The Silence That Binds Us

by Joanna Ho

Maybelline Chen isn't the Chinese Taiwanese American daughter her mother expects her to be. May prefers hoodies over dresses and wants to become a writer. When asked, her mom can't come up with one specific reason for why she's proud of her only daughter. May's beloved brother, Danny, on the other hand, has just been admitted to Princeton. But Danny secretly struggles with depression, and when he dies by suicide, May's world is shattered.

In the aftermath, racist accusations are hurled against May's parents for putting too much "pressure" on him. May's father tells her to keep her head down. Instead, May challenges these ugly stereotypes through her writing. Yet the consequences of speaking out run much deeper than anyone could foresee. Who gets to tell our stories, and who gets silenced? It's up to May to take back the narrative.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Fiction, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook, Romance

448 pages, Paperback

First published June 14, 2022

About the author

Joanna Ho Bradshaw is the author of Eyes that Kiss in the Corners (HarperCollins, Jan 2021), Playing at the Border: A Story of Yo-Yo Ma (HarperCollins, Fall 2021), and One Day (Winter 2023). She is a writer and educator with a passion for anti-bias, anti-racism and equity work. She holds a BA in psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, and a master’s from the Principal Leadership Institute at Berkeley. She has been an English teacher, a dean, the designer of an alternative-to-prison program, and a professional development mastermind. She is currently the vice principal of a high school in the Bay Area, where she survives on homemade chocolate chip cookies, outdoor adventures, and dance parties with her kids. Keep your eyes open for more books to come!

Reviews

[jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

came for the cover, but stayed for the story.

and i knew picking this up that it would be heavy and not the light/fluffy YA contemporary that i usually go for. but i honestly was not prepared for how in-depth this would go when it comes to social commentary and the political climate in the US.

and let me tell you - this book got me heated. sooo many racist characters who turn trauma into talking points and justification for obscene behaviour. i had to put this down so many times because of how angry i got. but the thing is, this is just a story for me, but for some many others this is reality. its totally my white privilege that i could simply walk away from these feelings of anger when so many actual people dont have that luxury. they have to live with similar injustices day in and day out. and i think this story does a great job at highlighting just how systemically prejudiced the US is, even at the local school level.

so a very powerful and meaningful story, one that i think all teenagers (and adults) should read.

↠ 3.5 stars

[zuza_zaksiazkowane · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5* A superbly written and sensitively approached exploration of mental health, generational trauma, systemic racism, elitism, grief and the varying ways different communities experience racism, The Silence That Binds Us is a truly moving YA debut.

I found myself completely absorbed in the story and so very attached to the characters. From May and Danny's beautiful sibling relationship, to her friendship with Tiya and Marc, to her complex yet different relationships with her parents, the various relationships featured in this book were portrayed beautifully with nuance and honesty. The discussions surrounding mental health were raw and un-sugarcoated, whilst at no point being trivialised or sensationalised. Ho also does a great job at exploring anti-Asian and dismantling racist stereotypes, whilst also discussing racism directed at the Black community and the difference between the two experiences.

Overall, this is a heartbreaking and beautifully written story with relationships that left my eyes glassy with tears and my heart filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions and eyes glassy with tears. Basically, I adored this book and am now incredibly excited about what Joanna Ho will write next.

[Janssen · Rating 4 out of 5]

DANG she can write.

[Fanna]

July 30, 2020: Chinese-American representation! "challenges racism and ugly stereotypes"? I'm all here for this debut YA novel.

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unpopular opinion, I wanted to like this book more, but I didn't.

The Silence That Binds Us explores mental health, trauma, and grief. In the first few chapters, the book felt raw and profound. I felt like I was feeling the character's emotions when they found out their sibling/child had committed suicide. When characters felt guilty and wished they'd known he was depressed, those parts felt authentic and deep.

As I continued through the book, the pacing became slow. I felt like the story was repeating itself and wasn't going anywhere.

[Joce (squibblesreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so fucking good. It’ll probably be one of my favorite releases of 2022. Thanks so much to the publisher for an ARC!

[steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

The exploration of legacy, mental health, generational trauma and grief was done well but I can't say the same about the pacing of the chapters. It felt disjointed in a way, and the writing was a little clunky in places too. Overall, it could've been better but it wasn't too terrible either

[Xia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 5/5 ⭐️

Read if you like:
- Contemporary fiction
- Racism discussions through a YA lens
- Beautiful prose

TW: Loss of a loved one, grief, racism

Review:
When May Chen loses her brother Danny to suicide, her entire world shifts. Soon after, May's family receives racist accusations for putting too much "pressure" on Danny. But May and her parents have different ways of challenging this. May wants to take back the narrative but her parents want her to keep her head low. This book is one of the most unique books I've read. I cried probably 20 times reading this book. But it wasn't a heartbreaking cry everytime. Sometimes it was because the author's words cut through so much of my own thoughts as well.

While this book centres around grief, the overarching theme is one of hope and advocacy. Racism, legacy, and multigenerational trauma are explored in this book through various lenses. The storytelling is beautiful and three dimensional. Each character shares stories of grief through prose, art, and passion. As a Chinese-Canadian diaspora, I related to this more, being able to see the values that my own parents hold that differ from my own. The pacing of the chapters makes this book even more beautiful - Joanna Ho weaves May's poetry into the story creating a blend of art and storytelling.

The leitmotif of silence appears throughout the book but the meaning of this word develops as the characters develop. The silence that binds this community together becomes one that creates a space for conversation and understanding. I urge you to read this book.

[Megan Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Not only are all the expressions of grief and the unique kind of grief that is specifically created by suicide spot-on (I know from experience) --- and I liked the writing format where bits of verse were interspersed throughout the prose, too --- but the messages to do with racism and #TakeBackTheNarrative totally fit in with the other YA BIPOC and Asian American novels that I've read in the past couple of years, and it is also so true that the lit themes pertain to deep-rooted issues which still very much exist today.

All of the messages on family, memories of loved ones, and forever love touched my heart. All of the characters are vivid and distinct, and I love, too, the smaller messages on the value of the arts and of sharing one's own story with the world. I like to dream that books like this could inspire people to stop saying, "It's not my problem; it doesn't concern me." But...maybe I'm just being too hopeful like May partway through the book. This world and the people in it are very stubborn, to say the least.

No matter whether that will happen or not, I just wanted to say that I've been proud and honoured to be on the ARC team for this book. It's so good!!, and I'd definitely recommend it to others. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"Hugging him is like finding the perfect avocado..."
"...The sun [is] rolling up its blankets and getting tucked into bed."
"Why does it have to take death for people to care?"
"I know silence from the heavens doesn't mean you're not there. I just need to listen differently now."

[Koalathebear Koalathebear · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high expectations given all the other reviews and I really wanted to like this book but did not care for it at all...

As a Chinese -Vietnamese Australian I had hoped for more depth but it came across as rather superficial, forcedly woke and a bit of a hot mess.

I didn't like May as a character, her poetry/prose was ...bad rather than moving. Her activism and hostility towards people like her former friend Josh seemed forced and I cringed a little at the #takebackthenarrative and "just listen" lines...

I know my views won't be popular but I guess I just felt disappointed...

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book took a long time for me to listen to--as a teacher, I experienced a situation not totally dissimilar to this in the student population, and it felt so heavy and difficult to grieve alongside Maybelline. But this story is going to be one of the most important, special books I've read in years.

1. Maybelline's family and friends felt incredibly real. I also have a different relationship to May's mom's specific situation based on my own professional experience recently. I especially valued the tenderness and authenticity of the connection between May and her brother. Anyone with siblings will really resonate with the specificity, joy, and pain of having a sibling (and a sibling who dies so tragically).

2. I taught for three years in the Bay Area and this year will be my 14th year in education. So many of these scenarios and students are similar to what I've seen, and this story in particular *needs* to be told, for so many reasons.

3. Maybelline's consciousness-raising, especially at the Black Student Union meeting, was so important for teens to read. Perhaps some will say May is *too* perfect in this instance, and that her awakening is too predictable... but I still think it was an important model for discussion and for processing, as well as an important reminder for (especially white) adult readers on the urgency around being better listeners.

4. I think some of the references will be outdated for today's teens (the Hamilton reference and the reference to now-somewhat-problematic BLM founders), but I can confirm as someone who still hangs out with teens, these aren't completely off base.

5. I'm curious what folks will think of the Josh character - I haven't quite decided how I feel about him. I do think the ambiguity around his intent as well as Eva's intent is also important fodder for discussion and really kept me reading/interested.

Overall, I cried a LOT while reading this book but was incredibly moved by it. It's a must read!

[kamila.czyta · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,75/5 naprawdę fajna młodzieżówka

[Hsinju Chen]

I picked up this book because I loved the author's Eyes that Kiss in the Corners. Going in, I did not know how heart-wrenching this YA contemporary novel is going to be. Upon finishing, I wonder why this book hasn't blown up on social media. It did such a good job at weaving various themes together in a very sad but still hopeful story.

The silence that binds the Chens is the suicide of high school senior Danny Chen. The silence that binds the community is the inaction against power. The Silence That Binds Us is a story about fighting back against anti-Asian racism, de-stigmatizing discussion of mental health, and healing when everything seems to be falling apart.

The book has a whopping 78 chapters, not including the epilogue. It feels a little experimental in terms of the chapter formatting (in a good way), but for the most part, it's prose fiction. There were times where the writing reads like a middle grade book. The book predominantly talks about anti-Asian racism and to some extent racism against the Black community, and everything is spelled out clearly. It's an approachable story for readers to discuss and reflect on the world around us. It centers (mostly) the main character Maybelline Chen, who learns throughout processing her grief as well as fighting back not only for her family, but against the larger power of white supremacy.

This is all to say that I'm glad I read The Silence That Binds Us, and more people should read it.

content warnings: suicide, depression, loss of family members, microaggression, police brutality, racism (anti-Asian and anti-Black), grief, underage drinking, victim blaming, manipulation, gang violence, mentions of gun, mentions of homophobia

[Stephanie Fitzgerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come; I’m having a book hangover right now.

[Anindita ლ · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be honest, if you want to read this book I suggest when you really have a stable mental health and ready with all possibility that might occur since it's include suicide, racism, mentality, depression, family conflict, cultural differences, everyday struggles in school/social outside, grieving and so on.

The main focus in the story about both suicide and anti Asian racism and pretty much sums it up how severe it is. the whole time I was really boil up with in-justice and those so many freaking racist characters that I really ughhh I feel like I want to cut all them off.

A very complex story yet relationship with parents and sibling is the only beautiful things in the story I rooting for. the author is really done a very good job examining anti-Asian prejudice, eradicating racist stereotypes.

A very heartbreaking story done in very beautiful way. this story is not for everyone but I hope anyone who reads this book can understand that every person no matter what color, ethnicities, country, etc every single person in this world is deserve to live and get treating equal.

For someone there right now who is struggle, don't worry everything will be fine and keep strong because there will a rainbow after rain :)

[Dr. Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

Damn this book was really powerful. It address mental illness/health, suicide and racism in one story and in a way that felt realistic and uplifting. Did I cry at the end, just a little 🥹.

Rep: Taiwanese-American cishet female MC, Taiwanese-American side characters, Black cishet male side character, Black cis female side character, Chinese-American side character, various white side characters, queer couple mentioned.
CWs: Racism, grief, death, suicide, mental illness (depression), xenophobia, racial slurs, violence, bullying, child death, alcohol consumption, gaslighting. Minor: Gun violence, cancer mention, general queerphobia/queermisia, sexual assault, vomit, police brutality, classism.

[Sofiya · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars!

I think this is a wonderful 5-star read for a middle schooler to read at school. I feel like it would prompt class discussions on racism (both towards Black people and Asians), standing up for what is right, mental health, and grief.

Personally, the book was just too juvenile, and it did not necessarily give me much new insight, since the themes are consistent with all the other similar books I have read before. Also, I think the family dynamic situation made it feel fake. Maybe it’s just me, but May and Danny are extremely close-knit siblings and so are Tiya and Marc. No conflict between them, it felt unrealistic and almost fairytale-like, so it threw me off a bit. I mean good for them, but I have never seen 2 pairs of siblings that act like that, especially so close in age?? Maybe they’re just built different.

In terms of the actual story and message- I think that was the strength of the book. To understand and see the experiences of racism from other people’s perspectives, to really see white privilege for what it is. These messages and themes were conveyed in an easy to understand manner, especially for a younger audience. There were parts where it was emotional, and I think it was just the right balance of sad-happy-activism-angry with a sprinkle of romance.

