Love The Dark Days

by Ira Mathur

From award-winning journalist Ira Mathur, Love The Dark Days is about accrued intergenerational damage between mothers and daughters in post-colonial worlds.
Set in India, England, Trinidad and St Lucia, Love The Dark Days follows the story of the life of Dolly, of mixed Hindu Muslim parentage in post-colonial India. Dolly, whose privileged family has colluded with the brutality of the British Rule in India, lives with her grandmother, who feels a raging loss at the fading old world. With it, her privilege. Dolly absorbs her grandmothers' rage, becoming a living memorial of all the pain and injustice the imperious Burrimummy repeatedly hauls back from her past to tell and retell to Dolly. Just as Dolly is constantly pulled into the old wounds, so is the reader. The story is crafted so the reader viscerally experiences how trauma loops around, coming back and back through generations to warp the future.
That damage of unbelonging is repeated when her family migrates to Trinidad, where, in her darkest hour, she meets Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott, who encourages her when she visits him in St Lucia over a weekend to leave the past behind and reinvent herself. Before she can do this Dolly must re-enter the past one last time.
Can Dolly find the courage to examine each broken shard of her shattered family and reassemble it into a new shape in a new world? It is raw, unflinching, but not without threads of humour and perceived absurdity; Love the Dark Days is an intricate tapestry with Dolly's story at its heart.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, India

232 pages, Paperback

First published July 7, 2022

About the author

Ira Mathur is an Indian-born Trinidadian award winning multimedia journalist with degrees in Literature, Law and Journalism. www.irasroom.org .She is currently the Trinidad Guardian's longest-running columnist , and has freelanced for The Guardian (UK) and the BBC.
IN 2021 Mathur was longlisted for the Bath Novel Award for her unpublished novel ''Touching Dr Simone.''
In 2019 Mathur was longlisted for the Johnson and Amoy Achong Caribbean Writers Prize. An excerpt of her memoir is anthologized in Thicker Than Water, (Peekash Press, 2018).
In 2018 she shortlisted for the Bridport Short Story Prize, the Lorian Hemmingway (short story) and Small Axe Literary Competition.
Mathur gained diplomas in creative writing at the University of East Anglia/Guardian with James Scudamore & Gillian Slovo and Maggie Gee at the Faber Academy. ( 2015/2016)

Reviews

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Winner of the OCM Bocas Prize non-fiction category.

They are like Russian dolls. I understand now. Mummy blames Burrimummy for being unkind. Burrimummy blames Mumma for ill-treating her, and Mumma blames Sadrunissa for thrashing her. They all took out whatever anger they felt over their own lives on their daughters. No one is responsible. It goes back and back. Elided are the wrongs of patriarchs, husbands, and fathers' treatment of their daughters.

This hugely evocative memoir has both the sweep of geography and historical forces, but the intimacy of the tensions of a multi-generational family as well as an examination of post-colonial literature.

Geographically it has three main settings – India, the Caribbean (Trinidad and St Lucia) and England – all captured in their full colour and noise (as well as where appropriate silence and drabness)

Historically it traces in particular the end of the Indian Raj – and end that was both very sudden (almost exactly 75 years ago with the creation of India and Pakistan) and drawn out (probably for me the strongest aspect of the book is how it traces both the gradual dissolution of the conventions of Victorian India and the way in which many of the leaders of the Princely States were cast adrift by the English colonial authorities and the way in which the vestiges of the Raj carried on in what might be called the Indian establishment even as a new elite of tech firm billionaries, Bollywood stars and nationalist politicians).

And in terms of the family we see the intimate relationships of the author, her sister and their mother, grandmother and even great-grandmother and the ways in which the treatment of each generation of girls at the hands of their mothers played out both on their treatment of their mothers later in life and in their own parenting.

And for literature – the memoir is played out against the story of the author’s burgeoning friendship with the Caribbean Nobel Laureate and poet Derek Walcott (as well as her decided ambivalence to another such Laureate – the Indian descended Trinidadian-born VS Naipaul) and in particular a lengthy account of her visit to his home in St Lucia where he critiques and guides her writing about her past and her lives both in India (where she was born) and Trinidad (where her family emigrated).

Overall I found this a fascinating book.

My thanks to the author and her publisher for a review copy.

[Paul Fulcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Winner of the OCM Bocas Prize for Caribbean Literature Non-Fiction Category

They are like Russian dolls. I understand now. Mummy blames Burrimummy for being unkind. Burrimummy blames Mumma for ill-treating her, and Mumma blames Sadrunissa for thrashing her. They all took out whatever anger they felt over their own lives on their daughters. No one is responsible. It goes back and back. Elided are the wrongs of patriarchs, husbands, and fathers' treatment of their daughters. I quietly take some of Mummy's lipsticks and go to my room, staring at myself in the mirror, wondering why I was so dark. I put on and rub off the lipstick that looked so beautiful on Mummy's lips; I rub some on my cheeks.

Ira Mathur's Love the Dark Days is a memoir, but with with the lyricism of a novel, based on the author's own family history, particularly the matriarchal line, privileged but dysfunctional.

