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Without Restraint: How Skiing Saved My Son's Life
As a child Ryan DeLena had difficulty controlling his emotional outbursts. This led to placement in therapeutic schools that relied on detrimental methods of behavior modification such as physical restraints.
Nothing helped from a team of doctors to heavy medication. Then in 2010, Ryan was voluntarily committed to a mental hospital for further evaluation. His parents Rob and Mary Beth were counseled to place him in a group home. They refused.
Two years earlier, after an impulsive decision Rob had to take Ryan skiing, he discovered a different child than the version experts were so sure about. By his second day of skiing, Ryan was executing advanced runs, and with each conquest in the winters that followed, Rob began to question the path laid for his son by the professionals paid to judge him. He later convinced Mary Beth to fight the medical and educational complexes over Ryan’s care and school placement, and together they fostered the freedom Ryan needed to pursue his dream of becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
Written in two voices, Without Restraint is a joint father-son memoir told with both pain and levity, struggle and strength, adventure and heart. It is the story of a misunderstood boy, a father’s growth, and a shared love of the outdoors that formed their unbreakable bond.
Nothing helped from a team of doctors to heavy medication. Then in 2010, Ryan was voluntarily committed to a mental hospital for further evaluation. His parents Rob and Mary Beth were counseled to place him in a group home. They refused.
Two years earlier, after an impulsive decision Rob had to take Ryan skiing, he discovered a different child than the version experts were so sure about. By his second day of skiing, Ryan was executing advanced runs, and with each conquest in the winters that followed, Rob began to question the path laid for his son by the professionals paid to judge him. He later convinced Mary Beth to fight the medical and educational complexes over Ryan’s care and school placement, and together they fostered the freedom Ryan needed to pursue his dream of becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
Written in two voices, Without Restraint is a joint father-son memoir told with both pain and levity, struggle and strength, adventure and heart. It is the story of a misunderstood boy, a father’s growth, and a shared love of the outdoors that formed their unbreakable bond.
280 pages, Hardcover
Published March 1, 2023
About the author
Robert C. Delena
2 books3 followersRobert C. DeLena was raised in Revere, MA, and is a graduate of The Governor’s Academy, Trinity College, and Northeastern University School of Law. After practicing law unhappily, he founded a small recruiting company and for over twenty years has advised law firms, lawyers, and law students on legal hiring. Rob lives in Sudbury, MA with his wife, Mary Beth, and their daughter, Abigail, who currently attends Hamilton College.
Rob spends time skiing with his son Ryan and the great friends he’s made during his journey from beginner to reluctant adventurer. He has skied all over the United States, internationally in Canada, Chile and Argentina, and even survived a backcountry expedition in Antarctica.
Rob spends time skiing with his son Ryan and the great friends he’s made during his journey from beginner to reluctant adventurer. He has skied all over the United States, internationally in Canada, Chile and Argentina, and even survived a backcountry expedition in Antarctica.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
February 20, 2023
Without Restraint offers a unique story of family and connections to nature. They tell of struggles growing up in the Northeast of the United States. Robert DeLena and his son, Ryan, need to overcome family and health issues. With two perspectives telling the story, they share their interviews with medical and sports professionals. Using skiing as an outlet to help health and relationships develops the story. They understand the idea of freedom from the walls of schools and hospitals.
The text images the horrific experiences of a child and his family agreeing to restraints, drugs, and other treatments. Robert details how the public school system confines families to fewer alternatives. So, they encounter unachievable ways. Which is why they head to the hills and ski. They travel and have fun.
Nature gives a place to everyone and the DeLilas discover nature offers everyone free movement. They find acceptance in themselves and others. As a way to breathe. Ryan continues to see another part of the world by going outside. It is a reminder to continue to do what gives us freedom. And continue to find acceptance. I hope people will use this story to inspire others to heal. Thank you to Net Galley and Falcon Guides for this advanced reader's copy.
The text images the horrific experiences of a child and his family agreeing to restraints, drugs, and other treatments. Robert details how the public school system confines families to fewer alternatives. So, they encounter unachievable ways. Which is why they head to the hills and ski. They travel and have fun.
Nature gives a place to everyone and the DeLilas discover nature offers everyone free movement. They find acceptance in themselves and others. As a way to breathe. Ryan continues to see another part of the world by going outside. It is a reminder to continue to do what gives us freedom. And continue to find acceptance. I hope people will use this story to inspire others to heal. Thank you to Net Galley and Falcon Guides for this advanced reader's copy.
March 19, 2023
This is one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read.
The parts that talk about an education system that truly failed a little boy and his family were heartbreaking.
The parts that chronicled the skiing adventures that provided an authentic learning opportunity for a child for whom schools had failed, had me mesmerized.
Together, this story will have you rethinking everything you think you know about how we label and mislabel anyone who doesn’t fit into a preconceived box.
The parts that talk about an education system that truly failed a little boy and his family were heartbreaking.
The parts that chronicled the skiing adventures that provided an authentic learning opportunity for a child for whom schools had failed, had me mesmerized.
Together, this story will have you rethinking everything you think you know about how we label and mislabel anyone who doesn’t fit into a preconceived box.
March 14, 2023
I just finished this wonderful book. Read it. It’s unflinching and raw and inspirational, as a lover of skiing, a parent and teacher of kids with challenges, it hit home. My two personal mantras are woven in its messages: “Don’t underestimate the power of finding something you love” and “Fortune favors the bold” (thanks @nccs). I could go on but read it for yourself!
January 12, 2025
Without Restraint deserves its place on your bookshelf along with the rest of the autobiographies of climbers and skiers born and raised in the heart of the Northeast. This book was written in a way that every reader can enjoy, filled with witty jokes from Rob, inspiration from Ryan, and many tear-jerking and raw realities of our nation's mental health and education system. I found this book incredibly inspirational and recommend it to anyone with children, entering the healthcare field, the education system, and anyone who is a fan of adventure. This book made me laugh out loud on numerous occasions and also made me angry and devastated to see how Ryan was pushed into so many mislabeled boxes before he could grow on his own and find his true calling in life to become a ski mountaineer. This book highlights the harsh realities of the world we live in, our world that prioritizes institutionalizing children over nurturing them. Ryan was very fortunate to come from a family that had the resources to allow him to thrive later in life; a loving and supportive family who pushed the education system, the financial freedom to enjoy activities such as skiing around the globe, and the opportunity to continue his education into college. Unfortunately, this is not the reality for many children struggling with behavioral issues and mental health across the U.S. as many end up institutionalized or in assisted living as adults. However, that does not say this book loses validity or is not relatable to others in similar situations as Ryan has been in. This book sparks a platform of conversation to make changes to our current corrupt system that pushes children into a box for the rest of their life instead of giving them the support they need to grow and thrive as adults. Ryan’s story is one that can change the lives of hundreds of other children for the better and I am excited to see where his journey as a ski mountaineer and educator takes him!
April 28, 2023
Unrestrained Resilience:
“Without Restraint” is a touching memoir co-authored by father and son, Rob and Ryan DeLena. Ryan, a child with emotional outbursts, was placed in therapeutic schools with harmful behaviour modification techniques. After years of no progress, Ryan was evaluated and suggested to be placed in a group home. However, after a skiing trip, Rob discovered Ryan’s talent and urged Mary Beth to fight for Ryan’s education and care. Together, they fostered Ryan’s passion for becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
I am impressed by the courage and resilience shown by Ryan and his family, who never gave up on him and found a way to help him pursue his dreams. The memoir is beautifully written, offering a unique perspective on their experiences. It is a heart-warming and inspiring story of a father’s unconditional love for his son and how their shared love for the outdoors helped them overcome obstacles and build an unbreakable bond. This book is a must-read for anyone who believes in the power of love, hope and perseverance.
“Without Restraint” is a touching memoir co-authored by father and son, Rob and Ryan DeLena. Ryan, a child with emotional outbursts, was placed in therapeutic schools with harmful behaviour modification techniques. After years of no progress, Ryan was evaluated and suggested to be placed in a group home. However, after a skiing trip, Rob discovered Ryan’s talent and urged Mary Beth to fight for Ryan’s education and care. Together, they fostered Ryan’s passion for becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
I am impressed by the courage and resilience shown by Ryan and his family, who never gave up on him and found a way to help him pursue his dreams. The memoir is beautifully written, offering a unique perspective on their experiences. It is a heart-warming and inspiring story of a father’s unconditional love for his son and how their shared love for the outdoors helped them overcome obstacles and build an unbreakable bond. This book is a must-read for anyone who believes in the power of love, hope and perseverance.
December 9, 2023
Full disclosure, this book is written by my brother-in-law and nephew so I am hardly an objective reviewer. That being said, I truly believe that I would have been captured by this riveting story of a family’s struggles regardless. There is so much of this narrative of which I was never aware. I’m sorry for all the heartache and suffering the whole DeLena family had to go through. I don’t think I can ever fully grasp what life was like for them during Ryan’s lowest points.
I’ve always been amazed by “Extreme Ryan’s” fearless exploits. This book really highlights his adventures. Rob’s struggles to try and keep up brings great levity to this book. I can definitely imagine the “F Bombs” being dropped in a heavy Boston accent as Rob tried to ascend the icy peaks in Antarctica. Such an engrossing read!
I’ve always been amazed by “Extreme Ryan’s” fearless exploits. This book really highlights his adventures. Rob’s struggles to try and keep up brings great levity to this book. I can definitely imagine the “F Bombs” being dropped in a heavy Boston accent as Rob tried to ascend the icy peaks in Antarctica. Such an engrossing read!
March 3, 2023
Exceptionally well written. Difficult to put down.
Without Restraint demonstrates how the confines of society can be escaped through a rooted passion like skiing.
It offers a unique perspective on how a child who society labels as "different" becomes a professional ski mountaineer who is an inspiration for many (including myself).
I recommend this book to anyone who feels as if their life projections will all end in failure.
Furthermore, I would strongly recommend this book to parents who's children's passions are bounded.
Lastly, I recommend this book to people like myself, who are avid skiers and have a goal of following in the footsteps of Ryan and becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
Without Restraint demonstrates how the confines of society can be escaped through a rooted passion like skiing.
It offers a unique perspective on how a child who society labels as "different" becomes a professional ski mountaineer who is an inspiration for many (including myself).
I recommend this book to anyone who feels as if their life projections will all end in failure.
Furthermore, I would strongly recommend this book to parents who's children's passions are bounded.
Lastly, I recommend this book to people like myself, who are avid skiers and have a goal of following in the footsteps of Ryan and becoming a professional ski mountaineer.
March 5, 2024
This should be a must-read for anyone who has worked in public education, especially with a special-needs population. However, any parent or ski enthusiast will also get a ton out of this inspiring story of struggle and perseverance. Anyone who has ever been at a loss for how to connect with another person will relate to this father/son memoir. Peppered throughout the text are stories of learning from failure and personal reflection that should appeal to anyone who has a modicum of introspection. In no way is this book preachy or accusing to the reader, but it does give permission to trust your gut and adjust your sails especially when staying the course is too much.
April 30, 2023
I highly recommend this book for any family member or friend dealing with a young child who is on the spectrum. I found both writers, the father and so, so we’ll informed about the topic. It’s so well researched and well written. The adventure stories that are so important to this book were thrilling. I’m an avid skier and learned so much from Rob and Ryan’s adventures. It’s heart rendering to see the family work closely together to make Ryan whole. So inspiring! Great read! Barbara Lagorio
April 6, 2023
This is an incredible story of determination and perseverance in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Rob and Ryan skillfully weave together a tale of early heartache and regret that is ultimately superseded by truly remarkable achievements. They are both talented writers who share their story with humility, self-awareness, and laugh-out-loud humor.
October 21, 2023
Great read! Awesome read from a father and son perspective! Should be recommended for every Special Education Department as well as Department of Child and Family Services.
Ryan you rock! Rob you are an exceptional father!
Ryan you rock! Rob you are an exceptional father!
November 13, 2024
I felt all the emotions reading this book.
The bond between Rob and Ryan is one that is enviable. I am so happy that "Extreme Ryan's" family never gave up on him and advocated so hard for his education.
The bond between Rob and Ryan is one that is enviable. I am so happy that "Extreme Ryan's" family never gave up on him and advocated so hard for his education.
March 3, 2023
Highly recommend
March 20, 2023
Awesome book. The down to earth nature of the authors is clear.
March 31, 2023
A must read! This book is very powerful, meaningful, emotional, inspirational, and overall and incredible true story. I really liked reading both Ryan and his father Robert’s side of the story!
March 3, 2023
This is a MUST read! Once I started, I couldn’t put the book down. It is an engaging and heartfelt memoir about a small child labeled within the mental health system, and how he was treated because of it.
I found the story to be both informative and shocking. I never knew small children could be restrained in the way it is described in this book. But once I did more research, I also learned how it is allowed in most schools around the country.
The father/son duo will take you on a journey where you will feel almost as if you are at their side as they travel to remote areas of the world. And they share with you how skiing became an alternative method for successfully handling behavioral issues.
This book is well written, thoughtful and inspirational. There is something inside for everyone; parents, children, adventurers, avid skiers and the list goes on. Read this book. You won’t regret it.
I found the story to be both informative and shocking. I never knew small children could be restrained in the way it is described in this book. But once I did more research, I also learned how it is allowed in most schools around the country.
The father/son duo will take you on a journey where you will feel almost as if you are at their side as they travel to remote areas of the world. And they share with you how skiing became an alternative method for successfully handling behavioral issues.
This book is well written, thoughtful and inspirational. There is something inside for everyone; parents, children, adventurers, avid skiers and the list goes on. Read this book. You won’t regret it.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews