What's in It for Them?: 9 Genius Networking Principles to Get What You Want by Helping Others Get What They Want

by Joe Polish

When everyone around you is asking What’s in it for me? , Joe Polish—“the most connected person on the planet”—offers one simple question to change the conversation.

There’s no shortage of networking and entrepreneurship advice in books and on social media in today’s world—but it’s harder than ever to know what’s authentic. To make matters worse, taking the wrong advice can result in superficial connections, transactional relationships, and unsatisfying interactions with others without any real rapport.

Fortunately, as entrepreneur and marketer extraordinaire Joe Polish has discovered, there’s a simple (though sometimes not easy) way out that begins with one “What’s in it for them?”

In What’s in It for Them? , Polish faces the problem of personal and professional disconnection head-on, offering entrepreneurs a heart- and mind-expanding guide on how

· Deepen rapport and connect with others by identifying and reducing their suffering
· Update Dale Carnegie’s insights to win the right friends and influence the right people
· Overcome others’ intimidation tactics to find true appreciation in relationships
· Build character for better results than capabilities can ever give on their own
· Use basic marketing principles to find true love
· Protect your efforts from the “takers” of the world

And much more—all to help the givers of the world thrive in business without neglecting their relationships.

Early in life, Joe Polish’s struggles with trauma and addiction led him to a disconnected life. After getting sober in recovery, he spent years developing his genuine and generous approach to building rapport and transformed from a dead broke carpet cleaner to being dubbed “the most connected person on the planet” for his work with Genius Network, one of the world’s most impactful networking groups for high-achieving entrepreneurs.

After 30 years of putting his own advice into practice, Polish now speaks to audiences all around the world and is surrounded by business leaders and billionaires he calls friends. In What’s in It for Them? , he explains his one-of-a-kind approach to rapport-building he used to get there—and offers a few cautionary tales along the way.

Genres: Business, Personal Development, Nonfiction, Self Help, Leadership, Entrepreneurship, Communication

257 pages, Hardcover

Published November 1, 2022

Reviews

[Julia Bowen · Rating 2 out of 5]

My review of this goes against the grain, and is based solely on my opinion and perspective.

The information in this book can be extremely valuable, and as Joe himself emphasizes he does lead with value, ease and fun. My favourite pieces of advice come from the latter half of the book where he discusses showing up in person (I.e. in tune) with the people you are with, as well as the section on providing value as quickly as possible. I like the idea of moving things along immediately.

So why 2 stars?

Joe wrote the first half of the book encouraging people to be givers of themselves, to provide value up front and really listen to people. All good insights, but only for those who aren’t already expected to be that way.

As a woman in business, it is more often that I am expected to give, and thus any situation where I do is status quo. When boundaries are maintained, it’s seen as “bitchiness”. This is obviously not universal, but I use this to illustrate my point - this book only fits a certain subset of people. People in which giving will at least most of the time be recognized, and potentially reciprocated.

He touches on different personality types in later chapters, but to make this a truly universal book, I wished he would have considered other vantage points.

That being said, maybe this book wasn’t written for me, and that’s fine too.

[Lyndee Pfaffenbach · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some good strategies, reminders, and idea starters in here. But as an introvert, I find a lot of this second nature. It's missing the "how to talk to people in the first place" type advice. This jumps right in for when you are there. I'd recommend it to people who struggle with one on one connection, love to talk about themselves, and are ready to transform.

Maybe I didn't do enough of the work.

[Amber M Sherman · Rating 3 out of 5]

It reinforced some things I already knew, and put in practice, but can be unrelatable as he's owns a multi million dollar business and speaks about how he networks with big players who are also rich.
One piece of advice that was given was making yourself valuable and presenting that- which I understand can be what's needed to offer anyone anything to be able to help them. But if you're just starting out in a career or just out of college a lot of people will find they don't have much to offer. So this isn't a book for those just entering the workforce and trying to network right out of school

[Stephanie Thoma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Polish has an incredible backstory- I especially love the carpet business story, however, his dichotomy of distilling people into the category of giver or taker seemed more wounded than enlightened.