The narrator, and authorial stand-in, is 'Poppet', descended from rulers of the princely states of the British Raj, her parents from a mixed Muslim-Hindu marriage, and the book, and her family story, takes us from post-independence India to Trinidad and Tobago, via the UK and university in Canada. The author's piece here gives a flavour of this fascinating history.

A second, innovative, strand of the novel is based on a weekend spent with Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott, who has a manuscript of Poppet's memoirs and discusses with her his perspective of her life, and encourages her to look forward rather than back and root her story in the literature of the region.

The author, a successful journalist, acknowledges the literary influence and support of, inter alia, the novelists Monique Roffey and Amanda Smyth, and this story is at the crest the wave of impressive literature from female Trinidadian authors highlighted by Monique Roffey in the Guardian and Ira Mathur herself in the Irish Times.

And the book is published by Peepal Tree Press, who have been at the forefront of bringing these voices to a British audience:

Peepal Tree aims to bring you the very best of international writing from the Caribbean, its diasporas and the UK. Our goal is always to publish books that make a difference, and though we always want to achieve the best possible sales, we're most concerned with whether a book will still be alive in the future.

A rich and rewarding read.

[BookOfCinz · Rating 2 out of 5]

So much chaos in this book, I don’t know where to start….

When I picked up this book, I thought it was supposed to be a memoir about Ira Mathur’s life. I was so intrigued to find out more about how she left India with her parents and ended up in Tobago and all the various things that would have gone in place to make that happen. There aren’t a lot of literature (I find) written from an Indian person whose families weren’t indentured laborer but decided to leave Indian to start a new life in Tobago.

Let me tell you what I enjoyed about this book – reading about Ira’ family, specifically her Grandmother, mother and sister. Yes, she gave us a raw look at the family drama, the fights and unpleasant things that took placed behind closed doors. I loved reading about their life in India and how they ended up in Tobago. I felt that part of the book was truly interesting. Yes, I felt there were so many unanswered question family wise- why didn’t she get along with her sister? What’s up with her parents currently? How did they afford to send her to colleges? Her brother’s family. Then again, there is only so much you can fit in a memoir.

Here is what I didn’t like… how the book felt like a 200 page name drop of “I spent a weekend with Derek Walcott and he looked at my manuscript” honestly….that part was confounding. Why did it feel like 20% of the book was a biography of Derek Walcott’s life and his beef with VS Naipaul? Also I didn’t need the BTS of your manuscript critique- I wish the story focused more on Ira and her family and her journey.

Also her relationship with her husband it was… for lack of a better word… WEIRD. I felt there was an under current of being abusive but the author did not come right out and say it. I felt his family seem like they would throw her out any time she steps out of line. Also, I wanted her to talk more about her career because she fact that her husband was well off but she was told she needed to work… man….

I finished this book having more questions than answers. As far as memoirs go, I really wish it was tighter and edited better.

WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH INCLUSION OF DEREK WALCOTT?!!!!!

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a terrible inheritance, all these unhappy women passing along sadness with their jewelry.
from Love the Dark Days by Ira Mathur

Love the Dark Days tells the story of Ira Mathur’s family, how each generation passed along its trauma to the next.

On her mother’s side of the family, her ancestors were important and wealthy Muslims, part of the British Colonial Empire. Her great-great-great grandfather Afsar “forced all his daughters to marry men they hated because they were powerful landowners.” Her great-great-grandmother was unhappy all her life with her husband, in spite of their wealth.

Her great-grandmother was removed from school in England and forced into marriage at age sixteen. She became the Begum of Bhopal, ruling while in purdah. Her grandmother Burriummy married a man she loved but who made her miserable with his philandering. She left him. And her mother Nur married outside of her faith, the decision cutting her off from her inheritance.

Her mother’s side of the family were Muslim, tall, beautiful, and pale. Her father was Hindu, a military man. They attended glamorous cocktail parties and had an active social life. The narrator of the memoir was known as Poppet by her family. She was darker, and being half-Hindu set her apart from her Muslim family.

The oldest child. a boy was a hellion and sent off to boarding school. The youngest was a girl who immediately after birth was claimed by her maternal grandmother, who raised her for years. Sometimes Poppet would visit them. She knew who held her grandmother’s heart.

Unable to serve in the military under Indira Ghandi, whose policies he could not support, Poppet’s father left the military for a job in Trinidad. In the Caribbean, Poppet was doubly an outsider.

Poppet’s father gives her a London education, but instead of marrying, she determines to continue to live in London and find a career. She always feels out of sync, with her people in India or Trinidad or London. She forged a career in journalism, a workaholic, with a shaky marriage to a man whose family had been indentured servants with deep roots in Trinidad. They have two children. When her grandmother’s health fails, she takes her under her care. Her husband is close to Burrimummy.

Poppet’s struggle to find a place in her world, to live up to her mother’s advice to be self-supporting and not to trust a man, and her search for connection sets the tone for the memoir.

So what does it mean to be Indian?
from Love the Dark Days by Ira Mathur

Colonialism is a major theme, deeply impacting the family for generations. Her grandmother wrote that the family’s lives were deeply intertwined with British rule from 1838 to 1947. She was a classical pianist. Poppet’s mother wore Western makeup, smoked, and had an apartment in London.

