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The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology – A Transformative Practical Guide to Navigating Daily Difficulties with Inner Resources
Now in paperback, this practical guide to cultivating compassion delivers Buddhist and psychological insight right where we need it most—navigating the difficulties of our daily lives. Compassion is often seen as a distant, altruistic ideal cultivated by saints, or as an unrealistic response of the naively kind-hearted. Seeing compassion in this way, we lose out on experiencing the transformative potential of one of our most neglected inner resources. Dr Lorne Ladner rescues compassion from this marginalised view, showing how its practical application in our life can be a powerful force in achieving happiness. Combining the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism and Western psychology, Ladner presents clear, effective practices for cultivating compassion in daily living.
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
134 people are currently reading
1593 people want to read
About the author
Lorne Ladner
11 books6 followersLorne Ladner, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Dr. Ladner also provides workshops and trainings on the psychology of positive emotions, the integration of meditation and psychotherapy, and on Buddhist psychology. Dr. Ladner has served as an adjunct faculty member in the counseling program at the American School of Professional Psychology, where he taught graduate-level courses in Developmental Psychology, Personality Theories, and Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
September 10, 2012
This book is literally life-changing. I'm a Christian, but the ideas on how to carry out day to day living presented in this book on Buddhism have helped me live out Christian ideals in my own life more than any of the Christian publishing house books that I have ever read.
Lorne Ladner is a Buddhist and a psychologist, and this book is a fantastic marriage of both. He addresses everything from how to be happier to how to "love your neighbor" to how to embrace changes in life to how to let go of anger/frustration/unhappiness/negativity. Finding contentment, finding peace... it's all there. What an amazing book. Happiness is something you can DO. It's something you can LEARN. I loved this book so much I literally now own two copies - one on my Kindle (and I practically "underlined" passages on every single page, and I'm not exaggerating) and I've also ordered a print version.
Lorne Ladner is a Buddhist and a psychologist, and this book is a fantastic marriage of both. He addresses everything from how to be happier to how to "love your neighbor" to how to embrace changes in life to how to let go of anger/frustration/unhappiness/negativity. Finding contentment, finding peace... it's all there. What an amazing book. Happiness is something you can DO. It's something you can LEARN. I loved this book so much I literally now own two copies - one on my Kindle (and I practically "underlined" passages on every single page, and I'm not exaggerating) and I've also ordered a print version.
June 20, 2012
Even though author Lorne Ladner is Buddhist and combines concepts from his spiritual practice with professional psychological guidance, you don't have to be Buddhist to find value in his words. This book is a beautiful blend of East and West that truly gets to the heart of how the implementation of compassion in one's life can lead to happiness.
Essentially, Ladner presents compassion as a vital part of psychological stability and viable spiritual practice. Smoothly written, this book plunges right to the heart of daily living and shows how working on relationships of all kinds through the use of compassion ends up being beneficial to all.
Ladner uses examples from his own life and offers readers very practical exercises in the enhancement of their compassionate outlooks. These sample chapter titles give you a taste for what he has to say: “Compassion for Yourself”; “Seeing Through Projections”; and “Joyfully Losing an Argument”.
To be perfectly honest, I found this book of such tremendous value that I took all the underlining I did in it and created a little mini-handbook that I still refer to periodically. The author's words rang so true for me that I occasionally send quotes from his work out over Twitter. In closing, I'll leave you with these words from Ladner, my favorite:
"Heartfelt kindness toward someone who has just treated you badly has the clean, pure feeling of a cool creek in the high mountains."
Essentially, Ladner presents compassion as a vital part of psychological stability and viable spiritual practice. Smoothly written, this book plunges right to the heart of daily living and shows how working on relationships of all kinds through the use of compassion ends up being beneficial to all.
Ladner uses examples from his own life and offers readers very practical exercises in the enhancement of their compassionate outlooks. These sample chapter titles give you a taste for what he has to say: “Compassion for Yourself”; “Seeing Through Projections”; and “Joyfully Losing an Argument”.
