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Dear Dana: That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter
When Amy Daughters reconnected with her old pal Dana on Facebook, she had no idea how it would change her life. Though the two women hadn’t had any contact in thirty years, it didn’t take them long to catch up—and when Amy learned that Dana’s son Parker was doing a second stint at St. Jude battling cancer, she was suddenly inspired to begin writing the pair weekly letters.
When Parker died, Amy—not knowing what else to do—continued to write Dana. Eventually, Dana wrote back, and the two became pen pals, sharing things through the mail that they had never shared before. The richness of the experience left Amy wondering something: If my life could be so changed by someone I considered “just a Facebook friend,” what would happen if I wrote all my Facebook friends a letter?
A whopping 580 handwritten letters later Amy’s life, and most of all her heart, would never, ever, be the same again. As it turned out, there were actual individuals living very real lives behind each social media profile, and she was beautifully connected to each of those extraordinary, flawed people for a specific reason. They loved her, and she loved them. And nothing—not politics, beliefs, or lifestyle—could separate them.
When Parker died, Amy—not knowing what else to do—continued to write Dana. Eventually, Dana wrote back, and the two became pen pals, sharing things through the mail that they had never shared before. The richness of the experience left Amy wondering something: If my life could be so changed by someone I considered “just a Facebook friend,” what would happen if I wrote all my Facebook friends a letter?
A whopping 580 handwritten letters later Amy’s life, and most of all her heart, would never, ever, be the same again. As it turned out, there were actual individuals living very real lives behind each social media profile, and she was beautifully connected to each of those extraordinary, flawed people for a specific reason. They loved her, and she loved them. And nothing—not politics, beliefs, or lifestyle—could separate them.
310 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 17, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
August 23, 2022
2.5 stars. Ugh. Not for me. So, I love the high-concept premise of this non-fiction title, because who doesn't wish they had the time to write "real" letters, and who doesn't love to receive them? So, great concept, not so great execution. In short, she wrote a hand-written letter to all 580 of her Facebook friends. The book documents the project.
I'm going to be super honest and say that the author's religiosity was an issue for me. There was a reference to religion and/or praying on almost every single page of this book. The author writes phrases like "BFFs with Jesus" with, presumably, a straight face. Let me be clear--there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, her faith and prayer gave great comfort to a grieving family, and you'd have to be considerably more horrible than me to criticize that. But I'm a secular Jew. In-your-face Christianity is just highly off-putting to me. So, that's just my issue as a Godless heathen. The truth is, I read books set in every exotic culture in the world, and I actively embrace the unfamiliar. I don't know why reading about American Christians is so much less palatable, but I suspect it has a lot to do with the guy shouting at me from the street corner the other day.
My own prejudices aside, 84 Charing Cross Road this was not. The author of that book was so freakin' witty and urbane, and the relationships that developed through that web of correspondence shone through their letters. Every single thing about this author was just very, very ordinary. Her definitions of "outrageous" and "ridiculous" are a lot tamer than my own. She is not a gifted writer. Her prose was a slog. Her many, many references to tears were, I guess, meant to be short-hand for anything approaching real emotion. Likewise, references to "hilarity" stood in for actual humor. And, oh my God, what's the limit for the number of times you can use the word "shenanigans" in a single book? Let me tell you, she exceeded it.
I have no doubt that Ms. Daughters is a very nice lady with good intentions. I'm equally sure that the hundreds of letters she sent to friends, family, and barely acquaintances made their day. Alas, her book about the project did not make mine. Your mileage may vary.
I'm going to be super honest and say that the author's religiosity was an issue for me. There was a reference to religion and/or praying on almost every single page of this book. The author writes phrases like "BFFs with Jesus" with, presumably, a straight face. Let me be clear--there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, her faith and prayer gave great comfort to a grieving family, and you'd have to be considerably more horrible than me to criticize that. But I'm a secular Jew. In-your-face Christianity is just highly off-putting to me. So, that's just my issue as a Godless heathen. The truth is, I read books set in every exotic culture in the world, and I actively embrace the unfamiliar. I don't know why reading about American Christians is so much less palatable, but I suspect it has a lot to do with the guy shouting at me from the street corner the other day.
My own prejudices aside, 84 Charing Cross Road this was not. The author of that book was so freakin' witty and urbane, and the relationships that developed through that web of correspondence shone through their letters. Every single thing about this author was just very, very ordinary. Her definitions of "outrageous" and "ridiculous" are a lot tamer than my own. She is not a gifted writer. Her prose was a slog. Her many, many references to tears were, I guess, meant to be short-hand for anything approaching real emotion. Likewise, references to "hilarity" stood in for actual humor. And, oh my God, what's the limit for the number of times you can use the word "shenanigans" in a single book? Let me tell you, she exceeded it.
I have no doubt that Ms. Daughters is a very nice lady with good intentions. I'm equally sure that the hundreds of letters she sent to friends, family, and barely acquaintances made their day. Alas, her book about the project did not make mine. Your mileage may vary.
October 19, 2022
3.5 stars
This was a fabulous idea, to send letters and connect with each of her Facebook friends. There were some very powerful experiences and it made me think a lot about my life, my relationships, and my use of social media. Despite this, the book was too repetitive, with the author coming to nearly the same conclusion after writing each letter. And the incessant hashtagging, read on the audiobook, nearly drove me to insanity. #srsly. I heard about this book on a radio show and I think most of the good parts were covered in the show.
This was a fabulous idea, to send letters and connect with each of her Facebook friends. There were some very powerful experiences and it made me think a lot about my life, my relationships, and my use of social media. Despite this, the book was too repetitive, with the author coming to nearly the same conclusion after writing each letter. And the incessant hashtagging, read on the audiobook, nearly drove me to insanity. #srsly. I heard about this book on a radio show and I think most of the good parts were covered in the show.
