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Ruby and the V-Day Vanpires
From the critically-acclaimed authors of Back for Seconds: A Reverse Harem Feast and Regifted: Ganged by the Ghosts of Christmas comes a brand new reverse harem tale of holiday hedonism, and this time love (and lust) are on the line. They’re magical monster-hunting vampires living in a van, she’s a fed-up middle-aged divorcee attempting to geocache her Valentine’s Day into oblivion. Perfect. Now the question is: can Quintain, Fletcher, and Marcus convince Ruby that the best way to resurrect her love life is with a few guys that are also back from the dead?
Ruby and the V-Day Vanpires is a 9,619 word stimulating short story about the importance of cleaning up public parks, practicing safe archery, and that age - and getting absolutely RAILED in the back of a van by three bi vampires - is only a state of mind. This tale is written for adults, and intended for 18+ audiences only. It involves explicit group activity, unprotected “interactions” with said undead suitors and their ahem nocturnal emissions, slight kidnapping, the ol’ fangy kiss to access liquid vampire chow, being impaled (the fun way, with 2 peens in 1 V), being impaled (the NOT fun way - like, with an arrow), sex pollen/poison (aka have to the deed to survive), as well as brief mentions of Homeowner’s Associations (HOAs), and geocaching.
Ruby and the V-Day Vanpires is a 9,619 word stimulating short story about the importance of cleaning up public parks, practicing safe archery, and that age - and getting absolutely RAILED in the back of a van by three bi vampires - is only a state of mind. This tale is written for adults, and intended for 18+ audiences only. It involves explicit group activity, unprotected “interactions” with said undead suitors and their ahem nocturnal emissions, slight kidnapping, the ol’ fangy kiss to access liquid vampire chow, being impaled (the fun way, with 2 peens in 1 V), being impaled (the NOT fun way - like, with an arrow), sex pollen/poison (aka have to the deed to survive), as well as brief mentions of Homeowner’s Associations (HOAs), and geocaching.
52 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 16, 2022
24 people are currently reading
118 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
March 1, 2025
It was funny, sweet and spicy.
All things you expect when Vera Valentine is involved.
Will def be looking for more from J.L. Logosz in the future.
All things you expect when Vera Valentine is involved.
Will def be looking for more from J.L. Logosz in the future.
May 10, 2023
3.5 stars
This was a smutty but cute short story featuring a middle aged woman and vampires. I liked the acceptance from each character, but I think another 50 pages would have made it easier to invest in all of them as a couple.
Spice: 5/5
Triggers: accidental drugging leading to dubcon
This was a smutty but cute short story featuring a middle aged woman and vampires. I liked the acceptance from each character, but I think another 50 pages would have made it easier to invest in all of them as a couple.
Spice: 5/5
Triggers: accidental drugging leading to dubcon
February 15, 2025
I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS EROTICA 😭😭 Definitely my own fault for insisting on going into every book completely blind, but whatever. To be clear, I did in fact read every word in one sitting (for fear of putting it down and never looking back), and I did in fact enjoy it.
My dad got me this book (crazy, I know, but I'm an adult and I doubt he had any idea of what a FILTHY book this is) because I love vampires, and I waited a full week to read it on Valentine's Day. Imagine my surprise when reading the dedication only to discover that the authors hope that I feel warmth in all of my... orifices?? Immediately, it dawned on me that this would not be the wholesome vamp experience that I'd been anticipating. Upon this realization, I finished the dedication, skipped the authors' note, and got straight into it. I know that this seems like an odd choice from a guy who's never even considered reading a book in this genre, so I will take this opportunity to reiterate my motivations. First, I love vampires so much that all I've been thinking about for the past week is reading this book. Second, I hate spoilers of any kind and could sense them with a quick glance at the authors' note. Third, I'm gay, and the dedication spoke of bisexual vamp boys. So, I simply had no choice but to enter the freak zone with great haste.
