Welcome to Motherhood, Bitches

by Victoria Emes

“The real guide to pregnancy, birth and beyond”

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

309 pages, Hardcover

Published February 17, 2022

Reviews

[Claudia · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF.

I don't know, it's just something about the way it was written.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like getting advice from your older, wiser and extremely raunchy older sister. Written in a friendly and accessible way, this book prepares you for almost anything you could expect if you are expecting.

[Kelly Hine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having followed Emes on Insta for a good while, I was familiar with her humour and topics of discussion…. When I heard she was as writing a book I immediately pre-ordered it. Ecstatic to find it on my doormat upon my return from holiday, I couldn’t wait to get started. The book is hilarious, well written and really really spot on for new mums, old mums, haggard mums, chilled out relaxed mums! Definitely something for potential parents to read, a cracking debut

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it’s a no-nonsense read, Emes smatters funny and honest anecdotes to create an alternative to the glossy mainstream view of motherhood.

Perhaps it is because I’m expecting my own as a first-time-mum, I found some of Emes’ descriptions laboured the negatives and left me feeling more angry and anxious for the future than excited.

I truly appreciated Emes’ approach to provide balanced and empowering information on some of the more polarising aspects of parenting (e.g. c-sections and formula feeding). It was refreshing not to be guilt-ridden or beaten over the head with particular views.

The good: Great collection of fresh and funny anecdotes on real aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and newborn care.

The bad: While it was probably not intentioned to be a guide, the book tries to be a bit of everything and can be confusing to navigate if you wanted to go back and refresh on one thing. I would recommend another resource as a reference guide, and use this to “colour” your journey.

The ugly: Some of the wordplay was over the top, I ended up glossing over paragraphs to get to the meat of the chapter.

[Holly Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, accessible, easy to read. There isn’t as much science backed evidence as there are funny anecdotes from the author’s own pregnancy and births, but the book still provides lots of information and Emes isn’t afraid to discuss some of the less talked about / uglier side of becoming a mother - perhaps sometimes to the book’s detriments, as it felt at times there were certain chapters that were less reassuring and more written to shock or provoke a reaction in the reader.

Would definitely recommend to any friends currently expecting a baby, maybe alongside some other books that more explicitly offer information on evidence and informed decision making in pregnancy and beyond.

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely love the author and I am an avid listener of the podcast she co-hosts, No Holes Barred. Not to mention stalker of her Instagram.

This is a great book to gift a pregnant person, or a new mum. It is so funny and I can honestly say it further validated my non existent desire to birth children of my own. Childbirth and parenthood is bloody grim, folks. Not to mention, the description of her ongoing problems with haemorrhoids after birth almost put me off sex for life. In the words of her co-host Laura 'poor bitch'. Either way this was a hilarious read overall.

[Kimberly · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 3.5 stars rounded down.

This book was funny and brutally honest! I definitely enjoyed it. That said, I’m hoping for more science and less antedates when reading books like this. I can absolutely see how some would appreciate the approach this author took, but it just wasn’t necessarily for me.

[Charlotte De Klerck · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. This was bought as a gift and my goodness, what a gift it was.

Brutally honest and painfully hilarious throughout. Never before have I laughed out loud at a book like that.

I cannot recommend enough.

[Melanie Schon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Round up to 3.75. This book has a lot of helpful advice and provides a lot of insight on what to expect during pregnancy and labour but it felt like every sentence had to end with a crude punchline. It felt like she was “on” all the time and it got a little old by the end.

[Özgün · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book out of curiosity and loved how honest and open it is about pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. All the while being funny!
Indeed, nobody talks about these stuff...

[Laura Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very honest account of pregnancy and childbirth

[Liisa]

DNF

[B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very amusing outtake on pregnancy and parenthood and after having my child I can relate to so much within this book. Light-hearted read compared to other pregnancy and motherhood books out there.

[Katie Hayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Irreverent and hilarious, very down to earth. I really enjoyed this take on motherhood.

[Catherine Oughtibridge]

Recommended to me by my sister

[Aimée Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gifted by a friend this Christmas. A very funny take on motherhood, would have been 5 stars if it wasn't negative the whole way through, but did have me laughing out loud a lot!

[Chloe McDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest, insightful and funny. Some really useful things to take away and share with my partner.

[Grace Fengari · Rating 2 out of 5]

The crude language and flat jokes made this so incredibly difficult to finish. Two stars because the actual advice given was helpful.

[Sabine Ten D · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was brilliant. It prepared you for what to expect during pregnancy, labor and newborn phase in a hilarious and honest way. Most books romanticize these phases and gloss over the gory and nasty bits but this book made me feel so much more prepared. I laughed so hard at the unfiltered and descriptive ways the author tells everything. Absolutely recommend this book for (soon-to-be) new moms. 🎧