To be perfectly honest, I found this book of such tremendous value that I took all the underlining I did in it and created a little mini-handbook that I still refer to periodically. The author's words rang so true for me that I occasionally send quotes from his work out over Twitter. In closing, I'll leave you with these words from Ladner, my favorite:
"Heartfelt kindness toward someone who has just treated you badly has the clean, pure feeling of a cool creek in the high mountains."
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June 19, 2012my mom gave me this book(!) for mother's day(!)
July 18, 2018
A must read for all :)
April 24, 2022
An essential read for anyone interested in developing lasting happiness and equanimity. Buddhist or not, Dr. Ladner’s expert but accessible presentation of Western psychology and Tibetan Buddhism creates a roadmap for increasing one’s capacity for compassion, and presents a compelling case for doing so. Absolutely wonderful
June 13, 2009
Recommended, but you're in for a journey.
This book draws connections between Western and Buddhist psychology as it introduces the concept of compassion, gently addressing common pitfalls before teaching practical strategies for developing and practicing compassion--first towards self, then towards others.
I had to read this book one chapter at a time, giving myself time to consider what I'd read and relate it to my life. But such reflective reading made a big difference in my life. Don't underestimate the importance of learning to be gentle with yourself, and the slow but radical changes that can follow.
I encountered this book on the shelf of a person who by nature found most people hard to read, which leads me to an unusual point raised by this book: empathy can be developed. We've each got our own natural store, but beyond that, we can learn. Use of the Buddhist assumption that we all want to be free from suffering helps to clarify impressions of others' feelings and motivations as well as our own, clearing the way to connecting and listening compassionately.
This book draws connections between Western and Buddhist psychology as it introduces the concept of compassion, gently addressing common pitfalls before teaching practical strategies for developing and practicing compassion--first towards self, then towards others.
I had to read this book one chapter at a time, giving myself time to consider what I'd read and relate it to my life. But such reflective reading made a big difference in my life. Don't underestimate the importance of learning to be gentle with yourself, and the slow but radical changes that can follow.
I encountered this book on the shelf of a person who by nature found most people hard to read, which leads me to an unusual point raised by this book: empathy can be developed. We've each got our own natural store, but beyond that, we can learn. Use of the Buddhist assumption that we all want to be free from suffering helps to clarify impressions of others' feelings and motivations as well as our own, clearing the way to connecting and listening compassionately.
December 14, 2017
I had to take my time reading this. Some of the concepts were new to me and make you question your self and motivations. Some slamming/speaking out against western society, the way our economy is focused on spending, advertising to buy & have high views of materialistic things were not untrue. It kind of compared Tibetan/Buddist views & beliefs against western views but very enlightening & useful. Definitely benefited from reading it.
March 20, 2022
I strongly believe that timing can make a huge difference on whether you like a book or not. In the case of this book, for myself, the timing was so right.
It’s not a book I went to get or that I expected reading but a friend of mine who had another book I wanted and was looking to part books she had piling up in her house slipped this one in with it.
The title was in line with the content I was open to and looking for and after reading the other book I wanted, I started flipping the pages of this book and I am so happy it crossed my path.
Being written by a Ph.D in psychology, the book was the right balance of spirituality, science and reason. So much in this book resonated with me and I have to say that it often created a discomfort for me, some anxiety, and I know this is the result of hitting it right on the nail for what I needed to read and act as a catalyst for changes in my life.
At the end of the day, it is a book and reading it alone won’t change your life overnight just like it did not mine. But I do think that this book brought informations, concepts and practices that if I use, I’ll be able to live a better life for it and part with suffering that is most definitely a making of my own.
For anyone hurting, lonely, hard on themselves or looking for ways to better accept and love yourself, I think this book is a must.
It’s not a book I went to get or that I expected reading but a friend of mine who had another book I wanted and was looking to part books she had piling up in her house slipped this one in with it.
The title was in line with the content I was open to and looking for and after reading the other book I wanted, I started flipping the pages of this book and I am so happy it crossed my path.
Being written by a Ph.D in psychology, the book was the right balance of spirituality, science and reason. So much in this book resonated with me and I have to say that it often created a discomfort for me, some anxiety, and I know this is the result of hitting it right on the nail for what I needed to read and act as a catalyst for changes in my life.
At the end of the day, it is a book and reading it alone won’t change your life overnight just like it did not mine. But I do think that this book brought informations, concepts and practices that if I use, I’ll be able to live a better life for it and part with suffering that is most definitely a making of my own.
For anyone hurting, lonely, hard on themselves or looking for ways to better accept and love yourself, I think this book is a must.
January 20, 2019
The author is a western psychologist and also a Tibetan Buddhist practitioner. I liked the west meets east approach as I experienced the other way around (coming from Asia to the west). I liked that the author used simple and easy language for reader to understand and relate.
January 24, 2018
<3 <3 <3
I hope to always have this book by my side and in my mind.
I hope to always have this book by my side and in my mind.
October 10, 2019
Creates self awareness and the effects of societal trends and norms. Eye opening!!
December 11, 2021
This is not a perfect book, but I won't dwell on the negatives. It is just the right book at the right time for me. Depending on how much you take from it and how much you can put the principles mentioned into practice, this book can be life-changing!
February 10, 2022
Truly a life changing book. Not only did it truly open my heart to compassion, but made me realize how narcissism is at the heart of all our struggles. An easy 5/5 from me.
November 6, 2022
Training for compassion
This is a very informative and enlightening book. This book is an inspiration to me and it will be part of my reference library for life!
This is a very informative and enlightening book. This book is an inspiration to me and it will be part of my reference library for life!
January 1, 2023
A thoughtful book when you feel down.
August 14, 2024
I started my morning with this book for weeks and it set me up for the day and put me in a wonderful mindset! Excellent book
September 5, 2024
Excellent book on Buddhist ideas and how to develop compassion
November 16, 2011
As my father passed away from cancer, I became intrigued with some of the spiritual books my father was reading. Among these books were several about Buddhism. Prior to my father's terminal illness (~6 years ago), I had never been tremendously spiritual. But something about the Buddhist books my father read resonated with me. Having pursued an undergraduate degree in psychology and struggling to find meaning and happiness in my own life, I came across this book.
For those interested in psychology alone, the Lost Art of Compassion is fascinating (and again this is coming from someone who majored in the field). But his synthesis of psychology and Buddhism is remarkable and tremendously enlightening. This is truly a fascinating read and very practical- he offers concrete exercises to cultivate greater compassion.
A year or so after my father's passing I had the opportunity meet Dr. Ladner in his Virginia office (he is a practicing psychologist in the DC-metro area). Dr. Ladner was very friendly and personable. In the time I resided in the DC area I came to appreciate the extent to which Dr. Ladner is involved in the thriving Buddhist community there. After reading The Lost Art of Compassion, I was tremendously impressed with Dr. Ladner's knowledge and pragmatism. Following our meeting and periodic exchanged emails, I can attest that Dr. Ladner does indeed embody the ideals of compassion and happiness he so successfully writes about.
Again, an excellent book. I've read many books on compassion, including those authored by Sharon Salzberg, Christopher Germer, and the Dalai Lama. Honestly this is one of the best books on the topic.
For those interested in psychology alone, the Lost Art of Compassion is fascinating (and again this is coming from someone who majored in the field). But his synthesis of psychology and Buddhism is remarkable and tremendously enlightening. This is truly a fascinating read and very practical- he offers concrete exercises to cultivate greater compassion.
A year or so after my father's passing I had the opportunity meet Dr. Ladner in his Virginia office (he is a practicing psychologist in the DC-metro area). Dr. Ladner was very friendly and personable. In the time I resided in the DC area I came to appreciate the extent to which Dr. Ladner is involved in the thriving Buddhist community there. After reading The Lost Art of Compassion, I was tremendously impressed with Dr. Ladner's knowledge and pragmatism. Following our meeting and periodic exchanged emails, I can attest that Dr. Ladner does indeed embody the ideals of compassion and happiness he so successfully writes about.
