#adulting101 – Jen Thorpe
#kwela
#NBPublishers
“For many of us, being a bona fide adult felt like a much better idea when we weren’t one yet.” (p.9) If this resonates with you on any level, even if you are so advanced in age that the thought is nothing but a distant memory, I dare you to read on.
The traditional school syllabus can in no way prepare young people for the requirements of adulthood; the perceived novelty thereof, like sleeping until noon, having lots of money, finding happiness in relationships without parental interference and not going to school and facing horrid teachers, quickly pales and fades when subjected to reality: how to find a job; where to live; relationship issues; transport; costs of living; sexual challenges; tax returns; medical aid, etc. Nobody can prepare you for what it is really like, but this book makes an excellent effort. The author does not pretend to know everything and recommendations by experts in various fields are included in the text.
The book is divided into several chapters and covers various relevant issues, each chapter preceded by a so-called cheat sheet, in effect a brief summary of the chapter to follow, and concludes with impressive lists of extra resources, detailed endnotes and an alphabetical index. The writing style is light-hearted, no-nonsense and quirky (‘I’m not a brand representative for anything and I already have to decide for myself, so I don’t have time to decide for you’), but the subjects are discussed with empathy and detail and the book is aimed at empowering young adults.
The first chapter covers general issues regarding the reader as an individual: physical (including diet, social habits, sleep and exercise) and mental (how, where and when to get help) health and creativity: ‘The economic system that we all live under works hard to convince us that everything we create must have economic value or else it is not worth our time. This is nonsense.’ (p.61)
Chapter 2, simply titled ‘Taking care of, and in, relationships’ is one of the most important and informative parts of the book. It includes challenging relationships with aging parents, friendships and romantic relationships and discusses subjects like death (the grieving process; wills and funerals); marriages and other legal partnerships (types of marriage contracts, rights of spouses, love languages); divorce (maintenance, division of assets, access to and care of minor children) and unhealthy relationships (emotional and physical abuse and the provisions of the Domestic Violence Act, 116 of 1998). There is one mistake in respect of the latter legislation, though. On p.92 the following statement is made: ‘You also have the option to lay a criminal charge of domestic violence at your local police station.’ This is incorrect, since no such criminal charge exists. The correct statement would be: You also have the right to lay a criminal charge of contravening the conditions of a Domestic Violence Protection Order at your local police station once such an order has been issued and the conditions have been breached after service thereof on the respondent.
It was refreshing to see that the chapter on sex and baby making describes sexual intercourse as something to be enjoyed, rather than simply endured – the latter having been the norm for the limited and patriarchal sex ed presented to youngsters for centuries. The discussion on sex includes the concept of informed consent; contraception and STI’s and the second part, baby making, provides information on infertility, miscarriages, adoption, AI and surrogacy.
Additional chapters cover living arrangements (renting; buying; applying for bonds; rights and obligations when renting, the latter including one of my favourite parts: ‘So if your lease says you’re renting the property as a home, you can’t suddenly set up business there and start selling your custom-made intergalactic back scratchers through the window’ p. 149); career choices (job interviews; basic conditions of employment and quitting); financial planning (getting out of a debt spiral; planning a budget; and how to register as a tax payer); misinformation and fake news; climate change; your relationship with the government and how to handle being a victim of crime.
Although the primary focus of the book is obviously the young adult market, there is nothing preventing older readers from also benefiting from such a concise source of information; it is indeed never too late to teach an old dog new tricks, after all. It is a fun and informative read and a wonderful gift for your loved ones on the verge of adulthood.
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