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The Way Things Look to Me
Roopa Farooki deftly explores the relationships and rivalries among siblings in this beautifully written novel, longlisted for the Orange Prize
When your little sister is anything but normal, is there a "normal" way to feel towards her?
The Murphy family is not like any other family on their block. Since both of their parents passed away, the three Murphy siblings, now entering adulthood, must grapple with the world's challenges - and each other - on their own. There's Yasmin, the youngest, who sees music in color and remembers so much that sometimes her head hurts, but whose autism renders her frustratingly distant. Lila, the stubbornly rebellious middle child who has never been able to forgive Yasmin for claiming so much of their mother's attention, leads a wayward existence, drifting between jobs and men. Asif, the responsible yet worn-down older brother, tries to hold the family together, but his commitment to caring for Yasmin has prevented him from having his own life. When the unthinkable threatens the family's delicate balance, will they stand together or fall apart? The Way Things Look to Me is a deeply moving portrayal of a family in crisis, caught between duty and love in a tangled relationship both bitter and bittersweet.
When your little sister is anything but normal, is there a "normal" way to feel towards her?
The Murphy family is not like any other family on their block. Since both of their parents passed away, the three Murphy siblings, now entering adulthood, must grapple with the world's challenges - and each other - on their own. There's Yasmin, the youngest, who sees music in color and remembers so much that sometimes her head hurts, but whose autism renders her frustratingly distant. Lila, the stubbornly rebellious middle child who has never been able to forgive Yasmin for claiming so much of their mother's attention, leads a wayward existence, drifting between jobs and men. Asif, the responsible yet worn-down older brother, tries to hold the family together, but his commitment to caring for Yasmin has prevented him from having his own life. When the unthinkable threatens the family's delicate balance, will they stand together or fall apart? The Way Things Look to Me is a deeply moving portrayal of a family in crisis, caught between duty and love in a tangled relationship both bitter and bittersweet.
341 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
13 people are currently reading
689 people want to read
About the author
Roopa Farooki
16 books74 followersRoopa was brought up in London and graduated from New College in Oxford in 1995. She worked in advertising and it 2004 quit to write full time. She now lives in south east London and south west France with her husband and two sons. Bitter Sweets is her first novel and in 2007 it was nominated for the Orange Award for New Writer.
Her second novel, Corner Shop was released in October 2008 and her third novel is due in 2009.
Her second novel, Corner Shop was released in October 2008 and her third novel is due in 2009.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
March 22, 2021
Asif lebt mit seinen beiden Schwestern Lila und Yasmin in London. Asif ist 23, Lila ein Jahr jünger. Yasmin ist 19. Die drei sind bereits Waisen. Als Asifs Mutter gestorben ist, hat er sein Studium abgebrochen, um wieder zu Hause zu leben und sich um seine Schwester Yasmin zu kümmern. Denn Yasmin hat das Asperger Syndrom – eine milde Form des Autismus. Yasmin braucht einen geregelten Tagesablauf; sie mag keine Abweichungen davon. Alles ist somit ganz genau geplant und durchdacht. Sie geht alleine zur Schule und steht kurz vor den Abschlußprüfungen. Yasmin ist sehr gut in der Schule; sie hat einen hohen IQ und kann sich sehr vieles merken. Sie weiß zum Beispiel genau, was sie an einem bestimmten Tag vor drei Jahren getragen hat. Ihr Gedächtnis ist unglaublich. Dafür fällt es ihr schwer, soziale Kontakte zu pflegen. Sie mag keinen Augenkontakt und keine Berührungen. Asif kümmert sich um Yasmin und sorgt für sie, und dabei geraten seine eigenen Bedürfnisse immer mehr in den Hintergrund. Seine Schwester Lila ist da ganz anders. Sie hat ihre eigene Wohnung und lebt in den Tag hinein. Ihre Frisuren wechselt sie so oft wie ihre Männer. Mal kleidet sie sich als Hippie, dann als Punker oder auch ganz bieder. Ihre Wohnung läßt sie verkommen; alles ist zugemüllt und vollgestellt. Sich selbst dagegen pflegt sie sehr; jeden Morgen braucht sie zwei Stunden im Badezimmer, um sich ausgehfertig zu machen. Sie hat Neurodermitis und schrubbt jeden Tag ihre Haut, bis sie wieder glatt aussieht. Asif und Lila hatten keine leichte Kindheit. Zwar sind sie geliebt worden von ihren Eltern, aber Yasmin stand immer im Vordergrund. Durch ihren Autismus hat sie immer die ganze Aufmerksamkeit bekommen, die sich auch Asif und Lila gewünscht hätten. Sie sind beide immer noch verbittert und auch ein wenig wütend auf Yasmin. Eines Tages überrascht Yasmin ihre Geschwister mit der Neuigkeit, daß ein Dokumentarfilm über Yasmin und ihr Leben gedreht werden soll. Asif ist skeptisch, und Lila ist sauer. Schon wieder dreht sich alles um Yasmin. Dann lernt Lila Henry kennen, ein Mitglied der Filmcrew. Henry ist fast blind und schafft es ganz langsam, Lila näherzukommen… Auch Asif macht eine neue Bekanntschaft. Im Büro trifft er zufällig auf Mei Lin und freundet sich mit ihr an… Yasmin dagegen hat ganz andere Gedanken. Sie merkt plötzlich, daß ihre Sehkraft nachläßt, und durch den Filmdreh kommen ihr zusätzlich noch Fragen in den Sinn, die sie sich früher nie gestellt hat. Ist sie glücklich? Hat sie Hoffnung?
Meine Meinung:
Ein ganz außergewöhnliches und sehr beeindruckendes Buch! Ich habe es innerhalb von zwei Tagen gelesen und auch danach hat es noch lange bei mir nachgewirkt. Das mag ich an Büchern. Es gibt sehr viele Bücher, an die ich mich kaum noch erinnern kann, sobald ich sie zugeklappt habe. Das ist bei „Als ich lernte zu fliegen“ absolut nicht der Fall. Die drei Protagonisten Asif, Lila und Yasmin sind alle auf ihre eigene Art sehr eindrucksvoll, und die Autorin schafft es mit ihrem Erzählstil, daß der Leser sich diese drei Figuren wirklich sehr real vorstellen kann. Fast ist es, als stünde man beim Lesen neben ihnen; als würde man sie tatsächlich eine Weile auf ihrem Weg begleiten. Es gelingt der Autorin auf sehr einfühlsame und doch sehr bildliche Weise, über Autismus und Neurodermitis so zu erzählen, daß selbst ein unerfahrener Leser sich mehr unter diesen Krankheitsbildern vorstellen kann. Zudem ist es ein wirklich tolles Buch, das von Jugendlichen und Erwachsenen gleichermaßen gelesen werden kann! Ich kann es jedem nur empfehlen!
