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Lives Like Mine
Mother.
To three small children, their heritage dual like hers.
Daughter.
To a mother who immigrated to make a better life but has been rejected by her chosen country.
Wife.
To a man who loves her but who will not defend her to his intolerant family.
Woman…
Whose roles now define her and trap her in a life she no longer recognises…
Meet Monica, the flawed heroine at the heart of LIVES LIKE MINE.
With her three children in school, Monica finds herself wondering if this is all there is. Despite all the effort and the smiles, in the mirror she sees a woman hollowed out from putting everyone else first, tolerating her in-laws’ intolerance, and wondering if she has a right to complain when she’s living the life that she has created for herself.
Then along comes Joe, a catalyst for change in the guise of a flirtatious parent on the school run. Though the sudden spark of their affair is hedonistic and oh so cathartic, Joe soon offers a friendship that shows Monica how to resurrect and honour the parts of her identity that she has long suppressed. He is able to do for Monica what Dan has never managed to, enabling her both to face up to a past of guilty secrets and family estrangements, and to redefine her future.
To three small children, their heritage dual like hers.
Daughter.
To a mother who immigrated to make a better life but has been rejected by her chosen country.
Wife.
To a man who loves her but who will not defend her to his intolerant family.
Woman…
Whose roles now define her and trap her in a life she no longer recognises…
Meet Monica, the flawed heroine at the heart of LIVES LIKE MINE.
With her three children in school, Monica finds herself wondering if this is all there is. Despite all the effort and the smiles, in the mirror she sees a woman hollowed out from putting everyone else first, tolerating her in-laws’ intolerance, and wondering if she has a right to complain when she’s living the life that she has created for herself.
Then along comes Joe, a catalyst for change in the guise of a flirtatious parent on the school run. Though the sudden spark of their affair is hedonistic and oh so cathartic, Joe soon offers a friendship that shows Monica how to resurrect and honour the parts of her identity that she has long suppressed. He is able to do for Monica what Dan has never managed to, enabling her both to face up to a past of guilty secrets and family estrangements, and to redefine her future.
384 pages, Paperback
Published February 3, 2022
43 people are currently reading
982 people want to read
About the author
Eva Verde
5 books30 followersEva Verde is a writer from East London. Identity, class and female rage are recurring themes throughout her work and her novels Lives Like Mine and In Bloom are published by Simon and Schuster.
Eva's love song to libraries, I Am Not Your Tituba forms part of Kit De Waal’s Common People: An Anthology of Working-Class Writers. Her words have featured in Marie Claire, Grazia, Elle and The Big Issue, also penning the new foreword for the international bestselling author Jackie Collins Goddess of Vengeance.
Them Girls, her third novel will be published in April 2026 by Simon and Schuster.
Eva lives in Essex with her husband, children and dog.
Instagram @evakinderwrites
evaverdebooks.com
Eva's love song to libraries, I Am Not Your Tituba forms part of Kit De Waal’s Common People: An Anthology of Working-Class Writers. Her words have featured in Marie Claire, Grazia, Elle and The Big Issue, also penning the new foreword for the international bestselling author Jackie Collins Goddess of Vengeance.
Them Girls, her third novel will be published in April 2026 by Simon and Schuster.
Eva lives in Essex with her husband, children and dog.
Instagram @evakinderwrites
evaverdebooks.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
April 18, 2022
An Essex woman and almost 40, mixed race Monica has three kids with her almost perfect White husband; his one significant failing is his inability to defend or even perceive her mistreatment by his racist family. Her youngest is now five and she's began to really start thinking about her next steps in life, but as the BREXIT vote looms her now enabled husband's racist family are getting worse, when along comes someone who does seem to actually listen to her, as well as turn her on... another man!
So many reasons I love this book with a Black mixed race protagonist, first of all despite having racism as a core theme that's not really what this book is primarily about, for me it was primarily about the age old issue of men (not) being in their woman's corner when it comes to 'their family'; it's also about how many people of colour have to 'manage' the people around them on a daily basis; it tells the TRUTH (I was there) how BREXIT enabled/revealed overt racist behaviour; it's also brilliantly about alcoholism/addiction; and yet manages to take a look at mixed relationships, socially empowered male sexual predators, inter family relationships and carnal lust! What ultimately breathed life into this read is having Monica be such a flawed = real character. Fab read! 9.5 out of 12.
2022 read
So many reasons I love this book with a Black mixed race protagonist, first of all despite having racism as a core theme that's not really what this book is primarily about, for me it was primarily about the age old issue of men (not) being in their woman's corner when it comes to 'their family'; it's also about how many people of colour have to 'manage' the people around them on a daily basis; it tells the TRUTH (I was there) how BREXIT enabled/revealed overt racist behaviour; it's also brilliantly about alcoholism/addiction; and yet manages to take a look at mixed relationships, socially empowered male sexual predators, inter family relationships and carnal lust! What ultimately breathed life into this read is having Monica be such a flawed = real character. Fab read! 9.5 out of 12.
