Who's Killing All My Old Girlfriends?

Old Guys Murder Mystery #1

by Jon Spoelstra

The cops think retired columnist Charlie North murdered his three old girlfriends. They want him to fry.

Can he catch the killers before the cops—or the killers—catch him?

Cornered, Charlie investigates the murders. He hires a stunning private detective. Good choice. As they dig up clues, Charlie dutifully reports their findings in his blogs, naming names, naming everything.

The blogs go wildly viral! It's like putting the investigations of all three murders on a sizzling griddle. (Spoiler: killers and cops don't like that.)

There is a rousing finish at a lonely Oregon beach house. Justice prevails in strange ways.

If you’re in the mood for a quirky mystery novel that plunks humor and suspense into the same MixMaster, put this book in your hands today.

By the way, this book doesn’t have cursing, not even amusing cursing. If this bothers you, feel free to let fly anytime you think it’s appropriate.

This is a fast read. Old guys like things fast.

Genres: Mystery, Humor, Fiction, Crime, Cozy Mystery, Ebooks, Mystery Thriller

323 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 17, 2022

About the author

I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.

Somewhere squishing around that thought, I write murder mysteries about old guys solving murders. If you’re under 40, you should pass on these novels. Wait at least ten years, then you’ll enjoy and appreciate them more.

If, however, you’re over 50, these mysteries might hit your sweet spot, well worth the try.

I’m a Wall Street Journal best-selling author, having written eleven novels and four non-fiction books. The Old Guys Murder Mystery series has been, by far, the most fun.

The Old Guys Murder Mystery books are fast reads. Old guys like things fast.

Happy reading,

Jon Spoelstra

Reviews

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A senior citizen blogger decides to write about the roads not taken, and writes about three fairly serious girlfriends he had before he got married.

They all wind up dead, and he's the main suspect.

There's a lot of old age jokes.

[Donald Harwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn’t put it down

Great read! We seemed to be running in place a bit at the beginning, but when Charlie started “chasing windmills “, IT MOVED!!

I could really identify with Charlie. Old in body, but young in heart. You sense that a lot of what is written comes from personal experience. (The aging experience.)

I loved Tuck and Mack. My daughter is LAPD and they sound like every partner she has.

The only knock against is the climax. It came off as a lampoon or caricature of the noir detective genre. Do you remember the phrase, “It was so bad it was good!”? This was so absurd, if my wife didn’t appear asleep I would have guffawed! AND I LOVED IT!

How much did I enjoy it? In addition to the fact I couldn’t put it down, I am going to download the second one as soon as I push “SUBMIT”.

[patrick mackin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having read over 100 books so far this year, this is the first that I almost stopped reading half way through! Totally unbelievable, so much so it should be rated a comedy. Reminds me of the insurance commercial where the teens run to the ax murderer's shack instead of leaving in a running car. Every thing the main character did throughout the book made me think he had a suicide wish or wanted to spend the rest of his life in prison. The ending was insane with everybody shooting everybody else....no thanks!

[Sara Vee · Rating 2 out of 5]

This definitely had legs to be a great story, but it felt redundant and rushed. Inalso didn't think the main character was particularly likable.

[Kirk Weikart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charlie North is a newspaper columnist turned blogger upon retirement. After cancer takes his wife of 41 years, Charlie decides to check up on his three pre-marriage girlfriends to see if Fate would have led to a better life if he had married one of them.

Each chapter begins with old guys jokes. As a man in the 4th quarter of like, I found them VERY funny.

Charlie's ex-cop golfing buddy Tuck makes the old girlfriends suggestion after a bad divorce and a high school reunion. This comes in handy after all three girlfriends end up being murdered while Charlie is in town. Tuck helps Charlie find some former law enforcement officials that help him investigate the murders, Can Charlie find the killer(s) before the police pursue Charlie as a suspect?

The characters are a lot of fun. The book is written with older guys as the target audience. Having graduated from high school and college in Portland, I enjoyed the specific locations and references. I am overjoyed that there are more books in this series.

[Jim Schugsta · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the story and the characters. My only issue is that in the first half of the book the author must have mentioned he was an old guy like 57,000 times. I got it after the first 100 times.

I’m hopeful this is not the case in the second book.

[Shelby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unusual cozy

Most cozies are written by women. Not this one! Charlie is a retired journalist, who keeps his hand in with a blog. Having lost his wife several months ago, he decides to do a series of what if stories. He had 3 serious girlfriends before meeting his wife. What would have happened if he had stayed with one of them. He travels to different states to take a look. All 3 women were murdered the night Charlie had met or surveilled them. And he becomes a person of interest. Luckily he's friends with a bunch of retired cops. What next? Oh, and there is a dog...

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Journalist turned blogger Charlie North decides to look up old girlfriends after a long, happy marriage, a way of wondering how fate had been to him, and reporting his results in his blog.

The first does NOT go well and things get ugly with two others. With Spoelstra sprinkling in quotes and jokes, Charlie investigates what’s going on, to his own peril but with good help. It’s worth reading and following Charlie as he does.

[Timothy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Either the protagonist is a complete idiot, has more money than sense, or has lost his grasp on reality. Okay, I understand the idea that a blogger might want to write about his past "loves" and see where life might have taken them. His willingness and ability to travel around the country to see the 3 women 40+ years after he last saw them, especially to only observe them for a few hours, started to lose me. The fact that all the old girlfriends are murdered within hours of his observing them lost me and even the lame attempt at an explanation near the end didn't help.

Speaking of the ending, wait, I'd rather not speak of the ending. It's a laughably bad effort to try to make the story fit together.

[Cidney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was very good!! A murder mystery and a comedy all rolled into one, it worked!! Charlie North and Ben Tucker two old retired blokes have just finished playing 18hole golf in 2hrs 30mins which they reckon is very good timing for their age. Charlie is a retired reporter for the Chicago Times and Ben is a retired copper working with the LA police department. Charlie began writing a weekly blog a few years back and he has quite a following, but he's running out of ideas for his blog, he tells Ben he thinks he might write about his old girlfriends, where they are now and did they marry, have they got kids etc.. Ben's not so sure, especially when Charlie says he is going to look each one up and pay them a visit. Now Ben is definitely not so sure.

Undeterred Charlie starts his blog, and true to form goes to see the 1st ex-girlfriend, she's in a bad way with children and doesn't want to know him, he writes about the second one in an unhappy marriage, then the third married to a millionaire. Then something odd happens, each old flame he's named has been found dead after he met with them. Charlie decides to flee Oregon and go revisit each one of their home towns and find what happened. Ben now definitely thinks this is not a good idea especially when the police begin looking for Charlie, he's now wanted for the murders of 3 of his ex-girlfriends! Charlie teams up with a private investigator who turns out to be a woman, and is a very good investigator and very handy in tight corners too. The book runs on with in depth looks at each girlfriend and family etc and he thinks he had some lucky escapes, but not obviously did the 3 murdered ex-girlfriends. And the police are tracking him down in each of the 3 towns where his exes lived, they are getting very close.

I really liked the humour in this book and warmed to both Charlie and Ben and the ending, well I did not see that coming!! I just think this book was brilliant!

[Douglas Dean · Rating 3 out of 5]

I normally rate books I take the time to read as 4 unless it is a life changing book. But in this there were situations that should have been written better. When Abel accosted Charlie in the Hotel: Abel said his Mom (Rhonda) showed him the article, but by that time she was already dead. Then there were references by Miller and Wolfe that Janine knew who the other 2 girlfriends were but she was not the last one in line of girlfriends, Rhonda was so how did she know who the other 2 were. They also got knew how Rhonda was murdered, besides that fact that even Charlie had to use a PI to find her with her new married name, how did they know she was murdered and how it happened? Then they followed Charlie to kill Yolanda, how did they know who Yolanda was?
Then the line of people getting shot after they tell their stories, just a bit much. I get that Tuck, Mack and Fulks were golfing, but where was Reggie as she was just down a few houses when this parade seemed to go on forever?
They took the time to wire up the house with cameras and push everything to the cloud, but when it came to proving the stories of the killers to the police there was no reference to using that as evidence. This was far fetched that the police would just take the word of a guy who just up and disappeared for a week instead of answering some questions.
Except for these blemishes it was a good story, but these blemishes really soured me on the book as a whole. Hopefully he got a better editor that would catch this going forward.

[Eric Woods · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mediocre Mystery

The first in the “Old Guys Murder Mystery” series, this book tells of an elderly journalist who is writing a blog about his ex-girlfriends. But after he visits each one, they are murdered. While he is a person of interest after the first one, things get hairy for the guy when the others are murdered, and he has to go into business for himself to solve each one. This book has equal parts good, bad, and ugly. THE GOOD - most of the funny anecdotes at the beginning of each chapter were good for a laugh. The plot itself is intriguing and makes you want to keep going to ultimately uncover the mystery. And there’s a dog (named Beach). That always makes a book better. THE BAD - too many over-the-top grumpy old guy stereotypes the main character espouses. Plus, there’s a lot of telling instead of showing. THE UGLY - the subtle and blatant political commentary (overstating his hatred of political correctness, how he regularly watches FOX “News,” and acting like “defund the police” was a real thing). The naivety and hot button political rants aside, the story was still fun to follow, as there was no one true suspect who would have followed the man to all of his ex-girlfriends’ cities and then kill them. Each murder had different suspects and motives. The big reveal, however, was meh at best. But it was an easy read if nothing else.

[Jeffrey Aitken · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel offers a witty and original twist on the murder mystery genre.

The plot centres on Charlie North, a retired columnist turned blogger, who revisits his old flames for material.

What begins as a nostalgic experiment darkens when each woman he contacts turns up dead, making him the prime suspect.

This unusual premise blends humour, crime, and reflection on ageing.

The characters shine, especially Charlie and his loyal friend Ben Tucker, whose golf course banter and dry wit drive much of the book’s charm.

Rhonda, the first ex-girlfriend, is vivid, with her chaotic energy and tragic end setting the tone for the mystery.

Spoelstra’s writing style is conversational, sharp, and often hilarious, keeping readers entertained even through reflective digressions.

Criticisms include uneven pacing, with golf scenes and fate musings sometimes slowing momentum.

Secondary female characters feel underdeveloped compared to Charlie and Ben.

Occasional tonal shifts between humour and tragedy can feel abrupt.

His age receives frequent mention. Perhaps an ancient memory forgets we know.

Recommended for readers who enjoy cosy mysteries with humour, sharp dialogue, and a fresh take on crime fiction.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

328 pages

4 stars

This is a fun book to read. No swearing, sex or violence. (Only allusions to it.)

This older fella writes a blog, but it is also shown on YouTube. He writes about ordinary, everyday things. It is wildly popular.

Mr. Spoelstra writes a funny little intro for each chapter.

He gets an idea to revisit his old girlfriends - before he became happily married. He and a friend track down each of the three women. He flies to wherever they are living. He tells the story of the meeting; what is said and what then happens. These stories are humorous as well.

When someone starts to murder his old girlfriends, the police assume that he is the murderer. He sets out to find the real killer. He hires a private detective. Whatever they uncover, he reports in his blog. It all goes viral.

The murderer and the police don’t appreciate this.

The writing and plotting of this novel is well done. It reads linearly and quickly.

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes “clean” mysteries, cozy mysteries or just to have a good laugh.

[M. Sprouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

You're older and someone is killing your old girlfriends. What a great idea for a book. It's also witty and doesn't take itself too seriously. This is my second Jon Spoelstra novel, the first being "Red Scare". Both definitely worth reading. I'd tell you what this one is about, but I think the title says it all.