I do want to shoutout to Ms. Daniels, she was a star teacher in this book. Love her and her relationships she has with her students and the trust they have in each other. All teachers should be like her!

[PErvOL Books]

No inaczej nie mogło być.....Japierdole....Jak ta ksiązka jest niedoceniana....Powinna być viralem, jeśli chodzi o literaturę młodzieżową....Bardzo rzutująca i rozpatrująca mechanizmy podejścia do systemów i ich egzekwowania i tego, czy on faktycznie nam służy i jak przede wszystkim jest eksploatowany, co z tego wynika i jak próbując nawet z nim walczyć trudno w niego się nie wgryzać.... Do tego kwestia podejścia do ukracania przez system różnych peryferii i jednostek i przez to odbieranie im adekwatności oraz to, jak ten sam mechanizm odbierania jej może być różnie rzutujący i w pewnym sensie trudny do wyegzekwowania i tego, jak trudno nawet walcząc z nim obrać autentyczność tak, by była powiązana z aureolą potrzeb...Ogromnie ciężka i jedna z najważniejszych książek w moim życiu...

[Kerstin Rosero · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Silence That Binds Us is a YA contemporary novel about a Chinese Taiwanese American teenager whose family deals with grief and the underlying racism they must face when tragedy strikes and unsettles an entire community. The premise resonated with me a lot as a fellow Asian American, especially when I think back to my teenage years.

It is something a lot of minorities can relate to quite well: something bad happens to us, but in the end, somehow, we are to blame for it. In this case, the book deals with a family who loses a loved one to depression, but for some bizarre reason, a rich parent decides to blame the family and the Asian community itself, for "putting so much pressure" on their kids and "making it impossible for other kids to compete." Of course, neglecting that rich dad foots the bill for his kid's extra lessons, extracurriculars, and internships. But, logic is subjective, I guess.

(I'm salty about this, because something similar happened at my high school... which is also in the Bay Area, lol)

What I respected about this book was that yes, it definitely touches upon the grief of losing a loved one, but also acknowledges the grief of having one's identity torn apart to benefit the status quo. It's not something I see a lot of in YA books, or explored to at this level. It goes into the model minority myth and allyship with other communities; some of it wasn't introduced smoothly, but we have not yet reached a point where these things are a given. In this regard, I have a lot of patience for info chunks. People who are already familiar with these concepts can skim, but those who don't can learn a lot.

I also liked that the MC, May, is Taiwanese American, but acknowledges her own shortcomings when dealing with racism. I can't say any more without spoiling, but it was nice that it was a learning experience (and curve!) for her as well.

Key words to help you decide: YA contemporary, family, Asian American MC, single (first-person) POV, high school, dealing with tragedy, grief, racism, San Francisco Bay Area, battling stereotypes

[Lyn *Nomadic Worlds · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, that cover is absolutely apt for this book. It was what drew me to it. I have anxiety and depression and sometimes it feels like I’m drowning and the surface feels too far away. This cover emphasized that and resonated with me.

Maybelline’s brother was the perfect one, who had his life all figured out, who he wanted to be, where he wanted to go to college whereas Maybelline can’t seem to get her mother’s approval for even one achievement. Then the unthinkable happens and Danny takes his own life, leaving May and her family reeling in the aftermath.

The author’s writing was exceptional. She did a remarkable job emphasizing and showing difficult issues such as mental health and racism. I liked that she didn’t just focus on Asian but Black people and the ignorance of others over the prejudice they have to endure.

Best of all, you could see May’s character growth as she fell down and picked herself back up, how she learned to see the world as it was and not how she wanted it to be. And you couldn’t help but love Tiya, Marc, Hugh, and Celeste.

The emotions in the story surged through and had a huge impact on me. The grief and the guilt, the sibling love between May and Danny, the friendships, that glimmer of hope at the end. And there were scenes that ripped your heart out and left you in tears.

The fact that the author could pull these powerful emotions in me says it all. This is by no means an easy story, with powerful scenes that will change you forever. And that is exactly why you need to read it.

Thanks to HarperCollins Canada for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Stay tuned.

∼Lyn

Posted on Nomadic Worlds

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

When her brother, Danny, takes his own life, his sister, Maybelline struggles to deal with the racist accusations launched against her Chinese Taiwanese American family by a parent from her high school. May, reeling from her incredible loss, is now stunned to realize that Asians are being blamed for not only Danny's suicide, but the four previous suicides over the past year and a half between the two high schools in her area. As more parents speak about the amount of pressure and stress Asians place on their children, May, moved by anger and preserving Danny's memory, responds with a poem which is published by the local newspaper. As a string of events begin to unravel after her poem is printed, May is confronted with the truth of racism; what it means, how it is displayed, how others are affected and the direct impact it may have on her family. How far is she willing to go to stop the accusations? What is she willing to sacrifice to have her voice heard?

I would not recommend this book for young readers, as there are several instances of bad language, alcohol use by minors, and racial content that may be misunderstood. There are many sections in the book negatively referencing "the rich, white man" and "changing the narrative." Mentions of history being rewritten and falsified are also included. Although this book takes a look inside of all types of racism, it directly attacks the white race.

I would categorize this book as one that should be read with a parent instead of the classroom so that mature and controlled conversations can occur. It is a difficult read, with a few terms that I was unfamiliar with, that reference race-related issues.

[Christina Hallman · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book that explains the affect on micro aggressions that many in the Asia and Black -American communities face, this is the book to read . It is a true look at how white rich do not understand their privilege but it is told not in a preaching way. It shows the struggle to be silent or to rebel in a heart wrenching story.
May ‘s brother seemed to have it all, popularly, head of the basketball team and got on the waiting list to Stanford (his ideal school) but was accepted to Princeton. It looks like Danny has it all but one night he commits suicide. The Chen family are left with pain and unanswered questions. When local business man states that all kids where under pressure because of the Asia population and their Tiger Moms- May uses her skill of poetry to fight back. What is the cost of speaking out against the rich white power? Her mom’s job security, her family being humiliated? When her best friend (black family) comes to comfort, May learns what it is the BLM movement is truly about and how together all minorities need to take back the narrative and show that history has been white-washed enough! Love this book!

[Patrik Bystrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been told by a dear friend that I tend to be unfairly harsh in my reviews of YA novels and I can see that, so now I err on the side of generosity instead.

In its genre, this was a great read. At times overly didactic and ‘complete’ but again that’s appropriate for this age group. I like how this book investigates the plight of multiple POC groups even though the complexity of life for Asian Americans is at the forefront.

It is similar to, but more digestible than Amy Tan novels and more nuanced than The Hate U give, or Looking for Alibrandi, while also exploring some of the demands of today’s culture and how hard it is to be young today.

[Natalie M · Rating 5 out of 5]

An intricate novel taking readers through issues of mental health, racism, stereotyping and young adulthood, with a contemporary societal backdrop.

A significant but sensitively written contemporary novel of a family dealing with the suicide of their high achieving son/brother. Amid this devastation, readers are able to feel the complexities of being a family who are seen as foreigners in their country.

So much to unpack with this read. Far more a contemporary novel than a YA (and would only recommend to a much older YA audience too).

Emotionally, morally and socially charged!

[Barb reads......it ALL! · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will stay with me for a long time. It's themes of grief, racism, the mother/daughter dynamic, friendship blend to create an important book.
I have a culturally diverse family, each and everyone I love like crazy. But this booked challenged me to re-examine myself.
Should be required reading.

[uncanny_valley_girl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dnf at idek where.

My friend sent me the synopsis of this, told me she was buying it, and of course it sounded good so I checked it out from the library. It was just too slowly paced for me.

[Kristi C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This YA book was an emotional ride full of heavy topics. I thought it was well-written, and I felt connected to the characters, storyline, and setting.

[Ashley Gravel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Loved it from the beginning, when there were glimpses of Mommy issues, all the way to the end, where students taught adults.

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a heart wrenching book - brought all the more real as my group of g6 mentor students vied to tell me how one or another Ivy or Oxbridge university was on their kong term goal list. They’re 11 years old and scared to fail at anything just in case.
With 2 adult children I distinctly remember the moment my goals as a parent shifted from getting them through school with good enough grades to enter a university & program of their choice to getting them through school alive & still on speaking terms with the family.
A deftly spun story for YA that needs to be read by adults too.