered, more fulfilled, have more creativity and overall love yourself - then finishing this book will bring a new found outlook on today, the moments it contains and how we can truly make the most out of what’s right in front of you.
Profile Image for A.J. Day.
2 reviews
June 20, 2022
I am usually not a personal development book person (I try to fulfill development through podcasts) but I could not put this book down! Even through the first chapter, so many points were resonating with me and made me approach things in life a little bit different. Anyone out there could take something from this book. We all get in the routine of “how are you? Good!” As an autopilot answer, without taking a step back and actually figuring out… “how am I, Really?” This is a book that you could go back to in different seasons of life and re-read. I am recommending to all of my friends!
Profile Image for Laura Seitz.
1 review
June 21, 2022
If you want to maintain a surface-level relationship with yourself and those around you, then this is not your book. If you want to explore the profound, then grab a journal, a pen, and a copy of "How are you, really?"

I love the reflection prompts and found myself pondering questions I've never asked myself before.
1 review
June 18, 2022
How are you really? is a deep book. This is what healing sounds like to me. Healing from all the messaging we’ve absorbed from our childhoods that hasn’t served us well as women. As an entrepreneur I’ve found myself nodding along to so many heartfelt issues Jenna uncovers and also learning new perspectives. I’m in awe of how Jenna has managed to create a framework for rediscovering who you are afresh and using that as your superpower if you like, to serve others. Highly recommended!
3 reviews
June 18, 2022
Jenna covers all of the topics we need to be talking about and asks the tough questions we need to answer for ourselves!

She brings light to hard topics and makes you feel not so alone. Hearing her stories along with the lesson makes it easy to digest the book in the best way possible.

If you’re ready to live a more fulfilling life this book if for you!
Profile Image for Anna Langenfeld.
23 reviews
March 25, 2023
In all honesty, I could not finish this book. I bought it because of Jenna's successful life and I thought that maybe I could learn something from it. Instead, it's full of cliches and lots of "success" stories that only come if you are privileged in some way. It isn't inspiring to read tips from someone who has been able to get a high paying job right away and could afford to leave the job because she wasn't "fulfilled." It would read a lot differently if she had pivoted from a job at McDonald's while barely affording rent.

I think only the Rachel Hollis fans will like this book. If you are NOT a Rachel Hollis fan, stay away.
1 review
June 14, 2022
I'm not finished yet but this book is everything my soul needed in this season of life & more! I felt so seen when I read, "You're going to have to walk slowly in the direction of yourself, one small step at a time." These beautiful words reminded me I am exactly where I need to be & that it's OK to slow down & take one step at a time. I am excited to take Jenna's advice to rest, trust the ping, enjoy the present moment & align with my values to create the life I want without risking my health & what matters most. I can't wait to finish this book & gift to a family member or friend.
Profile Image for Kelly Nickell.
16 reviews
June 28, 2022
As a working mama of little kiddos, Jenna has been someone I’ve loved following in recent years. I was so excited to hear she wrote a book, and I can tell you, not only did it not disappoint- it was even better than I could have imagined. I absolutely devoured it- every chapter will leave you inspired and motivated to create, visualize and go after your dreams. She writes in a way that feels like she’s your best friend right there talking to you, it’s the best book I have read in a long time!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 437 reviews

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