While the bulk of the memoir deals with the weight of the past, there is a second timeline set in 2016 and later. The author was invited to visit the Nobel Laureate poet Derek Walcott at his home in St. Lucia. Walcott pushes Poppet to consider the impact of Colonization in her family, to let go of the past.

We inherit not just the physical DNA from our ancestors but the emotional DNA.
from Love the Dark Days by Ira Mathur

I found this memoir to be so very interesting, expanding my understanding of India’s history and legacy of Colonialism. The stories of Poppet’s family are dramatic. At the center is her struggle to come to terms with her family and her own experience, her personal growth. The narrative wraps around from present time to the past.

I received a free ebook in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

[LannaInTheLibrary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the Dark Days chronicles the history of Ira Mathur and her family from the Mughal empire, to her childhood in post-colonial India and the family's eventual move to Tobago and the life they eventually built here. Through it, Mathur lays bare the fraught dynamics of her mixed Hindu and Muslim family, and the sense of displacement that follows her from India to the Caribbean and the UK.

The family history in this book was beautifully written, even more so for the unflinching way Mathur examines the trauma and generations of complicated mother-daughter relationships that continue to haunt her lineage. Burrimummy's increasingly futile attempts to grasp at the power and privilege that her wealthy family enjoyed during the colonial era and the power struggle between her and Ira's parents were especially well written.

Unfortunately I think her family's history got bogged down by the extended narration of her various interactions with Derek Walcott and the influence that had on her writing. While I'm sure it was an important part of her process, at times it just felt like an homage to Walcott's career and consequently, out of place. In a less generous light, it could be seen as a reminder of his endorsement of her writing.

I feel like her personal journey in deciding to write the novel and how it affected the way she viewed her past and the relationships she has with her parents, her sister, her own children and her memory of Burrimummy weren't much talked about. The parts about her marriage raised more questions than answers for me, particularly his treatment of her that was hinted at but never really fleshed out. The last few chapters also seemed to lack the finesse of the rest of the book and I felt that there were too many unanswered questions.

Nevertheless, Mathur is a very talented writer and she can turn a beautiful phrasw. It was interesting to read about her experience as an Indian woman living in Trinidad and marrying into an Indo-Caribbean family, living in a country with a large percentage of its population descended from indentured persons brought over from India. Her reflections on her life here and the conflict it stirs in her was one of the highlights of the book.

I wish that there was more emphasis on her and her family and less on Walcott, but if you enjoy reading about Indian culture and history, its certainly got those in spades.

Thanks to Peepaltree Press and Netgalley for the advanced reader copy.

[Amanda Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this memoir thoroughly absorbing and fascinating, as well as astonishing and courageous in its revelations.

The dramatic conflicts are so intense, you could be forgiven for forgetting you're not actually reading fiction!

Through the little girl who questions whether she is worthy of love, and who experiences love as something fickle and unreliable, to the woman who eventually learns how much she needs to begin again by loving herself, we journey through the lives of generations of women in Poppet's family; we come to understand the impact of repeated abandonment, betrayals and coercion in a misogynistic culture.

This is a story of multi-generational relationship trauma in settings that vary from Poppet's desperate circumstances as a young journalist in London, to the extraordinary privilege of her elite relatives in pre and post-colonial India. In her family history are relatives who met Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth or Indira Gandhi; and others who fought in the Indian army, or worked as mercenaries for the British in what some call India's First War of Independence in 1857. Descended from the upper and middle classes of India, Poppet marries a now wealthy descendant of indentured labourers in Trinidad. This is a memoir rich with history, and packed with contemporary observations of modern society.

Wound through the main story is a weekend spent with Derek Walcott, who is evaluating and discussing her memoir-in-progress. We get to see Derek up close.

'Love the Dark Days' reads like a loving tribute to both Walcott and the author's grandmother 'Burimummy,' as well as a historical record of her maternal family's unusual lives as the Nawabs of India's once princely states.

This is a memoir of particular interest to readers with a keen interest in India, Trinidad, the post-colonial era, relationship trauma, Derek Walcott and the challenges of mixed caste/class/religion marriages or romantic partnerships.

Beyond my interest in all of the above, Love The Dark Days was relatable in unexpected ways. I too married into an Indo-Trinidadian family, and much of Poppet's 'after marriage' family and community stories took me back down memory lane!

On another note, I have always felt pity and incomprehension when people present their wealth the way Poppet's mother-in-law Yasmin did, or consider 'please', 'thank you' and 'excuse me' uncomfortable foreign add-ons. But Poppet's account helped me to understand a little.

I felt I was reading a book that wouldn't make me cry. Until it did. I won't say which parts.

'Love The Dark Days,' certainly makes my Gift List because I can think of friends who'd find it as fascinating and interesting as I did! It's also a book I can imagine enjoying reading again.

It left me with renewed intentions of reading Derek Walcott and Naipaul. I'm looking forward to Ira Mathur's future work.

