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I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help!: How to Help Someone Accept Treatment - 20th Anniversary Edition
'This book fills a tremendous void...' wrote E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., about the first edition of I AM NOT SICK, I Don't Need Help! Twenty years later, it still does. Dr. Amador's research on poor insight was inspired by his success helping his brother Henry, who had schizophrenia, accept treatment. Like tens of millions of others diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and addictions, Henry did not believe he was ill. In this latest edition, all chapters have been updated with new research on anosognosia (lack of insight) and much more detail on LEAP. Readers will find expanded guidance on how to learn and use LEAP. New advice, relying on lessons learned from tens of thousands of LEAP seminar participants, is given to help readers quickly and effectively use Dr. Amador's method for helping someone accept treatment. I AM NOT SICK, I Don't Need Help! is not just a reference for Mental Health practitioners and Criminal Justice professionals. It is a must-read guide for family members whose loved ones are battling mental illness and addictions. Read and learn as have hundreds of thousands of others...to LEAP-Listen, Empathize, Agree, and Partner-and help your patients and loved ones accept the treatment they need.
301 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 20, 2022
355 people are currently reading
198 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
October 27, 2023
This is an absolutely vital book for anyone with a loved one dealing with anosognosia - the inability to tell you're mentally ill, which can look like denial. The basics of this book are summed up by Dr. Amador's acronym: LEAP.
L is for listen.
E is for empathize.
A is for agree.
P is for partner.
If you've had tough conflict with the individual previously over their illness, the first hidden step is to actually apologize - even if you've done nothing wrong. This is a key point throughout the LEAP method: apologize and empathize with what they're feeling, even if you've done nothing wrong or they're not in reality.
The first named part of LEAP is listen. Dr. Amador goes into detail about how to actively listen. All of this is simply good advice, regardless of if someone is mentally ill or just in a heightened emotional state.
Empathizing is the next part. Even if you disagree with someone's entire version of reality, empathize with the way they're feeling from it. This is simply the kind, loving thing to do. Maybe you're 100% certain the things they're seeing/remembering aren't real, but the suffering these things cause your loved one is 100% real, regardless of the reality of the cause.
After that, find agreements. Instead of focusing on where you disagree (whether treatment is needed), focus on what you both see. It could be you both agree their sleep is bad and would like that to improve or that both of you would like them to be able to work. Find and focus on the common ground.
With that common ground, partner on making those things happen. That way, it's not you being pro-pills vs them being anti-pills. It's both of you collaborating on how to help them achieve a goal you agree with.
Another key component of the LEAP method that doesn't exactly fit in the framework, but is implied by the L being primary is to NOT give you opinion until asked. And then, even after that, apologize for what you're about to say because you know they're not going to like it. Personally, I'm a bit of a chronic "fixer" (always giving unsolicited advice and jumping into problem solving). I should heed this advice throughout my entire life in all of my relationships, I imagine.
Overall it's a bit poorly written and not my style of nonfiction or guidebook, but I don't think there's anything better for helping you manage a loved one with anosognosia, a common symptom of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, dementia, and so on.
L is for listen.
E is for empathize.
A is for agree.
P is for partner.
If you've had tough conflict with the individual previously over their illness, the first hidden step is to actually apologize - even if you've done nothing wrong. This is a key point throughout the LEAP method: apologize and empathize with what they're feeling, even if you've done nothing wrong or they're not in reality.
The first named part of LEAP is listen. Dr. Amador goes into detail about how to actively listen. All of this is simply good advice, regardless of if someone is mentally ill or just in a heightened emotional state.
Empathizing is the next part. Even if you disagree with someone's entire version of reality, empathize with the way they're feeling from it. This is simply the kind, loving thing to do. Maybe you're 100% certain the things they're seeing/remembering aren't real, but the suffering these things cause your loved one is 100% real, regardless of the reality of the cause.
After that, find agreements. Instead of focusing on where you disagree (whether treatment is needed), focus on what you both see. It could be you both agree their sleep is bad and would like that to improve or that both of you would like them to be able to work. Find and focus on the common ground.
With that common ground, partner on making those things happen. That way, it's not you being pro-pills vs them being anti-pills. It's both of you collaborating on how to help them achieve a goal you agree with.
Another key component of the LEAP method that doesn't exactly fit in the framework, but is implied by the L being primary is to NOT give you opinion until asked. And then, even after that, apologize for what you're about to say because you know they're not going to like it. Personally, I'm a bit of a chronic "fixer" (always giving unsolicited advice and jumping into problem solving). I should heed this advice throughout my entire life in all of my relationships, I imagine.