2022 read
November 6, 2022
The story had elements in it which I don't always like to read about but it was done very well. Easy getting invested ib the story.
March 25, 2021
A deeply emotive and incredibly authentic story that explores the effects of deceit and regret in marriage and family.
Monica is wife to Dan, and together they have three children: Fran, Joel, and Toby. She’s a Black woman, and her husband is a white man. Despite being part of the family for more than 13 years, Monica still feels like an outsider when it comes to her in-laws. And it's easy to understand why, every other utterance of theirs is lined with discrimination.
But one day, Monica meets Joe on a school trip and the two are instantly drawn to one another. The more time Monica and Joe spend together, the more the connection between them deepens. They understand each other in ways their spouses cannot, which makes it harder and harder to ignore a growing fondness. Monica is trapped in her domestic life and has hidden layers of herself away that only Joe can seem to unravel. And in facing the secrets of her past, Monica learns to look forward to the future.
Since the book is narrated by Monica, there's a candid feel to the writing that makes it easy to connect to. I can relate to the character's personality in many ways, despite our lives being completely different. Verde shapes her characters really well, they’re honest, flawed, and occasionally inconsistent, but built with a likeability that pushes you to root for their contentment. I disagree with most of Monica’s actions, and pretty much all of Dan’s, yet I was still engrossed in their story.
Verde also accurately exposes the micro aggressions that Black women face on a daily basis. Touching the hair, the backhanded comments, and the awkward stares. But she also portrays the need to fit in that so many Black women also feel, as well as the anxiety that comes with it. Her writing doesn’t shy away from a truthful representation, which was at times hard for me to read and re-experience, but still essential to telling this story.
There's a strong theme of self-acceptance in Lives Like Mine, which runs alongside themes of faithfulness, race, and the complexity of family. Monica has a very strained relationship with her parents while Dan fails to counsel his, and the contrast balances the narrative really well. Although I must admit, Dan's family are infuriatingly ignorant. I also liked the deep dive into an interracial marriage and the bumps and bruises in this relationship a decade down the line. The influence of extend family and in-laws is another pressure on Monica’s shoulders, and the change in family dynamic was interesting to follow.
Overall, I enjoyed reading Lives Like Mine. Verde’s confident writing style combined with blemished but complex characters made for an excellent debut.
Monica is wife to Dan, and together they have three children: Fran, Joel, and Toby. She’s a Black woman, and her husband is a white man. Despite being part of the family for more than 13 years, Monica still feels like an outsider when it comes to her in-laws. And it's easy to understand why, every other utterance of theirs is lined with discrimination.
But one day, Monica meets Joe on a school trip and the two are instantly drawn to one another. The more time Monica and Joe spend together, the more the connection between them deepens. They understand each other in ways their spouses cannot, which makes it harder and harder to ignore a growing fondness. Monica is trapped in her domestic life and has hidden layers of herself away that only Joe can seem to unravel. And in facing the secrets of her past, Monica learns to look forward to the future.
Since the book is narrated by Monica, there's a candid feel to the writing that makes it easy to connect to. I can relate to the character's personality in many ways, despite our lives being completely different. Verde shapes her characters really well, they’re honest, flawed, and occasionally inconsistent, but built with a likeability that pushes you to root for their contentment. I disagree with most of Monica’s actions, and pretty much all of Dan’s, yet I was still engrossed in their story.
Verde also accurately exposes the micro aggressions that Black women face on a daily basis. Touching the hair, the backhanded comments, and the awkward stares. But she also portrays the need to fit in that so many Black women also feel, as well as the anxiety that comes with it. Her writing doesn’t shy away from a truthful representation, which was at times hard for me to read and re-experience, but still essential to telling this story.
There's a strong theme of self-acceptance in Lives Like Mine, which runs alongside themes of faithfulness, race, and the complexity of family. Monica has a very strained relationship with her parents while Dan fails to counsel his, and the contrast balances the narrative really well. Although I must admit, Dan's family are infuriatingly ignorant. I also liked the deep dive into an interracial marriage and the bumps and bruises in this relationship a decade down the line. The influence of extend family and in-laws is another pressure on Monica’s shoulders, and the change in family dynamic was interesting to follow.
Overall, I enjoyed reading Lives Like Mine. Verde’s confident writing style combined with blemished but complex characters made for an excellent debut.
July 23, 2021
“Packed tight and resentful beneath my careful layers of protection, there’s a gnawing in my heart as I fray between the versions of myself.”
Lives Like Mine explores where identity, marriage, motherhood, and racism intersects for Eva Verde’s main character.
Having been subsumed by her role as housewife and mother, with all three children now in school, Monica Crane finally has the opportunity to take a breath. Though she loves her husband, Dan, and adores her kids, twin twelve year olds Joel and Toby and five year old Fran, approaching forty, she’s realising she doesn’t know who she is, or what she wants.
It’s a crossroads many women reach, and deal with in different ways. Monica’s solution is less conventional than most, she begins an affair with Joe, the married father of one of Fran’s school friends, in part to reconnect with the woman she was before she was a wife and mother, to rediscover passion. Its not a decision I would make, or even approve of, but Verde crafts a honest narrative that lets me understand Monica’s decision, and recognise the ways in which it benefits her.
It helps that I found Monica’s husband to be infuriating. Monica’s identity crisis is exacerbated by the treatment she receives from him and her in-law’s. Monica is half black (Trinidadian mother/British father), while Dan and his extended family are white. Her in-laws, with one or two exceptions, have made it clear from the first that she is tolerated as Dan’s wife, and her children’s mother, as long as she doesn’t draw attention to her difference, or call them out on their racist remarks. Their barely concealed antipathy is wearing on her psyche, especially as her husband does nothing to protest, offering excuses for his family, or accusing her of being oversensitive. Set in post-Brexit England, Verde also highlights the escalation of both micro-aggressions and outright violence aimed at people of colour in public. Verde does an excellent job of representing the toll all these behaviours take on a persons sense of self, and their ability to interact with the world around them.
To reconcile with both her identity and her past, Monica also needs to reconnect with her parents, from whom she has been estranged since was sixteen. That separation, and the reasons for it, has impacted on many facets of her life. Coming to terms with those relationships is an important element is she wants to move forward.
Lives Like Mine is bold, Insightful and honest, with a complex protagonist that demands to be heard. An excellent debut.
Lives Like Mine explores where identity, marriage, motherhood, and racism intersects for Eva Verde’s main character.
Having been subsumed by her role as housewife and mother, with all three children now in school, Monica Crane finally has the opportunity to take a breath. Though she loves her husband, Dan, and adores her kids, twin twelve year olds Joel and Toby and five year old Fran, approaching forty, she’s realising she doesn’t know who she is, or what she wants.
It’s a crossroads many women reach, and deal with in different ways. Monica’s solution is less conventional than most, she begins an affair with Joe, the married father of one of Fran’s school friends, in part to reconnect with the woman she was before she was a wife and mother, to rediscover passion. Its not a decision I would make, or even approve of, but Verde crafts a honest narrative that lets me understand Monica’s decision, and recognise the ways in which it benefits her.
It helps that I found Monica’s husband to be infuriating. Monica’s identity crisis is exacerbated by the treatment she receives from him and her in-law’s. Monica is half black (Trinidadian mother/British father), while Dan and his extended family are white. Her in-laws, with one or two exceptions, have made it clear from the first that she is tolerated as Dan’s wife, and her children’s mother, as long as she doesn’t draw attention to her difference, or call them out on their racist remarks. Their barely concealed antipathy is wearing on her psyche, especially as her husband does nothing to protest, offering excuses for his family, or accusing her of being oversensitive. Set in post-Brexit England, Verde also highlights the escalation of both micro-aggressions and outright violence aimed at people of colour in public. Verde does an excellent job of representing the toll all these behaviours take on a persons sense of self, and their ability to interact with the world around them.
To reconcile with both her identity and her past, Monica also needs to reconnect with her parents, from whom she has been estranged since was sixteen. That separation, and the reasons for it, has impacted on many facets of her life. Coming to terms with those relationships is an important element is she wants to move forward.
Lives Like Mine is bold, Insightful and honest, with a complex protagonist that demands to be heard. An excellent debut.
October 29, 2021
I enjoyed this, I thought it was good, I'd say go for it if you were interested in it. But I didn't reach for it, I didn't think mmm yes time to read. Maybe it's because I was constantly trying to insert my own family into it and that was depressing but I think it was just fine. Am I glad I read it? I guess?
Hope you've enjoyed the incoherent babbling.
Hope you've enjoyed the incoherent babbling.
Read
August 4, 2021Monica is a mother who has succumbed to silencing her anguish for too long. She’s married to Dan, the classic privileged white dude, who comes from a racist, patriarchal family. But being estranged from her own family, Monica becomes pretty embedded in Dan’s family narrative and ends up losing her identity.
As you know, motherhood and identity are huge areas of interest for me, and Eva Verde brings a whole new light to the topic with her examination of race, class and privilege in this book.
At its essence, this is an intimate examination of Monica’s life, in the deep abyss of motherhood. It’s a family drama, a love story, and Monica’s journey to claiming an identity of her own and demanding some respect from her so called family.
As you know, motherhood and identity are huge areas of interest for me, and Eva Verde brings a whole new light to the topic with her examination of race, class and privilege in this book.
At its essence, this is an intimate examination of Monica’s life, in the deep abyss of motherhood. It’s a family drama, a love story, and Monica’s journey to claiming an identity of her own and demanding some respect from her so called family.
June 26, 2021
Narrated by Monica, a bored housewife, mother to three children and a wife to Dan, who unfortunately comes with a horrible family. I enjoyed reading about Monica's relationships and how she struggles with self acceptance in a story of deceit, regret and bigotry. The messiness of her life, her flaws and passions are told in such a way this book is easy to consume.
3,5 stars for me.
3,5 stars for me.
March 31, 2024
This was really really good. I’m confused that it doesn’t have higher ratings. Racism is everywhere and here to stay, unfortunately. This book just shows a bit of it. Definitely recommend reading this.
June 1, 2021
Eva Verde’s debut novel is truly stunning and highly engrossing. It provides a realistic, in-depth exploration of the complexities of different relationships- of husband and wife, of in-laws- and is one not to be missed.
I particularly loved the first-person narration of Monica, which was very emotive. Reading the pages created feelings of frustration and anger, but also sadness and hurt. Monica is not a perfect mother, daughter, wife, woman. She is human though, thanks to Verde’s fantastic writing and characterisation, with her flaws making her a character that feels more like a person which the reader can connect to in an effective way. The honesty in her narration, complemented by the, at times, humorous tone of it, creates a complex but brilliant character who you will feel fully invested in, to the point where you wish you could shout at Monica and help her!
Verde also importantly through Monica’s experiences provides truthful representations of what people of colour experience on a regular basis. Monica is not the only character to experience racist actions of physical and verbal abuse, but even her children do. She also doesn’t just experience this from strangers, but additionally her own family, as a wife in an interracial marriage. Verde explores how families can hugely influence us, including our actions and relationships. There’s also an emphasis on how those that may believe they are not being racist are through microaggressions which Monica in particular experiences, including from her own husband. She presents how these are wrong because they allow the racist acts to continue, whilst making her feel that she isn’t being heard or listened to, and it’s crucial that Monica knows she is not wrong for seeing the racism behind certain comments or actions, much to the criticism of her husband. She is assertive of her beliefs in her narration, but Verde also evokes how difficult it can be to get these across to someone, even a husband, when there are personal relationships at stake.
Deceit is a central feature of the novel. Verde does not allow Monica’s deceit however to plainly be seen as morally wrong, rather providing a wider perspective that incorporates how the motivation for this is caused by built up frustrations from the mistakes of others, especially of her husband. The ending brilliantly evokes the complexities of this, for the party committing the deceit, and for the person experiencing it. I loved how it ended with a note of optimism and hope for the future. Although deceit can cause pain and hurt, it can also be eye opening and allow for healing.
I really recommend this authentic, thought-provoking book that was absolutely delightful to read. You will definitely want to learn more about Monica and read her wonderful narrative perspective!
Out on June 10 2021.
Thank you so much to Simon & Schuster for my proof copy of the book, in exchange for an honest review!
I particularly loved the first-person narration of Monica, which was very emotive. Reading the pages created feelings of frustration and anger, but also sadness and hurt. Monica is not a perfect mother, daughter, wife, woman. She is human though, thanks to Verde’s fantastic writing and characterisation, with her flaws making her a character that feels more like a person which the reader can connect to in an effective way. The honesty in her narration, complemented by the, at times, humorous tone of it, creates a complex but brilliant character who you will feel fully invested in, to the point where you wish you could shout at Monica and help her!
Verde also importantly through Monica’s experiences provides truthful representations of what people of colour experience on a regular basis. Monica is not the only character to experience racist actions of physical and verbal abuse, but even her children do. She also doesn’t just experience this from strangers, but additionally her own family, as a wife in an interracial marriage. Verde explores how families can hugely influence us, including our actions and relationships. There’s also an emphasis on how those that may believe they are not being racist are through microaggressions which Monica in particular experiences, including from her own husband. She presents how these are wrong because they allow the racist acts to continue, whilst making her feel that she isn’t being heard or listened to, and it’s crucial that Monica knows she is not wrong for seeing the racism behind certain comments or actions, much to the criticism of her husband. She is assertive of her beliefs in her narration, but Verde also evokes how difficult it can be to get these across to someone, even a husband, when there are personal relationships at stake.