Even with my newfound knowledge of what was in store, I was caught off guard as things started getting freaky within the first 10 pages! I understand that this is probably standard, especially considering the length of this book, so maybe that's on me for not giving myself time to adjust my expectations. Still, I persevered. I'm usually annoyed/bored by sex scenes in books, even moreso when it's of the hetero variety, but I suppose this book is full of surprises. I liked the writing (sans typos, of which there were many). Unlike a lot of books, my appreciation for the writing extends to the explicit scenes. Most of the book is sex, sex, passing out, and more sex (mostly het) and I STILL got through it. Like yes, it was a very quick read and I was dedicated to this book before I even started it, but if I wasn't having fun I would've stopped. However, it would be disingenuous to pretend that there wasn't any need for an editor. I had a great time, but if you're the kind of person whose immersion is broken by typos and grammatical errors, this is definitely not the book for you. The writing isn't perfect, but it held my attention throughout.
This book was wholesome in a way that I wasn't expecting, and the vamps were HOT!!! I loved their dynamic. It felt like they cared about each other and Ruby, and they each had distinct personalities and quirks that made them feel real—well, as real as a vampire can feel. I liked Ruby, too, though she somehow didn't feel quite as real as her fantastical captors. She had a personality for sure (I think??), but her motivations had me scratching my head at times. She's immediately accepting of anything going on around her or happening directly to her, and I mean anything. I'm baffled that a human who'd been shot and abducted by vampires experiences less shock in this story than the vampires who abducted her.
But anyway, the vampires were awesome and that's literally the only reason I got this book. Best vamps I've read in 2025 thus far, though that's definitely going to change. I didn't know what I was getting into with this book, but I enjoyed it against all odds. I doubt I'm coming back to this genre any time soon. It was fun, though. Happy Valentine's Day! 💘💘
My dad got me this book (crazy, I know, but I'm an adult and I doubt he had any idea of what a FILTHY book this is) because I love vampires, and I waited a full week to read it on Valentine's Day. Imagine my surprise when reading the dedication only to discover that the authors hope that I feel warmth in all of my... orifices?? Immediately, it dawned on me that this would not be the wholesome vamp experience that I'd been anticipating. Upon this realization, I finished the dedication, skipped the authors' note, and got straight into it. I know that this seems like an odd choice from a guy who's never even considered reading a book in this genre, so I will take this opportunity to reiterate my motivations. First, I love vampires so much that all I've been thinking about for the past week is reading this book. Second, I hate spoilers of any kind and could sense them with a quick glance at the authors' note. Third, I'm gay, and the dedication spoke of bisexual vamp boys. So, I simply had no choice but to enter the freak zone with great haste.
Even with my newfound knowledge of what was in store, I was caught off guard as things started getting freaky within the first 10 pages! I understand that this is probably standard, especially considering the length of this book, so maybe that's on me for not giving myself time to adjust my expectations. Still, I persevered. I'm usually annoyed/bored by sex scenes in books, even moreso when it's of the hetero variety, but I suppose this book is full of surprises. I liked the writing (sans typos, of which there were many). Unlike a lot of books, my appreciation for the writing extends to the explicit scenes. Most of the book is sex, sex, passing out, and more sex (mostly het) and I STILL got through it. Like yes, it was a very quick read and I was dedicated to this book before I even started it, but if I wasn't having fun I would've stopped. However, it would be disingenuous to pretend that there wasn't any need for an editor. I had a great time, but if you're the kind of person whose immersion is broken by typos and grammatical errors, this is definitely not the book for you. The writing isn't perfect, but it held my attention throughout.
This book was wholesome in a way that I wasn't expecting, and the vamps were HOT!!! I loved their dynamic. It felt like they cared about each other and Ruby, and they each had distinct personalities and quirks that made them feel real—well, as real as a vampire can feel. I liked Ruby, too, though she somehow didn't feel quite as real as her fantastical captors. She had a personality for sure (I think??), but her motivations had me scratching my head at times. She's immediately accepting of anything going on around her or happening directly to her, and I mean anything. I'm baffled that a human who'd been shot and abducted by vampires experiences less shock in this story than the vampires who abducted her.
But anyway, the vampires were awesome and that's literally the only reason I got this book. Best vamps I've read in 2025 thus far, though that's definitely going to change. I didn't know what I was getting into with this book, but I enjoyed it against all odds. I doubt I'm coming back to this genre any time soon. It was fun, though. Happy Valentine's Day! 💘💘
January 9, 2025
My second cursed read! Poorly edited, spacially confusing, still kinda hot? While the premise is goofy, an immediate yes to a vampire orgy invite seems kinda relatable.
Inexplicably assigned for bookclub 😆
Inexplicably assigned for bookclub 😆
April 2, 2023
I'm a simple woman: if I see a book with 3 vampires in a van, a compelling protagonist and the perfect mix of spice and comedy, I'm all in
February 14, 2024
När jag helt plötsligt får en nyfunnen uppskattning för dörr-boken är det dags att börja bli orolig för min mentala hälsa
February 1, 2025
Okay, the writing in this was not my favorite and had a confusing narrator. I literally couldn't stop laughing. The idea of 3 sexy vampires is delightful, but this book didn't do that justice for me.
May 10, 2024
Okay so the whole premise of geocaching and finding a dead body who has a condom on him was really weird. Usually it’s the intercourse that it’s weird and funny but three cupid vampires that look like the children of chutulu and save a random woman geocaching from a undead dude wearing condoms was more entertaining that i thought.
Also, Ruby is the most relatable character I’ve ever seen in one of those erotica. The fact that she sees their true form and she’s like « I not scared of you, have you seen the man out there? Also I’ve been married and now I am divorced and horny so I don’t give a damn »
Also, Ruby is the most relatable character I’ve ever seen in one of those erotica. The fact that she sees their true form and she’s like « I not scared of you, have you seen the man out there? Also I’ve been married and now I am divorced and horny so I don’t give a damn »
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January 16, 2025For 40 pages of pure smut, this was not bad. I read it for a book club and I'm not sure what we will discuss. But something this book made me think about is how romance and erotica are popular because anything is possible, including things that don't seem possible in real life. Take this book for example. Ruby is a middle aged woman who is instantly both attractive to and attracted to 3 hunky young looking vampires. In real life, being a middle aged woman doesn't automatically make you unattractive, but our culture would have you believe that this situation is ridiculous because her age makes her undesirable. Yet, this story wants you to believe anything is possible. And I think that's such a great thing about romance :)
February 23, 2022
I never dreamed I'd fall in love with a bunch of Vampires living inside a van, but... somehow it happened. This book is hot as fuck. Unbelievably so. I expected laughs, but I didn't except to find myself hunched over my book panting like a dog in heat.
Love the mature heroine. Love her unabashed enjoyment of sex. Love that the vampires had true monster forms that she accepted whole-heartedly. LOVE the heat and the banter and the devotion of the heroes.
If this was a full-length book I'd buy it in a heartbeat! But alas... it is simply a short and spicy novella that I'll read over and over again.
Love the mature heroine. Love her unabashed enjoyment of sex. Love that the vampires had true monster forms that she accepted whole-heartedly. LOVE the heat and the banter and the devotion of the heroes.
If this was a full-length book I'd buy it in a heartbeat! But alas... it is simply a short and spicy novella that I'll read over and over again.
February 18, 2023
This is confusing to read and I wasn’t into the female MC here for some reason. The men/beings are “vanpires” but work with Cupid? She’s dying and only sex will save her? Eye roll. I was also confused how old the female MC was because she says she’s in menopause or past menopause? So she can’t get pregnant. Um, what? This is over the top but if you’ve read other stuff by these two you should expect that. I just don’t think this story was presented as well as it could have been.
This was meh to okay for me. I’d say read it, form your own opinion and move on. Not much memorable here, but it is short.
This was meh to okay for me. I’d say read it, form your own opinion and move on. Not much memorable here, but it is short.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 20, 2024
a suburban bitey delight
Slam dunk! Started off with some action - an undead corpse tries to kill our FMC when she is rescued by a poison arrow shot by a vampire! Now they must ... do things... with her to save her life. Yes there is a creepy van. But it has a shag carpet and plenty of room for activities. They get right to the point. And why should she have to choose when she can choose them all? Watching these bat boys domesticate into suburban house bats was a joy. Anyone who lives in an HOA would understand.
Slam dunk! Started off with some action - an undead corpse tries to kill our FMC when she is rescued by a poison arrow shot by a vampire! Now they must ... do things... with her to save her life. Yes there is a creepy van. But it has a shag carpet and plenty of room for activities. They get right to the point. And why should she have to choose when she can choose them all? Watching these bat boys domesticate into suburban house bats was a joy. Anyone who lives in an HOA would understand.
February 12, 2024
Anyone who rates this less than 5 stars is a miseria. I don’t make the rules, HOA does. This was such a fun little story. I loved Ruby and thought she was real and hilarious. Our Vanpires were precious too and such a hoot. The spice was super hot and fun. Valentine’s Day, Cupid as your boss, undead, bisexual fun. Yes yes yes. I need more. So freaking fun! Vera and Logosz have such a stunning writing style too. The descriptions were ✨chefs kiss✨. Must read.