May 5, 2022
Amy Weinland Daughters reconnected on Facebook with one of her camp friends that made an impact on her over 30 years ago. Amy learned that her friend Dana's son was going through cancer treatment and wanted to connect with her on a more personal level than Facebook comments or likes. Amy sat down to write her a letter but realized she didn't have her address. Amy started to wonder what being a Facebook friend meant. When Dana's son Parker died, Amy continued to write Dana letters to support her in a more meaningful way. These letters made Amy wonder what would happen if she wrote all 580 of her Facebook friends a handwritten letter, no matter how awkward or tenuous the relationship.
Dear Dana is a humorous and heartwarming memoir about a task combining contemporary relationships on Facebook with the lost art of letter writing to dig deep into the meaning of friendship. I loved Amy's forthright and honest style of writing about her letter writing adventure as well as her sense of humor. I could relate to Amy wanting to reach out to an old friend in a time of need and have often seen people on Facebook going through a hard time, I applaud her bravery and #CONSTANT help. Religion is a big part of Amy's life and while this aspect didn't resonate with me, I did appreciate her new forged relationship with Dana. I also loved how many of her letters found people in their time of need. Through her letter writing Amy discovered what it means to be a friend and connect with people on a personal level. I enjoyed seeing how many people felt more comfortable sharing personal things in written form and revealing that everything may not be as it seems online. Amy's journey was insightful on many levels and while I don't think I'll be writing letters to all of my Facebook friends anytime soon, I am more encouraged to reach out to those in need in letter form.
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.
Dear Dana is a humorous and heartwarming memoir about a task combining contemporary relationships on Facebook with the lost art of letter writing to dig deep into the meaning of friendship. I loved Amy's forthright and honest style of writing about her letter writing adventure as well as her sense of humor. I could relate to Amy wanting to reach out to an old friend in a time of need and have often seen people on Facebook going through a hard time, I applaud her bravery and #CONSTANT help. Religion is a big part of Amy's life and while this aspect didn't resonate with me, I did appreciate her new forged relationship with Dana. I also loved how many of her letters found people in their time of need. Through her letter writing Amy discovered what it means to be a friend and connect with people on a personal level. I enjoyed seeing how many people felt more comfortable sharing personal things in written form and revealing that everything may not be as it seems online. Amy's journey was insightful on many levels and while I don't think I'll be writing letters to all of my Facebook friends anytime soon, I am more encouraged to reach out to those in need in letter form.
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.
June 8, 2023
Hard book to review. The concept is so amazing. I adore the concept, and the author seems like a cool person I’d probably enjoy meeting.
That said, I didn’t find the book, particularly well written. I think it could’ve used some editing as it is quite repetitive. For those who aren’t religious, she talks about God on pretty much every page. Still… I am glad I read it. Maybe I’ll even write a few letters to my own Facebook friends.
That said, I didn’t find the book, particularly well written. I think it could’ve used some editing as it is quite repetitive. For those who aren’t religious, she talks about God on pretty much every page. Still… I am glad I read it. Maybe I’ll even write a few letters to my own Facebook friends.
June 5, 2024
A great book premise turned into sermon with too much self-adulation. Sorry, wouldn’t put my friends through it.
December 1, 2022
I deeply feel for Dana and her whole family...very sad situation and I won't quickly forget her or Parker. Possibly never, will think of them when I think of St. Jude (which I often do)
I think Amy's 'project' was interesting and it is something I could almost see me doing. I think the 'hardest' part would be finding all the addresses without having to come right out and ask the person. I also don't have as many FB friends as Amy.
One thing that kinda bugged me while reading was the phrase "my people" or "your people". I think it was overused.
But it was a cool project that evolved from heartbreak. I guess it was appropriate that I learned about this book from an ad I'd seen on Facebook.
I think Amy's 'project' was interesting and it is something I could almost see me doing. I think the 'hardest' part would be finding all the addresses without having to come right out and ask the person. I also don't have as many FB friends as Amy.
One thing that kinda bugged me while reading was the phrase "my people" or "your people". I think it was overused.
But it was a cool project that evolved from heartbreak. I guess it was appropriate that I learned about this book from an ad I'd seen on Facebook.
April 7, 2024
i enjoyed the concept of this book & the idea of spreading kindness and letting people know you care, but the execution just felt… very self-obsessed! i don’t have a problem with reading about the religious experience, but this was VERY heavily christian, making me feel a bit uncomfortable in places! it almost feels as though it was written for people to be like well done you did a thing and i didn’t like that about it
February 24, 2022
Social media- is it the great connector or digital divider of our generation? Amy Weinland Daughters undertook a social experiment of writing her entire “friend list” from Facebook to find out. Prompted by her discovery of an old camp friend’s son undergoing cancer treatment and ultimately losing his battle to the disease, she tackles the question are we really friends with those we claim to be online?
As anyone who lives in the 21st century can tell you, social media is the root of communication. Sadly, what we see projected on the screen does not accurately portray the lives of the account holder. Upon starting her journey, Amy definitely concludes that almost all of her so called “friends” are people she has not personally interacted with in decades if at all.
In an attempt to bridge the communication gap Amy sought out 580 addresses to mail a handwritten letter. Ironically, most of the correspondence ended there. However, there was the occasional written response back or my favorite- digital comment posted to her wall!
While the concept of writing the entirety of your “friends” list is super original I found the book to be a bit repetitive. I wish she would have omitted the countless times she explains the process of why she is writing the letters. I felt that her repetitiveness was distracting and off putting. In the same vein I could have done with her omitting how she has such a wacky personality and how so many others on her list shared the same sense of humor. Ultimately, I wanted a more concise story that kept me engaged.
Special thanks to NetGalley.com and Paperback Publishing- She Writes Press for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.
As anyone who lives in the 21st century can tell you, social media is the root of communication. Sadly, what we see projected on the screen does not accurately portray the lives of the account holder. Upon starting her journey, Amy definitely concludes that almost all of her so called “friends” are people she has not personally interacted with in decades if at all.
In an attempt to bridge the communication gap Amy sought out 580 addresses to mail a handwritten letter. Ironically, most of the correspondence ended there. However, there was the occasional written response back or my favorite- digital comment posted to her wall!
While the concept of writing the entirety of your “friends” list is super original I found the book to be a bit repetitive. I wish she would have omitted the countless times she explains the process of why she is writing the letters. I felt that her repetitiveness was distracting and off putting. In the same vein I could have done with her omitting how she has such a wacky personality and how so many others on her list shared the same sense of humor. Ultimately, I wanted a more concise story that kept me engaged.
Special thanks to NetGalley.com and Paperback Publishing- She Writes Press for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.
May 5, 2022
Yall, I really didn't know what to think about this one before I started it, but all I can say afterwards is wow. You already know from the cover that she is going to talk about how she wrote all 580 of her Facebook friends a letter, but the book starts out with her start on Facebook and what prompted her to start the letter-writing journey. There were tears involved, so be prepared! It was such a sweet and inspiring read about living your life while caring about others and being intentional about reaching out to others. I loved that she broke the chapters out with specific date ranges (why do I love that so much?). I loved that she actually included some of the letters and responses she received in return. This book will really make you examine your relationships with others and how you can impact them in the best ways just by performing simple tasks - like writing them a letter. Amy truly is an inspiration, and I am so glad she shared this book with us. If you're a Currently Reading Podcast listener, I think this could be a good slow but steady read. That way you give yourself some time to ruminate on the letters she wrote and what you might say to similar people in your own life. Thank you so much to Books Forward for my Advance Reader Copy! This one publishes on May 17, so go ahead and preorder your copy now, so you can jump in!
February 5, 2022
A quick read and surprisingly enjoyable. This book is by and about a woman who decided to write a handwritten letter to each of her 550 Facebook friends. I thought it would be too gimmicky but it’s actually just sweet and earnest while also kind of funny. It is very Christian which was not clear from the blurb but it isn’t bad even though I’m not Christian and felt really surprised by how much time this woman spends praying and thinking about things as God’s will. She keeps mentioning how amazing it is that she is to write a letter to a specific person at x important time in their life but statistically it seems completely obvious that the letters will sometimes come near important events for some people. But other than that pushing for everything to have meaning when maybe it just didn’t, this woman was so kind and earnest and just genuinely good. She is a Southern Christian and a political conservative, and I am none of those—but I still admire what she did and think we might have fun if we ended up at a party together. Well done.
I was lucky enough to receive a free copy of the ebook from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review. I’m glad I picked this one!
I was lucky enough to receive a free copy of the ebook from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review. I’m glad I picked this one!
May 28, 2023
Early on in the book Daughters mentions years spent at camp as both a counselor and camper. Without any mention of religion I knew this was religious camp and had a feeling this book wasn't going to be for me. Not that there is anything wrong with being religious or attending camp. But when that is what defines you. When every experience and friendship in your life comes from that. When at 40 your defining memories are from people you met when you were 7. That feels a bit culty and out of touch with mainstream society. It's like when someone introduces themselves as their kid's mom and not as Jane. You are a person who happens to have a child. You are not more or less of person because of the use of your uterus or your attendance at church.
I like the idea of connecting with Facebook friends on a deeper level. Like everyone, I have friends on Facebook that I have never met in person or who I only met briefly at an event. There are people who I see regularly in my daily life and people who I grew up with that I might only see at reunions.
Who hasn't been scrolling through their feed and been drawn into a post that led to a deep dive into that person's profile.
Who knows why Daughters was so drawn to Dana's story while she scrolled past some many others. As she writes the letters she realizes that she missed the illnesses and losses of other Facebook friends. She doesn't ruminate on this. Like all of us it is impossible to fully engage with everyone to the same extent at the same time.
What has surprised me the most about social media is what it reveals about people. There are people who I encounter in my daily life or who I considered my friends in real life who reveal themselves to be racist, homophobic, etc. It is disappointing that these people who I thought were my peers hold such ignorant views. Once these people reveal themselves I stop following them. We are still Facebook friends but I never have to see their posts again.
On the flip side, there are people who I was not close with in real life or who I may have had a negative opinion of who I bond with. I considered not accepting these friend requests and then realize that I have more in common with them than some of my "friends in real life". I favorite these people and dig deeper into their profiles because I care about what is going on in their lives. If possible, I try to meet these people in person or reach out to them with a direct message so that these can become real life friends.
I know that there are things that I cannot control, that there is an algorithm that manipulates what I see. But I also have the ability to curate my feed. To limit or eliminate people posts who make me feel bad or angry. Daughters not covering this side of Facebook is a big miss for me. Simply saying that social media is bad is lazy. The generalization that all relationships on social media are shallow and fake and that this "experiment" was so earth shattering because she went deeper is not true. Social media is what you make of it. The depth with which you explore relationships and connect with people is up to you.
I don't know why Daughters felt the need to repeat the same form letter over and over again in the text. Every time those sentences were repeated I wanted to scream. Say it once and then say " I opened this letter with my standard introduction" but there is no need to literally repeat it 100 times. It made it feel like there was a word count goal and reiterated the lack of uniqueness of each letter. It sounds like the same letter was written to several people. A little Facebook stalking to try to find one or two personal questions to ask someone and then a lot of talking about yourself.
People die, have babies, get divorced, get diseases, etc. These highs and lows are part of life. Once you have more than 100 friends on Facebook you will see these things with regularity. It's a matter of statistics. Yes, sometimes things seem to happen at the right time or too perfect to be a coincidence. You can call that fate or god or whatever you want. What you can't do is take every experience in life and attribute it to that. The repeated refrain that someone received a letter at a time when they were experiencing something difficult in their life is not surprising. If I took 580 people over the course of 2 years of course there would be major life events.
This book comes across as very preachy. I don't need someone with a limited view of the world to tell me that believing everything I see on the internet is bad any more than I need someone to commission a study to show that dogs are food motivated. This is common knowledge. I would have loved more depth and less superficial interactions. How were her relationships different after this project? Did she changed how she used Facebook or how she communicated with people?
People who love a book that I don't like generally say that I don't understand it because I don't have children or because I'm not religious. This is a cop out. Life just isn't that black and white. Not having the same opinions is ok. All people aren't the same. Open up your circle and talk to people that are different from you and listen to what they have to say. It will make you better in the long run.
I'm glad that I listened to the audible version of this book because I was able to speed it up. That being said, the narrator sounded like an android reading the book and was not engaging at all.
I like the idea of connecting with Facebook friends on a deeper level. Like everyone, I have friends on Facebook that I have never met in person or who I only met briefly at an event. There are people who I see regularly in my daily life and people who I grew up with that I might only see at reunions.
Who hasn't been scrolling through their feed and been drawn into a post that led to a deep dive into that person's profile.
Who knows why Daughters was so drawn to Dana's story while she scrolled past some many others. As she writes the letters she realizes that she missed the illnesses and losses of other Facebook friends. She doesn't ruminate on this. Like all of us it is impossible to fully engage with everyone to the same extent at the same time.
What has surprised me the most about social media is what it reveals about people. There are people who I encounter in my daily life or who I considered my friends in real life who reveal themselves to be racist, homophobic, etc. It is disappointing that these people who I thought were my peers hold such ignorant views. Once these people reveal themselves I stop following them. We are still Facebook friends but I never have to see their posts again.
On the flip side, there are people who I was not close with in real life or who I may have had a negative opinion of who I bond with. I considered not accepting these friend requests and then realize that I have more in common with them than some of my "friends in real life". I favorite these people and dig deeper into their profiles because I care about what is going on in their lives. If possible, I try to meet these people in person or reach out to them with a direct message so that these can become real life friends.
I know that there are things that I cannot control, that there is an algorithm that manipulates what I see. But I also have the ability to curate my feed. To limit or eliminate people posts who make me feel bad or angry. Daughters not covering this side of Facebook is a big miss for me. Simply saying that social media is bad is lazy. The generalization that all relationships on social media are shallow and fake and that this "experiment" was so earth shattering because she went deeper is not true. Social media is what you make of it. The depth with which you explore relationships and connect with people is up to you.
I don't know why Daughters felt the need to repeat the same form letter over and over again in the text. Every time those sentences were repeated I wanted to scream. Say it once and then say " I opened this letter with my standard introduction" but there is no need to literally repeat it 100 times. It made it feel like there was a word count goal and reiterated the lack of uniqueness of each letter. It sounds like the same letter was written to several people. A little Facebook stalking to try to find one or two personal questions to ask someone and then a lot of talking about yourself.
People die, have babies, get divorced, get diseases, etc. These highs and lows are part of life. Once you have more than 100 friends on Facebook you will see these things with regularity. It's a matter of statistics. Yes, sometimes things seem to happen at the right time or too perfect to be a coincidence. You can call that fate or god or whatever you want. What you can't do is take every experience in life and attribute it to that. The repeated refrain that someone received a letter at a time when they were experiencing something difficult in their life is not surprising. If I took 580 people over the course of 2 years of course there would be major life events.
This book comes across as very preachy. I don't need someone with a limited view of the world to tell me that believing everything I see on the internet is bad any more than I need someone to commission a study to show that dogs are food motivated. This is common knowledge. I would have loved more depth and less superficial interactions. How were her relationships different after this project? Did she changed how she used Facebook or how she communicated with people?
People who love a book that I don't like generally say that I don't understand it because I don't have children or because I'm not religious. This is a cop out. Life just isn't that black and white. Not having the same opinions is ok. All people aren't the same. Open up your circle and talk to people that are different from you and listen to what they have to say. It will make you better in the long run.
I'm glad that I listened to the audible version of this book because I was able to speed it up. That being said, the narrator sounded like an android reading the book and was not engaging at all.
June 9, 2023
I couldn’t keep going with this one. Once you read the first few chapter, you’ve read it. I didn’t need to go over the same letter over and over again. Way too repetitive and preachy.
It didn’t help I suppose that I was listening to it on audible, and the person that was reading the book sounded like that mechanical voice that is often used on Instagram with about the same inflections meaning, hardly any
It didn’t help I suppose that I was listening to it on audible, and the person that was reading the book sounded like that mechanical voice that is often used on Instagram with about the same inflections meaning, hardly any
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 27, 2023
I think this book will live in my mind and in my heart for a long time. Ms. Daughters is what I call a "people collector". She easily makes friends with people she meets in the work place, in the neighborhood, her siblings' friends, people at church, at the grocery store...you name a place or a circumstance and she has 'been there, done that' and has a new friend to prove it! As you would expect of any 'people collector', Ms. Daughters has a large list of FaceBook friends.(Almost 600 of them to be exact.) Some she has known for decades, some are relatively new to her. Some she has a face to face relationship with and some she only communicates via the internet. Most she would recognize in any circumstance and but others she has never seen other than pictures on her newsfeed. No matter the length of her friendship with each friend, she definitely remembers exactly where and when she met them and why she friended them on FaceBook.
In 2015, one of her FB friends requested prayers for her son who was being treated for cancer. This friend was from Ms. Daughter's childhood, having been a camp counselor with her during their teenaged years. Although the two women hadn't spoken in 30 years, Ms. Daughter felt an instant connection with Dana and did add Parker as well as his family to her list of daily prayers. From there, her connection to Parker's Mom deepened until the two Moms were writing (via USPS) on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, Parker succumbed to the disease. The author continued to support Dane (Parker's Mom) as the Rivera family grieved the loss of their beloved Parker.
As the author penned her weekly greeting, she reflected on her understanding of 'virtual' friends in this age of internet relationships. Are FB friends, 'real friends'? Are we losing out on really 'knowing' our media acquaintances? From her pondering the why and wherefore of friendship came the idea of writing an 'old school' letter to every one of her 580 FB friends. She devised a scientific system that would randomly chose the order in which she would write each letter. She would record if and when the recipient responded to her letter. "Dear Dana" is the amazing book that came from that undertaking.
Ms. Daughter gained much more from her endeavor than publishing a book. She gained insight into her understanding of friendship, of loyalty, of grief and one's journey through it. In reading the book, I learned a lot too. I'm thinking about undertaking a similar journey into my soul. I still haven't committed myself to such an enormous endeavor but I'm realizing how much I could gain from writing to the 258 souls who have graciously accepted my request for FaceBook friendship. Do I have the dedication and energy to take up my pen and take a risk to grow spiritually as well as emotionally.