Deceit is a central feature of the novel. Verde does not allow Monica’s deceit however to plainly be seen as morally wrong, rather providing a wider perspective that incorporates how the motivation for this is caused by built up frustrations from the mistakes of others, especially of her husband. The ending brilliantly evokes the complexities of this, for the party committing the deceit, and for the person experiencing it. I loved how it ended with a note of optimism and hope for the future. Although deceit can cause pain and hurt, it can also be eye opening and allow for healing.
I really recommend this authentic, thought-provoking book that was absolutely delightful to read. You will definitely want to learn more about Monica and read her wonderful narrative perspective!
Out on June 10 2021.
Thank you so much to Simon & Schuster for my proof copy of the book, in exchange for an honest review!
July 19, 2021
Lives Like Mine is a human interest story that captures the current climate of increasing racial tensions, and the refusal to be silenced which in part, is signalled by the rise in fiction highlighting the inequality that certainly still exists.
Monica, wife and mother, is feeling increasingly invisible. The thankless tasks she performs daily go unnoticed. Her husband Dan's family are openly hostile and racist to her, and she longs for him to stick up for her. Instead he feels she is over sensitive and paranoid.
When she becomes close to another parent, Joe, she feels seen. And despite her guilt, their relationship enables her to become herself. She confronts everyone around her with her truth and finds courage to be true to herself.
Filled with family tensions, and past hurts, this is an intimate portrait of a marriage, of family and of what it means to be a person of colour post Brexit, where it seems somehow to have become 'acceptable' to spout trite garbage such as the likes of Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins have demonstrated.
Really beautifully written, this book is current, it's brutally honest and would make a brilliant book group choice as there is plenty to discuss.
Monica, wife and mother, is feeling increasingly invisible. The thankless tasks she performs daily go unnoticed. Her husband Dan's family are openly hostile and racist to her, and she longs for him to stick up for her. Instead he feels she is over sensitive and paranoid.
When she becomes close to another parent, Joe, she feels seen. And despite her guilt, their relationship enables her to become herself. She confronts everyone around her with her truth and finds courage to be true to herself.
Filled with family tensions, and past hurts, this is an intimate portrait of a marriage, of family and of what it means to be a person of colour post Brexit, where it seems somehow to have become 'acceptable' to spout trite garbage such as the likes of Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins have demonstrated.
Really beautifully written, this book is current, it's brutally honest and would make a brilliant book group choice as there is plenty to discuss.
June 28, 2022
Interesting domestic tale of a modern housewife Monica, who is drowning under the tedium of her family responsibilities and dull marriage. She hasn't been able to fulfill her potential and would love to study for a degree. Instead of taking the action that she needs to improve her life she falls into the arms of Joe, an attractive Dad on the school run who gives her the validation that she has been craving. This leads to her getting back in touch with her family but why did they fall out all those years ago...? The affair becomes a catalyst for Monica to take back control of her life.
This is a good read, perhaps a bit too long as my attention waivered during the middle but this was recouped during the strong ending.
This book is best when examining the parochial attitudes towards race and difference in small-town Essex. The racism experienced by Monica and her family is shocking but sadly credible. I particularly like how the central character is on a journey where she learns how to accept and stand up for herself.
Micro-aggressions are particularly well written and I think it measures the pulse of small-minded England really well. All in all a solid first novel :)
This is a good read, perhaps a bit too long as my attention waivered during the middle but this was recouped during the strong ending.
This book is best when examining the parochial attitudes towards race and difference in small-town Essex. The racism experienced by Monica and her family is shocking but sadly credible. I particularly like how the central character is on a journey where she learns how to accept and stand up for herself.
Micro-aggressions are particularly well written and I think it measures the pulse of small-minded England really well. All in all a solid first novel :)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 4, 2021
A superb narrative exploring incredibly nuanced and complex relationship issues such as family dynamics, generation differences, spouses and in-laws, fidelity, motherhood and mixed race relationships.
I loved reading Monica's thoughts, fears and passions, she is far from perfect but I just felt her deeply and all her conflicts. An addictive, delicious read
I loved reading Monica's thoughts, fears and passions, she is far from perfect but I just felt her deeply and all her conflicts. An addictive, delicious read
July 1, 2021
A sensitive exploration of how casual racism can blight lives, this story introduces us to Monica, a mixed race woman married to a white man whose family have always made it clear they regard her as the cuckoo in the nest. But she's put up with covert (and open) insults for too long and now it is time for her to explore her own identity. But to do that, she must make peace with her own mother, an immigrant from Trinidad married to a white man, whose own efforts to fit in to the British way of life and stay under the radar exposed Monica to racism right from the start.