[Dr. des. Siobhán · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks for the free book!*

"Love The Dark Days" is hard to describe: the story follows Poppet and traces her life, her struggles, but also her family history. Writing about it is about connecting to one's past, one's history, one's family, one's heritage. Poppet is of mixed Hindu-Muslim heritage, the reader learns a lot about post-independence India, but parts of the novel take place in Trinidad and London. It is also a story of colonialism, racism, the Empire. It is a multifaceted, complex story that takes a long time to immerse oneself into, but one is rewarded by the fascinating glimpses into history, into lives and identities, different places. Well written and touching, the photographs at the very end made the entire novel even more personal. No real criticism, but I was a bit confused sometimes, but that's totally on me.

4.5 stars

[Naveed Siddiqui · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful discovery and what a wonderful author!!!

superbly written this Caribbean author from Trinidad and Tobago takes you on an intimate journey

Love The Dark Days is about strength love and family and heartache and the hopes of a new dawn and new world and everything in between

She tantalises you with tales across nations and generations I won’t say more but I ran through the book and my imagination ran away and stole my heart

Looking forward to her next book already!

[Ira Mathur]

As I am the author I can’t write a review but here are reviews from respected writers and publishers:

A transcendent memoir about extremes of love and hate, princely wealth, and the rebellious, righteous poor. I loved it.''
Maggie Gee

"A blaze of a book, astonishing, colonial, post-colonial, modern and post-modern - a Caribbean feminist #metoo memoir that examines inherited patriarchal damage of women and societal norms brought from the Old World to the New. This exquisitely written book examines familial love and fateful blood ties while scrutinising, with compassion, a flawed patriarch and Magnus too, Derek Walcott. Mathur deftly yokes together parallel worlds, colonial India and post-colonial Trinidad. Both worlds are dark, and both worlds hurt women. A memoir like this has never torn itself out of the Caribbean."
Monique Roffey, winner of Costa Book of the Year 2020

“Ira Mathur takes the reader deep into the darkest spaces of her family history. Relentlessly honest, she tells a story of dispossession, patriarchy, passion and the wounds of a divided inheritance. Moving from pre-Independence India to Trinidad and London, we see the growing pains of the author as she decodes her relationships with her glamorous parents, her beautiful piano-playing authoritative grandmother and her siblings. In a world between poverty and privilege, she is guided by Derek Walcott, and Naipaul is ever-present. Ultimately, she must find her own voice, truth, and reconciliation. A window into a world rich in history that few know about. A compelling read.
-Shrabani Basu, author of Victoria & Abdul

“This brave and inspiring feminist critique of patriarchy and gender oppression set in Trinidad-- framed by the delusional greed and grandeur of colonial India and a weekend in St. Lucia spent with Nobel laureate Derek Walcott — has terrific promise as a biting movie adaptation for the #MeToo era”
Etan Vlessing, Hollywood Reporter

''A compelling memoir of the binding power of love and the liberating beauty of forgiveness.''
-Earl Lovelace, Novelist, Winner of OCM Bocas Prize for Caribbean Literature, (2012 Commonwealth Writers Prize (1997)

"Mathur brings alive startling episodes from her technicolour life, proving truth is not just stranger but often more compelling than fiction. There is a sense of her burning through her days, reckless, raw, and passionate. For all that, she offers the embers of her life with a rarely found wisdom. An exquisite, compassionate, and necessary book.""
-Amanda Smyth, longlisted for the Walter Scott Prize, 2022

[Chandra Sundeep · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the Dark Days, by Ira Mathur, the great granddaughter of the Begum of Savanur, is an evocative memoir of her dysfunctional yet privileged family. Spanning across various decades and set in different locations, this candid memoir sheds light on the Empire, migration and life in pre- and post-independence India, Trinidad, St Lucia, Canada and England. Inter-generational trauma, elitism, cultures, religion, domestic abuse and violence are woven intricately into the narration.

In this layered and transcendental memoir, we come across Mathur’s observations of her family members, her interactions with them, her own life experiences, and the stories of her ancestors. Indian-born Trinidadian Mathur digs deep into the past, hoping to trace her family history and find her story.

Born to a middle-class Hindu father, and an aristocratic Muslim mother who is part of the royal family of Savanur, Mathur’s growing years are turbulent. Growing up in India, living with Burrimumy, her maternal grandmother in their ancestral house in Bangalore, she has a strange love-hate relationship with her. Angel, her younger sister, is her grandmother’s beloved, while Poppet, the author, craves attention.

Burrimummy, a devout Muslim despises Hindus and Christians. Unfortunately for her, her daughter falls in love with a Hindu man and marries him. The already strained mother-daughter cracks further, and the duo grows further apart.

The narration starts with Burrimummy’s death and ends with Nobel Laureate, Derek Walcot’s demise. Mathur spends a weekend at Sir Derek Walcott’s home in St. Lucia, where he reviews her manuscript and shares his feedback. I felt these chapters broke the flow, and I was dying to get back to her family. The repeated references to Naipaul don’t add much value to the narration.


Love the Dark Days is not just an evocative and surreal memoir of a dysfunctional family, it is also the coming-of-age story of Ira Mathur.

A few memorable quotes –

“If you stay in the past, you are as stagnant as pond water.”

“…the love that reassembles its fragments makes it stronger than when it was whole.”

Thanks to Peepal Tree Press Ltd via NetGalley for the opportunity to read an ARC of this novel. All opinions expressed are my own.

Wordsopedia Rating 4/5

[Bethan Evans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mmkay. It’s not a good sign that it’s taken me so long to read a 230 page book so maybe this is the first sign… I thought the parts about the author’s childhood were very interesting and beautifully written, but this was then mixed in with the weird obsession with Derek Walcott and her trip to St Lucia? It interrupted the flow of the book and didn’t really add anything tbh. Also petition to arrest anyone who still calls their parents ‘mummy and daddy’!

[Marcella Marx · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book with poignant descriptions that take one’s mind into a profound journey of discovery. Encompassing different generations and the struggles of what it means to belong and not belong to a family, a country, a culture. Powerfully written!

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Review

This was such a well-written and captivating memoir and biography. The balance the author found in the generational stories of her family, including her grandmother and mother, with her own experiences was so impactful and thought-provoking. The rich imagery the author conjured up through her writing really brought readers into the lives of these very different yet connected women through the generations of this family.

The heart of the author’s story was true in the intricate details of her life experiences and the multi-cultural journey she undertook in her life, as well as the deep look into how Colonialism impacted both her family and the generations that came before. The history of Colonialism is so rarely discussed in detail within nations such as The United States outside of an advanced history course, and so learning of the experiences that came with Colonialism and getting to see it through both her mother’s family’s side and her father’s point of view was fascinating. Yet it was the intimate, heartfelt moments that the author shared of her own life and experiences that really made the deepest impact, even in the opening pages as she confronts a loss of proportionate significance.

The Verdict

Heartfelt, captivating, and engaging, author Ira Mathur’s “Love The Dark Days” is a must-read memoir and nonfiction book. The rich cultural dynamics both within her family and her own life were so passionately written about and felt in the journey the reader was led on, and the emotional and mental struggles the author and her multi-generational family underwent, including this cycle of trauma, were both tragic in its delivery and yet hopeful in the author’s achievements and experiences in the modern day.

[Gilberte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set in India and the Caribbean, this memoir explores the legacy of colonialism that affects so many Western diasporic families.

The inquisitive, but the naive main character, Poppet seeks to reconcile herself to her family’s controlling patriarchal ways (and by extension, toxic matriarchal ways as seen through Burimummy, the elitist and pompous grandmother, to whom Poppet is (somewhat dysfunctionally) attached.

To use modern terms, Poppet is trauma bonded and insecurely attached to the people in her life – family included, who attempt to manipulate, berate and discombobulate her. She nonetheless tries to stay close to the ties of her bloodline, even while tugging strenuously against them.

Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott threads his way through the book, as a brilliant but flawed foil who helps Poppet find some light and grounding on her journey. She seeks out the literary guru at his St Lucia home and gets a few answers to the questions of self, and how they relate to her life and her family's past. Despite being heavily critical of her family's collusion with the British, Walcott challenges Poppet with tough, terse but useful questions about finding purpose in her writing.

The well-publicized accusations of sexual harassment against Walcott are mentioned in the book, and Poppet (also a journalist) handles the issue cautiously, while noting that the Walcott she knew sometimes gave the impression of a cad, needing the constant nod of women, including herself, "Do you love me?" he asks whenever she leaves St Lucia to go home to Trinidad.
-"Yes," Poppet promises every time.

Poppet's mission is one of discovery, self-examination, and healing. She strives to live a meaningful life, despite many uprootings. There are so many rich layers to this story, I sometimes had to put it down and just have a heartfelt cry or a nervous laugh, as when I read about her first meeting with Walcott, where she stumbled over cannonball tree roots. One message is clear. Women who challenge old world toxicity face a hard path, with a tangle of roots beneath, ready to trip up anyone not looking where they're going.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this autobiography was very evocative and atmospheric of the places in which the author lived and her sad childhood, and there was some lovely writing, I found this just too difficult to get into, unfortunately. I didn't like the use of the present tense, and the author jumped around in time, and between places too much. For example, one minute she'd be the lonely child Poppet and the next she would be interviewing Sir Derek Walcott. Reading it seemed to require a lot of time, and effort. Reading it in paperback would probably be easier than reading it on Kindle, I think.

I received this free ebook from NetGalley in return for an honest review.

[Priyanka Mathur · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant raw, emotional read by award -winning journalist Ira Mathur.
I really enjoyed exploring the theme of mothers and daughters. Mathur explores the casual brutality of the generation before her. Her mother's generation strode through life without thinking about damage, and although that permitted them to consider a slap on the face was just par for the course, there was a glory, style and panache in the way they strode the earth. She unpicks the pros and cons of conscious and unconscious parenting and compares her family pre and post disintegration of Empire.

