Et toi, quand est-ce que tu t'y mets ?: Intégrale

by Madeleine Martin

"Et toi, les enfants, c'est pour quand ?" rassemble les deux tomes de Vero Cazot et Madeleine Martin revus au sein d'une intégrale inédite. Jeanne, 35 ans, ne veut pas avoir d'enfant. Se réveiller toutes les heures, faire passer sa vie personnelle au second plan et accumuler les sacrifices pour un petit être tyrannique, très peu pour elle ! Et Jeff, son amoureux, est bien d'accord. Enfin il l'était... le jour où Jeff commence à courber l'échine sous les injonctions familiales et amicales, Jeanne voit son monde s'effondrer. Pour Lucie, c'est une épreuve bien particulière à laquelle elle va devoir faire face : l'avortement. Est-ce douloureux ? Va-t-elle le regretter ? En ressortira-t-elle traumatisée ? Les questions déferlent et les réponses que peut apporter internet la font se sentir coupable... Heureusement, elle peut compter sur Jeanne, qui a déjà eu à faire face à cette situation et l'épaule dans cette épreuve. L'intégrale "Et toi, les enfants, c'est pour quand ?" prend le contre-pied des injonctions sociales poussant les femmes à enfanter. La maternité est loin d'être un passage obligé au bon fonctionnement de l'épanouissement féminin et les autrices inscrivent leur œuvre dans ce courant de pensée moderne, tournant le dos aux diktats de la fameuse horloge biologique et autres sommations familiales.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Bande Dessinée, Comics, Nonfiction, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Womens

104 pages, Unknown Binding

First published January 12, 2022

Reviews

[Judey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written more as a series of comics than a graphic novel, we visit women in many stages of their lives.
All different, especially regarding their desires to have children.

Birth control, abortion, motherhood, adoption are all discussed. Also included are historical references that detail women’s health.

Interesting to me, and striking me discordantly- is the comment on the next to the last page that states in the U.S. some women aren’t free to decide if they want to keep a child or not.
To me, the word child undoes the rest of the book.
We don’t discard children.

[Sherilyn Moreton · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good collection of comics about two different women with different opinions on when/if they want children. As a childfree person myself, I identified a lot with this, though I find a lot of people in my circle don't ask me when/if I'm having children. I also don't have any people in my circle with children, so that might be a huge factor, and perhaps that might change in the future.

Either way, I enjoyed this book.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid read. Jean is 35 and a freelance photographer, and she's perfectly happy not being or even becoming a mother. Lucy is 20, gets pregnant, but isn't ready to become a mother... yet. 2 women's stories about not wanting to be mothers (or a mom yet) told in graphic novel format with delightful imagery and very vibrant panels.

Personally, I've always kind of been on the fence with motherhood myself - like if it happens, it happens? But reading Jean's story about her being in a solid relationship for 8 years with the same guy and continuing to make the choice. I admire it. It might be "selfish" to not want children, but isn't it also "selfish" to *want* to have them too? Who cares? You do you. I'll do me. I'm fine, thank you. ;)

[Isabella · Rating 3 out of 5]

An important read. Offers multiple important different perspectives and an important read for the current political climate. The illustrations are so fun and detailed. Highlights the importance of choice no matter the circumstances ❤

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book at the American Library Association conference from the publisher, Fair. Square Comics. Their tagline is “Comics from the rest of us.” The artists and writers are women or POC and the topics run the gamut from super heroes to memoir. This book is translated from French, so there are a few funny misspellings and grammar goofs that are just because of the translation. I imagine they could be annoying if you’re a purist but I thought they were charming. The comics are loosely connected 1-2 page spreads that follow the main character and her boyfriend, who are childless, her best friend and her husband who have a baby, and her best friend’s little sister. They start by covering all the things that women who don’t have kids are subjected to, and then move on to cover the strain that having a baby puts on the mother’s conception of herself and her primary relationship with the father, and ends with the younger character’s experience with obtaining an abortion for an unexpected pregnancy. The collection covers all points of view, even the guy’s—from the man who wants a baby but who’s partner doesn’t, to the guy who has a baby, to the guy who’s girlfriend is having an abortion. The drawings are cartoony but detailed and modern. It is such a strong female design and production, and I found it refreshing, poignant, and uplifting. I wish the USA was still a progressive place. It’s so frustrating to see the way things could be—the modern, inclusive, progressive future that is better for everyone just slipping away because of the regressive values of a few cheaters and liars and the apathy of the rest of us. I’m glad there are people speaking up for what is right—choice. The choice to control one’s own body, whether that is to have a baby and be a mother or not. I’ve never regretted my decision not to have kids, especially now. This was a cute, great read that I’m passing along to my niece.

[Christian Zal-Herwitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a tough one to rate! The reason is because the quality of the two stories is pretty discrepant, so basically I am splitting the difference. Part 1 details the travails of Jean, who experiences pressure from all corners to have a baby. There's no doubt that it's not cool that she is made to feel less than for not desiring motherhood, but unfortunately the story leans on all the reasons why abstaining is better than the alternative, rather than just as valid. There are a lot of straw man arguments put up against her choice, rather than an acknowledgment that either choice is more than acceptable. It left me feeling really turned off to what felt like Cazot's pretty reactionary take on the whole topic. I get why one might feel reactionary, but it doesn't make for enlightening reading.

Part 2, however, on abortion, was beautiful. This follows Lucy, who accidentally becomes pregnant and decides that it is just not the right time in her life to proceed with motherhood. We still see our same straw man as part 1, Adeline, imposing her views on pregnancy into the mix, but she is fleshed out much more effectively, and we see that she is dealing with her own insecurities. This story does a great job of depicting the hurdles that women have to confront even in a society where abortion is ostensibly legal and protected. It's just great and really moving.