Can Monica transcend the prejudice she faces on a day-to-day basis, protect her own children from the mistakes of the past, and forgive husband Dan for too often putting his family's feelings before hers?
She also has to forgive herself her own past mistakes - even though she is in danger of repeating them. Monica may be wronged but she is no saint, thank goodness.
I thought this was a powerful and very moving story that helped me understand more clearly than any newspaper report just what people of colour have to put up with in a country that is not fully colour-blind. Apart from the theme of racism, it's also a gripping narrative of fractured family relationships, a marriage under stress and a woman who has subsumed her own identity in other's needs - a familiar tale whether the woman is black, white or any other colour. Why should any of us have to compromise our happiness? I may never, thank God, have experienced the constant judgment Monica was subjected to, but I was rooting for her all the way!
Can Monica transcend the prejudice she faces on a day-to-day basis, protect her own children from the mistakes of the past, and forgive husband Dan for too often putting his family's feelings before hers?
She also has to forgive herself her own past mistakes - even though she is in danger of repeating them. Monica may be wronged but she is no saint, thank goodness.
I thought this was a powerful and very moving story that helped me understand more clearly than any newspaper report just what people of colour have to put up with in a country that is not fully colour-blind. Apart from the theme of racism, it's also a gripping narrative of fractured family relationships, a marriage under stress and a woman who has subsumed her own identity in other's needs - a familiar tale whether the woman is black, white or any other colour. Why should any of us have to compromise our happiness? I may never, thank God, have experienced the constant judgment Monica was subjected to, but I was rooting for her all the way!
September 8, 2021
I love how nuanced this glimpse into Monica's life was, it makes it so much less than a book about an affair and turns it into something much more expansive and important. I think one of these themes is identity. With a Brexit backdrop Monica is of duel heritage and is estranged from her parents. Dan, who I thought to be a very weak man but sadly believable character never protects or defends her against his racist family and as this is is written so intelligently the emotions pour out of the pages and you are reminded how important it is to be antiracist and shut it down wherever you see it. Monica seems to struggle with her heritage but never stops being proud of it which I love.
It's also about family and especially motherhood. Monica is an excellent mother and I felt at times she considered herself troubled by the issue of demanding respect for herself and putting up with the undesirables for the sake of being a mum, but feels depleted from the happiness she deserves. It makes you less judgemental towards her affair as it feels she is suffocating and Joe is a breath of fresh air.
I loved watching the characters develop over the story and even Penny, the racist in law is such a well crafted character and unfortunately we all know someone like her in our lives. This review doesn't do the book justice as it is so powerful, poignant and real, you can't stop reading.
It's also about family and especially motherhood. Monica is an excellent mother and I felt at times she considered herself troubled by the issue of demanding respect for herself and putting up with the undesirables for the sake of being a mum, but feels depleted from the happiness she deserves. It makes you less judgemental towards her affair as it feels she is suffocating and Joe is a breath of fresh air.
I loved watching the characters develop over the story and even Penny, the racist in law is such a well crafted character and unfortunately we all know someone like her in our lives. This review doesn't do the book justice as it is so powerful, poignant and real, you can't stop reading.
February 11, 2022
This book was recommended to me by a very dear friend, and I'm so glad it was. Monica is a mixed race woman, everyday wife to Dan and mother to 3 adorable kids, Fran, Joel and Toby. Dan is white and the kids share their dual heritage. Estranged from her own parents, Monica has just Dan's family around her. But oh my God, what a bunch of bigots! Their prejudice towards Monica is thinly veiled at best and downright in your face at its worst. Some of their comments actually made me gasp! And to make things worse, Dan, the loving husband, never ever puts himself out there to stop them. That for me, made his quite loathsome and I was cheering for Mon when she struck up a relationship with Joe and whilst that relationship was also flawed, she began to see what life could really offer her and remembered who she really is. There were characters in this book who I could cheerfully have punched in the face, and others, like Gracie who I wished we'd seen a lot more of. I loved Mon, and would happily spend quite a lot of time in the pub with her. Reading as a white woman, this book also challenged my own unconscious biases and gave me a greater understanding of prejudice in today's society.
February 25, 2022
The characters in this book are so well written. The understanding by the author of mundane life taking over and the role of mother and wife all consuming, resulting in the loss of one's self is beautifully portrayed. The main character Monica, has allowed herself to suppress her own thoughts and desires, settling for an easier life, by turning a blind eye, turning the other cheek, until she finally realises she can be the strong, independent woman she has been suffocating.
Families, tearing apart a faultless marriage, on the surface. Is this the real reason Monica falls into an affair? In reality is she just trying to find herself?
An enjoyable book, with relatable characters and events. I was routing for Monica all through the book, even through her mistakes, all part of the process to find herself again.
Does the heartache achieve its aim? Or is it just a fact that we all make errors of judgement and follow our hearts to find some small area of peace with who we are, were and become.
Families, tearing apart a faultless marriage, on the surface. Is this the real reason Monica falls into an affair? In reality is she just trying to find herself?
An enjoyable book, with relatable characters and events. I was routing for Monica all through the book, even through her mistakes, all part of the process to find herself again.
Does the heartache achieve its aim? Or is it just a fact that we all make errors of judgement and follow our hearts to find some small area of peace with who we are, were and become.
November 28, 2021
3.5 Rounded Up
Lives Like Mine by Eva Verde was not at all what I was expecting when I first picked it up. An authentic and intimate book that explores issues of race, privilege, family trauma, identity and infidelity.
Honestly, for the first half I didn't like the characters and thought that because of this I'd not like the book, but the author did such a beautiful job exploring and examining the life of Monica that I couldn't help but get drawn into it all. An interesting story about the impact of identity, motherhood and family roles that define us, and the struggle to overcome and break free of the invisible bonds that can become suffocating and build resentment.
An great debut novel and one worth the read ⭐⭐⭐🌠
Lives Like Mine by Eva Verde was not at all what I was expecting when I first picked it up. An authentic and intimate book that explores issues of race, privilege, family trauma, identity and infidelity.
Honestly, for the first half I didn't like the characters and thought that because of this I'd not like the book, but the author did such a beautiful job exploring and examining the life of Monica that I couldn't help but get drawn into it all. An interesting story about the impact of identity, motherhood and family roles that define us, and the struggle to overcome and break free of the invisible bonds that can become suffocating and build resentment.
An great debut novel and one worth the read ⭐⭐⭐🌠
June 26, 2021
Loved this book a modern day tribute to all those women that have stood up for themselves. Monica is a true heroine who triumphed above the racist, bigoted family she had married into. At times I wanted to slap the lot of them for their ignorance and small minded view of the world and for how Monica bent in order to fit in. I am so glad she realised her worth because I was rooting for her to grow a backbone. A great debut novel!
June 26, 2021
A realistic portrayal of the protagonist, Monica juggles with her role of mother, wife, daughter, woman. The constant struggle of being accepted by her in-law family, in herself, raising her kids, navigating her (and her children's) race identities, marriage and the estranged relationship with her parents.
After reading this book, it makes me don't wanna get married or have kids. lol
I'm glad that she had counselling sessions and learnt more about herself in the end.
After reading this book, it makes me don't wanna get married or have kids. lol
I'm glad that she had counselling sessions and learnt more about herself in the end.
August 12, 2021
In Lives Like Mine, Eva Verde dissects the complexities of race, class and identity in Brexit Britain with razor precision. Her characters are vividly drawn—knotty and painfully human—and none more so than heroine Monica, who climbs right off the page and into your heart. Verde's writing is magnificent: her skewering of prejudice unsparing, her portrayal of familial relationships deeply moving. A vital read.
April 16, 2021
Lives Like Mine was a wonderful read, I couldn't put it down.
The story touched on many complex issues and did it so well. Life is messy, people are messy and this book brought it all out and showcased how we are all flawed in different ways. I loved it for it's brutal honesty and seeing things through someone else's eyes. I wanted to be friends with Monica - she's so real.
The story touched on many complex issues and did it so well. Life is messy, people are messy and this book brought it all out and showcased how we are all flawed in different ways. I loved it for it's brutal honesty and seeing things through someone else's eyes. I wanted to be friends with Monica - she's so real.
May 22, 2021
i really really enjoyed this!! it was so well written and funny, a brilliant debut. Monica was the perfect example of a flawed heroine, she made bad decisions but (mostly) had good intentions and i found myself rooting for her. glad she finally stood up for herself in the end!
July 6, 2021
I loved this book. Eva writes beautifully about Monica's frustration as a mother and wife and also about the hideous intolerance and vile racism she experiences from her in laws. It's wonderful a wonderful and vital read.
July 10, 2021
I absolutely adored this book. Monica is so likeable and relatable, along with (most of!) the other characters. So well written, a brilliant story. I struggled to put this down. If you're looking for a good "page turner", look no further. All i want to know is, when is the sequal?!
July 20, 2021
Great debut, found myself looking forward to going back into Monica's life whenever I had a free moment. Can't wait to see what's next from Eva.
July 23, 2021
Amazing - I just loved this book. I couldn't put it down. Monica is such an engaging and loveable character. Beautiful writing and a wonderful plot. Highly recommended!
February 16, 2022
Absolutely compelling, loved it.
February 23, 2025
4.5 ⭐️
“Smart people can only be stupid for so long.”
