Lost & Found: A Memoir

by Kathryn Schulz

"An extraordinary gift of a book, a tender, searching meditation on love and loss and what it means to be human. I wept at it, laughed with it, was entirely fascinated by it. I emerged feeling a little as if the world around me had been made anew."--Helen Macdonald, author of H Is for Hawk and Vesper Flights

Eighteen months before Kathryn Schulz's father died, she met the woman she would marry. In Lost & Found, she weaves the story of those relationships into a brilliant exploration of the role that loss and discovery play in all of our lives. The resulting book is part memoir, part guidebook to living in a world that is simultaneously full of wonder and joy and wretchedness and suffering--a world that always demands both our gratitude and our grief. A staff writer at The New Yorker and winner of the Pulitzer Prize, Schulz writes with curiosity, tenderness, erudition, and wit about our finite yet infinitely complicated lives. Lost & Found is an enduring account of love in all its many forms from one of the great writers of our time.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Grief, LGBT, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Biography

Audiobook

First published January 11, 2022

About the author

Kathryn Schulz is a staff writer at The New Yorker and the author of Lost & Found, forthcoming from Random House on January 11, 2022. She won a Pulitzer Prize and a National Magazine Award in 2015 for “The Really Big One,” an article about seismic risk in the Pacific Northwest. Lost & Found grew out of “Losing Streak,” which was originally published in The New Yorker and later anthologized in The Best American Essays. Her other essays and reporting have appeared in The Best American Science and Nature Writing, The Best American Travel Writing, and The Best American Food Writing. Her previous book is Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error. A native of Ohio, she lives with her family on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update …. I just noticed that this is $1.99 Kindall special today Great price - Terrific book!!


We have a strange and interesting relationships to grief…
don’t we?
Have you thought about it thoroughly?
I think about it often.

The author said…. (and I quote):
“In the beginning we fear that it will never end… then as time moves on we fear that it will”.

I could never say enough brilliant things about this brilliant book.

I have no idea who to recommend it to —-
I only know that for me it was an extraordinary listening audiobook experience!

Having just finished it, I probably need more time to digest my thoughts deeper —
But my husband, Paul, just walked by, and I tried to describe to him —-that I’m so profoundly shifted from having read this book… “so much so’, I don’t think I can ever hear the words. LOST ‘or’ FOUND and ‘ever’ think of them the same again. ……

From The differences between searching to find something, or serendipitously finding something….
Or, why FEELING BETTER can feel like loss —-
To…..
THE *** highlight***chunk of this book
(part memoir, part essays) — about a daughters love for her father, and her love for her partner, and everything in between to understand all the side dishes that come along with ❤️LOVE ❤️.

There is so much love bleeding all over the pages of this book….(I hate to repeat the same words)… so excuse me —- but AGAIN, I must say ‘SO MUCH SO’ …..
That absolutely no words …… none ……. Zilch will do it justice.

I was in awe.

I was present as in not drifting while listening.

A couple of times I was so completely blown away by the brilliant ways the author put into words experiences that we all have had occasionally…..
yet we really didn’t have the words to what it was we just experienced.

The personal parts of the story was Kathryn’s love for her father….her partner, her family, friends…
LOVE….Kathryn couldn’t have written this specific book—- getting by on her talent alone (and she’s a fantastic great writer)……
But you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried—-
Katherine herself is pure love— she creates it, she sees it, she invents it…. She honors it.

My God, could anyone have expressed things any more beautifully and profoundly than what she did? - absolutely not. I’ve never read this author before but she’s an insanely ridiculously phenomenal writer —-
and I don’t just mean her words —-
she digs deep inside our guts and pulls out:
emotions,
thoughts
and
questions
All at the same time — then sprinkles them with hot chili flakes. (My senses were bouncing all over place — my mind was on fire -and my heart was aching beyond aching)

And while I was gut truthfully touched ‘emotionally’, I was slowly getting a remarkable advance-education— worldly education -about social life, the universe, the orbit, comets- and how WE WORK AS PEOPLE IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD…..
and a terrific story at the beginning of part two about a little boy named Billy.

Cheers to our life!
Cheers to each other!
Cheers for profound authors, who write books like this…
who have the talent to expressed things we’ve needed to hear but didn’t know we did.