He brought up having a long deep history of being taken advantage of and overgiving, as well as his experience being vilified when he did have a season of putting his own needs first without regard for how that season of his was reflective of those he had harshly judged.
I appreciated the nuggets of wisdom in being of service to people first for foremost, but being met with stories of being "let down" and "seeing someone's true colors" when they perhaps had a moment of being human, rubbed me the wrong way. Other authors, like Adam Grant, also take this approach of good vs. bad, or givers vs. takers, and I don't buy into it- we all have the capacity for each in a networking setting and keeping score like this illustrates the transactional nature he states he is against.

I appreciated he discussed how genuine gratitude is something that can help differentiate between who is a giver and a taker, if you buy into that paradigm.

Everyone is deserving of connection and understanding, and while certain people may not jive well with our values, I think it's time we stop glamorizing those who give at their own expense or detriment, for the sake of being approved of and "useful" as he calls it.

[Kasim Aslam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple but not simplistic, amazing advice from and amazing man!

I just finished Joe Polish’s “What’s In It For Them” - what I expected to be a solid book on networking and maybe even a little self improvement over delivered by a multiple as a blueprint for living a more caring and giving life. I’ve been a fan of Joe’s for a long time and came in with high expectations. Even so, I was blown away by the care and value that Joe delivers. His spot as “the most connected man in the world” is obviously well earned. This book is a masterclass in empathy and human connection from a truly authentic voice. I can’t recommend it more highly!

[Paul Bard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joe shares his personal experience, with sophisticated questions, amazing honest stories, and a very rigourous formalisation into simple rules.

The rules won’t make you like Joe. The rules just express how Joe thinks. You have to do the work. And most people will not.

To be fair integrating this skill set may require becoming behaviourally similar to Joe or Dan. In other words, happy and connected.

Readers who don’t like it are perfectly welcome to feel right, but I don’t agree with them. It’s sophisticated, simple, and superb.

[Mark Manderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great quick read

Top takeaways

Be Transformative, not transactional
Look to add value and be a giver and creator.
SEND 5 TO 10 POSTCARDS OR NOTES EVERY DAY TO EXPAND YOUR NETWORK THROUGH APPRECIATION OR SOMETHING FUNNY
WHEN YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE AND YOU HAVE A MUTUAL FRIEND, TAKE A QUICK VIDEO SAYING HELLO AND SEND IT TO THEM SO THEY KNOW YOU’RE THINKING OF THEM
QUESTIONS TO KNOW
WHAT YOU HAVE THAT ARE VALUABLE TO OTHERS
WHAT CAN YOU OFFER WITH WHAT YOU HAVE
WHAT DONTHISE GET (RESULTS)
WHERE DO YOU NEED HELP

[D · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book about networking successfully, and sharing your knowledge with others, versus backstabbing and gatekeeping. It brings valuable lessons that someone could use at any job interview. I used to be terrified of job interviews until I realized that they did not value my perfectionism over my skill set for the job. Once I understood that I could pick learned skills or mastered skills from old jobs that were needed in the current one, I felt more confident and empowered. The pearls of wisdom that Joe Polish offers could help anyone in business, as well as other professions.

[MacKenzie Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would compare this to Dale Carnaige.
There are good takeaways, but truthfully the title is the entire thesis being repeated a ton.
What was missing? How did Polish put these principles in practice and move into these elite circles. How did he get from where he is to the next stage?!?
I’m on a journey to better optimize networking and making the most of the relationships I have. This was a decent read for that, but I’m sure there are even more actionable books.

[William Buss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read on how to go about developing better relationships and connections with people, both personally and professionally.
Has given me some perspective on changing how I approach my relationships, as I generally keep to myself and only communicate when communicated with. People probably won’t be as bothered as I internally think they will be.
Guides at the end of each chapter will be useful for quick reviews.

[Andrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sister asked me what book I was reading and then as a reflex I answered: Marketing. And I got the weirdest look. I'm not thinking of starting my own business nor am I working in marketing or do I really "network". But this book has been an enjoyable read and I must say I find myself having a more amateur equivalent to some stuff in the book. I find those actions totally validated haha. But overall if you're looking for a book to expand your ideas and think beyond what you know, pretty worthwhile.

[Edgar Gramajo · Rating 4 out of 5]

nice stories and advices

Basic idea of the book: what can you offer to others. Value? Time? Care? It depends from people to people. My biggest take away: I can connect with the people just to offer value to they needs. Everybody is suffering for something, if you can solve that for them, you will be a great connector.

[Jenny Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has really great inspirational advice and practical takeaways for your personal and business life. I loved all he mentioned about living in the moment, taking immediate action and creating value on the spot and being the person that someone would pick up the phone for. This is def a re-Read category book

[Jawad Charafeddine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some great actionable advice; aimed mostly towards interpersonal relationships rather than connections within a professional context. There is a lot of fluff and rambling about personal anecdotes in this book however, and a bulk of it screams like an advertisement for this dude's venture called "Genius Network." Did not care for his constant touting of the "network"

[Ginny Krouth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

When I pause an audio book to take notes - you know it's good.

Some people didn't like that he quoted other people - I love that he did that. I've read many books that don't give credit where credit it due.

Joe's authenticity is refreshing and it's inspiring to know that someone CAN lift themselves out of their circumstances.

[Dana Goosen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Omg this book was a pure struggle for me. I must be the wrong audience for it. When buying it, I was under illusion that it’s something that would help to understand client’s problem so we can be better in solving it, but sadly I was wrong. Not my cup of tea and I can’t see how I can use this information in my life.

[Ronald J. Pauleus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great principles.

“The specifics can change, but in virtually any situation, being useful, grateful, and valuable are the three keys to connecting with others – and they never depreciate or go out of style.”

[Merjan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Everything I underlined in this book were quotes/ideas from other people. You’d be better off reading any of those people’s books (which as a marketer, was maybe Polish’s real intention?) Lacked substance, a lot of self-flagellation, and generally extremely common sense “advice.”

[Matt Quirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly one of a kind business book that will help you in your daily life as well.

Joe knows his stuff about marketing, relationships, and so much more.

This book is value packed with actionable insights and even what to do to get started making a difference in your life and others lives.

[Conor Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was given this book by one of my bosses and probably would never have read it otherwise.

For a book about marketing and networking, it was pretty thoughtful and kind. Although I kind of think the advice was pretty surface level. I guess we’ll see if this helps my career.

[Garry Garsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my opinion, the train of thought, throughout, is too blunt. The stories are shallow. It almost feels as if written by a ghost writer, using an ai. There are some useful ideas, and personal revelations, but even they lack a spark. I was expecting more from legendary Joe Polish.

[Dan Dawson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trash

[Matthew Bennett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of good questions and good ideas - on networking, sales, and business. I like action steps, and this book gave me a lot of ideas for how to expand my network and keep in contact with people.

[Durgesh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just contains some common sense advices and famous quotes.
Best way to read this book is to read it in one go and focus more on questions & chap exercises.

[Radhames Nova · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the practical ways Joe describes ways to become a valuable assets to our network and, in doing so, gaining much more than we can ever give.

[Jennifer Martin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hate this.

[MindOverMatter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great listen while walking.
The author performs it himself and it is greatly performed.

The book singlehandedly solved all of my interpersonal issues and also confirmed a few tough decisions and choices I made for self-protection & boundary setting. Since Keith Ferrazzi's fantastic books, this is the best book on networking I've read. It is on the same if not even higher level. (At the end of the day it is unfair to compare, howeever, because usually things people do only become possible because of prior work of others who paved the way. Also, it's been a while that I read Keith Ferrazzi to be able to compare well.)

[Chris Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book just didn’t land with me. The idea of helping others is great but I took away few ideas and tools to leverage.

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this book 3.5 stars. It gives basic advice on networking. I found it a little off-putting when the author occasionally refers to his "Genius Network" business with membership starting at $25K. The book should be a standalone product. Then at the end, the author can pitch all his other products and services.

[Miles Hendrix · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made some good points about building rapport. A little redundant.