In 2015, one of her FB friends requested prayers for her son who was being treated for cancer. This friend was from Ms. Daughter's childhood, having been a camp counselor with her during their teenaged years. Although the two women hadn't spoken in 30 years, Ms. Daughter felt an instant connection with Dana and did add Parker as well as his family to her list of daily prayers. From there, her connection to Parker's Mom deepened until the two Moms were writing (via USPS) on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, Parker succumbed to the disease. The author continued to support Dane (Parker's Mom) as the Rivera family grieved the loss of their beloved Parker.
As the author penned her weekly greeting, she reflected on her understanding of 'virtual' friends in this age of internet relationships. Are FB friends, 'real friends'? Are we losing out on really 'knowing' our media acquaintances? From her pondering the why and wherefore of friendship came the idea of writing an 'old school' letter to every one of her 580 FB friends. She devised a scientific system that would randomly chose the order in which she would write each letter. She would record if and when the recipient responded to her letter. "Dear Dana" is the amazing book that came from that undertaking.
Ms. Daughter gained much more from her endeavor than publishing a book. She gained insight into her understanding of friendship, of loyalty, of grief and one's journey through it. In reading the book, I learned a lot too. I'm thinking about undertaking a similar journey into my soul. I still haven't committed myself to such an enormous endeavor but I'm realizing how much I could gain from writing to the 258 souls who have graciously accepted my request for FaceBook friendship. Do I have the dedication and energy to take up my pen and take a risk to grow spiritually as well as emotionally.
June 6, 2022
Dear Dana
That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter
by Amy Weinland Daughters
Pub Date 17 May 2022
She Writes Press
Biographies & Memoirs
I am reviewing a copy of Dear Dana: That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter: through She Writes Press and Netgalley:
Amy Daughters reconnected with her old pal Dana on Facebook, she had no idea how it would change her life. The two women hadn’t had any contact in thirty years, it didn’t take them long to catch up—and when Amy learned that Dana’s son Parker was doing a second stint at St. Jude battling cancer, she was suddenly inspired to begin writing the pair weekly letters.
After Dana’s Son Parker died Amy—not knowing what else to do—continued to write Dana. Eventually, Dana wrote back, and the two became pen pals, sharing things through the mail that they had never shared before. The richness of the experience left Amy wondering something: If my life could be so changed by someone I considered “just a Facebook friend,” what would happen if I wrote all my Facebook friends a letter?
Amy wrote all 580 of her Facebook friends a handwritten letter, an act that would change Amy’s life and most of all it changed her heart, her life or heart would never be the same. As it turned out, there were actual individuals living very real lives behind each social media profile, and she was beautifully connected to each of those extraordinary, flawed people for a specific reason. They loved her, and she loved them. And nothing—not politics, beliefs, or lifestyle—could separate them.
I give Dear Dana five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter
by Amy Weinland Daughters
Pub Date 17 May 2022
She Writes Press
Biographies & Memoirs
I am reviewing a copy of Dear Dana: That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter: through She Writes Press and Netgalley:
Amy Daughters reconnected with her old pal Dana on Facebook, she had no idea how it would change her life. The two women hadn’t had any contact in thirty years, it didn’t take them long to catch up—and when Amy learned that Dana’s son Parker was doing a second stint at St. Jude battling cancer, she was suddenly inspired to begin writing the pair weekly letters.
After Dana’s Son Parker died Amy—not knowing what else to do—continued to write Dana. Eventually, Dana wrote back, and the two became pen pals, sharing things through the mail that they had never shared before. The richness of the experience left Amy wondering something: If my life could be so changed by someone I considered “just a Facebook friend,” what would happen if I wrote all my Facebook friends a letter?
Amy wrote all 580 of her Facebook friends a handwritten letter, an act that would change Amy’s life and most of all it changed her heart, her life or heart would never be the same. As it turned out, there were actual individuals living very real lives behind each social media profile, and she was beautifully connected to each of those extraordinary, flawed people for a specific reason. They loved her, and she loved them. And nothing—not politics, beliefs, or lifestyle—could separate them.
I give Dear Dana five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
July 30, 2022
Dear Dana by Amy W. Daughters is the story of how the author decided to hand write all her friends on Facebook. After the death of the son of a friend she went to camp with, back in the day, not knowing how to reach out to her friend, she decides to write to all 580 friends that she has on Facebook.
Everyone and their friends are on Facebook. A place to stay connected to people you know and some you don't. It can be a place that is very impersonal though. Do you really know all of your "friends"?
I have been on Facebook myself since 2010. I love it because I can keep in touch with family, mostly my children who are scattered across the country and other countries. I also have a lot of "friends" but mostly since I am a blogger and book reviewer. Do I really know these people, not really but it is still nice connecting.
Amy took the friendships a bit further, starting with the project of putting all of her Facebook friends' names in a box and choosing one each day. Turns out she had 580 handwritten letters to write, not postcards but actual letters. A painstaking and daunting task at the beginning. As time went by, she became to enjoy writing letters and getting answers back, some people did not write back which was ok for her.
Because of this project, she ended up having lifelong friends, people she had not seen or heard from in years. So what started as a way to connect and offer prayers to a friend whose son had passed away from cancer, ended up being a lifelong friendship.
I found this story very interesting, not sure if it is something that I would entertain but a very unique and valuable experience for the author and her friends and family.
I give the book 5 stars!
I received a copy of the book for review purposes only.
Everyone and their friends are on Facebook. A place to stay connected to people you know and some you don't. It can be a place that is very impersonal though. Do you really know all of your "friends"?
I have been on Facebook myself since 2010. I love it because I can keep in touch with family, mostly my children who are scattered across the country and other countries. I also have a lot of "friends" but mostly since I am a blogger and book reviewer. Do I really know these people, not really but it is still nice connecting.
Amy took the friendships a bit further, starting with the project of putting all of her Facebook friends' names in a box and choosing one each day. Turns out she had 580 handwritten letters to write, not postcards but actual letters. A painstaking and daunting task at the beginning. As time went by, she became to enjoy writing letters and getting answers back, some people did not write back which was ok for her.
Because of this project, she ended up having lifelong friends, people she had not seen or heard from in years. So what started as a way to connect and offer prayers to a friend whose son had passed away from cancer, ended up being a lifelong friendship.
I found this story very interesting, not sure if it is something that I would entertain but a very unique and valuable experience for the author and her friends and family.
I give the book 5 stars!
I received a copy of the book for review purposes only.
October 25, 2022
Food for Thought
While I read this book from beginning to end, I found that although the author is a decent writer, the book itself felt rather tedious to me. For some reason, I just couldn't "get into it" although it did prompt me to consider whether I too should write a real letter to each Facebook friend. However I don't feel led to do that even though my friends list is MUCH shorter!
That said, this book did provide additional "food for thought" such as "Why didn't I create Facebook? Then I could VISIT certain Facebook friends and family!" And "There is not one person on my friends list where I would have to wonder just how we connected." I suppose that's a good thing but not very conducive to adventure.
Seriously, though I truly feel badly for Amy's friend Dana and her family who lost their son and brother to cancer (which prompted Amy to reach out) I think I could have skipped this one. It's slow reading to read a book about writing 500 plus letters and bare tidbits of each recipient's life --although I recognize in the interests of privacy, friendship and respect it is necessary to be brief and non specific. It's just that this book would have been better as a journal or diary since it is MOST meaningful to those directly involved!
While I read this book from beginning to end, I found that although the author is a decent writer, the book itself felt rather tedious to me. For some reason, I just couldn't "get into it" although it did prompt me to consider whether I too should write a real letter to each Facebook friend. However I don't feel led to do that even though my friends list is MUCH shorter!
That said, this book did provide additional "food for thought" such as "Why didn't I create Facebook? Then I could VISIT certain Facebook friends and family!" And "There is not one person on my friends list where I would have to wonder just how we connected." I suppose that's a good thing but not very conducive to adventure.
Seriously, though I truly feel badly for Amy's friend Dana and her family who lost their son and brother to cancer (which prompted Amy to reach out) I think I could have skipped this one. It's slow reading to read a book about writing 500 plus letters and bare tidbits of each recipient's life --although I recognize in the interests of privacy, friendship and respect it is necessary to be brief and non specific. It's just that this book would have been better as a journal or diary since it is MOST meaningful to those directly involved!
March 27, 2022
Thank you to Net Galley and She Writes Press for a free copy of this book to review.
This book explores the connections we forge on social media (specifically Facebook), and the author challenges herself to make those connections more meaningful by reaching out to each person on her friend list. She was inspired to do this after writing and praying for an old friend (Dana, hence the title), during a very challenging time in Dana's family's life.
Many of the individual letters and responses are included, and honestly, the individual letters got a little repetitive, but I really enjoyed the parts about the friendship forged between Dana and Amy.
I read this book at a unique time, since I gave up Facebook for Lent this year. Even before reading this book, I've been reflecting on social media's purpose in my life, and this book challenged me to consider it even further.
From reading the title and synopsis, I thought this book would be much lighter than it was. It was a quick read and there were humorous parts, but there were many heavy subjects discussed (childhood cancer, death, suicide, family abuse).
This book explores the connections we forge on social media (specifically Facebook), and the author challenges herself to make those connections more meaningful by reaching out to each person on her friend list. She was inspired to do this after writing and praying for an old friend (Dana, hence the title), during a very challenging time in Dana's family's life.
Many of the individual letters and responses are included, and honestly, the individual letters got a little repetitive, but I really enjoyed the parts about the friendship forged between Dana and Amy.
I read this book at a unique time, since I gave up Facebook for Lent this year. Even before reading this book, I've been reflecting on social media's purpose in my life, and this book challenged me to consider it even further.
From reading the title and synopsis, I thought this book would be much lighter than it was. It was a quick read and there were humorous parts, but there were many heavy subjects discussed (childhood cancer, death, suicide, family abuse).
April 24, 2022
I received a copy of this book through the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I will say I don't think I was the demographic for this book and that is largely why it was not for me, but I see why other people may enjoy this book.
This book is largely a memoir of the author's experience connecting with an old friend and reaching out to other friends from Facebook via letter. The book is very religious and Christian heavy - there is a lot of talk about the authors faith and how it shapes her perspective and experience and how connecting to other people was a largely religious experience for her.
While the idea of writing every single person the author is Facebook friends with is an interesting idea, the book feels repetitive after a while. Almost every single letter and response is included in this book it feels like. It felt a bit like the author kept all of this information for the purpose of writing a book and not for the experience its self.
This is an interesting story about friendship and faith that I don't think I would have chosen if I'd realized the content of the book, but can see why others may find it an enlightening read.
I will say I don't think I was the demographic for this book and that is largely why it was not for me, but I see why other people may enjoy this book.
This book is largely a memoir of the author's experience connecting with an old friend and reaching out to other friends from Facebook via letter. The book is very religious and Christian heavy - there is a lot of talk about the authors faith and how it shapes her perspective and experience and how connecting to other people was a largely religious experience for her.
While the idea of writing every single person the author is Facebook friends with is an interesting idea, the book feels repetitive after a while. Almost every single letter and response is included in this book it feels like. It felt a bit like the author kept all of this information for the purpose of writing a book and not for the experience its self.
This is an interesting story about friendship and faith that I don't think I would have chosen if I'd realized the content of the book, but can see why others may find it an enlightening read.
April 28, 2022
The basis of this book intrigued me - firstly because I have so many Facebook friends that I have never met in person and secondly I was a big letter writer in my school days - no internet, no cellphones and at boarding school so only coin-operated callboxes.
I remember the excitement of receiving a handwritten letter from a close friend or family member - I have many of those in a biscuit tin that I dip into from time to time and remember those writers. So I can just imagine how awesome it must have felt for the receivers of one of the 580 letters. The way the author saw herself as part of God's plan for her friend's life is profound. Sometimes we think "right time, right place" without crediting God for being the ultimate planner for these moments.
This is a book that will live on in my thoughts for quite a while. Whilst I may not undertake a similar mission with my Facebook friends, I might be lured into the idea of dropping a handwritten letter into a parcel for close family when sending packages via courier (SA postal system leaves a lot to be desired).
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this book.
I remember the excitement of receiving a handwritten letter from a close friend or family member - I have many of those in a biscuit tin that I dip into from time to time and remember those writers. So I can just imagine how awesome it must have felt for the receivers of one of the 580 letters. The way the author saw herself as part of God's plan for her friend's life is profound. Sometimes we think "right time, right place" without crediting God for being the ultimate planner for these moments.
This is a book that will live on in my thoughts for quite a while. Whilst I may not undertake a similar mission with my Facebook friends, I might be lured into the idea of dropping a handwritten letter into a parcel for close family when sending packages via courier (SA postal system leaves a lot to be desired).
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this book.
April 21, 2022
2.5 rounded up!
I really loved the premise of this book and it was such a quick read, but definitely feel this book is for folks older than me.
With that being said, I valued a lot of lessons within this book. Social media is a highlight reel, a stronger friendship is built through personal connection, etc. But on the other hand, the story became very repetitive and I got a tad bored after a while.
The letters didn’t bother me although they did get very repetitive, but I think the fascination of finding people on Facebook did. Mind you, I had to go back in time to a place where social media wasn’t big, and for me personally, that was hard. Facebook especially, with it being an app I don’t really use on a daily basis. So witnessing someone learn what Facebook is and find old friends from summer camp days made my eyes gloss over.
The letters she writes to Dana were super touching, but also felt too personal to share.
I’m a mixed bag on this one.
Content warnings: cancer, death
I really loved the premise of this book and it was such a quick read, but definitely feel this book is for folks older than me.
With that being said, I valued a lot of lessons within this book. Social media is a highlight reel, a stronger friendship is built through personal connection, etc. But on the other hand, the story became very repetitive and I got a tad bored after a while.
The letters didn’t bother me although they did get very repetitive, but I think the fascination of finding people on Facebook did. Mind you, I had to go back in time to a place where social media wasn’t big, and for me personally, that was hard. Facebook especially, with it being an app I don’t really use on a daily basis. So witnessing someone learn what Facebook is and find old friends from summer camp days made my eyes gloss over.
The letters she writes to Dana were super touching, but also felt too personal to share.
I’m a mixed bag on this one.
Content warnings: cancer, death
September 21, 2022
This was an interesting journey that exposed a lot about the nature of friendships on Facebook.
Though the goal seemed tedious, the author effectively cut through the bulk of her project to highlight some important lessons learned about relationships.
Takeaways for me:
1. When supporting someone through the grief of a loss, don't stop. Ever. Friendships are crucial for one who is grieving. Especially after the funeral is over and the casseroles stop coming.
2. God works miracles through us. Listen and follow those promptings.
3. Find ways to let people know you care. We need each other~! Every connection counts.
4. We can be digital friends and REAL-LIFE friends at the same time, but where Facebook can keep you connected to hundreds of friends, it is less realistic to sustain hundreds of real-life friendships.
5. We rarely see the whole picture on Facebook. Everyone has unique struggles.
6. Spread love and positivity wherever you can. Most people in this world are starving for love and affection.
Though the goal seemed tedious, the author effectively cut through the bulk of her project to highlight some important lessons learned about relationships.
Takeaways for me:
1. When supporting someone through the grief of a loss, don't stop. Ever. Friendships are crucial for one who is grieving. Especially after the funeral is over and the casseroles stop coming.
2. God works miracles through us. Listen and follow those promptings.
3. Find ways to let people know you care. We need each other~! Every connection counts.
4. We can be digital friends and REAL-LIFE friends at the same time, but where Facebook can keep you connected to hundreds of friends, it is less realistic to sustain hundreds of real-life friendships.
5. We rarely see the whole picture on Facebook. Everyone has unique struggles.
6. Spread love and positivity wherever you can. Most people in this world are starving for love and affection.
May 17, 2024
I. Love. This. Book. My 2023 vision board included sending out hand written cards weekly (because we don’t get enough good things in the mail and because it’s so much more personal than a text or social media message…so when I saw this advertised I had to read it.
This is non-fiction which is out of my norm but what an amazing story of a woman, Amy, showing God’s love (and her own)!! When Amy sees on Facebook that her friend from camp 30 years ago has a teenage son battling cancer, she decides to reach out and send a card. Dana’s son soon passes away and Amy feels inspired to continue writing to Dana weekly. Eventually, Dana responds and they develop a pen pal relationship that blossoms in to a deep and meaningful real life friendship. Amy then questions the validity of “Facebook friends” and decides to hand write a two page letter to each one to cultivate “real life” friendships. I absolutely LOVE the premise and was inspired to continue on in my quest to share my love thru cards/notes in the mail.
This is non-fiction which is out of my norm but what an amazing story of a woman, Amy, showing God’s love (and her own)!! When Amy sees on Facebook that her friend from camp 30 years ago has a teenage son battling cancer, she decides to reach out and send a card. Dana’s son soon passes away and Amy feels inspired to continue writing to Dana weekly. Eventually, Dana responds and they develop a pen pal relationship that blossoms in to a deep and meaningful real life friendship. Amy then questions the validity of “Facebook friends” and decides to hand write a two page letter to each one to cultivate “real life” friendships. I absolutely LOVE the premise and was inspired to continue on in my quest to share my love thru cards/notes in the mail.
January 27, 2022
I was sent this book by Books Forward for an honest review. This was an interesting read about a women deciding to write letter to all her Facebook friends and the impacts it made in her life as well as others. I start was great learning about the Dana and her son struggling with childhood cancer. The middle is where my interest started fall. The book is a bout letters so be prepared to read a lot of letters. I felt as some letter could of been left out and the same story would of been told. The ending was wrapped up very well and enjoyed reading about the life lessons that were learned and how her religion played a huge part in it all. The religious aspect was not forced down your throat but was truly apart of her story. I would recommend this book to people who are interested in human interactions and what we do affect others.
February 17, 2022
The premise of this book was intriguing - we certainly don’t have a close personal relationship with all of our social media “friends”. The development of the author’s friendship with Dana after a 30 year gap, coupled with Dana’s son’s illness, was fortuitous. But it felt like the author kind of forced the connection. Lots of references that felt like contrived foreshadowing.
From that point on it started to feel a little too heavy on the God scale, I was interested in the rest of her friends’ reactions to the letters, outcome of the outreach, etc. Certainly got a lot of example of that but seemed heavy handed with the “wow - God is great” sprinkled in. I get that her faith is a big part of her life, but found all the references tj “God’s blessing”, “God’s hand”, and “God’s intervention” too much. Lost interest, lost focus.
From that point on it started to feel a little too heavy on the God scale, I was interested in the rest of her friends’ reactions to the letters, outcome of the outreach, etc. Certainly got a lot of example of that but seemed heavy handed with the “wow - God is great” sprinkled in. I get that her faith is a big part of her life, but found all the references tj “God’s blessing”, “God’s hand”, and “God’s intervention” too much. Lost interest, lost focus.
May 17, 2022
Dear Dana is a heart-warming, thought-provoking, and sensitive read that focuses on the importance of friendship and its meaning in this modern world. As a lover of writing, I can relate to this well. I fell in love with the characters, especially Amy. Her compassion and sympathy when her friend was grieving were emotional but not heavy. Her gentleness leapt off the pages and into my heart.
I haven’t read anything by the author before, but her writing style is addictive, engaging and compelling. I recommend this book to anyone who has a passion for writing and pen palling and anyone who needs a charming and delightful read. This read would make an ideal book club read, as there is plenty to discuss. I will be reading more written by this author in the future.
Dear Dana is available to purchase now.
I haven’t read anything by the author before, but her writing style is addictive, engaging and compelling. I recommend this book to anyone who has a passion for writing and pen palling and anyone who needs a charming and delightful read. This read would make an ideal book club read, as there is plenty to discuss. I will be reading more written by this author in the future.
Dear Dana is available to purchase now.
October 18, 2023
"Dear Dana: That Time I Went Crazy and Wrote All 580 of My Facebook Friends a Handwritten Letter" by Amy Weinland Daughters is a heartwarming journey through the power of connection and the lost art of handwritten communication. Her candid and courageous tale of reaching out to each of her Facebook friends in such a personal manner is both endearing and relatable. As she navigates the ups and downs of this ambitious endeavor, readers are treated to a genuine exploration of human connection and the impact of simple, heartfelt gestures. Daughters' writing is both humorous and touching, making the reader feel like they are right there with her on this unique adventure. "Dear Dana" is a delightful reminder of the beauty that unfolds when we take the time to connect with others in a meaningful way, one letter at a time.
June 5, 2022
It is a heartwarming story of how those of us who were born without cell phones and computers in our hands learn to function in the world today and still make connections and bonds. Amy’s story inspires us to reach out beyond a “like” or comment on Facebook and revive the lost art of letter writing. Through her friendship with a childhood friend named Dana, Daughters embarks on a long process of writing all 580 of her FB friends and the results are totally transforming. The stories of God’s graces and guidance through the letters reminds us that it still possible to make heartfelt, sincere connections in today’s world of social media. For those of us who still enjoy the short walk to the mailbox in the hopes of a surprise, Daughters reminds us you won’t get one unless you send one!
March 22, 2022
Letter writing has been relegated to the past alongside answering machines and VCRs. However, there is something immensely satisfying and personal with writing an actual letter and receiving a reply.
Dear Dana is the story of one woman’s agenda to write a personal letter to each one of her Facebook friends, with particular emphasis on her friend Dana, who lost her son to cancer.
It’s touching and heartfelt. Daughters brings back the direct approach Of communication, long before the advent of social media.
Sometimes the traditional way is much more appealing than the new showy approach.
Thanks to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the advance read.
Dear Dana is the story of one woman’s agenda to write a personal letter to each one of her Facebook friends, with particular emphasis on her friend Dana, who lost her son to cancer.
It’s touching and heartfelt. Daughters brings back the direct approach Of communication, long before the advent of social media.
Sometimes the traditional way is much more appealing than the new showy approach.
Thanks to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the advance read.
May 17, 2022
In relaying her captivating story, the author reflects, "What if we’re all doing something that seems ordinary and mundane, but in fact, we’re playing a silent yet essential part in changing the world? Maybe there really is no such thing as a coincidence. Perhaps something we can’t see is directing everything we can see."
Such is the case in DEAR DANA, where God touches the hearts and lives of the sender and the recipients of hundreds of handwritten letters. I laughed, and I cried as I followed the pleasures of real mail, and the lesson hit home—whether written or spoken, our words matter. They have the power to illuminate someone’s darkest day.
Such is the case in DEAR DANA, where God touches the hearts and lives of the sender and the recipients of hundreds of handwritten letters. I laughed, and I cried as I followed the pleasures of real mail, and the lesson hit home—whether written or spoken, our words matter. They have the power to illuminate someone’s darkest day.
July 18, 2022
This book made me laugh, and also tugged at my heart strings, as well as evaluate what Social media friends really mean to me.
The connection between Amy and Dana… ❤️❤️❤️ To be a constant in someone’s life.
I’ve been exploring being pen pals , and that is what brought me to this book in the first place . Thankful for this read, thankful for Amy reaching out to her Facebook friends… and opening a light to what one means to her many times brought her letter to the recipient “at the moment I needed it the most”.
Thank you Amy for writing this book. It encouraged me to reach out and be a better friend to those around me ❤️ God bless❤️
The connection between Amy and Dana… ❤️❤️❤️ To be a constant in someone’s life.
I’ve been exploring being pen pals , and that is what brought me to this book in the first place . Thankful for this read, thankful for Amy reaching out to her Facebook friends… and opening a light to what one means to her many times brought her letter to the recipient “at the moment I needed it the most”.
Thank you Amy for writing this book. It encouraged me to reach out and be a better friend to those around me ❤️ God bless❤️
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