5 VERY STRONG STARS from me!!!!!

PS. Oh I listen to the audiobook…
I’m a little lazy right now to look up how long it was. But it was the ‘audiobook-format’ and absolutely read perfectly.

[Casey Cep · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kathryn changed my life; maybe her book will change yours.

[Theresa Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Divided into three sections, the first part, Loss, is spectacularly beautifully written and poetic. It’s about the loss of her father, who had been ill for many years, which in no way blunted the grief she felt afterward, but it’s also about how much of life is about loss. Sometimes it's things that are just irritating to lose like keys and phones and wallets, but also the much bigger things that can’t be replaced. I highlighted so much of this memoir because of the insights and gorgeous writing.

It’s not written linearly. She’ll be writing about the grief that continued to hit her in waves after her father died, and then go into scientific explanations about all manner of things.

The second section of this book is about falling in love with the woman who would eventually become her wife, and the wonders of finally finding love several months before her father died.

This is a memoir from a smart, well-educated person intended to be read by smart, well-educated people. The first part alone makes it worth the although the entire book is compelling and wonderful.

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book, which RELEASES JANUARY 11, 2022.

[Olive Fellows (abookolive) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Click here to hear my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive.


It would be hard for any memoir to affect me as much as Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life did, but this one came mighty close.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lost and Found: A Memoir (2022) is a thoughtfully written philosophical exploration of loss, mourning, and renewal found in the discovery and celebration of love. Kathryn Schultz author/journalist won a Pulitzer Prize feature magazine writing about the seismic risk located in the Pacific Northwest (2016), Shultz is a staff writer at the New Yorker, this is her second book.

It is an unfortunate cliché that many writers seem to experience unhappy childhoods, Shultz noted that hers was just the opposite. Shultz and her sister were raised by adoring, supportive, and nurturing parents. Due to his own “rootless” (Jewish) childhood status, her father was fluent in six languages, practiced law, and had an extraordinarily brilliant mind, personality, and intellect. Her mother, with a love of language and dictation taught French. Both her parents inspired Shultz foundation of love in learning and education and in the discovery of knowledge, understanding, including a literary awe in the surrounding world.

The process of her parents downsizing, de-junking, and taking up less space (from their spacious multi-storied Ohio home) to an efficiency apartment, began several years before her beloved father’s death at age 74. Through the contemplation of mourning and grief, we can lose our faith, hope, and health. Shultz felt her father’s enduring legacy and reflected on objects lost from keys, clothes, people, places and other things—still, life must continue on without the presence of those we love. Following the death of Prince Albert, Queen Victoria said the “salt” had gone out from her life.

Whether Shultz was writing about meteorites striking and landing on the earth's surface, or what the inland North American coast line was like millions of years ago (with parts of New Jersey, Maryland and Delaware covered by layers of shallow ocean waters), or ancient Egyptian civilizations, to her life hiking along the coastline of Costa Rica, -- readers are presented with interesting psychological, philosophical, or scientific facts and highlights that are interwoven with Shultz life story narrative. By the time Shultz met her wife she simply called “C”—she quickly recognized how right C. was for her. Plato believed that the beloved can be identified through memory that begins to form before birth. While this book can’t be absorbed as quickly as a typical memoir, this book is an impressive and informative read for the seekers of knowledge and truths so often found in life studies. **With thanks to Random House via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

[Jenny Lawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad, but a good book on grief should be. But also uplifting in a different sort of way.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written memoir and reflection on loss and grief while at the same time finding and falling in love with a woman whom she eventually marries.

I connected more to the first section on lost, which detailed the death of her much-loved father. My family is huge, close knit and aging. Frankly, the grief of losing loved ones is far more familiar to me than the kind of love that Kathryn Schutz portrays. Those experiences unique to mourning often resist language. Schutz so vividly described the sorrowful emotions of losing her dying father that even this reader missed him.

It is an elegant memoir…cerebral, with so many beautiful musings and allusions to history, philosophy, and poetry. The book was longlisted for 2022 National Book Awards for nonfiction.

[Jennifer nyc · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is so smart, moving and inspiring! If you avoid memoirs because you dislike navel-gazing, this book is for you.

Schulz’ cerebral exploration of life’s big losses and loves made me cry, then laugh, then laugh again. Her ideas inspired me, both to synthesize my own, and to research the many pulled-from, literary references.

The book is not without its flaws - she provides such varied chunks of information that there’s bound to be parts some would skim - but Schulz asks big questions and shares such nuanced personal answers without arrogance, that the result is highly emotional.

I will buy this for friends, I will read this again.

Thanks to Random House and Barnes & Noble for the advanced reader’s edition.

PS I happen to love navel-gazing. In fact, when artfully done, it’s one of the reasons I read. But I loved this, too.

[Matthew Budman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like everyone else who picks up Lost & Found, I'm a huge fan of Schulz's New Yorker work, including the essays on which this book is based. But as with her first book, I struggled to maintain interest here. There's gorgeous writing throughout, both talking about losing her father and finding her spouse, but Schulz's efforts to broaden the scope are only mildly successful. The story of meeting and falling in love with "C." is sweet . . . but so is anyone's story of meeting and falling in love. And Schulz characterizes herself and C., and the two of them as a couple, so winningly that it's borderline irritating—no one is this perfect! Anyway, Lost & Found is an opportunity to spend time in Schulz's delightful company, so it's hardly a waste. But there's something to be said for the space constraints of a magazine format.

[Alwynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part memoir, part essay, part extended meditation, this is an impressive exploration of myriad forms of loss and discovery. New Yorker writer Kathryn Schulz goes back to a momentous time in her life, when she met and fell for the woman she would later marry, a turbulent period inextricably linked to the death of her father Isaac. In lyrical, probing, sometimes passionate prose, Schulz has constructed a nuanced portrait of grief that’s also a celebration of happenstance, of unexpected, profound connection. It’s a nuanced, intellectually complex, admirably disciplined piece that roams through territories and concepts. Schulz draws on literature from quest narrative to poetry, philosophy, anecdote and personal experience, inviting comparisons to work by Leslie Jamison, Susan Sontag or Maggie Nelson. Schulz’s father’s a particularly memorable figure, deftly drawn. An erudite, Jewish lawyer who could quote a stream of lines from plays and books, hold forth on everything from Italian anarchists to baseball but rarely find his keys. Someone who grew up in the shadow of trauma and immense loss - most of his relatives were deported from Lodz in Poland to Auschwitz during the war. He’s juxtaposed with C, Schulz’s later wife, originally working-class, a country girl whose love of reading took her to Harvard, and whose devout Christianity makes her seem an unlikely choice for an atheist, steeped in Jewish heritage and lore, like Schulz, but is somehow, and absolutely, the right fit. A richly-textured, moving, thought-provoking piece.

Thanks to Netgalley and publisher Picador, Pan Macmillan for an arc

[Marilyn (not getting notifications) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lost & Found: A Memoir by Kathryn Schulz was recommended to by a goodreads friend. I was so thankful that she brought this book to my attention. It was one of the best books that I have read this year. I listened to the audiobook that was masterfully narrated by the author herself. Kathryn Schulz painfully, joyously and brilliantly shared her personal account of her life and included the sorrows and joys she had encountered throughout her life. I was both inspired and moved by her raw and uncensored emotions that she conveyed throughout her memoir. Lost and Found was tender, touching, beautiful, searching and thought provoking. I found myself mesmerized with her thought process, feelings and knowledge. It was brilliant that Kathryn Schulz decided to read her memoir herself.

Lost & Found was divided into three distinct parts. Part I was Lost. I related to Kathryn Schulz’s initial fear of losing her beloved father, having lost both of my parents. My own father was only 67 when he died. He was my rock and voice of reason. My mother died at the age of 82. She was my best friend. Both losses were extremely hard on me. I related to Kathryn Schulz’s fear of her father’s imminent death, her grieving process, questions, memories and the realization that she would never again be able to share experiences, and feelings of sadness, discovery or joy with her beloved father who she so admired, respected and loved. This part of Lost & Found touched me deeply.

The second part of Lost & Found was Found. This part of the book made me feel so happy for Kathryn. She unexpectedly found the love of her life, her soulmate. Kathryn Schulz so tenderly described and shared how she and her partner met, grew together and discovered a love so strong for one another. It did not matter that their upbringings and religious beliefs were so vastly opposite. Their mutual love, respect and admiration for each other was stronger than any of those other trivial things. I smiled a lot during this part of the book and shed a few tears as well. The third part of the book was &. This part brought both the first and second part together.

Lost & Found: A Memoir by Kathryn Schulz was exquisitely written. It was told straight from the author’s heart. Lost & Found was beautiful and profoundly moving. I found myself with tears in my eyes, actually weeping at some parts and smiling at other parts. I was completely in awe with the author’s ability to describe what it means to be human…to be able to feel, express, love, loose, suffer and live. I loved every part of this beautiful memoir and highly recommend it.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A profound and moving memoir that caused me to reflect on my own losses and experience of grief. Kathryn Schulz writes about how "grief is too unreliable and the overall condition too chameleon to track with ant certainty."

Recognizing that we are done grieving is tricky, as grief has a way of showing up seemingly out of the blue with an unexpected triggered memory at a point in time far beyond what might be considered appropriate for grief according to modern society.

One day, we retroactively realize our grief has faded and we continue to move forward carry our loss within us. "This is the fundamental paradox of loss: it never disappears."

There are many beautiful passages, however this one is my favorite and the one Schulz leaves us with:

"Our crossing is a brief one, best spent bearing witness to all that we see: honoring what we find noble, tending what we know needs our care, recognizing that we are inseparably connected to all of it, including what is not yet upon us, including what is already gone. We are here to keep watch, not to keep."

[Jennifer nyc · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is so smart, moving and inspiring! If you avoid memoirs because you dislike navel-gazing, this book is for you.

Schulz’ cerebral exploration of life’s big losses and loves made me cry, then laugh, then laugh again. Her ideas inspired me, both to synthesize my own, and to research the many pulled-from, literary references.

The book is not without its flaws - she provides such varied chunks of information that there’s bound to be parts some would skim - but Schulz asks big questions and shares such nuanced personal answers without arrogance, and the result is highly emotional.

I will buy this for friends, I will read this again.

Thanks to Random House and Barnes & Noble for the advanced reader’s edition.

PS
I happen to love navel-gazing. In fact, when artfully done, it’s one of the reasons I read. But I loved this, too.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read for The Gloss Book Club May 2023.

Memoirs get an auto five stars from me, I'm not here to rate anyone's life and especially not anyone's grief.

I am not the targeted audience for this book. Having buried my baby sister at the age of thirty, it's difficult to read about someone's grief who has their father until their seventies. The part where she felt jealous of friends whose fathers lived until their nineties was difficult to swallow.

My experience of grief in the last 16 months has been messy and unpredictable, and life has been stripped by back to its dirtiest, rawest form. This prose here is full of flowers, blissfully idyllic, meandering down country lanes filled with butterflies, which made it unrelatable.

Unfortunately, the only takeaway for me was how the alphabet once included &.

Your mileage is going to vary here relating to your own grief experience.

[Kasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is well-written but ultimately just not for me. I enjoyed the parts that were memoir but was very bored by all the tangential discussion of philosophy, mythology, etc. I had many of the same issues with this as I did with When Breath Becomes Air (but this book is much better written than that one).

[Neil Crocker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Beautiful writing. Incredibly boring. Her dad dies. (She loved her dad.) She falls in love. (Her partner is special.) She gets married. (She loves her partner.) Yup. Anything else?

[Christine]

DNF at 7%. Not connecting with the writing style whatsoever.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Schulz’s beautiful memoir about losing her father and falling in love are not unique stories. However, Schulz’s excellent writing takes both of these events to a different level—one that is philosophical about the experiences of personal grief and finding one’s life partner. She reminds us of the brevity of life and why the loss of a loved one forces us to consider our mortality and place in the world. Life is the great impermanence. Love allows us to find that world richer and more wondrous.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

(3.5) Schulz is a staff writer for the New Yorker, and her 2010 book Being Wrong was my favourite kind of nonfiction: wide-ranging, erudite and uncategorizable. When I heard she’d written a bereavement memoir, I was beyond eager to read it. Her father, Isaac, was a scholarly and opinionated Polish Jew whose family emigrated from Israel via Germany to the USA in the early 1950s. Schulz grew up in the Cleveland suburbs of Ohio. Her father died at 74 after a decade of poor health. I read part of this book on the transatlantic flight to my mother’s funeral, and found the thoughts on grief so wise and true. “One of the many ways that loss instructs us is by correcting our sense of scale, showing us the world as it really is: so enormous, complex, and mysterious that there is nothing too large to be lost.”

But loss is not the end of this story; it overlaps with and is in some sense superseded by an unexpected romance. Introduced by mutual friends 18 months before her father’s death, Schulz and “C.” (fellow New Yorker writer Casey Cep) quickly fell in love and fashioned a life together on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, despite some significant differences in temperament and background – for instance, C. is a devout Lutheran while Schulz is a largely non-practicing Jew. She manages to braid this together with bereavement: “Love, like grief, has the properties of a fluid: it flows everywhere, fills any container, saturates everything.” My only slight frustration with the book was the amount of generic material on losing and finding and what other thinkers have had to say about these universal experiences – I tended to skip past it to get back to the narrative of her developing relationship with C.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impressive, Informative, and Poignant Writing

SUMMARY
Eighteen months before Kathryn Schulz’s beloved father died of cancer at the age of 74, she met the woman she would marry. In Lost & Found, she weaves the stories of those relationships into an exploration of how all our lives are shaped by both loss and discovery.

Schulz describes her father as a charming, brilliant, absentminded Jewish refugee; and her partner as an equally brilliant farmer’s daughter and devout Christian, both of whom form the foundation for Lost & Found. But it is the and symbol in the middle of her title that made Schultz decide to write this book. She explores how private happiness can coexist with global catastrophe, how we get irritated with those we adore, and how love and loss are unavoidably inseparable. Her book is described as “part memoir, part guidebook to living in a world that is simultaneously full of wonder and joy and wretchedness and suffering—a world that always demands both our gratitude and our grief.”

REVIEW
Schultz adroitly explores how the meaning of “to lose” has expanded over the years. In her analysis, she created a never-ending list of all the things she has lost over her lifetime, like a letter from her grandmother or a threadbare blue plaid shirt. She runs down the “far extremity of what it is possible to lose,” such as our life savings, our job, or the custody of our children. She discovered that some losses are actually positive such as being lost in thought or a book or a conversation.” But for the most part, she says, “our losses lie closer in spirit to the death of my father, in that they diminish our lives.” Our losses she says “encompass both the trivial as well as the consequential, the abstract and the concrete, the merely misplaced and the permanently gone.”

Schultz also keenly explores how finding something can be delightful, rewarding, and even exhilarating. She tells us about a young boy named Billy and how he found a falling star walking across a field one night. Finding, she says, takes one of two forms: recovery of something previously lost; or discovery of something we have never seen before. She observes that sometimes we find things by purposely looking for them, and other times we find things by pure luck, like when she met the love of her life.

Schulz’s engaging stories of her father, her partner, and Billy capture your attention from the beginning. Lost & Found is insightful and evocative. Many of her stories brought back memories of my own mother’s death over 28 years ago. I, too, had experienced a great loss, but the birth of my son nine months earlier was that same counterbalancing Schultz described when she found the woman she would subsequently marry. And much like Schultz, when I first met my husband over 40 years ago, he and I both knew without a doubt, we had found the one we were meant to be with. We both felt as though we had known each other forever, and we were married 90 days later.

I was enthralled by her references to poetry and literature. Her writing is impressive, informative, and poignant. She blended just the right amount of personal stories with thought-provoking analysis. I spent hours reading various parts of the book to my husband. You will want to read this book more than once. I recommend this highly for anyone who has had a significant loss in their life.

KATHRYN SCHULZ is a staff writer at The New Yorker and the author of Being Wrong. She won a National Magazine Award and a Pulitzer Prize for “The Really Big One,” her article about seismic risk in the Pacific Northwest. Lost & Found grew out of “Losing Streak,” a New Yorker story that was anthologized in The Best American Essays. Her work has also appeared in The Best American Science and Nature Writing, The Best American Travel Writing, and The Best American Food Writing. A native of Ohio, she lives with her family on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

Thanks to Netgalley and Random House for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.


Publisher Random House
Published January 11, 2022
Review www.bluestockingreviews.com

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded up. Wonderful to listen and think about, audio book. It was almost beyond good and I'm already thinking about listening to it again and getting a print copy. Thanks to Olive on BookTube for this recommendation.
A book about grief and what is lost out of life when a beloved parent dies and what we can find in the mystery of falling in love. A little strangely I liked the Lost a little more than the Found but both were very, very good. A memoir of a few years in this author's life during which she loses her father and finds her partner. I found I could not put it down and felt a little lost myself when it was over and looking forward to finding the time to listen to it again. Really great on audio, don't miss it if you like memoirs.

[Mary Keen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sorry, but i'm only in 40 minutes (9%) in Pt 1 Lost--and IMO, it's SO BORING!

I wonder about her conceit in thinking anyone else could be interested in her murmurings about her non-famous father, losing things, on and on and on......

Occasionally one of her comments rings a bell, but not worth wading thru her many passages that do not!



Overdrive @1.20 speed

[Traci Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is everything right with this book and yet it didn't land for me. The writing is great. The idea is great. The author is smart and so is the way this book unfolds, and yet it was just okay for me. This book is very much a meditation, and I couldn't quiet feel pulled in enough to stay and absorb. The first section was my favorite.

[Erik · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kathryn Schulz' Lost & Found is a reflection on losing those we love and loving those we still have.

Within the span of 18 months, New Yorker writer Kathryn Schulz met the love of her life and lost her father, who died from various health issues due to old age. Split into three parts, Schulz spends the pages of the book reminiscing about her father and reflecting on her stages of grief, retelling how she met, C., the woman who she would marry and who would become her emotional center, and talking about how the two emotions - grief and love - are so essential to one another.

Schulz' writing in Lost and Found is beautiful, but the writing is just about the only interesting thing in the book. Though at times Schulz' story is interesting when she reflects on broader concepts such as grief and love, the stories she tells of her life are ... quite boring. Sadly, I believe this book is a prime example of how oversaturated the market is for memoirs: Schulz' stories are less interesting to read than I think they were for her to experience and live through.

[KELLY SILVEIRA · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could write a review that would do this book justice. It's a highly intelligent memoir that delves into the biggest events in our lives: finding love & losing our loved ones. The author bounces back & forth between a story-telling style and an extremely scientific one, which doesn't sound like it should work, but MAN OH MAN, does it ever! Her insights into the enormous sorrows & joys that make up life, wrapped up wonderfully in the section called "And," will stay with me forever. I often jot down quotes from books I'm reading: whether they be an idea that somehow hits home or just a beautifully written sentence. Ms. Schulz's writing is so full of both that I've filled PAGES in my journal. I thoroughly recommend this book!

[Lauren Hakimi · Rating 2 out of 5]

When a memoir strikes the wrong tone, it can feel as if the writer is either bragging or trying to arouse pity. Here we have the former. Look, everyone loves me and I have a perfect work-from-home job and the worst thing that happened to me is that an old person I knew died! My dad is a professor and my wife is a Rhodes scholar! I love my Rhodes scholar wife and she loves me, isn't that so great? Nobody told her that someone being a Rhodes scholar is a really bad reason to love them. Nobody told her that it's more interesting to portray people as multidimensional than to just gush about how perfect and smart they are. And then she has the audacity (page 217) to say that people who are angry, lonely, or bored only feel that way because they want to. Maybe, Kathryn, or maybe they, like most people, have a different set of life experiences from you. It doesn't help that the book contains many dull comments, often mixed in with sentences where she quotes some long-dead poet making some observation that was probably interesting ten thousand years ago when it was first uttered. "As so and so put it...." You're a writer. Put it yourself. This book is very remote from conversations taking place in our society today. She talks more about Greek gods than about the realities of racism, sexism, climate change, wealth inequality, or any real thing that we need to think about as a society, combined. The book tries to be profound but it really, really isn't. It's also very boring. I do not find remotely compelling the basic truth that it's annoying to lose stuff and nice to find stuff, and that people do both.

[Caroline · Rating 2 out of 5]

unfortunately, I couldn't get into this one and ended up not finishing it.
the memoir was based on an article she wrote and it often felt like a lot of filler writing (a lot of 'X describes the definition of loss as...') and my easily distracted brain just couldn't focus on the text longer than a few minutes at a time.

[Clara Morales · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leo este libro en la mejor de las circunstancias. Me lo recomienda la mujer de la que estoy enamorada (y que, al parecer, está enamorada de mí), que me dice: "Me he sentido muy identificada y he pensado en ti leyéndolo". Voy siguiendo sus huellas, las esquinas inferiores dobladas en tal o cual página, a las que se suman las mías. Ahora no sabríamos decir quién señaló qué. 


La traducción de Marta Rebón es estupenda, empezando por el título que encuentra para sustituir al original, Lost & Found. Es una pena que esa expresión no tenga traslación al castellano, porque uno de los triunfos del libro es ese título y la estructura que marca (incluida la sorpresa del capítulo final, dedicado al "&"). Contraponer la pérdida de un padre al hallazgo de un amor probablemente sea una idea cursi en abstracto, puede que incluso en la práctica. Pero hacerlo a través de las nociones de pérdida y hallazgo en un sentido general, como caras opuestas de un mismo asombro metafísico, convierten esas vivencias personales en expresiones de la existencia humana. 


Yo tengo la suerte de contar más hallazgos que pérdidas. Desde luego, los primeros son más improbables que las segundas, que acabarán llegando. Y me alegra que Schulz se haya ocupado extensamente del hallazgo del amor. El amor romántico nos ha puesto difícil darle buena prensa, sabiendo los muertos (las muertas) que tiene a sus espaldas. Pero yo estoy enamorada y sé que esa es una experiencia central en mi vida, una experiencia transformadora, es decir, que me hace mirar el mundo de manera distinta. La autora viene a decir eso, y todo lo demás que no suele decirse, primero por pudor y luego, si se es afortunada, por miedo a resultar pesada: lo dulce que es el deseo de repetición, el terror resignado ante la pérdida inevitable, la certeza de que esa pérdida vendrá solo con la muerte (y esa mención, ay, a la voluntad de los amantes de morir al mismo tiempo, sabiendo que a la inmensa mayoría el futuro no nos hará ese favor). Ya digo que todo esto puede resultar, y de hecho ser, cursi. También es asombroso.

[Christine Livinghouse · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh I just couldn’t finish this- I think I need a better head space to read this- very sad and depressing. Also I could not adjust to he authors writing- it was very rambling and I felt like I needed a break every few pages.

[Yvette · Rating 3 out of 5]

One word: Rambling. Lots of it! This book is divided in 3 parts:

1: Losing and Grieving for a parent. This was my favorite out of the 3. I felt the author's mind flowing beautifully! Here Kathryn shared her most intimate feelings when her father died. She dives into a philosophical journey and we are there with her. What happens when a bright, successful, well-adjusted adult loses her loving father to a peaceful death? Rambling was kept to a minimum and a connection with the reader was well established. She sticks to the point: looks at her own life, reflects on cultural assumptions and considers some of the literature on the subject. I loved how she took grieving and found a different twist to it.

2: Finding love. My least favorite part. I felt that the rambling got out of control and her focus was entirely on praising (borderline fixation) her partner. I felt no connection here. She makes connections to a wider range of thought, considering astronomy alongside writers like Neruda, Plato, Nabokov, Dante and Keats. All this after her 2nd date. I could tell she was going through the honeymoon phase during a relationship while writing this book- those days where we idolize our partners, the relationship and every day is a new adventure. I questioned if the author was desperately trying to find love? I even felt that she was a bit too attached and clingy.

3: Continuation after loss and finding love. This was the shortest part, but very interesting regardless. There were some philosophical questions and thoughts regarding our very own existence, immortality and unavoidable death. Very inspiring.

Overall I think it was an Ok book but the rambling was just too much for me, specially part 2. Also her rather obsessive borderline toxic way she views her partner. I just felt no connection there whatsoever. I wished part 3 would've been extended.