The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man

by John H. Lee

A record of one man's journey to find his "true masculinity" and his way out of co-dependent and addictive relationships. It's a book for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for some fresh insights into their past and their pain. It's a story about feelings - losing them, finding them and finally expressing them. Here you will find people you know; will discover a way out of the pain and see that it really is OK to express yourself without fear. The book is about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. Open the doors to understanding - men will understand themselves and each other, and women will more deeply understand men, learn how to be with wounded men and still take care of themselves.

Genres: Psychology, Philosophy, Nonfiction, Self Help

111 pages, Paperback

First published March 28, 1987

About the author

John Lee is a pioneer in the fields of self-help, anger management, co-dependency, emotional regression, recovery, emotional intelligence, relationships, and men’s issues. His highly innovative work in these fields has made him an in-demand consultant, teacher, trainer, life coach, and speaker. His contributions in these fields have put him in the national spotlight for over 35 years.

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a classic example of the younger me being a complete idiot. I remember my closest women friend giving me this book saying that it might help m , but when I read it, I took everything so personally that I decided that the book was no good, believing that I didn't need guidance!

I read this again 13 years later, the book was alright looking at ways to find a better sense of my (male) self especially as I do come from a dysfunctional family and have indeed been wounded by the two(!) unnatural deaths of my family members when I was growing up. The book makes a solid attempt at guiding wounded men and helping them(me) better express ourselves and possible live more fulfilling lives. So in hindsight I'll raise my glass to my friend who had such good intentions. 6.5 out of 12.

2007 read

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really good pieces, but definitely jumps the shark at one definitive point....and lost my attention the rest of the way.

[Reid · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book because Robert Bly recommended it in an interview in the New York Times Book Review. I'm not sure why he thought it an important book. It is a sprawling (though mercifully brief) self-pitying, navel-gazing, eye-roll-inducing mediocrity. Apparently it's Mommy's fault I can't relate well to women, though Dad has a lot to answer for. If I howl at the moon and break furniture, I will eventually heal. What a load of B.S. Don't bother.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking.

[Zach · Rating 3 out of 5]

The message in the book is good though it took a meandering route to get there it seems like. Short read so not a waste of time. Good thing to have in your back pocket.

[mae · Rating 3 out of 5]

weird but relatable as fuck.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book a lot, the quotes from different people and the honesty. He cries so much in this book that it's like he could help fill up the Great Salt Lake--I love that, he goes through a real grieving process and it's hard, it's almost suicidally hard.
I especially like the part in the book when he decides to write the book--this book--and has to come to terms with it with his family, since I am writing a book about my life, and it affects my family. He tells the truth and doesn't sugar coat it. This is a really good book, and for me, not to find out why men run from relationships. Where I am right now in my life, that doesn't really interest me. I identifiedw with the author and the process he went through, his suffering, what he did to heal and the help he received.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not normally a big fan of self-help books, like metaphysics books they often strike me as being entirely too subjective, only useful if you take on the author's outlook on life as a basic step to begin relating to the material. In this case I guess I must have a similar outlook to the author, because this book struck a chord in me that has rarely been touched. It summed up and brought to light so many of the fears I have about male identity. I would recommend it to any man who feels he belongs to the group most commonly referred to as "men raised by women".

[Yolande · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story Lee has to tell is engaging and interesting, but the writing style itself is often lacklustre, not surprising when you find out it was his first book (his writing has vastly improved). This book loses one star for it's over-dependence on gendered hierarchies and one star for the language, but is otherwise a good read.

[Jase · Rating 3 out of 5]

good, important book, but at the same time . . . ughgh

[Vince · Rating 1 out of 5]

Two things I didn't like about this book: 1) he doesn't resolve his main issue and 2) he uses violence to try to address violence (Read: Anger for a different opinion to punching pillows).