Thoughts while reading: What is this book? Who is Ben Okri? Where the heck is Nigeria and why haven't I been there?
Migosh.
I'm such a mystic-fetishist. The book describes the conversations that occur in the Betweens, the conversations I usually hear "with the Voices in my head". The guides, all of them, the temptations, the losses and fires and archangel of the invisible, the prophet-king, the bridge, the long, long bouts of appreciative silences, are all regular beings in the landscapes of the Betweens.
(I seem to write longer reviews here especially when I'm mysticstruck. Every time I find a book that deals with the Betweens, I gush. It's getting old, and I'm sorry I'm such a bore. But to be otherwise, to write other things that are less mystical, more commercial, turns me and my table and every technological advantage bestowed upon me into flaccid matter as dull as dinars.)
I am never going to find the Betweens through these books and descriptions. I'm only finding validation, the assurance that I'm not so crazy. I'm not off the charts. That it may not be mainstream, but it's a valid, worthwhile (and occasionally joyous) path nonetheless
If I can't find the Betweens, and get over this awestruck tone, then I'm never going to find it. It's here, in the stillness. It's not a place of arrival or a real estate to mortgage. It's not a reachable goal. It's not stagnant. It's there, just close enough for perfection's despair to almost, almost reach and always, always lose again.
And to dare living without goals, to accept the decisiveness of constant loss, might as well be the only work we're meant to do here, to keep repeating and relearning, and never really get used to.