Meine Meinung:
Ein ganz außergewöhnliches und sehr beeindruckendes Buch! Ich habe es innerhalb von zwei Tagen gelesen und auch danach hat es noch lange bei mir nachgewirkt. Das mag ich an Büchern. Es gibt sehr viele Bücher, an die ich mich kaum noch erinnern kann, sobald ich sie zugeklappt habe. Das ist bei „Als ich lernte zu fliegen“ absolut nicht der Fall. Die drei Protagonisten Asif, Lila und Yasmin sind alle auf ihre eigene Art sehr eindrucksvoll, und die Autorin schafft es mit ihrem Erzählstil, daß der Leser sich diese drei Figuren wirklich sehr real vorstellen kann. Fast ist es, als stünde man beim Lesen neben ihnen; als würde man sie tatsächlich eine Weile auf ihrem Weg begleiten. Es gelingt der Autorin auf sehr einfühlsame und doch sehr bildliche Weise, über Autismus und Neurodermitis so zu erzählen, daß selbst ein unerfahrener Leser sich mehr unter diesen Krankheitsbildern vorstellen kann. Zudem ist es ein wirklich tolles Buch, das von Jugendlichen und Erwachsenen gleichermaßen gelesen werden kann! Ich kann es jedem nur empfehlen!
October 10, 2023
I think one of the major reasons I was so amazed that Roopa Farooki's book was good was because no one ever discusses this author. Ever. I've been reading about and discussing and analysing Pakistani literature for a while now, and Farooki is so completely absent from the discourse that I expected this book to be a total bomb. Which is why when I began, and the words flowed together so smoothly, my first impression was that of shock, and my second one of happiness.
The plot and the characters and the narrative are all secondary. First and foremost is the fact that Farooki writes really well. And that’s a compliment only very few Pakistani authors can lay claim to. Her words are effortless; a façade that is so carefully constructed that it only crumbles in a few odd places. Overall, I notched this book one star higher just for the writing.
Another star was given for the characters, who are complex enough to retain interest. Asif and Lila, older siblings to the autistic Yasmin, deal with their mother’s death and their loss of any parental guidance (father gone in an early death) in completely different ways. Asif, stepping in as the sole caretaker, both perfects and resents his role as Yasmin’s indulgent guardian. Lila, selfish and volatile, completely tears herself away from her family, destroying every other relationship in its wake, but unable to separate herself completely.
Unfortunately, while Asif and Lila, and even Yasmin, make for compelling characters with their own distinct narrative arcs, it is the plot that lets the book down. I did not much care for Yasmin’s documentary filming, about the life of a non-neurotypical, nor was I overly invested in Asif or Lila’s tumultuous love lives. Even though both the siblings have compelling, vastly different personalities, and hence completely different trajectories in how they meet, fall in love, and sustain their relationships, it doesn’t make for a strong enough story to keep me reading for long. Asif’s slow acceptance of his worth and his realization that the gorgeous woman at his work place might be interested in him could be considered an interesting character study, but it isn’t a great narrative arc. Same with Lila and her blind boyfriend, who gets ten points for representation and not much else.
And while we are talking about representation, we might as well discuss Yasmin, whose Asperger’s combined with her synaesthesia should have made her one of the most interesting characters in this book. Unfortunately her larger than life siblings hold most of the attention, reducing Yasmin’s chapters to a more boring side note. Even though Farooki has tried her hardest to make Yasmin three dimensional, I always become uncomfortable trying to figure out if the representation is actually true. Even though I know that no two non-NT people are the same and I’m all for disability representation, I always need to take a step back and wonder whether the book isn’t using the representation the way people are using feminism and social activism these days, just because it’s in the spotlight. I guess overall this novel gets point for not featuring the same cut-and-paste characters, but misses out on drawing the reader in with the story itself.
Recommendation
This is the kind of book that I didn’t love but would understand if someone did. It’s the kind of book you can appreciate, with its comfortable phrases and character building and control over pacing. Definitely recommended.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
The plot and the characters and the narrative are all secondary. First and foremost is the fact that Farooki writes really well. And that’s a compliment only very few Pakistani authors can lay claim to. Her words are effortless; a façade that is so carefully constructed that it only crumbles in a few odd places. Overall, I notched this book one star higher just for the writing.
Another star was given for the characters, who are complex enough to retain interest. Asif and Lila, older siblings to the autistic Yasmin, deal with their mother’s death and their loss of any parental guidance (father gone in an early death) in completely different ways. Asif, stepping in as the sole caretaker, both perfects and resents his role as Yasmin’s indulgent guardian. Lila, selfish and volatile, completely tears herself away from her family, destroying every other relationship in its wake, but unable to separate herself completely.
Unfortunately, while Asif and Lila, and even Yasmin, make for compelling characters with their own distinct narrative arcs, it is the plot that lets the book down. I did not much care for Yasmin’s documentary filming, about the life of a non-neurotypical, nor was I overly invested in Asif or Lila’s tumultuous love lives. Even though both the siblings have compelling, vastly different personalities, and hence completely different trajectories in how they meet, fall in love, and sustain their relationships, it doesn’t make for a strong enough story to keep me reading for long. Asif’s slow acceptance of his worth and his realization that the gorgeous woman at his work place might be interested in him could be considered an interesting character study, but it isn’t a great narrative arc. Same with Lila and her blind boyfriend, who gets ten points for representation and not much else.
And while we are talking about representation, we might as well discuss Yasmin, whose Asperger’s combined with her synaesthesia should have made her one of the most interesting characters in this book. Unfortunately her larger than life siblings hold most of the attention, reducing Yasmin’s chapters to a more boring side note. Even though Farooki has tried her hardest to make Yasmin three dimensional, I always become uncomfortable trying to figure out if the representation is actually true. Even though I know that no two non-NT people are the same and I’m all for disability representation, I always need to take a step back and wonder whether the book isn’t using the representation the way people are using feminism and social activism these days, just because it’s in the spotlight. I guess overall this novel gets point for not featuring the same cut-and-paste characters, but misses out on drawing the reader in with the story itself.
Recommendation
This is the kind of book that I didn’t love but would understand if someone did. It’s the kind of book you can appreciate, with its comfortable phrases and character building and control over pacing. Definitely recommended.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
September 2, 2017
I love Roopa Farooki's novels. True to form, this novel is based around a 2nd or 3rd generation British/Pakistani family. We follow the perspectives of three siblings, who were orphaned by the unexpected death of their mother around five years prior to the start of the novel.
Sweet, dependable big brother Asif tries to parent his autistic sister Yasmin, while holding down a boring city job. His adherence to his sister's need for routine means he has very little social life. Yasmin is finishing her A-Levels, and will soon be the subject of a documentary, in an attempt to give the general public a better understanding of her condition. The third sibling, Lila, is an unrepentant hot-mess. She flits between new boyfriends and new jobs, refusing to settle down, and resenting her younger sister for always taking her parents' attention.
It's a family novel, about sacrifice and love. It's a little darker than many of Farooki's other novels, as it deals with themes of depression and aspergers, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
Sweet, dependable big brother Asif tries to parent his autistic sister Yasmin, while holding down a boring city job. His adherence to his sister's need for routine means he has very little social life. Yasmin is finishing her A-Levels, and will soon be the subject of a documentary, in an attempt to give the general public a better understanding of her condition. The third sibling, Lila, is an unrepentant hot-mess. She flits between new boyfriends and new jobs, refusing to settle down, and resenting her younger sister for always taking her parents' attention.
It's a family novel, about sacrifice and love. It's a little darker than many of Farooki's other novels, as it deals with themes of depression and aspergers, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
June 15, 2010
Based on the number of made-for-tv movies and specials on the topic, Americans are in love (or at least in fascination) with all things autistic. There is something engrossing in watching people with autism and trying to figure out how their minds work, because clearly their neurons are producing in ways that a typical person's brain is not. As a special educator, I've had more than my fair share of experience with children with autism. Ranging from non-verbal, stereotypical autism to high-functioning Aspergers Syndrome, I've pretty much seen it all.
It should therefore be taken as a great compliment when I say that Yasmin, the main character in Roopa Farooki's The Way Things Look to Me felt so authentic that I started comparing her to students I've worked with as though she was a real person. The novel revolves around three siblings-Yasmin, who has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and her older brother and sister, Asif and Kalila (Lila for short)-all in their late teens, early 20s. Asif drops out of university to take care of Yasmin when their mother dies unexpectedly when he is 18. Lila, younger by a year, flees home as soon as she can-and goes down a path of self-destruction that she lays squarely at the feet of Yasmin. Yasmin herself is just finishing her A levels, prior to going off to university. High functioning, verbal, extremely intelligent, Yasmin is poised to make the difficult transition from the sheltered world of her elite private school to real life.
The book examines the many ways that being a typical sibling of an exceptional child can be challenging, frustrating, and difficult. Both Asif and Lila felt that they had to fight for their mother's attention-Asif by always being the "good boy", and Lila by being loud and argumentative and difficult. The novel revolves around Asif and Lila's attempts to find happiness despite the baggage they carry about their childhood, and despite knowing that now that their mother is gone, they will not be able to escape Yasmin.
At the beginning, the most sympathetic character is Yasmin herself, which is saying something for Farooki's ability to write characters. Given that many people with Aspergers Syndrome do not feel or show emotion in typical ways, they can sometimes be seen as cold or unfeeling. When Farooki writes from Yasmin's point of view, it is clear that despite her limitations she is much more self-aware than her siblings. As the story develops, and flashbacks of their childhood are given, a clearer picture emerges of what made Asif and Lila the way they are. Farooki does not attempt to make us feel sorry for Yasmin, nor does she demonize Asif and Lila. What you get in this novel is an honest, warts-and-all account of living with autism.
It should therefore be taken as a great compliment when I say that Yasmin, the main character in Roopa Farooki's The Way Things Look to Me felt so authentic that I started comparing her to students I've worked with as though she was a real person. The novel revolves around three siblings-Yasmin, who has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and her older brother and sister, Asif and Kalila (Lila for short)-all in their late teens, early 20s. Asif drops out of university to take care of Yasmin when their mother dies unexpectedly when he is 18. Lila, younger by a year, flees home as soon as she can-and goes down a path of self-destruction that she lays squarely at the feet of Yasmin. Yasmin herself is just finishing her A levels, prior to going off to university. High functioning, verbal, extremely intelligent, Yasmin is poised to make the difficult transition from the sheltered world of her elite private school to real life.
The book examines the many ways that being a typical sibling of an exceptional child can be challenging, frustrating, and difficult. Both Asif and Lila felt that they had to fight for their mother's attention-Asif by always being the "good boy", and Lila by being loud and argumentative and difficult. The novel revolves around Asif and Lila's attempts to find happiness despite the baggage they carry about their childhood, and despite knowing that now that their mother is gone, they will not be able to escape Yasmin.
At the beginning, the most sympathetic character is Yasmin herself, which is saying something for Farooki's ability to write characters. Given that many people with Aspergers Syndrome do not feel or show emotion in typical ways, they can sometimes be seen as cold or unfeeling. When Farooki writes from Yasmin's point of view, it is clear that despite her limitations she is much more self-aware than her siblings. As the story develops, and flashbacks of their childhood are given, a clearer picture emerges of what made Asif and Lila the way they are. Farooki does not attempt to make us feel sorry for Yasmin, nor does she demonize Asif and Lila. What you get in this novel is an honest, warts-and-all account of living with autism.
September 11, 2016
The book tells the story of Yasmin (who has Asperger's) and her two older siblings, Asif and Lila. Each chapter depicts the story from the perspective of one of the 3 characters and is set both in the present time and occasionally goes back to give the reader some back story.
Basically the siblings are left with no parents so Asif becomes the carer for Yasmin, and I think the reader is supposed to feel some sympathy towards him. Lila on the other hand takes no responsibility for her sister and in fact quite frequently suggests that she feels Yasmin does not in fact have Asperger's and is just spoilt. I actually really liked Lila whilst I wanted to shake Asif and tell him to man up. Perhaps this was intentional??
The idea behind the story is great. And it's a very easy read - flowing quite well. But I have issues with both the love interests that Asif and Lila gain through the novel. It makes the book feel a little trivial and more like a chick lit novel than I think it should.
I have decided that if I am not getting an overwhelming desire to go to bed early to read my current book, than I won't mark it higher than 3. And I can't say I was ever desperate to find out what happened. That being said, I could see many others loving the characters and their development so please don't let this rating put you off. It's worth a read. And I would try another novel by this writer.
Basically the siblings are left with no parents so Asif becomes the carer for Yasmin, and I think the reader is supposed to feel some sympathy towards him. Lila on the other hand takes no responsibility for her sister and in fact quite frequently suggests that she feels Yasmin does not in fact have Asperger's and is just spoilt. I actually really liked Lila whilst I wanted to shake Asif and tell him to man up. Perhaps this was intentional??
The idea behind the story is great. And it's a very easy read - flowing quite well. But I have issues with both the love interests that Asif and Lila gain through the novel. It makes the book feel a little trivial and more like a chick lit novel than I think it should.
I have decided that if I am not getting an overwhelming desire to go to bed early to read my current book, than I won't mark it higher than 3. And I can't say I was ever desperate to find out what happened. That being said, I could see many others loving the characters and their development so please don't let this rating put you off. It's worth a read. And I would try another novel by this writer.
October 20, 2012
Responsibility for the care of Yasmin falls to her older brother when their mother dies suddenly and the impact of having a family member with ASD is deftly explored in this lovely book.
An overarching theme in the novel is one of sacrifice. Asif is forced to abandon his student life in a prestigious University to assume the role of head of the family on his mother's death. This, in turn, leads him to forego a bright future for a monotonous career and the relentless daily grind of maintaining predictable routine for his sister.
Middle sister Lila is the 'rebel' of the family. She rejects conformity with reckless abandon, living in squalor and embarking on a string of unsatisfying relationships. However, it emerges that Lila harbours a simmering resentment of her younger sister and the way in which Yasmin's needs held her mother hostage and monopolised her attention.
The relationships in the book are developed beautifully and show that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
May 10, 2013
Why the hell are such juvenile books being passed off as adult fiction? Waste of paper, time and space.
April 12, 2019
I wanted to love this more than I did for the following reasons - the characters had disabilities (and even supposedly able people were portrayed as having some sort of comparable trait...so this wasn't just the medical model. The medical model was danced around and partly deconstructed), the characters were not all white, consent was a heavily pushed feature of the two romances in the book,
For these reasons I wanted to love the book. I also felt that the author's world-view could potentially include gay people (though possibly not bi) and in essence I felt a lot of goodwill and a lot of good intention which was refreshing. The writing itself however was not fantastic, there were a lot of cliches and stereotypes and the sentences were clunky. The POV switching was possibly needed in terms of what the book was trying to say but it made it harder and less enjoyable to read, especially the chapters by Yasmin (at least mercifully short). The romance still had some problematic elements to it (mainly stereotyping) and was a bit oversweet to the point where it's unbearable. Also using romance as a reward for character growth so heavy-handedly was unhelpful for those of us who will probably never find someone so overly perfect. For a book that in other ways was seeking to truth tell (which I applaud) the escapist, syrupy version of sexual.romantic relationships was a bit over the top...I felt there was also some slut-shaming of how Lila was before she found "the one" and included in what was shamed was her wearing makeup...suddenly she is prettier and better when she doesn't wear makeup. I understood what the author was trying to do there but I think more nuance would have helped.
I think a lot of people might like this book more than I did but I have to admit at times I struggled to keep reading it which is a shame because liberal choice-theory aside the ending was probably the best part.
For these reasons I wanted to love the book. I also felt that the author's world-view could potentially include gay people (though possibly not bi) and in essence I felt a lot of goodwill and a lot of good intention which was refreshing. The writing itself however was not fantastic, there were a lot of cliches and stereotypes and the sentences were clunky. The POV switching was possibly needed in terms of what the book was trying to say but it made it harder and less enjoyable to read, especially the chapters by Yasmin (at least mercifully short). The romance still had some problematic elements to it (mainly stereotyping) and was a bit oversweet to the point where it's unbearable. Also using romance as a reward for character growth so heavy-handedly was unhelpful for those of us who will probably never find someone so overly perfect. For a book that in other ways was seeking to truth tell (which I applaud) the escapist, syrupy version of sexual.romantic relationships was a bit over the top...I felt there was also some slut-shaming of how Lila was before she found "the one" and included in what was shamed was her wearing makeup...suddenly she is prettier and better when she doesn't wear makeup. I understood what the author was trying to do there but I think more nuance would have helped.
I think a lot of people might like this book more than I did but I have to admit at times I struggled to keep reading it which is a shame because liberal choice-theory aside the ending was probably the best part.
November 5, 2025
I liked this book. It was funny with Asif referring to Mei Lin as the most beautiful woman in the world before he knew her name. I liked Lila and Henry’s relationship and how she was able to finally see life in a different light after that. Agreed that she did not need a man for that but the relationship was still very cute.
It was not nice seeing the way Lila spoke of and felt towards Yasmin for the first half of the book but I also think it’s gives perspective to an honest and overlooked kind of experience for some who grow up being a glass child to a sibling with special needs + especially after being orphaned. The ending had me scared for Yasmin but it was lovely to see how the relationship between the three siblings changed towards the end and them all choosing to live life. + Asif was a very admirable character with taking on the role of being the parent to his younger sisters despite there not being a big age gap between them all. Not without fault though, even though it took a while it was nice to see him realise whilst he cared a lot for Lila, he often overlooked her because he was concerned for Yasmin all the time.
+ Yasmin’s character came across to me kind of stereotypical a lot so in my personal opinion, not great to read her chapters as much. Alexithymia is a common thing people with ASD also have but something about the way it was written made it seem like she was emotionless and felt stereotypical.
Slow moving book didn’t seem to be too much of a plot but it was nice.
It was not nice seeing the way Lila spoke of and felt towards Yasmin for the first half of the book but I also think it’s gives perspective to an honest and overlooked kind of experience for some who grow up being a glass child to a sibling with special needs + especially after being orphaned. The ending had me scared for Yasmin but it was lovely to see how the relationship between the three siblings changed towards the end and them all choosing to live life. + Asif was a very admirable character with taking on the role of being the parent to his younger sisters despite there not being a big age gap between them all. Not without fault though, even though it took a while it was nice to see him realise whilst he cared a lot for Lila, he often overlooked her because he was concerned for Yasmin all the time.
+ Yasmin’s character came across to me kind of stereotypical a lot so in my personal opinion, not great to read her chapters as much. Alexithymia is a common thing people with ASD also have but something about the way it was written made it seem like she was emotionless and felt stereotypical.
Slow moving book didn’t seem to be too much of a plot but it was nice.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 2, 2025
This is one of these books that I have been wanting to read and has sat on my shelf for so long but also one that I typically see an interesting cover so never read the blurb 🙃 However, I was really surprised!!
It was written 13 years ago when ASD (autism spectrum disorder) was aspergers, when I was probably too young to even understand it myself. But working now with young people the age of Yasmin, doing their A-Levels and understanding their sensory needs, I felt like I was reading a book on the inside of my young people who are struggling with getting professionals like myself to understand their needs and also their mental health, but also the needs of their families who are fighting for their young people. It feels so prominent to want to read
It was emotional, heart breaking and a real battle of a family going through a range of grief. But an interesting insightful read into the mind of young people facing their own challenges.
It was written 13 years ago when ASD (autism spectrum disorder) was aspergers, when I was probably too young to even understand it myself. But working now with young people the age of Yasmin, doing their A-Levels and understanding their sensory needs, I felt like I was reading a book on the inside of my young people who are struggling with getting professionals like myself to understand their needs and also their mental health, but also the needs of their families who are fighting for their young people. It feels so prominent to want to read
It was emotional, heart breaking and a real battle of a family going through a range of grief. But an interesting insightful read into the mind of young people facing their own challenges.
March 31, 2021
The characters were really 3-dimensional which made this hard to put down, could have been a bit subtler as everything felt too convenient and uniformly wrapped up by the end. But still an enjoyable read for the characters, especially Lila.
May 8, 2023
bit outdated now in the language around autism, bit cheesey in some points which i personally am not a fan of but know others are, and some topics i would have liked to have had more exploration. BUT was a good book and I enjoyed that it wasnt the same old template for a story
January 30, 2019
This was amazing!!
June 1, 2017
a nice book to read but not as memorable as it should be. i like that the writings by the author flows very naturally and is not complicated. i expected this book to be a "heavy" reading which is dark and potentially depressing as it deals with how two elder siblings (asif and lila) cope with their youngest sibling(yasmin)'s asperger's syndrome. what attracted me to this book in the first place is that being an elder sister myself, i couldn't imagine being tasked with taking care of a challenged family member FOREVER. how would i cope with the situation? can i even begin to understand the dedication and responsibility involved? and so i set out to finish this book with the goal of trying to understand what is involved. i have a niggling feeling that the author glosses over the hardships a little too much though. character-wise, lila and asif are very believable. you can easily relate to them and they could be just passing by you on the streets. as for yasmin, i think not enough is given to us by the author to see the depth of her asperger's syndrome and how it affected everyone around her to a greater extent. seeing as i have no first-hand experience in encountering asperger's syndrome, i do not know if yasmin belongs to the majority or minority of asperger's sufferers but i do hope she is in the majority. in the book, she is quite functional and independent to a certain extent and that is probably what make the book not as depressing as i dreaded and expected. it makes me think that people with asperger's syndrome CAN take care of themselves more than what we believe and that we don't need to be overly-protective of them. at the end of the books, readers will probably be like me, curious about what next steps will the three siblings take? can yasmin really find happiness for herself? the author does not have a conclusive ending, but the lack of conclusive ending does not annoys me like it usually does as it gives me hopes and i sincerely root for yasmin and her siblings to have the life they want for themselves.
April 25, 2010
There seems to have been a glut of novels recently that have a main character with Aspergers Syndrome and/or synesthesia, Roopa Farooki's lead character in The Way Things Look To Me is Yasmin, a nineteen year old girl who has AS and sees emotions and sounds as colours, or to use the correct term, is synesthetic.
Although Yasmin is the lead character and the plot of the novel centres around her, she actually does not play a big part in the story. It is the effect of Yasmin's AS and her need for structure in her life and how that has affected her siblings that is the central point of the novel.
Asif is Yasmin's brother, and since the death of their parents, her carer. Asif is described by everyone as a 'nice boy', he has given up his Cambridge studies, his love-life and his future to do his duty and care for Yasmin. Lila is Yasmin's sister, a self-confessed bitch who lives in chaos, spends hours scrubbing at her eczema blighted skin so as to appear beautiful and treats men as throw-away commodities.
Yasmin is totally self-absorbed, she doesnt have any comprehension of what effect her behaviours have had on her family, as long as her breakfast is yellow and the order of her day is uninterrupted then she is fine.
When a TV production company start to film a documentary about Yasmin and her gifts, Asif and Lila start to unfold. We see how damaged they are underneath their coping exterior.
This is a well-written and well-researched novel, with some very flawed but very understandable and likeable characters. Asif and Lila are the stars of the novel, even is Yasmin is the central pin.
A very emotional story, but also witty and uplifting and compassionately written. Long-listed for the 2010 Orange Prize but sadly did not make the short list.
Although Yasmin is the lead character and the plot of the novel centres around her, she actually does not play a big part in the story. It is the effect of Yasmin's AS and her need for structure in her life and how that has affected her siblings that is the central point of the novel.
Asif is Yasmin's brother, and since the death of their parents, her carer. Asif is described by everyone as a 'nice boy', he has given up his Cambridge studies, his love-life and his future to do his duty and care for Yasmin. Lila is Yasmin's sister, a self-confessed bitch who lives in chaos, spends hours scrubbing at her eczema blighted skin so as to appear beautiful and treats men as throw-away commodities.
Yasmin is totally self-absorbed, she doesnt have any comprehension of what effect her behaviours have had on her family, as long as her breakfast is yellow and the order of her day is uninterrupted then she is fine.
When a TV production company start to film a documentary about Yasmin and her gifts, Asif and Lila start to unfold. We see how damaged they are underneath their coping exterior.
This is a well-written and well-researched novel, with some very flawed but very understandable and likeable characters. Asif and Lila are the stars of the novel, even is Yasmin is the central pin.
A very emotional story, but also witty and uplifting and compassionately written. Long-listed for the 2010 Orange Prize but sadly did not make the short list.
March 6, 2019
This is the second time I've read this book, and I'm sad to say it wasn't quite as good as the first time, so I've downgraded it from five to four stars. To be honest I think if this was the first time I was reading, it could have been three, I'm not sure - I was definitely swayed by a certain level of nostalgia revisiting these characters. The story itself is nothing special, but I loved Asif and Lila. Particularly Lila.
The thing that didn't sit so well with me this time round was the representation of Asperger's. I've read more widely since the first reading and it just felt a little stereotypical and lacked depth. I'd be interested to know if anyone with Asperger's has read this and liked/disliked it. It felt a little able-ist in the sense that Yasmin was presented as a "problem" throughout. Yes, Asif says to her that she doesn't need to "get better", but by that point it felt a little like lip service because for the bulk of the book, Yasmin's Asperger's is presented as nothing but a bad thing.
This book also needs a trigger warning for self-harm which also felt a little superficial in places as it wasn't really explored and seem to magically resolve itself.
I realise this is a strange review, largely negative for a four-star rating, but don't underestimate the power of nostalgia! Asif and Lila's storylines are essentially chick lit but they made me feel cringingly warm and fuzzy, just like the first time I read it.
The thing that didn't sit so well with me this time round was the representation of Asperger's. I've read more widely since the first reading and it just felt a little stereotypical and lacked depth. I'd be interested to know if anyone with Asperger's has read this and liked/disliked it. It felt a little able-ist in the sense that Yasmin was presented as a "problem" throughout. Yes, Asif says to her that she doesn't need to "get better", but by that point it felt a little like lip service because for the bulk of the book, Yasmin's Asperger's is presented as nothing but a bad thing.
This book also needs a trigger warning for self-harm which also felt a little superficial in places as it wasn't really explored and seem to magically resolve itself.
I realise this is a strange review, largely negative for a four-star rating, but don't underestimate the power of nostalgia! Asif and Lila's storylines are essentially chick lit but they made me feel cringingly warm and fuzzy, just like the first time I read it.
April 24, 2011
Aargh! How did this book end up on my shelf? I don't know but I took it on vacation, and read it one jetlagged sleepless night. To me this is the negative definition of "chick lit", and I say that as someone who loved Judith Krantz, Jilly Cooper, Lace, Bridget Jones, to say nothing of the Brontes and Austen, and many other exemplars of the genre. This books takes a "creative" and "challenging" family premise -- a sibling with Aspergers -- clothes it in bad prose and plot improbabilities, and then lets one note characters suffer and then fall in love. One sibling is improbably saintly, his character early on depicted as so nerdy and colorless as to make the "happy twist" where he gets the (most beautiful) girl so improbable as to seem bizarre. Another is routinely bitchy and repulsive, yet in the logic of such books, a charming and thoughtful "Mr. Wrong", instantly perceives that she is gloriously unique and precious (and NOT because she's beautiful), persists through all kinds of terrible treatment, and eventually gives us another completely fantastic (and laboriously dull) happy ending. All is justified by (of course) flashbacks that conveniently root character traits in suitably dramatic childhood episodes... Don't know how I got this one, as I said, and the Aspergers treatment may or may not be on the money, but the trappings are just too trite.
April 9, 2018
Don’t even bother to read this book. There’s no development of characters and relationships. There’s no focus in the story plot. It felt like three separate stories that are too cliche and superficial.
The protagonist Yasmin is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). I often have a soft spot for characters like her and was looking forward to learn more about her. I was left disappointed to find her character under and poorly developed. Yasmin’s obsession with colours, routines and the lack of social skills feel stereotypical and tokenistic. It feels like the author googled up AS and just recreated this character when there is so much more behind the behaviours.
None of the characters are likeable and it just wasted my time skimming through this book with an underwhelming ending.
The protagonist Yasmin is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). I often have a soft spot for characters like her and was looking forward to learn more about her. I was left disappointed to find her character under and poorly developed. Yasmin’s obsession with colours, routines and the lack of social skills feel stereotypical and tokenistic. It feels like the author googled up AS and just recreated this character when there is so much more behind the behaviours.
None of the characters are likeable and it just wasted my time skimming through this book with an underwhelming ending.
February 12, 2010
This novel tells about the relationship between 3 siblings, Yasmin who has Aspenger's Syndrome, Lilla, arty, crazy and non-conformist and Asif, a young bright accountant who's always been the good boy of the family.
It goes thru events, past and present, of the family coping with Yasmin's condition, and how it lead to resentment from her siblings, that they were sidelined by their mum. Their mum sudden death, leaves a vacum in which they struggle to come to terms with each other.
Thru all this, Yasmin sees the world differently. She's highly intelligent, but is unconnected from her own feelings and from others, and she cant define her happiness and her hopes for the future.
It goes thru events, past and present, of the family coping with Yasmin's condition, and how it lead to resentment from her siblings, that they were sidelined by their mum. Their mum sudden death, leaves a vacum in which they struggle to come to terms with each other.
Thru all this, Yasmin sees the world differently. She's highly intelligent, but is unconnected from her own feelings and from others, and she cant define her happiness and her hopes for the future.
January 10, 2012
This book started slow for me and really started to pick up steam as it went on. It is about a family of three siblings who have been left behind by their parent's deaths. The youngest sister has Asperger's Syndrome, which has had an impact on the entire family. Written from all of their different points of view, it is an interesting window into that world. The author does an amazing job of describing what it would be to live in the shoes of someone who has Asperger's Syndrome. As I was reading this book I literally started to turn the pages faster and faster as I went along. Good book.
November 1, 2016
This is not a life-changing book, but I think the story is very well written. I loved how the author played with the words and how consistent the story was. It was also interesting to discover more about the way people with Asperger syndrome experience life. The 3 stars don't reflect the quality of the book, but the intensity of the story.
June 25, 2011
A good book on how Asperger's Syndrome can effect the family of those living with a person with the syndrome. Throw in some wonderful writing, great characters, and you have something that will have brad appeal!
March 28, 2017
While this book mostly achieves what it aims to achieve, and has a few nice passages, it remains a fairly unremarkable and stylistically dull attempt at trying to portray a radically different way of looking at life.
September 2, 2011
Mash up of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night and Bridget Jones' Diary
October 27, 2011
Quick read, not perfect but not a bad book.
May 28, 2013
This book is a bible on how to write a novel with all the cliches possible. Makes Karan Johar's 'My Name is Khan' look like a masterpiece. Strictly avoidable.
October 30, 2016
Found the POV of an autistic woman particularly interesting and informative.
June 9, 2019
“My name is Yasmin Murphy, and I don’t remember very much about the morning that my mum died, which is odd, as normally I remember everything.”
'The Way Things Look to Me' is the story of Yasmin and her brother and sister, Asif and Lila, each of whose life is completely changed by the death of their previously widowed mother. Life wasn’t easy before she died and their childhoods were already far from ‘standard’ because everything revolving around the needs of Yasmin. If Yasmin didn’t like something, then the Murphy children didn’t get to do it – after all, where was the fun in going out to have fun and finding Yasmin spoiling it for the others?
Yasmin’s not joking when she says she has an amazing memory. She has Asperger’s Syndrome, a high performing form of autism and she can tell you exactly what she (and you) were wearing on any day, even down to how many buttons were done up on your shirt. She sees music in colours and is tormented by the questions that psychologists keep asking her; “Is she happy?” and “Does she have hope for the future”. She says yes to both questions because she’s learned that’s what they expect – but is it really true? What is hope and what is happiness?
Yasmin is 19, attending a good local school and projected to walk her A levels without much effort thanks to that phenomenal memory. But life has a way of balancing the blessings with the disadvantages. Yasmin has very limited social skills and has to remind herself to count – Mississippi One, Mississippi Two – when trying to maintain eye contact. She loves routine and structure, panics about any kind of change, and her behaviour has been a bind for her family since she was a toddler. Early in the book, she announces that a film company wants to make a documentary about her life and sees this as an opportunity to show the ‘non-NT’ (non-neurotypical) world what it’s like to be Yasmin.
Asif Declan Kalil Murphy is Yasmin’s big brother and primary carer. He was a talented and bright student forced to cut short his Cambridge education by his mother’s death. At 23, life isn’t what he expected and he can’t see it getting better. It’s not easy to have a normal social life when you’re preoccupied with maintaining a stable and routine environment for your sister. He loves her, he wants the best for her, but can he find space in his life to be his own person, let alone a potential partner? Will any woman – let alone the gorgeous older woman on whom he has a massive crush at the City accountancy firm where he works – ever want a man with quite so much baggage?
Lila is Yasmin’s sister, tortured by self-doubt and by extreme eczema which has her spending hours in the bath, scraping, scrubbing, exfoliating and emolliating every day. From the outside, she’s polished, smart, attractive, but she’s constantly fighting her perceived inner ugliness. Her resentment of Yasmin is strong and often expressed. She’s moved out of the family home and has been engaging in relationships with either the wrong sort of man (shagging the boss in the store cupboard) or men who are little more than accessories or status symbols (for example the gorgeous Wesley, wealthy, well-dressed and sophisticated). Lila is a self-harmer, fighting her inner demons with a craft knife and rejecting her little sister as the ‘Rain Girl’. She’s not convinced that Yasmin’s really got Asperger’s, after all, if she’s doing SO well, as the doctors keep saying, maybe there’s not really anything wrong with her. Maybe Yasmin has destroyed her siblings’ childhood for nothing more than just being a really demanding and unpleasant child. When Lila meets Henry, the blind researcher working on Yasmin’s documentary, can she put aside her prejudices about disability and appearances and learn to love?
The Way Things Look to Me?
It looks very good indeed – in short, I loved this book. It wasn’t a surprise since I’d adored Farooki’s first book, Bitter Sweets, so I knew what to expect. Each of the three characters is multi-dimensional and written with great sensitivity and insight. By turns, we’re confronted with very good reasons why each might resent the others but reassured by the familial love that binds them almost against their wishes and instincts. In Asif, we have the ‘good boy’ who puts others first, in his sister Lila we’ve the selfish ‘bad girl’ and in Yasmin herself we have the logical analytical and entirely unemotional counterpoint to the other two. For both the older siblings, Yasmin is a major constraint on the way they’d prefer to live their lives but when push comes to shove – and we as observers see it moving inexorably towards a potential tragedy – we’re left to wonder whether blood will prove yet again to be thicker than water?
The small cast of supporting characters is also well painted. Lin Mei, the young mother and sexy older woman who captivates Asif and Henry the blind documentary maker in love with loud-mouthed Lila are both adorable characters who we can’t help but be cheering on as they weave their lives into the web of the Murphy family. It could so easily all go very wrong but we have to trust Farooki to take care of her characters.
One of the most refreshing and unexpected aspects of the book is the way in which race and religion are treated, as Yasmin would say as ‘mostly or wholly irrelevant’. We are dangled the carrot of a complex family background – an Irish father, a mother from an undisclosed place on the Indian sub-continent (Pakistan, Bangladesh, India – who knows?) – but other than a few paragraphs about how hard it is to live with a name like Asif Declan Kalil Murphy, the skeleton of intrigue about how their parents met and came to marry or what conflicts their marriage might have caused within their families, goes entirely unfleshed with any detail. Relatives on either side are conspicuously absent and we’re left perhaps to fill in the blanks for ourselves.
Similarly, the issue of their mother’s death is never resolved. I expected throughout that as the plot moved between present and past, the truth of what happened would be revealed, and yet that never happened. I still don’t know how or why their mother died – and it’s a challenge to recognise that yet again, it’s ‘mostly or wholly irrelevant’ to what happens in the book.
The book is well paced with the coverage well balanced between the three characters. There is no central hero or heroine – it’s a very egalitarian piece. Each has their needs, their dreams and their demons, yet each is a realistic ‘warts and all’ person who is sometimes hard to love or respect and yet they still get under the skin of the reader. I was left wanting a follow-up, another chapter in the lives of the Murphys to take me a few years further into their lives. I don’t think you can ask for a better indication of how much I came to care about these three damaged young people.
'The Way Things Look to Me' is the story of Yasmin and her brother and sister, Asif and Lila, each of whose life is completely changed by the death of their previously widowed mother. Life wasn’t easy before she died and their childhoods were already far from ‘standard’ because everything revolving around the needs of Yasmin. If Yasmin didn’t like something, then the Murphy children didn’t get to do it – after all, where was the fun in going out to have fun and finding Yasmin spoiling it for the others?
Yasmin’s not joking when she says she has an amazing memory. She has Asperger’s Syndrome, a high performing form of autism and she can tell you exactly what she (and you) were wearing on any day, even down to how many buttons were done up on your shirt. She sees music in colours and is tormented by the questions that psychologists keep asking her; “Is she happy?” and “Does she have hope for the future”. She says yes to both questions because she’s learned that’s what they expect – but is it really true? What is hope and what is happiness?
Yasmin is 19, attending a good local school and projected to walk her A levels without much effort thanks to that phenomenal memory. But life has a way of balancing the blessings with the disadvantages. Yasmin has very limited social skills and has to remind herself to count – Mississippi One, Mississippi Two – when trying to maintain eye contact. She loves routine and structure, panics about any kind of change, and her behaviour has been a bind for her family since she was a toddler. Early in the book, she announces that a film company wants to make a documentary about her life and sees this as an opportunity to show the ‘non-NT’ (non-neurotypical) world what it’s like to be Yasmin.
Asif Declan Kalil Murphy is Yasmin’s big brother and primary carer. He was a talented and bright student forced to cut short his Cambridge education by his mother’s death. At 23, life isn’t what he expected and he can’t see it getting better. It’s not easy to have a normal social life when you’re preoccupied with maintaining a stable and routine environment for your sister. He loves her, he wants the best for her, but can he find space in his life to be his own person, let alone a potential partner? Will any woman – let alone the gorgeous older woman on whom he has a massive crush at the City accountancy firm where he works – ever want a man with quite so much baggage?
Lila is Yasmin’s sister, tortured by self-doubt and by extreme eczema which has her spending hours in the bath, scraping, scrubbing, exfoliating and emolliating every day. From the outside, she’s polished, smart, attractive, but she’s constantly fighting her perceived inner ugliness. Her resentment of Yasmin is strong and often expressed. She’s moved out of the family home and has been engaging in relationships with either the wrong sort of man (shagging the boss in the store cupboard) or men who are little more than accessories or status symbols (for example the gorgeous Wesley, wealthy, well-dressed and sophisticated). Lila is a self-harmer, fighting her inner demons with a craft knife and rejecting her little sister as the ‘Rain Girl’. She’s not convinced that Yasmin’s really got Asperger’s, after all, if she’s doing SO well, as the doctors keep saying, maybe there’s not really anything wrong with her. Maybe Yasmin has destroyed her siblings’ childhood for nothing more than just being a really demanding and unpleasant child. When Lila meets Henry, the blind researcher working on Yasmin’s documentary, can she put aside her prejudices about disability and appearances and learn to love?
The Way Things Look to Me?
It looks very good indeed – in short, I loved this book. It wasn’t a surprise since I’d adored Farooki’s first book, Bitter Sweets, so I knew what to expect. Each of the three characters is multi-dimensional and written with great sensitivity and insight. By turns, we’re confronted with very good reasons why each might resent the others but reassured by the familial love that binds them almost against their wishes and instincts. In Asif, we have the ‘good boy’ who puts others first, in his sister Lila we’ve the selfish ‘bad girl’ and in Yasmin herself we have the logical analytical and entirely unemotional counterpoint to the other two. For both the older siblings, Yasmin is a major constraint on the way they’d prefer to live their lives but when push comes to shove – and we as observers see it moving inexorably towards a potential tragedy – we’re left to wonder whether blood will prove yet again to be thicker than water?
The small cast of supporting characters is also well painted. Lin Mei, the young mother and sexy older woman who captivates Asif and Henry the blind documentary maker in love with loud-mouthed Lila are both adorable characters who we can’t help but be cheering on as they weave their lives into the web of the Murphy family. It could so easily all go very wrong but we have to trust Farooki to take care of her characters.
One of the most refreshing and unexpected aspects of the book is the way in which race and religion are treated, as Yasmin would say as ‘mostly or wholly irrelevant’. We are dangled the carrot of a complex family background – an Irish father, a mother from an undisclosed place on the Indian sub-continent (Pakistan, Bangladesh, India – who knows?) – but other than a few paragraphs about how hard it is to live with a name like Asif Declan Kalil Murphy, the skeleton of intrigue about how their parents met and came to marry or what conflicts their marriage might have caused within their families, goes entirely unfleshed with any detail. Relatives on either side are conspicuously absent and we’re left perhaps to fill in the blanks for ourselves.
Similarly, the issue of their mother’s death is never resolved. I expected throughout that as the plot moved between present and past, the truth of what happened would be revealed, and yet that never happened. I still don’t know how or why their mother died – and it’s a challenge to recognise that yet again, it’s ‘mostly or wholly irrelevant’ to what happens in the book.
The book is well paced with the coverage well balanced between the three characters. There is no central hero or heroine – it’s a very egalitarian piece. Each has their needs, their dreams and their demons, yet each is a realistic ‘warts and all’ person who is sometimes hard to love or respect and yet they still get under the skin of the reader. I was left wanting a follow-up, another chapter in the lives of the Murphys to take me a few years further into their lives. I don’t think you can ask for a better indication of how much I came to care about these three damaged young people.
February 17, 2020
I don’t really know what to make of this book. On the one hand I think Farooki is evidently skilled and capable enough of writing a much cleverer story but after a couple of pages this story became tediously predictable and twee. At the end of the book it became obvious that she is an ambassador for Relate as the interactions and argument resolutions read so much like scripted therapy session for couples having aspects of difficulty in their relationships...the jealousy experienced by Henry and Lila’s improbable patience in dealing with it was just so superficial and staged it just had to be a teaching session script. All the issues experienced by each of the protagonists were resolved far too quickly and completely. She might as well have ended the book with... ‘and they all lived happily thereafter’. The thing that annoyed me the most however, and a serious point, is how little the Dad was involved. Farooki is clearly a feminist sort, unfortunately only seeing the good in men if they behave like mothers. Like Asif who selflessly cares for his sister and Mai Lin’s baby. While Lila’s sluttish and shallow behaviour is explored and mitigated and understood and forgiven. Men are increasingly given short thrift these days. Especially Dads and especially estranged Dads. ‘As If’ the only important parent is the Mum. But, also some of the behaviours of Yasmin’s AS depicted were improbable and inadequately researched as were their resolutions. And also, why would a dog drink from a toilet bowl... ? Wouldn’t it’s owner put a water bowl out for it? Why was this even in the book?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 10, 2023
This was a beautiful book. I adored all three main characters and the complexities that come from living with a sibling on the Autistic Spectrum.
It is not just Yasmin who has to deal with her autism but her older brother Asif and her older sister Lila. Following the death of their parents they all struggle in their own, completely unique ways, just trying to get on with their lives whilst coming to terms with their childhoods.
It may seem like, on the surface, Yasmin is the only one with a ‘condition’, but as the book progresses you can not only see things from her point of view but also how her siblings are not necessarily as neurotypical as they think they are.
I loved this, the writing was sublime and the fact Yasmin had her own chapters explaining what was going on in hr head and how she saw the world added to the texture of the family dynamic.
This book is an incredible read and would be a good book for anyone who may live with or know someone with autism as I think it would offer a great insight.
One of the best books I’ve read!
It is not just Yasmin who has to deal with her autism but her older brother Asif and her older sister Lila. Following the death of their parents they all struggle in their own, completely unique ways, just trying to get on with their lives whilst coming to terms with their childhoods.
It may seem like, on the surface, Yasmin is the only one with a ‘condition’, but as the book progresses you can not only see things from her point of view but also how her siblings are not necessarily as neurotypical as they think they are.
I loved this, the writing was sublime and the fact Yasmin had her own chapters explaining what was going on in hr head and how she saw the world added to the texture of the family dynamic.
This book is an incredible read and would be a good book for anyone who may live with or know someone with autism as I think it would offer a great insight.
One of the best books I’ve read!
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