F the Shoulds. Do the Wants: Get Clear on Who You Are, What You Want, and Why You Want It.

by Tricia Huffman

A simple, sticky yet powerful mindset hack from Tricia Huffman, founder and CEO of Your Joyologist, to set yourself free from the "shoulds" and reclaim your life for YOU in every moment throughout your day.

Forget what you have been told about what you "should" do or be- and ask yourself what do you want?

You have no idea how much the shoulds are running your life, holding you back, and making you question your worth on a daily basis. Tricia Huffman didn't-until she committed to eliminating all shoulds from her life. In F THE SHOULDS. DO THE WANTS, Tricia takes you on her journey of uncovering the deep-rooted implications of the word should and helps you gain the self-awareness that this simple, yet effective one word swap gave her.

She shows how the word should consciously and unconsciously weighs on us in our daily language, thoughts, and beliefs and teaches how by shifting shoulds into wants, you will:
* Recognize the "shoulds" that are at the root of your doubts, fears, resentment, and shame.
* Call out the BS stories you create and believe about yourself.
* Stop beating yourself up over the "should haves" and what already happened.
* Build a direct line to your intuition and integrity.
* Cut out your excuses and procrastination.
* Embrace, heal, and own who you are fully each day.

Stop shoulding all over yourself and learn how to listen to what it is that you truly want and feel ! By focusing on this one word, you will give yourself a direct line to what truly matters to you-and live your most present, aligned, and alive life.

Tricia Huffman's message is simple but effective: replace the word "should" with the word "want" in your vocabulary and unlock a true connection to yourself on a daily basis.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Growth, Psychology

296 pages, Paperback

Published May 10, 2022

Reviews

[Charlotte_loves_books · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐️ I kept coming back to this book over a month or so reading a chapter here and there. It has definitely had me questioning some of my ingrained shoulds and questioned what I actually want to do and it has left me feeling lighter. I think this book is less about f*ing the shoulds and more about examining your mindset and asking if you can change it. That said, the book comes from a very privileged position that it seems to fail to acknowledge. I think this book will appeal to people who come from a similar position of privilege.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was WONDERFUL. It Does well to remind the reader the amount of control they have over their life and how important it is to listen to what you really want instead of the “shoulds” placed daily on us.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Usually can’t read more than a few pages of anything without getting distracted, but I couldn’t put this down. Tricia doesn’t throw out “quick fixes” or lists of things to do that will make you happy and your life perfect (if you read anything that does that, throw it out because there is no such thing). This is like a guidebook in helping to notice negative thought patterns (specifically surrounding “should’s”, but also other stuff) so that you can begin to not only change them but figure out where they originated in the first place.

Every tip and suggestion Tricia provides is something she has used which helped her navigate difficult situations throughout her own life, which she gives examples of throughout the book.

While recognizing that life can be messy and it’s important not to dismiss that, her message is extremely empowering and emphasizes acknowledging that what we want is possible and even when times are tough, there are still good things going on as well.

[Bahar · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Please allow yourself to be worthy of having an opinion. Please allow yourself to be worthy of having a choice. Please allow yourself to be worthy of being heard, seen, accepted.”

“My friend Kat says this thing that I love: "I am a thirty-floor building, and some people only get access to the lobby." We don't have to give everyone in our lives the same access. Some people don't actually have the capacity to climb all 30 floors with you. You can love, respect, and appreciate people without giving them full access to all the floors 24/7.”

I really liked her perspective on life and found that a lot of the principles explained in the book were similar to viewpoints I already had! A good read, could definitely see myself coming back to this. :)

[Karin K · Rating 5 out of 5]

all i can say is that i LOVED this book!! i have the book version but also the audiobook. the fresh approach and way in which the book was written made it such an easy read....but one of those reads that stuck with you long after you finished each chapter. if you are needing a refresh or reset on life and really digging into what matters most to you i suggest you pick up this book...you will not regret it!

[Kristen Thurman · Rating 4 out of 5]

The philosophy behind this book is sound. While the book may get redundant from to time, I appreciate the different perspectives revealed in each chapter to accompany the theory that the word “should” is a danger in our vocabulary. I especially appreciated her telling her personal journey, as I relate to it very much. It was a nice, quick read to encourage us to pursue what feeds us.

[Meg1128 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book! Like most self/help books it had a tendency to say the same thing over and over just with different words, but it also put into words so much of what I have been struggling with myself. Seeing that and acknowledging it has already made it easier to think about how I intend to reset and move forward.

[Melissa Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. Audiobook
Perhaps this is one that may be better as a book rather than an audiobook. However, I liked the main point and it does make me stop and think about all the “should’s” in my life. How we so often do what we feel like we should based on others opinions, rather than what we want. A good lesson, but the book was repetitive at times and I felt I often was zoning out.

[Akshay Shah · Rating 2 out of 5]

You should think about reading this book but you don’t want to read this book…

Apart from a couple of good points about seeking external validation and knowing your own self-worth, this book is mostly a self-therapy session for the author with very little actionable advice.

[JP · Rating 5 out of 5]

F the Shoulds is a steady drumbeat resolute about making our aspirations intentionally about what's best for ourselves, based on our own self-awareness and without regard to forced or inaccurate expectations from others.

[Courtney Joplin]

I completed the 75 Hard challenge, and this is one of the books I read during the challenge. I understand where the author was going with it, and I did pick up some great pointers from it that I use daily. It just seemed somewhat repetitive, so it was hard to keep my full attention.

[Joy Gracia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good but not lifechanging (at least for me), the message is very important though. Energies shift when you choose different words

[Lisa Wells · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great concept. Basic writing. Annoying reading but I like the when author reads

[Marília Alves · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good book, but for me the chapters was a little repetitive. Overall it’s a good message!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes. Yes forever. If you are looking for your next Revolutionary Read this is the one for you. Each chapter is full of upgrades and evolutions to your thinking. I insist you give it a try. Once you open the first page, you will not want to stop taking in everything Tricia Huffman has to say.

[Ashlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly highly highly recommend this book. This book totally changed my perspective on life. I have implemented many of the things I learned from this book.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book that makes you think about how those should affect your life. Passed it on to a friend!

[Shelly Heenan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this book was written for me. I have lived with shoulds in my life for too long.

[April McCaffery · Rating 4 out of 5]

It started a bit slow and repetitive but it got better as she delved deeper.

[Carolyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my kind of book. Bit preachy

[Chelsea Caplan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book with a strong message about reframing how you think and speak, the last chunk got a little repetitive for me but still liked it overall!

[Michaela Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

I feel like this is a great lesson that everyone needs to hear and learn, however I don't think we needed a whole book on it! It was incredibly repetitive.

[Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some good points in this, but it is written in a slangy, familiar way that is annoying and hard to see as authoritative or trustworthy. I felt like I was reading someone's "blog" rather than a published book. She actually says "LOLOLOLOL" at one point. I haven't read much self-help, but if this is typical I'll stick with Jordan Peterson.