Again, an excellent book. I've read many books on compassion, including those authored by Sharon Salzberg, Christopher Germer, and the Dalai Lama. Honestly this is one of the best books on the topic.
August 9, 2011
What a wonderful book. It is written by a clinical psychologist out in Washington DC. He is also a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism. Across the book, he describes many similarities between Buddhism and Western psychology. He describes many useful techniques in developing compassion and love. The author provides many examples of Freudian and Object Relations Concepts and how they fit with compassion, suffering, desire, projection, and attachment. He also shows how combatting our narcism can make us more loving and real. I thought it was a phenomenal book. Its one of those books that you can probably read again and again while internalizing more and more of the richness that it contains. I loved it!
September 2, 2014
A wonderful and excellent guide to cultivating compassion in our daily lives! Dr Ladner defines compassion as "a state of mind that is peaceful or calm but also energetic, in which one feels a sense of confidence and also feels closeness with or affection for others and whishes that they may be from from suffering". Buddhism has always viewed compassion as the most important practice because a happy and meaningful life is determined not by anything external but rather by the quality of our minds and hearts. In this book, Dr Ladner shows how by applying compassion we can cultivate positive emotions and mental states. You don't have to be Buddhist to appreciate this book. Read this book if you want to attain well-being of mind and body.
July 12, 2013
The single most important book I have ever read in regards to positively impacting my life. I can't even think of the words to describe how powerful the meditations Ladner recommends are, if you do them consistently for months or years at a time. You will never be the same again...in the best ways possible. I mean powerful enough to treat or even cure some mental illnesses.
If you only want to read a few books in your life, read this and a handful of books by Thich Nhat Hahn. But read this first!
If you only want to read a few books in your life, read this and a handful of books by Thich Nhat Hahn. But read this first!
October 16, 2007
Not heavy on psych or buddhist terms. I really enjoyed the commonplace examples. He helped to explain situations in novel ways and decode concepts. His voice was neither preachy nor flaky. I especially appreciated the exercises of visualization/meditation. He even has a summary of these, as the last chapter, so there is no hunting for each one. Very nice for beginning as well as advanced practitioners.
January 28, 2009
Good book. Useful exercises to practice for finding your awareness and recognizing your impermanence. It's a book that requires a lot of time and energy to read well, because "reading" is really only 5% of actually reading the book.
I would say that this book did open my mind up to certain new "realities" and I would recommend it to the average person who wants to learn more about compassion.
I would say that this book did open my mind up to certain new "realities" and I would recommend it to the average person who wants to learn more about compassion.
September 7, 2013
Reading this book showed that the context of our lives is often important in how we perceive - and receive - a text. This book came at the right time for me, and quite my accident. The early chapters, which deal with self-compassion, show how limited and unrefined our concept of compassion is in the West. With a more refined view, we can begin to enjoy healthier interactions and relationships. Certainly, it's a very well-written book and I remember it as engaging and practical, too.
October 4, 2016
Written by a psychologist who takes on what he calls Eastern psychology. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. In most of the interactions I have in my life, I can think back to a chapter that helps me navigate those situations. If you really want to go deeper and meet people where they are, I highly recommend you read this book.
February 1, 2013
The Lost Art of Compassion could be a primer for both personal life and for helping clients. Lorne Ladner brings years as a Tibetan Buddhist practitioner and Buddhist psychologist, teacher and director of the Guhyasamaja Center in Virginia.
April 1, 2008
I like this book - there are a number of simple practical things that you can do to start practicing compassion in your own life.
September 24, 2008
This psychologist is a humanitarian, and Tibetan Buddhist practitioner. How to use Buddhist and psychological principles to create more happiness and enjoyment of life. So worthy I read it twice.
May 26, 2009
This is a fantastic book. It describes Buddhist teachings with psychological insight. I have reread most of the book and will be returning to it for a third time.
May 14, 2012
Absolutely fantastic book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews