全天下为我火葬场 [The Whole World Is My Crematorium]

by 比卡比

萧玉案身负重任，因为某种限制，他不得不对着一群狗男人“犯贱”。
任务完成了，限制消失了，萧玉案仰天长啸：啊，这是自由的味道！
把他当玩物，在他身上试蛊的魔尊；表面温柔，实则利用他的师尊；蔑视嫌弃他的师弟；用他的血救自己师兄的云剑阁少阁主——恕他不奉陪了。
后来，萧玉案学会了“换颜术”，他可以变成任何人的模样。
他借此展开了各项业务：只要银子给的够，他就能变成客人所想之人。
萧玉案的生意红红火火，赚得盆满钵满，各路大佬慕名而来。然后——
师尊：阿玉，师尊……错了。
师弟：呜呜呜我再也不会让师兄离开我了！
少阁主：萧玉案，你要我把心掏出来给你看么！
魔尊：宝贝怎样才能原谅我，我让你欺负回来好不好？
追妻火葬场烧遍全天下，萧玉案微笑：别问，问就是没爱过。
【封面是受，追妻最拼命的是攻（已定），非要早期知道攻是谁的就慎入吧】
【只有攻火葬场成功，从始至终1V1，结局HE】
【文案即排雷，每种渣法都写清楚了，酌情跳坑】
【日更，每晚11点左右更新】
内容标签： 强强 仙侠修真 复仇虐渣
搜索关键字：主角：萧玉案 ┃ 配角：萧渡，顾楼吟，慕鹰扬，李闲庭 ┃ 其它：全员追妻火葬场
一句话简介：别问，问就是没爱过
立意：己所不欲，勿施于人

Genres: Romance, Fantasy, LGBT, M M Romance

1080 pages, Web Novel

Published January 1, 2020

Reviews

[V~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 🌟

Maybe I'm just easily satisfied with certain stories. Especially when they wrap up nicely and it's a happy ending. Also, in a bit bias because Bikabi is the author that did one of my all time favorite stories: Married Thrice to a Salted Fish.

I'll say what I did like/pros:
I obviously loved the happy ending. I loved how every little detail didn't feel left out and most importantly, that the relationships between Xiao Yu'an ended how he wanted it to end. He was really good at setting his foot down although sometimes it felt like he wasn't and was being complacent and that's what was frustrating.

I loved how much he grew in love with Gu Luoyin. I love how sweet and affectionate he was at the end, it took a while and I felt like it was maybe not genuine at first or perhaps forced, but then it became more genuine as the read went on.

Also, lots of indirect smut! Hahaha it was like trying to figure out chess with the wording and how things were explained. It was fun!

I loved that Xiao Du at least got to be with his brother's good side. He deserved him, but deserved the treatment and ending he had because he did fuck up a lot. ❤️ He really grew on me though. I felt his feelings and the author did very well at redeeming him, but not forgiving his behavior. Behavior has consequences.

I did love the theme of the end game top loving the other do do evil or something bad. ;) I got giddy because it was MTSF all over again!

Cons: I think one of the characters (cough cough the shidi) was annoying af for the longest time. Almost up until the last two chapters. I wanted to kick him every time. He was stubborn af! Also Yu'an was driving me nuts at some point that he was making it hard to empathize with him when he was being so ruthless.

Also, I would have liked to know more about Gu Luoyin's feelings and see what else he loved about Xiao Yu'an. I wanted to know what it was that made him fall in love besides the beauty part, it seems shallow otherwise. It was so good at making the reader understand in the beginning, but later he was very heart broken and his demon grew. I wanted more of that. It was sad we didn't get more. However, there were times where he would say stuff and I'd be like swooning!
But with the lustful part on his behalf it could have come off shallower if not explained right, which it did a little bit.

Overall, it was a lovely read.

[Neha D'souza · Rating 4 out of 5]

While skimming through reviews on NU, I accidentally glimpsed who the ML would eventually be. Nevertheless, despite knowing this, my enthusiasm wasn’t dampened in the slightest. Even if I hadn’t known, I would have shipped the ship that eventually sailed.

Coming to the plot, there are loopholes and some things don’t make sense but are easy to overlook. Eventually, though, the author ties the loose ends and everything comes together.

I love 比卡比‘s style and ability to flesh out characters, including side characters and antagonists. I hope they write more stories.

The romance, in this book, is interesting but there are some things that left me feeling uncomfortable. For instance, I couldn’t understand why the MLs (especially Xiao Du and MYY) were crazed about the MC. I understand GLY’s obsession, but it feels like some information was missing when it comes to the other two. The six months leading up to when the story begins are not explained and perhaps that’s when XD developed his obsession but, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand MYY’s point of view. Also, while MYY was annoying and controlling, he wasn’t as disappointing as the other two MLs. 

I also wasn’t entirely sympathetic with the MC’s attitude towards his shidi.

I also feel that the chosen ML suffered way too much and I’m not entirely sure if it was necessary for him to go through that.

Nevertheless, the story is un-put-downable. I binged read it within two days straight and couldn’t stop until the end.

Finally, and I must say this. While this story is interesting, it doesn’t hold a candle to
‘Married thrice to a salted fish’. Even though both books share the same author, there is a huge difference between the two.
 
 

[Aki Ryuichi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me quedo completamente con el pescado salado 😜.

Está novela no ha Sido de mis favoritas porque tiene harem... Y pues no disfruto de este tipo de historias... además que son de lo peor cada uno de los interesados jajaja

Se queda con uno al final (del que quería gracias a Dios, sino hubiera sido un total disgusto... Pero confieso que me fui al último capítulo para no llevarme una sorpresa desagradable 🤭🤭🤭).

Presumo que esta es una novela anterior a la del pescado salado pues considero que esa está escrita mucho mejor, además de haberme arrancado lágrimas y carcajadas.

No se desanimen de mi opinión, quizá la disfruten más que yo, porque la novela no es mala, es muy entretenida y atrapante (sino, no la hubiera terminado 😶).

Ps: Puede ser considerado spoiler:








los Protas me hacen recordar mucho a Wei Ying y a Lan Zhan... Pero no al principio, sino ya llegando al final, cuando te los imaginas de rojo y blanco, uno serio y el otro alegre y sonriente jajaja.

[Benji · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a highly entertaining soap opera type read and my first time reading a wife-chasing/crematorium danmei, it was a lot of fun. I’m also generally not into love triangles (more like a love square in this book) but given that the entire point of the book was the trashy drama I was fine with it. Three men all wrong the MC in various ways and then spend the rest of the book groveling for his forgiveness but he’s real apathetic about them. Good amount of action and plot balanced with a bunch of over dramatic love interests who get their comeuppance.

CWs: confinement, poisoning, unrequited incestuous attraction, taking advantage of someone under the influence, murder, dismemberment

[Dianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded down to 3

I was really excited to start this novel when I realized it was by the same author behind Married Thrice to Salted Fish, which was an amazing novel, but sadly it didn't live up to my expectations. It was my first time reading a crematorium novel, though I've seen it in other formats. Essentially it refers to a trope in Chinese literature where one characters treats the other really badly and pushes him away, and then he needs to take time chasing after him and winning him back. The twist here is that there are 3 such characters here mistreating our MC, who all spend a lot of effort chasing him later.

The main character is Xiao Yuan, who starts out the story with an annoying system in his head. The system forces him to get along with people that he would've otherwise disdained and literally changes some of the words coming out of his mouth so that he's responding positively to them. Some of these folks include his bratty younger shidi, the Demon lord who claims to be his older brother but then discards him, and the young master of the Yunjian Pavilion. All of these people mistreat him to different degrees, but when our MC completes his mission and the system leaves his head, he's ecstatic to leave all of them behind by "dying" and finally live a life of freedom.

After gaining freedom, he learns a powerful face changing technique that lets him change faces at all as long as he has a strand of the person's hair and makes a fortune running a business based on this. Unfortunately, he can't completely hide himself, and 2 years later, he comes into contact with some of the people who mistreated him before. Slowly he gets involved with everyone again, and by the time his identity as Xiao Yuan is revealed, everyone's attitude towards him has changed for the better and they all chase after him. However, despite the multiple candidates, there's only one character that Xiao Yuan gives his heart to.

I had a suspicion who the ML was and specifically looked for spoilers in the comments to confirm before I continued reading. If it had been a different person, I probably would've stopped reading as I wasn't a fan of the other two. However, the author does play around a bit with all 3 potential guys and gives each of them a moment with the MC.

Overall I enjoyed the story, but not everything made sense to me, hence my 3.5 rating. For one, I think the amount of suffering some of the characters went through was too much. I also found the MC to be a little bit too uncaring or emotionless in his actions sometimes. The author tries to explain this as he used to care until he got burnt, so now he tries not to care too much at all, but still, I personally found it too extreme. Also, there is a simple story that unfolds as the novel progresses, but it's never explained why the bad guy did what he did and what his final intentions were, so the story felt incomplete as a result.

I have some more spoilerish thoughts as well.

My favorite was always Gu Louyin from the beginning, so I was relieved when I found out he was the end game ML. It's clear from early on that he cares for Xiao Yuan, even if XY misunderstood his actions. We later find out that it was either GLY take the MC's blood or his life; GLY's dad the Pavilion Master really didn't give him many options to work with, so in that case GLY did the best he could. However, it was clear that he was pained each time Xiao Yuan had to give up blood, and when it was time for the wedding, he was really excited for it.

One thing I never understood was why Gu Louyin fell so quickly for Xiao Yuan. I assume it's partially because of his looks, but GLY isn't that shallow, so what else did he see in Xiao Yuan to make him fall head over heels so quickly? The author never really addresses this question.

As the MC explains it: "He and Gu Louyin had only been together for a few months. They might have been friends before Lin Wulian was poisoned, but after that, even if they had a private marriage contract, they were each getting what they each needed. Gu Louyin wanted his blood to save his Shixiong, and he wanted to become Gu Louyin's Dao companion to approach Qingyan and complete his task. They had never said anything beyond negotiating the conditions. There was no 'like' or 'being in love', let alone making an oath to stay.

It was super painful to read about how Gu Louyin suffers after the MC's "death". He really suffered before he got his happy ending, much more than necessary in my opinion. One thoughtless action from the MC to fake his corpse and throw GLY off his scent caused GLY's demonization and rebellion against the whole Yunjian Pavilion. Even the MC regretted his actions there. It's a good example of how his careless action ends up causing so much pain to others.

Even after Xiao Yuan realizes his feelings for Gu Louyin, it was frustrating that he didn't agree to be with GLY because GLY's dad killed his mother and adopted family. Like many other reviewers mentioned, he clearly doesn't care about his family or familial ties at all, so why did the author decide to make this into such a big deal? At that point, I had already waited long enough, so it was annoying the author decided to make the readers wait even more until the truth of GLY's true father was revealed.

I didn't particularly care for the other two guys. Xiao Du, the MC's older step-brother, really messed up his chances when he kicked the MC aside and planted a gu in him to make him do his bidding. No matter how much he tries to make up for his actions later, I'm with the MC that the accounts between are settled and the most he can do is treat Xiao Du as a normal brother and nothing else. And Mu Yingyang was honestly such an annoying character, so I didn't care about him at all either. He doesn't take a hint either. He can still cling onto the MC with a thick face and pester him constantly even after the MC has repeatedly told him he only sees him as a shidi and nothing else.

The author didn't try too hard with the plot. I was surprised to see the bronze mirror resurface again later on, and under the hands of the Yunjian Pavilion's pavilion master of all people. I have so many questions around this... how did he capture a whole city's worth of souls? And was his intention to control the whole cultivation world through the threat of these captured souls? We'll never know because the author never explained anything on this front....


I managed to finish this story in 2 days, so that tells you it was engaging enough for me to get through quickly.

[Libropacat · Rating 5 out of 5]

CÓMO SE LE PONE MAS ESTRELLAS A ESTO??? 😭✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️

[Olivia Hausmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 stars. I think this might be my favorite web novel of all time. The writing was so easy to read and enjoyable -- reading this book was genuinely a good time, even at moments where the plot lagged. That was probably the only issue I had. There were times where the plot was missing interesting events or dragged on. I wished specifically that the MC's identity had been revealed earlier on and felt that the whole "soul mirror" discovery on the ML's part was unnecessary. But, that's just my personal opinion.

When it comes to the MC, he's perfect. Everything he does is on his own terms, rather than allowing himself to be forced into things. He doesn't let any of the male lead candidates push him into a relationship he doesn't want, and when he does choose someone, it's when he himself truly grows feelings for them. He's independent and honestly, would have lived a well-off life on his own with his own abilities.

Still, he does end up with the ML who arguably hurt him the least. It's true the ML undeniably hurt and betrayed the MC and I felt that played a very large part in their relationship. There was no immediate forgiveness -- both ended up suffering from it. I liked that, it felt like the MC and the ML were both really realistic. And, it was also cool to see how much the ML adored and valued the MC, to the point where he sacrificed his health and his cultivation (two very important things in xianxia novels!).

It's not perfect, but I definitely would reread and strongly recommend!

[Angelica Lovera · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5
Sinopsis
Xiao Yuan tenía una gran responsabilidad. Debido a ciertas restricciones, debía llevarse bien con un grupo de escorias. Cuando la misión se completó, las restricciones desaparecieron, y Xiao Yuan gritó de alegría: ¡Ah, este es el sabor de la libertad! El Señor de los Demonios que lo trató como un juguete y lo infectó con un gusano Gu, el pequeño shidi que le desagradaba, el joven Maestro de Pabellón que usó su sangre para salvar a su propio shixiong; perdónenlo por no acompañarlos.

Más tarde, Xiao Yuan aprendió la "técnica de cambio de rostro" y pudo imitar la apariencia de cualquiera. Con esto, comenzó varios negocios: podía convertirse en lo que los clientes querían mientras le pagaran lo suficiente. El negocio de Xiao Yuan estaba en auge. Ganaba mucho dinero, y grandes personajes de todos los ámbitos acudían a él con admiración. Entonces...

Shidi: ¡Oh, nunca dejaré que mi shixiong me abandone de nuevo!
Maestro del Pabellón: Xiao Yuan, ¡¿quieres que me saque el corazón para mostrártelo?!
Señor de los Demonios: ¿Qué tengo que hacer para que el bebé me perdone? ¿Qué tal si dejo que ahora seas tú quien juegue conmigo?
Esposa persiguiendo el crematorio ardiendo por todo el mundo, Xiao Yuan, sonríe: No pregunten, preguntar significa que nunca han amado.

[Staring At A Star · Rating 4 out of 5]

The English name is "The Whole World Is My Crematorium"

The plot gets 5 stars (I couldn't stop reading), but I hate the coupling. I almost quit reading 1/3 of the way through when I realized the way the wind was blowing, but was too curious about the mystery. I ended up reading the ending and then gritting my teeth through another 80% of the book (and the increasingly infuriating romance).


It's so arbitrary how much he hates one person versus the other, and is willing to forgive in one person versus the other. But I guess that's the point the author is trying to make. No matter how stupid a person is being, if they refuse to accept someone's love, no matter how wonderful and perfect and self sacrificing that someone is, then that's not a relationship.


You can't force a person into a relationship, even if that relationship makes the most sense. Even if you've gone through death for them. It's so sad, I hate harem stories, but I wish this had been a harem. Or that there had been some side couples to relieve my grief.

[Wugui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dang, I wanted to read a heartbreaking, heart-throbbing angst novel but it only barely managed to scratch the itch. The angst is there, no doubt in the build-up. But after MC gets his freedom (about 1/4 of the novel in) it's mostly just MC retaliation/ cold treatment against MLs and other antagonist(s). It's a fairly captivating novel with an interesting premise purely based on wife-chasing crematorium. If you like the wife-chasing abuse, this would pretty much hit the spot.

For my preference... This novel is a 1v1 HE (stated in description). I would have pretty much rejoiced if it was a 4P HE. Like bring it on! But unfortunately, MC is pretty much devoted and only promises himself to one of the ML.

Overall, still a pretty nice novel.

[glau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muito bom, a escrita da Bikabi é incrível e muito fluida, ao ponto de que você mal consegue perceber o slow burn.

Gostei de todos os MLs e, embora o Xiao Du seja meu tipo favorito, não posso negar que meu favorito da vez foi o Gu Luoyin do começo ao fim (eu não sou muito fã do tipo cold and stoic jade-beauty, mas eu fiquei apaixonadíssima com o GLY, ele é um querido). O Mu Yingyang também é um querido, adoro esse tipo de shidi bobão obcecado por seu shixiong... E quem me surpreendeu foi o Shizun, ele sempre protegendo o Xiao Yuan T^T...

Uma história ótima para passar o tempo, não chega a ser uma favorita mas a qualidade é inegável. Pretendo ler as outras histórias da autora.

[Priestess Riel Valdez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Xiao Yuan, for handling the pain and pressure of being controlled and forgiving the people who’ve repented to him. But oh how much I love the suffer they have to feel, that’s the meaning of facing the consequences of what you did.
But don’t underestimate Xiao Yuan, those who deserve to suffer, suffered in his hands. They deserve it ten times more.

[Carolina Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read! Didn't find any loose ends which i thought could be a problem, and the only complain i have is that it felt a little rushed. We could have used some more development but i appreciated the story and its characters.

[emory · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

??? a lot of he looks so good in red do these ppl have a red kink

[Asya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give this 3,5/5 stars it was fun but nothing special it’s good to just kill time but I don’t know something was just missing for me (to completely love it)

[Night Lantern · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.4

[Xie Xian · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.70
A very good start but had to DNF it.
A nice read though

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.6! La revelación en la última parte fue muy buena...