Eva Verde just has this incredibly well versed voice that brought Monica’s story and rage to life, with what felt like so much honestly - it felt so incredibly raw and real.
An incredibly messy and important glimpse into the life of Monica; a mother, wife and mistake making human being. Not only this, but Monica, (as a mixed race woman), is constantly subjected to aggressions by her very racist in-laws. Unfortunately, too, her husband does nothing to defend her nor does he do anything to address this abhorrent behaviour by his family in favour of peacekeeping.
This novel is incredibly human and has such an authentic feel to it. It made me want to both laugh and cry in parts.
Not only does it touch on subjects like the prevalence of racism, especially after brexit, and how it’s “here to stay.” But also on motherhood, the childhood trauma that follows us, and the joys and hardship of being a wife; and overall a human who is flawed and destine to mistakes.
I feel like this book is one of great importance - definitely one to read as it’s so thought provoking in many ways, especially as someone who’s never been subjected to racism. But also the many ways I as a wife and mother felt so incredibly seen in reading this - it was an impressive read all around.
“Smart people can only be stupid for so long.”
Eva Verde just has this incredibly well versed voice that brought Monica’s story and rage to life, with what felt like so much honestly - it felt so incredibly raw and real.
An incredibly messy and important glimpse into the life of Monica; a mother, wife and mistake making human being. Not only this, but Monica, (as a mixed race woman), is constantly subjected to aggressions by her very racist in-laws. Unfortunately, too, her husband does nothing to defend her nor does he do anything to address this abhorrent behaviour by his family in favour of peacekeeping.
This novel is incredibly human and has such an authentic feel to it. It made me want to both laugh and cry in parts.
Not only does it touch on subjects like the prevalence of racism, especially after brexit, and how it’s “here to stay.” But also on motherhood, the childhood trauma that follows us, and the joys and hardship of being a wife; and overall a human who is flawed and destine to mistakes.
I feel like this book is one of great importance - definitely one to read as it’s so thought provoking in many ways, especially as someone who’s never been subjected to racism. But also the many ways I as a wife and mother felt so incredibly seen in reading this - it was an impressive read all around.
April 25, 2023
‘Lives Like These’ opens at an awkward family wedding.
Monica, who is noticeably mixed race ( White English/Trinidadian) is trying her best to grin and bare her in-laws and their extended family’s subtle and not so subtle racism and race-based sexualisation of her. We quickly learn that their behaviour, and her white husbands acceptance of their behaviour is something she has been contending with for all her marriage. When she witnesses their racism extending to her mixed race looking son, it triggers the need for a change in her.
So starts a playground affair with the parent of another child at her daughters’ school, attempted reconnection with her birth family and pursuing a degree. We see Monica reflect on how her life went so wrong and her (sometimes clumsy) attempts to fix it.
Verde’s novel is very domestic. However, there is larger commentary on the reality of living in a post-Brexit England and the expectation by some sectors of British society that expect women ( especially ethnic minority women) to ‘stay in their place’. I feel fortunate that I have never been in close proximity with the kind of people that Monica surrounded herself with, but I’ve been around in this country long enough to know that they very much exist.
The supporting cast around Monica did at times feel two dimensional, which made them easy to like or dislike without much consideration for their own personal histories. That being said, I do feel like Verde’s main aim was mainly about developing the main character and creating a backdrop for her to flourish in, which succeeded.
I doubt I’ll remember the book in a few months, but I appreciate the quick and satisfying reading experience.
Monica, who is noticeably mixed race ( White English/Trinidadian) is trying her best to grin and bare her in-laws and their extended family’s subtle and not so subtle racism and race-based sexualisation of her. We quickly learn that their behaviour, and her white husbands acceptance of their behaviour is something she has been contending with for all her marriage. When she witnesses their racism extending to her mixed race looking son, it triggers the need for a change in her.
So starts a playground affair with the parent of another child at her daughters’ school, attempted reconnection with her birth family and pursuing a degree. We see Monica reflect on how her life went so wrong and her (sometimes clumsy) attempts to fix it.
Verde’s novel is very domestic. However, there is larger commentary on the reality of living in a post-Brexit England and the expectation by some sectors of British society that expect women ( especially ethnic minority women) to ‘stay in their place’. I feel fortunate that I have never been in close proximity with the kind of people that Monica surrounded herself with, but I’ve been around in this country long enough to know that they very much exist.
The supporting cast around Monica did at times feel two dimensional, which made them easy to like or dislike without much consideration for their own personal histories. That being said, I do feel like Verde’s main aim was mainly about developing the main character and creating a backdrop for her to flourish in, which succeeded.
I doubt I’ll remember the book in a few months, but I appreciate the quick and satisfying reading experience.
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