February 18, 2022
Perfect Blend of Humor & Spice
This was my first read from the duo, and I loved it!!! It was a great bite of hot romance that kept me laughing the whole time! I can’t resist puns😂 Fantastic short story that left me wanting more yet completely satisfied.❤️
PS…completely agree HOAs are the worst😂
This was my first read from the duo, and I loved it!!! It was a great bite of hot romance that kept me laughing the whole time! I can’t resist puns😂 Fantastic short story that left me wanting more yet completely satisfied.❤️
PS…completely agree HOAs are the worst😂
February 19, 2022
XD oh. my. god. The creativity of this duo is unparalleled and I know I'm in for a treat whenever I pick up their work. This story was peak comedy and great spice all rolled into one. If you want to make your day better I definitely recommend picking up this story
February 7, 2023
YES
O.M.Gawd!
I need a full novel of all these characters! I loved them, I loved the writing, the characters, the s-mex, the world building which we only got a quick glimpse at—aaaaaaaaaaah
I need more!
O.M.Gawd!
I need a full novel of all these characters! I loved them, I loved the writing, the characters, the s-mex, the world building which we only got a quick glimpse at—aaaaaaaaaaah
I need more!
September 16, 2023
Fun spice all year ‘round
Well this was a fun, quick, sexy read. There isn’t much plot, but who cares? What did I love? Her 3 vamps’ attentiveness, that she is post-menopausal, and the unexpected cupid tie-in. You don’t need to wait until V-day to enjoy it.
Well this was a fun, quick, sexy read. There isn’t much plot, but who cares? What did I love? Her 3 vamps’ attentiveness, that she is post-menopausal, and the unexpected cupid tie-in. You don’t need to wait until V-day to enjoy it.
February 11, 2024
This adorable cover hides just how smutty this mini-novella is! Once again, I chose something for the cover and title. It camouflages the much smuttier interior. Definitely an 18+ read. However, it didn’t feel as dirty as some others I’ve read. The epilogue also felt rushed. It was just tying up what happened after. Not bad, only 52 pages, easy reader.
August 16, 2024
A cute short story about three vampires and a human? Sign me up. While short, sweet, and to the point, I will say I felt like we missed some great opportunity to see more character development. Either way, I loved this little read.❤️
February 2, 2025
This was a book club read, my first joining the club… and it was delightfully unhinged. Like I’ve read monster smut before, and why choose; but, not monster why choose. Also the subtle jabs at twilight all done under 60 pages. Kinda impressive
February 18, 2022
So good
This is funny, spicy and sweet. Ruby finds three Valentine vampires to love and adore her. I loved the happy ending.
This is funny, spicy and sweet. Ruby finds three Valentine vampires to love and adore her. I loved the happy ending.
February 18, 2022
Smutty fun!
A quick read with fangs, fun and filth! I also really enjoyed the secondary theme of accepting others for who they truly are.
A quick read with fangs, fun and filth! I also really enjoyed the secondary theme of accepting others for who they truly are.
February 22, 2022
A cute, sexy quickie! Fun and full of acceptance it was the perfect short read.
February 23, 2022
Hot and hilarious!
June 9, 2022
I love the title. This was pure nonsense and I was 100% here for every ridiculous piece of lore that got added suddenly out of nowhere. It was perfect nonsense!
September 3, 2022
Not her best work. Not as snarky as it Back for Seconds, or as… compelling as Squeak.
October 24, 2022
I really enjoyed this one! I wish it was longer!
November 14, 2022
IHeart Vera!!!!
Read her read all of her books! She manages to hit my funny bone as well and dear me I can't get enogh!!!
Read her read all of her books! She manages to hit my funny bone as well and dear me I can't get enogh!!!
February 27, 2023
That does it! Ruby is my favorite character!!!
This was difficult to get into at first but then WHAM, BAM, thank you ma'am! I couldn't put it down!
Absolutely love Ruby!
This was difficult to get into at first but then WHAM, BAM, thank you ma'am! I couldn't put it down!
Absolutely love Ruby!
March 14, 2023
Immaculate vibes. Absolutely top tier.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews