The White Stone: The art of letting go

by Esther de Waal

Esther de Waal is one of today's most beloved spiritual writers. In The White Stone, she reflects on the changes and losses that come with growing older. Esther reflects on solitude and, following a period of illness, saying goodbye to a family home and the Welsh border landscape she had known for decades which inspired some of her greatest writing. In her characteristic style, she sees everything as a portal into a deeper spiritual understanding.

She draws on the wealth of the Christian tradition, especially scripture and the monastic and Celtic spiritualities she knows so well, to help her navigate her way through not only the inevitable sense of loss that accompanies such change, but also to embrace the new possibilities it brings. The white stone of the title refers to a small pebble from the river that ran through her garden that she keeps in her pocket, but also strikes a note of hope referring to the new identity promised by God (Revelation 2.17). This is a book of simple, profound wisdom that will speak to many coping with change in their own lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christianity, Spirituality, Autobiography

126 pages, Paperback

Published November 30, 2021

Reviews

[Cindy Rollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all need mentors, people who have gone before us a few paces. For me Esther is one of those people I trust to tell it to me straight while she firmly holds onto her faith. In this book we find her leaving what sounds like an idyllic cottage to move to a Senior apartment. Dreadful changes outwardly but the inward landscape flourishes.

[Harry Allagree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esther de Waal is no stranger to me. I've enjoyed reading at least four of her previous works. In 1991 I also had the pleasure of meeting her & conversing with her at some length at the Abbey of New Clairvaux in Vina, CA. At that time, Ms. de Waal was in her sixties & I, in my 50's (we're 7 years apart in age). Now we are, respectively, 92 and 85.

This is a beautful, thoughtful, helpful & "poetical" book. The author is an exceedingly loving & gentle person, and she exudes this trait in her writing. Above all, she has an admirably rock-strong personal faith. As a historian, her book is full of reminders & quotes on an encyclopedic number of places, events, and other writers and notable people. Using a small white stone (thus, the title) which she picked up from a brook in Herfordshire, an object she has carried with her through her final move from her Welsh cottage in the area of the Welsh Marches, & now in her new residence in Oxford. One of its many meanings for her is that of change & aging.

Ms. de Waal writes a wonderful "summary" of what she's about in writing this book; "I know that I have to let go as I age, for otherwise I shall be clinging to the past, and that will prevent the new, in whatever form that might take, coming to birth. Letting go has a hidden freedom in it, for surrendering is really a liberation, allowing me to live fully but differently...I have to face the fact, the price I pay as I am growing older...We may continue to cling to our past achievements or [in the words of Helen Luke] we may, in Shakespeare's words, 'take upon the mystery of things, as if we were God's spies'. A spy of God is one who penetrates into a hidden mystery -- one who finds the most trivial of things touched by wonder. Getting older makes me aware how amazing it is to have been alive in the first place!..."

Toward the end of her book Esther de Waal coomments: "I think of all those many people whom I have met on my journey and of what I owe to them, often not recognizing sufficently the role they have played in my life. Did I see Christ in them?..." As for me, dear Esther, it's I who thank you for our meeting in 1991 on both of our journies through life!

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Organized but gentle, slow, ambling, like a walk in the woods, deep breathing the pine-scented air. De Waal referenced a number of other writers, which has me reading and looking up some of those who have inspired her own worked.

This was a perfect book to start during daily life and finish during my silent retreat.

[Nick Ertz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short book is a perfect launching point for daily meditations. It is especially for those who are older and contemplating the end of life. Not tomorrow, but sometime in the future we must let go. This book holds these thoughts up for contemplation and consideration.

[Richard Frost · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always full of spiritual insights - and this time, given the stage of life she has reached, deeply personal.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esther de Waal is a highly regarded spiritual writer, Anglican, with roots in Wales, who published this book when she was 92 years old. Only 120 pages long, de Waal uses her Christian tradition - scripture, ritual, monasticism - and even some Celtic spirituality to traverse the loss that accompanied some difficult passages of her life.

The white stone of the title is one de Waal found in a river that ran through her garden in Herefordshire and carries in her pocket as a kind of talisman, a reminder of times past but also a connection to the future and a new identity promised in Revelations 2:17.

This is a wise book with much to teach about life and aging with grace.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Esther de Waal is one of my favorite spiritual writers. She writes a series of poignant meditations about having to leave her beloved house in the country as she reaches a more frail age of life, and moving into the city - perhaps a retirement community? I can't recall if she specifies. It's a book about loss, grace, and the difficulty but inevitability of change - with Benedict's Rule, the desert fathers and mothers, various poets and novelists, and little observations of life around her. Very English. Probably most enjoyable for other fans of de Waal.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Succinct and oh so deep without being difficult to comprehend ...

If you're "of a certain age", this book is helpful, calming, motivating...and a blessing.

[Tom Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life’s journey

Our journey of learning to let go of things in life and of life itself, walking by faith, may we end and be embraced in the love of Christ.