Overall it's a bit poorly written and not my style of nonfiction or guidebook, but I don't think there's anything better for helping you manage a loved one with anosognosia, a common symptom of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, dementia, and so on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 4, 2023
Valuable Insight
Amador's research, insights, and personal experiences provide a slight shift in perspective that may be very useful. I was curious about dysfunction more related to depression, isolation, and self-care issues, yet there seem to be parallels to the more serious conditions he describes. His identification of anosognosia (lack of self-insight) as a symptom, with possible frontal lobe causes, provides an avenue of compassion for sufferers and family. The language suggestions may not always be easy to implement, but worth consideration as a more gentle and kind approach for families. Easy to read and absorb.
Amador's research, insights, and personal experiences provide a slight shift in perspective that may be very useful. I was curious about dysfunction more related to depression, isolation, and self-care issues, yet there seem to be parallels to the more serious conditions he describes. His identification of anosognosia (lack of self-insight) as a symptom, with possible frontal lobe causes, provides an avenue of compassion for sufferers and family. The language suggestions may not always be easy to implement, but worth consideration as a more gentle and kind approach for families. Easy to read and absorb.
August 27, 2025
Absolutely essential reading for anyone struggling to help a loved one facing a mental health crisis and denial
October 16, 2023
Reflective listening is key.
Dr. Amador’s proverb, relationships over agenda, is spelled out thoroughly through his LEAP program. He gives great examples vis a vis getting patients with schizophrenia to take their meds. The intertwined story of his brother is moving and touching.
I do wish he could widen his treatment net to cover specifics in addiction medicine—getting patients to stop taking. This is a 180 from his focus. Although I am sure his method can be tweaked and may still be efficacious, it would be helpful if he could post some examples of how to get people to stop taking harmful substances via the LEAP program, in addition to getting them to take helpful drugs.
Still, this book is a fine work deserving much praise.
Dr. Amador’s proverb, relationships over agenda, is spelled out thoroughly through his LEAP program. He gives great examples vis a vis getting patients with schizophrenia to take their meds. The intertwined story of his brother is moving and touching.
I do wish he could widen his treatment net to cover specifics in addiction medicine—getting patients to stop taking. This is a 180 from his focus. Although I am sure his method can be tweaked and may still be efficacious, it would be helpful if he could post some examples of how to get people to stop taking harmful substances via the LEAP program, in addition to getting them to take helpful drugs.
Still, this book is a fine work deserving much praise.
August 6, 2022
Remarkable, amazing book
This book was suggested by a counselor my husband and I went to - the subject in question being how to deal with many of the aspects of our son's schizophrenia. It is absolutely the book I needed to read. Dr. Amador's kind, compassionate heart, coupled with his obvious professional insight and skill make this an easy, and even exciting read. He convinces your that there is hope, and even happiness to be gained using the LEAP method of communication. If you have a loved one who has been diagnosed with a mental illness, your owe it to yourself, your loved one,, and other family members to read this book.
This book was suggested by a counselor my husband and I went to - the subject in question being how to deal with many of the aspects of our son's schizophrenia. It is absolutely the book I needed to read. Dr. Amador's kind, compassionate heart, coupled with his obvious professional insight and skill make this an easy, and even exciting read. He convinces your that there is hope, and even happiness to be gained using the LEAP method of communication. If you have a loved one who has been diagnosed with a mental illness, your owe it to yourself, your loved one,, and other family members to read this book.
December 25, 2024
Very practical guide for helping someone with severe mental illness be adherent to pharmacological treatment. I would recommend this book to anyone working in healthcare. For behavioral health specialists, the information in this book would benefit in improving the outlook on patient care and desired outcomes. The LEAP method may not be the best tool to use when dealing with patient in eminent danger, actively violent, and/or floridly psychotic. There needs to be a baseline capacity for comprehension to sustain any meaningful patient participation in LEAP. Overall, it’s a great quick read and a lot to ponder and work on.
January 13, 2024
Thank you for giving me a new perspective on how to help people that suffer from schizophrenia.
Besides the key insight the book is a wonderfully practical, compassionate and well written guide on how to best support a loved one (or a patient) with a serious mental illness.
The author does not only write competently as the renowned expert and scientist he is, but also, having a brother with schizophrenia, he speaks with the voice of a man who personally endured many of the struggles, ups and downs that are so familiar to all of us who are in a similar position.
Besides the key insight the book is a wonderfully practical, compassionate and well written guide on how to best support a loved one (or a patient) with a serious mental illness.
The author does not only write competently as the renowned expert and scientist he is, but also, having a brother with schizophrenia, he speaks with the voice of a man who personally endured many of the struggles, ups and downs that are so familiar to all of us who are in a similar position.
May 22, 2025
Just read and Learn. This should be mandatory.
Being a parent of a son who has developed schizophrenia this book has helped me immensely. I am working on my communication and listening skills daily. I can’t say it’s easy but it has helped me. I still manage to have a relationship with my son who can be quite volatile at times. I will continue to push forward and try to get him to accept medication. Never give up.
