Outside, the Sky is Blue: A Family Memoir

by Christina Patterson

OUTSIDE, THE SKY IS BLUE is a beautifully drawn, heart-breaking yet also joyful memoir of growing up, of living with mental ill health and cancer, and of working out what it means to be in a family, what it means to lose a family - and what's left when you're the last one left.

When Christina Patterson's brother Tom died very suddenly, she faced the harrowing task of clearing out his house. Tom had always been the one who held on to the family treasures and memories, but now Christina had to sift through box after box of letters, papers, photos and belongings, not just of Tom's, but of their parents and their older sister, Caroline.

Those boxes, albums and papers tell the story of a young couple who decide, when their children are small, to swap a glamorous diplomatic life in Rome for a housing estate in Surrey. But their new suburban life, of trips to National Trust houses, fizzy drinks over TV costume drama and walks at Wisley Gardens, is increasingly disrupted by Caroline's, erratic behaviour. As she is diagnosed with schizophrenia, Tom seeks solace in sport and Christina in a youth club where she hopes to meet boys, but finds God.

Genres: Memoir

416 pages, Hardcover

Published February 17, 2022

Reviews

[Diane Fordham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t often give a 5 star rating, but this book was so beautifully written and so well laid out that it had to be done. The handling of decades of information must have been a logistical nightmare, but is worked through here in such a way that we leap from decade to decade with no loss of clarity. Each member of the family gets their share of the limelight and we get to know them all intimately. The family clearly had trials aplenty, but with such solid,sensible parents at the helm, seemed to weather each storm as it hit. I wish Christina every happiness for the future.

[Odette Lattimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucky enough to hear Christina discuss aspects of her book during a Humanist event and purchased it straight away. I saved it to read in the garden during some annual leave and have not been able to put it down. I laughed and cried.
I actually sobbed in the garden and had to put it down for 5 mins.
Excellent book - highly recommend

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A superb memoir. As her father said ‘I think that you write with an unusually sharp edge and clarity, and also in a very concise and down-to-earth way.’ He was indeed right. Her writing just flows and I was totally mesmerised from start to finish. She does not get bogged down in detail and yet you are able to grasp the enormity of all the challenges she and her family had to face.

[Fionnuala · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is desperately sad, but somehow still manages to be enjoyable. I would not recommend it if you're looking for some light, happy reading, but despite how heavy it is, it's really beautiful in its own way. It's a real testimony to the power of both love and grief, and it also has a lot of interesting and unexpected things to say about the nature of trauma and the often overlooked physical effects it can have. Most often, people associate trauma with psychological symptoms, but there's a drastically misunderstood side to it that results in physical symptoms -- sometimes without any psychological symptoms being present at all, and perhaps even with the trauma being completely unknown to the person suffering it. It is definitely something that needs to be talked about more, and this book is a really solid and detailed example to refer to.

I'm fascinated by family memoirs, both because I am nosy and love reading any random memoir I see, but also -- to put it bluntly -- because I do not have a family and I like to study what families look like, the good and the bad. Familial love is a completely unknown concept to me, and for that reason I find stories like this difficult to believe. In the good way, of course -- it surprises me and stuns me that love can be so powerful and so completely untouchable -- but it makes books like this an insane reading experience. Truly the variety of human emotion is on show when I compare this book with my own experience with family. Somehow it's comforting to know that even a loving family has its unspeakable horrors, even if it is distressingly sad to consider.

Patterson has a really casual writing style that serves the book well. Her writing is simple and easy to read, but loses none of its emotional depth. The writing about her early childhood, especially the holidays in Sweden, managed to evoke the exact same feeling in my as my own childhood memories -- distant, happy in a calm-before-the-storm kind of way, faded, and the sun always shining. Her writing about her various struggles manages to be intimate but wastes no time in self-pity, which is impressive, as she was dealt blow after blow and definitely has the right to throw herself a pity party if she wants to. She speaks candidly about her emotions then, the good and the ugly, and she has very interesting things to say about the role of religion in her life, her attempts to piece everything together, her experience with grief, her chronic illnesses and her battle with cancer... it's a lot of heavy subjects, and probably each one could be a memoir in its own right, but Patterson handles it all with skill and honesty and keeps true to the core of it all. It's a memorable story, one that has definitely left me with a new appreciation for the endurance of humans. Patterson was dealt blow after blow, loss after loss. I don't know how she gets up in the morning, let alone manages to write a tribute to her family as touching and beautiful and honest as this.

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

A complex and compelling family memoir. What makes this book so readable is the scale of its ambition but that's one of the problems too. Patterson is trying to tell her story and the story of her family: her parents (one of whom came from Sweden) and her elder sister and brother. Not surprisingly, this does fit comfortably into one big narrative - because life is not like that (and the book is more compelling for not editing out the other bits and generally tidying up).

The two main themes are the story of Caroline - Paterson's sister - who suffers from schizophrenia and the impact of that on the family and Patterson's own long search for love and good health.

I interviewed Patterson for my podcast The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall and I took one of the chapter titles 'Getting out of you own way' for the topic. Patterson talks movingly about the therapy she has undertaken and how it helped her understand how she was, unwittingly, self-sabotaging. I have never seen this topic covered so carefully or explained so well. If you enjoy podcasts her episode is well worth a listen.

My only issue with this book is that the reader is left to pull together the threads for him or herself but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

[rose todd · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a well written book about the lives of the author and her family. An account of how they collectively and alone ultimately rose above the turmoil that mental illness brings in its wake.
I struggled with the endless years of evangelical Christianity that the author subjected herself, and us, the readers, to. Some diligent editing would have made the regilious fanaticism years an easier read (for me, at least), but perhaps then the final escape would have been less dramatic.
Towards the end of the book, the narrative comes into its own.
The author does an astounding job, spelling out how derailing disabilitity, mental health, and health issues can sometimes be. Perhaps only if you yourself or your family have been there can you truly relate ... but as readers, we are carried along regardless of personal experience.
True compassion and understanding shines out of every paragraph at the end.
An absolutely recommended read - if not for the religious fanaticism, I would have given the book five stars.

[Anomilie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, it was an interesting insight into the life of this family told by the only remaining member of it. However, I feel the jacket cover oversold the depths of the insight into living with a mentally ill family member. The journey of her own physical ailments was recounted with extraordinary detail and insight.

I found that a lot of the main content relied too heavily on external documentation (journals, letters, diaries, photos, etc). I felt this created a distance between the writer and her family to the point where I was unsure about the extent of her interactions and relationship with them while they were still alive.

It was a bit disorientating to get into, but the beginning of this book made a lot more sense in the end.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written and an easy read, but somehow feels a bit self-indulgent. Her story of finding and then losing faith is interesting, as is her account of her sister’s illness and it’s effect on her family. Other parts seem little more that a record of her family and it’s ups and downs, without anything to set the tale apart from the sort of story many people could tell about their own family, given the chance.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful, heartbreaking, thoughtful book - a book that captures the complexity of life itself and many universal truths via the prism of Patterson's family and experiences. Patterson is a gifted descriptive writer, as well - her recollections of the Swedish countryside in summer, in particular, took me there. Highly recommend this brave, beautiful book.

[MORAG PATTERSON · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest and heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing your family story with us. Love is always
there. Love is what ties us together through all the peaks and troughs of life. Congratulations on finding your 'lovely man '. Wishing you good health and happiness .

[Heather Fairbairn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book. Patterson’s candour about her sister’s schizophrenia and its impact, both positive and negative, on their family life feels inspirationally brave, honest and enlightened. It is one of those books that will stay with me for a long time. I highly recommend it.

[Jan O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book about everything that makes us human. Full of love, joy, anger, despair but ultimately a realisation that hope and enduring love can overcome the bad stuff most of us encounter during the course of our lives.

[D J Parry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very moving

This is an amazingly honest book. I found it very moving and quite heart rending at times. I am so glad that Christina found love. She deserves every bit of it.

[Hilay Hopkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

The very best book I’ve read this year so far. I have a book hangover.

[Theodora]

DNF