So, yeah...hate not to be able to give this a higher rating, but if you do decide to get into it, do enjoy that second story--it's lovely. Also, shout-out to Madeline Martin (aka Marguerite Sauvage--with a name like that, why would you ever choose a pseudonym??), who never disappoints with her gorgeous artwork.

[Ilya Scheidwasser · Rating 3 out of 5]

No Kidding is a French graphic novel in two parts: the first part is about the struggle of being a woman who does not want to have kids, and the second part is about the struggle of being a woman who wants to get an abortion. The tone is generally light; stories only span one or two pages for the most part, with little jokes and some overarching narrative. The art is very cute, expressive, and colorful, although there are basically only two bodies in the book with different faces and clothing on top - a generic male body and a generic female body.

All that is to say, the book is a fast and enjoyable read. But, while I agreed with its general message (people should be free to make choices about their own bodies and reproduction, people put unfair pressure on others when it comes to children, etc.), the tone and humor often failed to resonate with me. The book can feel simplistic and reductive when it comes to portraying people who choose to have kids, and their ensuing lives as parents; it feels like the author is lashing back at unfair assumptions about childfree people by in turn making unfair assumptions about parents and children. This isn't to say that I found the book offensive, but it just didn't fully land with me as a measured and nuanced take on the choice of whether to have children. It's more of a collection of snark and pithy quips on the subject - which is all well and good if the humor lands, but for me it missed the mark. The second half, covering abortions, felt more insightful and deeply examined, although it generally stays with the same style as the first half.

[Halina Hetman]

Попередня робота авторки Betty Boob - один з моїх улюблених мальописів, тож я не роздумуючи взяла до рук щось новеньке від неї. До того ж, художниця ілюструвала цей комікс в типовому "французсько-жіночному" стилі, що нагадав мені Pénélope Bagieu. Madeleine Martin намалювала таких сексуальних вагітних жінок на обкладинці, і я зраділа, що зараз прочитаю щось класне й легке про шлях до материнства, фертильність й привабливість жіночого тіла.

Яким же розчарування було для мене, коли виявилося, що це книжка про чайлд-фрі й аборти, де буквально на кожній сторінці авторки підносять свій вибір не мати дітей над вибором інших людей їх мати, змальовують чайлд-фрі життя безкінечно сонячним і приємним, на відміну від батьківства, й виставляють матерів як нав'язливих, вічно втомлених, сварливих, зав'ялих тілом і обличчям, антисексуальних жінок. Не стала дочитувати, бо реальність зовсім не співпала з моїми очікуваннями щодо змісту цього коміксу.

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Both stories had insightful thoughts on motherhood.

The first one was about someone who NEVER wanted kids, and followed her life as a woman in a society that prioritizes motherhood.

The second one was about someone who just wasn't ready to become a mom, so she decided to get an abortion. It covered a lot about how hard it is to get an abortion, with all the passive-aggressive (or just aggressive) negative content there is out there about abortion (from "you're killing a baby you sl*t!" to "wow, look at your *baby* in your womb, don't you want to keep your *baby*? she looks just like you!").

As someone who likes kids but might not want them (I'll decide later), this book spoke to me a lot.

Five stars.

[Pyrrha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this quick graphic novel. The older I get and the more of the world I see, I’ve found myself not sure if I want kids anymore. They are expensive, time consuming and a lot of work that I honestly do not think I’m ready for. But kids are also so new to things and ready to learn and the idea of helping shape a person to be good to the world and others seems amazing. That being said, I felt I resonated with a lot of the first story which focused on just not wanting kids. The second story on getting an abortion as the person does not feel ready for a child at the moment was also really great. I read a few comments that said the graphic novel shows parenthood as only negative and not enough of the positive sides of it. I say that this is not what this graphic novel is about, it’s for the people who are told that their childless choice is a weird one and will change with time. It was written for the ones who have made a choice, believe in it and just need some familiar and positive validation that is often not given.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative, funny, and I've never felt more seen. Rarely do you see depictions of happy childfree people like the ones here (although i wasn't a fan of the bf, he still seemed too on the fence by the end) as well as depicting women who abort regret free bc, guess what, it's possible for women to be happy and content with their choices!! Really refreshing.

[Kassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book if you are questioning or would like to learn about why people are happy without kids. The small snippets of comics worked very well to convey how chaotic these decisions can be internally.

[wildct2003 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Collection of cartoons. I read all of the first set, skimmed the second set. Some translation errors.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well done!

[Moon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a straight story like 'I Don't Want to Be a Mom' more snippets in everyday life. Nice art.

[Thibault2000 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Les autrices passent à côté de leur sujet : les injonctions à la maternité, la pression sociale, le conformisme.

Le plus souvent, une collection d'anecdotes "être parent c'est trop nul c'est renoncer à sa vie sexuelle trop cool et ses voyages les parents sont des ringards les child-free sont trop cools". Manque de recul et de maturité, gros dommage car le sujet gagnerait à être mieux traité.

[Déa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ça m’a fais plaisir de les relire ! Même si elles sont sortie il y a 10 ans, ces BD m’ont fais du bien / rire / soulagée a l’époque. Et même si aujourd’hui je ne suis plus forcément en accord avec certaines visions, je l’aime bien quand même. C’est pas tout les jours qu’on a une BD sur le non désir d’enfant! Et la deuxième parle d’avortement. Des sujets intemporels.

[Karine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Plutôt 3,5. J'ai apprécié lire cette BD, les dessins et palettes de couleurs sont réussis, les arguments me parlent, mais je regrette peut-être un point de vue parfois trop négatif sur la maternité.