[Melanie Caldicott · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a moving book about family, generational pain and colonialism and how the unseen personal effects ripple on into the future. This book is cleverly nuanced and writes about the complexity of love and brokenness beautifully. I found the history of Mathur's family fascinating and the legacy of pain passed through the generations was very moving. A vivid, colourful glimpse into a wealthy Indian family trying to navigate through eras of change, deconstruction and reconstruction with hope of healing in the end.
This honest review is given with thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book.

[Amanda Smyth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brave and beautifully written memoir. Mathur brings alive startling episodes from her Indian past, proving truth is not just stranger, but often more compelling than fiction. There is a sense of her recklessly burning through her days in a quest to understand her pain. For all that, she offers the embers of her life with a rarely found wisdom.

This is a book about women; about mothers and daughters and the trauma they pass to one another. We are reminded of our need to belong, the agony of displacement. LOVE THE DARK DAYS offers to its readers a baton of healing and truth. An exquisite, compassionate and important book.

[Emma B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir and family history
This is Ira’s memoir and the story of her family. Having been born in India, to family that once had been rich and powerful, her immediate family now appeared disjointed and dysfunctional. Ira’s story tells of her growing up in Bangalore in the 1970s, and the atmosphere and beauty of India. She later continues her education in England and Canada, also living in London and Trinidad.

It tells of the magnificence (but not necessarily happy) of the past lives of her wealthy relatives, and the difficulties of growing up in a disjointed family who no longer had the wealth they had been born to, and who seem to have fallen out with each other to varying degrees. There were glimpses into both good and very difficult times of Ira’s life, but I would have liked more depth of exploration of the events related. This may be because there was so much information included within this one book, that by necessity the telling had to be brief.

Interrupting the story, throughout the book, are accounts of a weekend the author spent with Sir Derek Walcott in St Lucia. For me this distracted from the flow of Ira’s story.

Overall I found the book swung from totally wonderful, to my being confused as to who was who, and where this part of the story fitted in – perhaps reading a paper book, rather than via a Kindle, would have been easier for me to refer back to check dates etc. There were certainly plenty of dark days, and overall the story left me feeling rather sad for most of the characters contained within. There are wonderful photos of the main characters at the back of the book.

A memoir and family history that is packed full of glimpses into the lives of (more than) 3 generations of women in Ira’s family, and left me with a multitude of impressions but little certainty.

[Aurielle Housen-charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

The novel is a thought-provoking one that delves into the complex theme of forgiveness. As a reader, I found myself grappling with Mathur's handling of this delicate and deep human emotion. While the book presents a compelling exploration of forgiveness, it leaves room for both admiration and reservation.

One of the aspects I appreciated about the author's approach was her ability to capture the intricacies and challenges of forgiveness across generations. She skillfully portrayed the internal struggle of the characters, highlighting the emotional turmoil and conflicting desires they experienced. The story was filled with raw emotions and authentic portrayals of the pain and healing associated with forgiveness, making it a truly immersive experience.

The narrative also raised pertinent questions about the nature of forgiveness. Is it a choice or a process? Is forgiveness conditional or absolute? These inquiries prompted me to reflect on my own beliefs and perceptions of forgiveness, and I found myself engaging in self-examination and contemplation long after finishing the book.

Le sigh 😮‍💨

[Ambika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love The Dark Days is a non-fiction capturing Indian born, Trinidadian national and journalist's, Ira Mathur and her family from her time of birth to 2017. It was also the winner of the OCM @bocaslitfest Prize for Non-Fiction 2023. 🎉

Immersed in what you sometimes mistake for a story than actual lives, we travel from ancient post-colonial India to the island of Trinidad and Tobago to England and even Canada.

The author references a line from the late Mr. Derek Walcott's Nobel essay that says," Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole."

Love the Dark Days is a representation of this. The author and her family's life was nowhere near perfect. We see how familial upbringings leave footprints on future generations, how people can perceive love, the concept of love being a gradual process, cultural shifts as the world advances and even the sought out purpose of one's identity. Yet, familial loyalty, culture and bond is stronger than you think. 💯

The author's conversations with Mr. Walcott is sprinkled throughout the novel to tell the reader her intentions of writing and some motivators who assisted her in being so brave, willing and reflective to bear her heart on paper for the world to read. I truly applaud Mrs. Mathur for this. 👏

Another quote from the book reads, "We inherit not just the physical DNA from our ancestors but the emotional DNA."

And true to its word, Love The Dark Days is as much a representation of the loads the Mathur family carries and their legacy in the world till this day.

I loved seeing Ms. Mathur's take on her lineage and would even love to maybe hear one day what her family members who have read the book have to say. You do get glimpses of their personalities throughout and gain an eye into where they left their marks in the world. I even did extra research to determine where they are now. 😄

I really urge everyone to go into this with an open mind. It is an honest yet harsh truth at times about the world we live in. But, you will leave appreciating life and the people around you.

[Nadine Hunt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Set in India, England, Trinidad &Tobago and St. Lucia is the story of Poppet born of mixed Hindu-Muslim parentage. When Poppet moved in with her grandmother, who has a rich history of colluding with the British she unconsciously imbibes her prejudice of class and race and as the darker skinned child she starts feeling likes she doesn’t belong leading to not having a sense of who she was.
By the time calypso replaces the Raj in post-colonial Trinidad, the chains are off for all three generations of daughters and mothers in a family in their New World exile. But they are still stuck in place and enduring insecurity and threats, seen and unseen. The grandmother struggled with living in Trinidad and ultimately returns to India before moving back and living her final days in a nursing home in Trinidad. The author has an interesting relationship with Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott who mentors and reviews her draft. She bares it all, left no stones unturned.

[Nalini · Rating 5 out of 5]

An intriguing story of a young girl and her family moving continents but still linked inextricably to the homeland (India). This book explains so much about how the rest of the world is viewed by the upper classes in India and the strained relationship between Hindus and Muslims. Very easy to read. A complicated family set up leads to a very interesting and complex set of circumstances. A domineering grandmother who impacted the lives of her granddaughters but who was sent away because she overstepped.
A wonderful first novel.

[Ghislaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir where sentences melt into more poetry. The exotic combination of life in three quite different settings. From Mogul India, to Intellectual London, to third world Caribbean. Where the protagonist struggles with find a commonality with her ‘homes’ and place in her families. A deep and complicated journey. Enjoy the read!

[Patrick Napier · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written and incredibly honest memoir that I couldn't put down, highly recommended!

[Imshah Mohammed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read an early proof of Love the Dark Days. Love the Dark Days is a beautifully written story of generations of strong women and attempts to make room for themselves in the societies they find themselves part off. It spans more than 80 years and moves from India during the Raj and in the 1960s, the Caribbean (Tobago) during the 1970s and Trinidad during the 1990s,
This is not a memoir in the traditional sense, instead it uses the lives of the women to explore their potential, their restraints and for some their escape. The author’s prose is beautiful and rich, and the use of St. Lucia’s Nobel Laurate, Dereck Walcott, as a framing device on the nature of stories, as told by Ira Mathur’s grandmother and comments about the writing of the book itself allows the contrast of an old world and the potential of the New World.
Her observations on West Indian society, with its freedom from old hatreds (both religious and social) in contrast to India’s stratification and formality, allows the reader to see the choices that each woman makes, what to give up and what to hold on to and how it impacts our society, the changing relationships, and how prejudice, race, privilege have shaped our choices.
The way the story shifts easily from the funeral at the start to her grandmother’s stories allowed me to immerse myself in each part of the lives of the characters and does what a great book does, allow you to care about each of the characters, put yourself in their place and consider how their constraints guide their choices. Read it in two days and was left both satisfied and wanting more.

[Benedicta Norell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A luminous book with lessons for us all.

[Rol-J Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love The Dark Days is a complex, compelling, emotive and emotional read that you have to take your time with.
Ira Mathur's memoir takes you on several journeys from continents to the islands of Trinidad and Tobago, across several periods. She gives the history of her ancestors who held positions of prominence in several of the richest states of India, including Bhopal, having moved there from Kabul, Afghanistan. She also covers their eventual downfall and fall from grace with the fall of colonisation and the rise of internal government. Beyond that, the text focuses on the life of Mathur's grandmother, Burrimummy, who, having descended from Nawabs and Begums, finds herself struggling, fallen from grace, and living in the last vestige of the life her ancestors enjoyed. Burrimummy was a racist woman, and Mathur's decision to tear the plaster off of that sore and expose her life was important, because she ensured that her memoirs told the story of the class and caste structure in India, and the amalgam of oppression and conflict that was created when the British colonised India, further reinforcing these structures that pre-dated their arrival. Mathur demonstrated her Burrimummy as a perpetrator, and to some extent, a victim of these oppressive structures, but I view her more as a perpetrator. The book begins with Burrimummy as the perpetrator, and Mathur ends with her being a frail, vulnerable woman who has to shed her brutish ways. I applaud Mathur for exposing her own family members in such a manner. It could not have been easy, and I am certain some of her family members are upset, but this was a story that needed to be told.
Mathur also explored the complicated relationships within her family. She showed us that her family was fractured, but not fractured beyond repair or redemption. As the title of the memoir suggests, I think over time, Mathur was taught to love the dark days she faced in life, the dark days she had with her Burrimummy and her parents and siblings. While each person definitely has to bear some responsibility for damaging the family's relationships, I can also appreciate that all family members were also broken people who bore tremendous hurt and trauma. This is the kind of hurt that families do not fix before they venture into relationships. We expect others to make us whole.
Mathur gave us a welcomed glimpse into her love life, from her relationships (situationships) in England to her dating and eventually marrying Sadiq. She showed us just how broken, dysfunctional and disastrous those relationships were and how they complicated her life even more. All I could think of in reading about Mathur's relationship with her husband was toxic masculinity and oppression of women. He actively worked to break his wife even further. Honestly, some may applaud her sticking it out as resilience. I view it as the perpetuation of the vicious cycle of women being expected to look past the pain in the relationships, with the hope and promise of better on the horizon.
In the end, the memoir came together nicely. It was a memoir about forgiveness and redemption and it was only towards the end that I appreciated the inclusion of Mathur's interactions with Derek Walcott throughout the novel. In the beginning, it felt like overzealous fan-girling, and even a bit of piggy-backing on his legacy, but as the memoir rolled on, I began to realise that Walcott was teaching Mathur how to face the trauma from her life (although I feel like he was a bit of an exploitative creep); how to be one's self, and to love and appreciate that flawed image. The penultimate chapter on Walcott, where Mathur was leaving St. Lucia cemented this message for me, and compelled me to give this memoir five stars.
As my thoughts continue to develop, I will probably edit.
A wonderful memoir, overall. It requires deep reflection.

[Jacqui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written as a memoir and yet so much more, this story follows Poppet, a child of mixed Hindu and Muslim religion, who begins childhood living with her sister Angel and Burrimummy (grandmother). It’s a story of growing up unwanted, the prejudices against those seen as inferior, and the struggle to find an identity when no one has prepared her for life. It shows the complexities of flawed generations and the influence seemingly small decisions or actions have. The story shares a poignant look at a life that could have gone a number of ways and the choices the author faced (or had no control over) to end up where she is now. A vivid and fascinating journey that is well-written and plunges you so deeply into scenes sometimes that it is difficult to come back to the present.

I found this story quite difficult to read – for a number of reasons. In the beginning, when we are introduced to Poppet and her situation, it’s hard to understand how people are treated in certain ways or spoken to as they are for things not of their doing. Then, as the story continues, the interactions with Derek Walcott (while I understand help to move the story and explain her motivations) stop the flow of the story every now and then. You’d find yourself immersed in a part and the next chapter, when about Derek Walcott, would bring you out of the era you were in. Then the journey through her moving, college, and marriage left a very sour taste in my mouth – through no fault of her own. The interactions and conversations were heavy, and while there may be some who understand the history and feel the parts were normal, to me the lack of respect threw me and made me feel quite ill for a while after finishing the book. So in that respect, the author has done a tremendous job in getting the reader right into the situations.

Burrimummy was brought across as a character able to be hated and pitied. She was so caught up in her past that she couldn’t see changing times and changing choices and only felt validated by her possessions, connections, and perceived superiority over others. Poppet’s mummy had the redeeming feature of choice – and a backbone to go with it. Otherwise, her reliance on physical looks as validation and constant socialising in dances and visits made for a character without much substance.

Poppet’s struggles through life played on my mind for days. Trying to fit in as a child of mixed religion and where lighter skin than hers is preferred in post-colonial patriarchal India. Trying to fit in in the West Indies where emphasis is placed on different values. Trying to fit in in London in a modern society where she is wholly unprepared to be herself. At times, it even felt as though she was fighting the wrong fights.

The photos at the end of the book helped to cement how the reader envisaged the characters and settings (especially what Burrimummy looked like when she was younger), but what was missing for me though, was the connection between who and where the author is now to the last pieces of information we had. The ending felt rushed and left me asking for more information.

I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy this book, and at times I didn’t. But it left something with me. Something that made me hug my family closer, something that made me feel for those whose stories I don’t know, and something that made me motivated to do and be better.

Thank you to Loudhailer Books and NetGalley for a copy of the book to review.

[Caroline Repton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve now read Love the Dark Days twice since it came out a few months ago, and this time I devoured it in two days flat, more gripped by the epic story than ever. It’s an unputdownable, cross-cultural family saga with a difference, spanning continents and centuries.
Based on a true story, the book is described as a memoir but reads like auto-fiction. The narrator recounts how she is descended from a long line of powerful women dating back to the Beghums of Bophal during the Raj, culminating in her indomitable grandmother, her unmaternal but beautiful mother and matriarchal great-grandmother who were all alive during her lifetime. The scene shifts from the exotic Caribbean islands of Trinidad, Tobago and St Lucia in the more recent past, flashing back to India where the author grew up in the 1970s, to the UK where she studied in the 1980s and forward again to the Caribbean.
The title pays homage to a poem by the Caribbean poet Derek Walcott who plays a pivotal role in the book, while also underscoring the haunting, feverish atmosphere that is conjured up. The reader is transported to a tropical, steamy, colourful world, peopled by larger-than-life characters. Prepare to be swept off your feet by the lyrical language, in a story that is reminiscent of magical realism, while seamlessly weaving in some of the colonial and post-colonial history of the subcontinent, alternating with turbulent times in 21st century Trinidad.
This is a deeply personal, no-holds-barred account, often hilarious, at times shocking or moving – an emotional rollercoaster ride - told in the first person by the protagonist, a sensitive and observant Indian girl nicknamed Poppet. She recalls being looked after in a rambling old colonial villa in Bangalore as a child with her younger sister Angel by their domineering grandmother, known as ‘Burrimummy’ who lords it over a retinue of live-in servants. Their parents are conspicuous by their absence until a few years later, but you will have to read the book yourself to find out what happens next!
Narrated in a very matter-of-fact tone in the present tense, the story maintains a cracking pace and never lets up. This book defies being pigeon-holed into any genre – it is unique and passionately vibrant, bursting with an irrepressible, audacious joie de vivre, whilst at the same time shining a light on the darker side of life.