A sense of belonging - being liked, understood, accepted for who we are - is vital for our mental health. Whether it is fitting in at school, struggling to connect with colleagues in a new job, or just feeling out of place in our own family, we all, at various stages in our lives, find ourselves questioning our identity.
For Dr Holan Liang, one of the UK's foremost psychiatrists, this crisis of identity cuts right to the heart of the modern epidemic of anxiety and depression.
In this ground-breaking book, she draws on her own experience as an immigrant to the UK, and on 20 years of caring for patients suffering from a range of mental health conditions, from depression and anxiety to ADHD and anorexia, to explore a radical new perspective on mental health.
Warm, wise and full of humanity, A Sense of Belonging will help you understand the causes of loneliness, reprioritise the people and things that matter, stop people-pleasing, and learn how to accept yourself in order to find genuine connection.
Every now and then you stumble across a book and think... urgh... if this book hadn't been written, then I would have LOVE to have written this book!
Dr Liang so eloquently, succinctly and accessibly covers everything that you could hope to know about the concept of belonging, especially with how it relates to mental health.
Not for me, and definitely not what I was expecting. The autobiography of a psychiatrist interspersed with clinical cases. She uses cases to challenge issues such as stigma around mental health, but I don't see the relevance of some of the stories. Personally, I just couldn't feel any sympathy for the struggles and hardships she suffered, considering that others have gone through considerable more hardships than her. I also find some of her arguments hypocritical, like when she criticises parenting stereotypes that she herself perpetuates. When talking about racism, she thanks the reader for choosing her book despite her (foreign) name, and she claims that she wouldn't have picked the book if it was written by someone called Fatima (?). I found that statement absurd and now, after reading her book, I definitely know I would never pick a book with her name on it.
This was a really well written book. Stories of the often voiceless were recalled with compassion, sprinkled with a little humour, yet were direct and not sugarcoated. Dr Liang interspersed these with her own experiences of what it means to belong (and not). For her, this must have been cathartic to write and, as a reader, I sensed that feeling of empathy and some of my own experiences being relived. Some of the recollections were harrowing, so do read this with your own mental health in mind. I think this book would work really well in a reading group as I felt myself wanting to have conversations with others about their own experiences of belonging. A really good read, thanks Dr Liang.
Don't get me wrong, I liked the book, I think the most valuable part was the stories of the clinic cases. Although I didn't expect such a large part of the book to be practically the author's autobiography, I also read these parts with interest. Unfortunately, it's hard for me to say that the book is about belonging. And it's certainly not a self-help book about belonging, because there are very few passages about how to deal with it. It's simply a recounting of stories of people who, for various reasons, didn't feel like they belonged. As a psychology student, I got a lot out of this book, but it didn't answer my questions about the topic that is the title of the book.
Isn't it amazing how many books are there on belonging? I'm not quite sure Holan Liang answered the subtitle question, but it was definitely worth listening to. Well written and structured, to the point. Slightly biased towards covering author NHS and minority experiences, but the more open and relatable account of one's struggle with fitting in, giving in, etc on ultimate quest to belong. Seems self love & close support group are the answer in this case. Somehow refreshing for someone trained in self-reliance and stoicism. I hope to read 2nd edition in some 20 years 😉
It is inspirational the way she was able to provide us a glimpse of how it is to be in the psychiatric hospital as a doctor as well as the way she was able to thrive despite the racism and biases she had to face as well as her colleagues and how even a mental health professional can also have its own struggles and survive it even if the odds are not in her favor. Brave stories from brave people. Not always the happiest ending sometimes, but again it is a learning process to grief and thrive in life. I read non stop.
This is the type of book I would expect on the bestseller’s list. Easy-to-follow storytelling and scientific explanations. A great balance of case histories and personal experiences. If you’re a fan of Oliver Sacks’ works, I highly recommend giving this one a shot. 💗