The Imperfect Therapist: Learning from Failure in Therapeutic Practice

by Jeffrey A. Kottler, Diane S. Blau

Examines the ways in which therapists experience failure and offers suggestions for confronting failures, dealing with anxieties and maintaining personal and professional growth

Genres: Psychology

208 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 1989

About the author

Jeffrey A. Kottler is a professor, psychologist, author, consultant, workshop leader, keynote speaker, and social justice advocate who has spent the past 40 years working throughout the world to promote personal and professional development among professionals and marginalized groups. Jeffrey has worked as a teacher, counselor, therapist, and consultant in a variety of settings including a preschool, primary and secondary school, university, mental health center, crisis center, and corporate settings.

Reviews

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read one of Kottler's books for my thesis and absolutely loved it, so I had high expectations of this book. Parts of it disappointed me, though, because they focused so heavily on all the different ways a therapist can fail without really offering a whole lot of reassurance that this is normal or ok. Parts of it, though, were really uplifting, encouraging, inspiring, and normalizing, which is what I think this book sought to be.

The best part of the book, though, was the addendum/ epilogue where Kottler and his colleague, who co-authored the book, wrote about a page and a half of their experience in authoring it. They wrote about how hard it is to write about therapeutic failure, and how writing about their own failures nearly destroyed their friendship and professional relationship with one another. They told the story of how the other author (not Kottler - I can't remember her last name - please forgive me, Diane Something) became blocked due to the overwhelming task of writing about failure and almost stepped down fromt he project, but was finally able to come back and finish the book. They wrote about how writing it was a grueling process.

And that's how this book - or parts of it - read. It reads like it was difficult to write, and like the authors became so frustarted at times that they were no longer interested in reassuring their audience. While parts of it made me feel like sometimes it's normal to get frustrated or to feel like maybe I could have done something better for a client, other parts of it were just like "yeah, sometimes you fail, get over it."

However, I do have to say that I'm quite grateful for the existence of a book about this topic. I wrote my thesis about the sellf-doubt and anxiety of young therapists, and will hopefully eventually adapt it into a full-length published book... so it's good to know that there are other books out there whose purpose is t o say "yeah, sometimes being a shrink is hard, and that's ok."

[Dustin Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When failure is treated with as much respect as success, it becomes a valuable source of information about the world and the forces that interact within it.

Each shot that falls wide of he target can be noted as useful information that will be helpful in the next attempt.

And if the archer is calm in spirit, free of self-critical judgements and pressure to perform according to some prescribed standard, she or he [or they] may simply shoot, observe the results, and then shoot again with more accuracy." (pp. 59)

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, though I found it to be a little too academic at times. The discussions make your face reality in a way that is both frightening and refreshing, as failure is a sticky subject. I am glad I read this now at this point in my career of just starting out: there are a lot of valuable lessons in here I can apply to my training.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! A must-read for any therapist.

[Roia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated this book for a lot of reasons, more than anything because it speaks to a difficult topic. That said, the book was written quite a while ago, and some elements are outdated.

[Kalem Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Imperfect Therapist challenges practitioners to explore their fears of failure in therapeutic practice and their defenses against struggle. It exposes what is genuinely a taboo subject in education and practice and explores errors and mistakes that therapists at all levels of training make while offering an evolutionary guide for developing mastery.

The authors illustrate the irrational thinking and behavioral patterns of avoidance that permits one to evade failure as well as testimony from notable therapists who reconceptualize (or rationalize!) work with clients that didn’t end gloriously. It capably erases the distinction between clients’ defense mechanisms and our own, giving readers more insight into how to be more effective personally and professionally.

The authors reconceive of failure as the price of learning and improvement - as an instructive gift to embrace rather than a condemnation to escape. Whether one can believe this or not, this is a must-read for therapists simply for opening the conversation and granting permission to explore failure.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book made me feel anxious at first but better as I progressed. It feels good to know that making mistakes and "failing" are a part of this field. It's okay to be imperfect. The most important thing to understand is that one needs to learn from their failures in order to grow and succeed in the future.