Courageous Parents: Becoming a good anchor for your children

by Haim Omer

This book is the most general and practical presentation of NVR (non-violent resistance) for parents to date. It is a step by step manual on how parents can develop a “new authority”, based on presence, self-control, support and persistence, instead of the authority of yore that was based on distance, intimidation and force. In its chapters parents are helped to rediscover their courage and strength, develop cooperation in spite of differences, and find legitimate ways to supervise their child. They thus fulfill an anchoring function, stabilizing the child against the pull of troubling emotions and dangerous temptations. If you’re a parent counselor or a parent yourself (or both!), you can learn concrete skills for building loving limits, giving security to an anxious child, creating order out of chaos, and bringing your child to make amends for hurts inflicted on others. Counselors can learn how to talk to parents and parents how to talk to themselves, so as to build the “village” that we need to bring up a child. Together with its companion volume, “Courageous Developing a new authority to cope with violence and chaos“, the book presents a comprehensive practical presentation on how to build a positive and legitimate authority.Professor Haim Omer is a highly reputed figure in the field of parental authority. He has written a dozen books on the subject, which have been translated into 14 languages. His methods have been validated by extensive research and have led to over 100 academic articles.

Genres: Parenting

234 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 10, 2021

Reviews

[Sofie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Na het luisteren van alle (tot nu toe 68) afleveringen van de Geweldloze Podcast belandde ik in een spreekwoordelijk rabbit hole: ik las alles wat ik kon vinden over geweldloos verzet en verbindend gezag. Van alles wat ik tot nu toe heb gelezen, is Moedig Ouderschap het meest complete, toegankelijke en inspirerende boek over deze methodiek.

Het boek duikt diep in de theorie, maar blijft tegelijkertijd helder en goed te volgen. Dat is vooral te danken aan de uitgebreide en herkenbare praktijkvoorbeelden die de theorie echt tot leven brengt. De focus ligt daarbij niet op het beheersen van het gedrag van het kind, maar juist op het gedrag van de ouder zelf. Een verfrissende benadering die duidelijk maakt dat controle over de ander een illusie is en tegelijkertijd hoopvol beschrijft dat controle over je eigen gedrag heel haalbaar is.

Daarnaast staat het boek vol krachtige oneliners die niet alleen blijven hangen, maar je ook echt motiveren om ermee aan de slag te gaan.

Een kleine kanttekening is dat de voorbeelden zich vooral richten op tieners. Interessant en leerzaam, maar voor mij persoonlijk nog een beetje een ver-van-mijn-bed-show.

Desondanks is dit wat mij betreft een absolute aanrader: niet alleen voor iedereen die betrokken is bij de opvoeding van kinderen, maar ook voor iedereen met interesse in menselijk gedrag en onderlinge dynamiek.

[Narcisa Chiric · Rating 3 out of 5]

Părinții sunt comparați cu o ancoră în viețile copiilor iar autorul explică cum aceștia își pot însuși rolul de susținere.

Găsim informații despre părinți foarte protectori, despre influența mediului în creșterea copiilor, despre ajutorul oferit de familia extinsă și în special de persoanele apropiate copilului. Există capitole chiar și despre copii anxioși, relația părinte-profesor, bullying și influența tehnologiei.

Nu pot spune că sunt de acord cu toate ideile autorului însă este o carte utilă din care putem învăța multe.

[Michel Meijer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear "manual" of how parents could prevent losing connection to their kid in a changed society where parental authority has become diluted due to societal changes, the role of social media and technology and reduction of social networks. Haim Omer argues, with many examples that support his point of view, that parents should provide a clear framework of rules and expectations, but maintain those lovingly and with connection in mind. To do that, parents need to be anchored in those believes as well. I thought the beginning of the book was stronger than the later part, as in the second half the book is more about solving problems (with families, school, internet, friends, behavior, etc) of kids. And since I lack kids with those issues, it did not resonate fully. Still 3.5 stars, rounded up.