Being a parent of a son who has developed schizophrenia this book has helped me immensely. I am working on my communication and listening skills daily. I can’t say it’s easy but it has helped me. I still manage to have a relationship with my son who can be quite volatile at times. I will continue to push forward and try to get him to accept medication. Never give up.
September 5, 2025
Easy to read. Practical and have good exercises and examples you can practice with. The book focuses on schizophrenic and bipolar patients, but the general principle applies to other conditions.
I was also very moved by the personal stories of going through mental health treatment. Some were the author’s personal experience with his brother’s schizophrenia, while others were his professional experience with patients and their families.
I was also very moved by the personal stories of going through mental health treatment. Some were the author’s personal experience with his brother’s schizophrenia, while others were his professional experience with patients and their families.
March 5, 2023
I had read an earlier version when dealing with my dad's diagnosis with frontotemporal dementia, and reread the new one as a refresher. The skills taught here can be applied to any anosognosia, and helped me meet dad where he was in a positive way that kept him compliant with the medications that helped him enjoy his life.
November 8, 2024
This book was incredibly insightful, comforting, and honestly life-changing. It offers explanations and tools crucial for anyone who has a loved one with a psychotic disorder. I highly recommend reading this book multiple times, if you are in that position. It could truly transform your relationship with them and their path to stability and health.
June 10, 2025
This is basically the bible on how to deal with crazy people not wanting treatment. It includes how to deal with the self-doubt caused by reaching out for help. There is so much in here that would help anyone struggling on just about every page. Required reading if you have folks with Mental Health issues in your life. Gold. Absolute gold.
September 7, 2022
A great, easily digestible read on how to approach building a therapeutic alliance with individuals who have major mental illness.
The book is filled with both clear and easy to follow instructions, as well as examples.
The book is filled with both clear and easy to follow instructions, as well as examples.
October 17, 2022
This was such a helpful book for anyone who is trying to get a mentally ill person to do what will change their life. Not seeing the sickness is part of the sickness, so I learned not to interpret resistance as denial or stubbornness.
July 29, 2023
Excellent primer on dealing with permanent psychological denial of psychotic diagnosis and l refusal to accept medical and psychological treatment. Especially relevant for bipolar and schizophrenic victims but my interest is in an Eating Disorder victim and most principals seem relevant to this affliction too.
August 22, 2023
Wonderful book. Speaking from both personal experience and clinical knowledge, Xavier presents a path to help someone that may not know or believe they need your help. Well worth reading for anyone involved in supporting people with Mental Health issues or challenges.
March 13, 2024
This book is required reading for anyone living with mental illness. Family, friends, health care professionals can learn much from Dr. Amador, and you will better understand and support the person in your life who is living with mental illness.
March 15, 2025
Recommended to me by a family support group. Excellent book for families of someone with mental health challenges who doesn’t think they need help. We’ll see if my review changes as I try to put these tools into practice.
May 26, 2025
Somewhat useful but…
Some intriguing recommendations but a bit repetitive and sounds in parts too much like a commercial for LEAP® (no kidding, it appears as a registered mark) conferences and talks. A bit disturbing when your audience is concerned, often desperate, family members.
It damages the author’s credibility to include twice a false Einstein attribution to the definition of stupidity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Einstein never said that. Given the number of false Einstein citations in the internet, a diligent author would his homework instead of believing whatever you read online.
Some intriguing recommendations but a bit repetitive and sounds in parts too much like a commercial for LEAP® (no kidding, it appears as a registered mark) conferences and talks. A bit disturbing when your audience is concerned, often desperate, family members.
It damages the author’s credibility to include twice a false Einstein attribution to the definition of stupidity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Einstein never said that. Given the number of false Einstein citations in the internet, a diligent author would his homework instead of believing whatever you read online.
January 21, 2024
Helpful information, relevant to other afflictions and issues as well.
April 18, 2024
Excellent! If you have a loved one suffering from mental illness, this is for you.
October 4, 2024
Do you know what anosognosia means?
Anyone who knows someone who has a mental illness would benefit from reading this book. It is research based and very readable.
Anyone who knows someone who has a mental illness would benefit from reading this book. It is research based and very readable.
March 6, 2025
Love it
August 31, 2025
so helpful for a family member dealing with serious mental health and lack of insight.
September 11, 2025
Immensely helpful in how to support a loved one with mental health challenges. It's easy to follow and uses stories to grasp real life situations.
December 9, 2022
Amazing book on how to improve communication with both folks with mental health issues and the general public. I intend to take a course to improve my knowledge and use of LEAP (listen, empathize, acknowledge and partner).
July 8, 2025
super easy to read
March 13, 2024
Excellent!! A very hopeful and comforting book...insightful! Anyone dealing with mental health issues...a must read.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews