this collection nudged at some tender, bruisey places for me. my granddad, who i never called opa, who was born into a big mennonite farming family, who had memories i never heard first-hand, who spoke english for all his adult life but learnt german later as a way of remembering, who i wonder about often, now that i'm grown up and ready to understand, now that he's no longer here to tell me who he was before he was the granddad i knew. also a lot of university memories, blurry nights and panicked phone calls and so, so many conversations with people i loved abt why what had happened to them wasn't okay, the complicated networks of love and trust and betrayals of trust and dependence and un-safety. so like. i don't want to measure a book's value by how personally Relatable i found it, but i think there's a degree of softness i feel that comes from v specific points of contact and similarity, that tangles up my memories and relationships with my experience of reading ?
(maybe the softness also comes with listening to this as an audiobook, narrated by the author, bc there is something companionable & warm abt hearing her words in her voice.)
all of the above makes it sound as though i Loved this book, and i didn't, which feels unfair somehow but is the truth. i appreciate a lot of the emotional Meat of the stories, their conflicts & resolutions, their deeply real-feeling Feelings, but stylistically, they sort of blurred together for me? and maybe this comes down to personal preference, because i think it's much harder to have the sort of crisp, story by story clarity i like outside of fabulism and genre fiction - it makes sense that a collection of stories about relationships, friendships, trauma, addiction, transness and family have overlapping themes, use a relatively unchanging language and tone and register. i just struggled to find enough contrast to keep everything distinct, to feel that sharp, immediate, ambiguous hook of Something that lodges itself in my brain and stays there.
(thanks to netgalley for the advance audio copy!)