There's a lot to like here, it's funny, has some neat old guys and at least one hot semi-young woman, not to mention my favorite character, Beach, the beach dog. The blog idea helps give structure and purpose to the plot. Charlie North reminds me of some of my older friends, except for the vegan part. Vegan's aren't allowed to live in West Virginia, just visit, even if that visit is for years.

I hope that Jon Spoelstra can come up with some new twist that will sustain this series. I plan on reading the next one, but if it's exactly like this one ... Anyway if you're over 59 you'll want to read this book.

[Brian Hefner · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were some parts of this book that I didn't like. The premise was weird to me, but I kind of understood and followed it. The way a lot of the writing was done wasn't quite the way I like to read, but still I enjoyed the camaraderie of the older fellows (I'm getting there myself). After the old girlfriend's were all 3 killed, really after the 2nd one, I have a hard time believing any sane person would keep traveling to the scene of the crime and especially with false id and such. I think in a real world situation, the police would have locked him up and thrown away the key and stopped looking for anyone else.
I'm in a place in my life where I am trying all kinds of different authors, some I've read in past and many I'm trying for first time. I will definitely come back to this series later, but going to move on to try some others first.
That's my honest opinion. Liked it quite a bit but just didn't wow me with this book, but won't give up just yet.

[Carôle Ceres · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook version of this title. Why is the next story not available on Audible!

I know that it goes to at least 6 books and this was such Easy Listening, I read it in one sitting!

Being myself of “a certain age” not as old as the 73 year old main character, but everything is SO RELATABLE! And funny. I like that he begins each chapter with an “oldism”, a totally unrelated saying or anecdote that old people say - some of them are very funny! 😁

This has the hallmarks of a great series - I do hope that they are released as audiobooks soon. The narrator was fabulous!

I don’t ordinarily like to do the comparison business, but, if you like The Thursday Murder Club series, then this is (mostly) all male American version! Wonderful diverse characters, living life large! 😆😆😆

[beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I did win this book in a Goodreads giveaway*

This was an interesting book. I really liked the plot and the scene where you find out who’s killed everyone.

I didn’t really like Charlie as a character. I just don’t understand how he had the money to do all that he did. He was flying places, staying in motels, hiring 4 people to investigate. I know he wanted to fix his roof or something and he had money from that, but I feel like paying someone like $2k a day adds up? And I also didn’t really like Bert Cain showing up at the end because there was like no point of him and Tinsel being lovers. I guess it was a way to make Reggie leave the scene. Also what happened to the letter that Alex sent to jimmy? Like I assume they were able to stop it in time but I feel like it was glazed over.

[Cate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relishing Life Every Lurch of the Way!

As a woman of a certain age, I enjoyed this book much as I would a lengthy conversation with a friend I’d known for years. I enjoyed Charlie creating and sharing his life lessons, his sometimes sweet, occasionally slightly acrid internal commentaries. The editing was superior to many books I’ve read, with only a couple of minor errors. The Chapter-opening jokes were a pleasant lead-in, and some of them were new to me! I will recommend this author to others who are making their way through aging-as well as their children, now in their fifties, who are finally seeing their parents as having more questions than answers.

[Karen greer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the most enjoyable books I have read in ages. When one thinks or is part of the so called twilight years read this book. Even if your are not part of this time read this book as you might get some i sight of what life was about before all the gadgets one now depends on. It is a very good mystery with unexpected twists and turns. It is funny throughout but has really touched on real life. It has a great cast of characters that one would love to have as friends. I enjoyed this book from beginning to the end. I am so glad this is a series as I am starting the next one as soon as I finish writing this review.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I rated this three stars. I increased it to four just because of the jokes in the beginning of each chapter. It was fun reading about a man and his friends doing the sleuthing.

If you like tidy, nicely tied-up, believable mysteries, this one is not for you. But if you need something fun to read that won't require too much brain power, I recommend this. I liked it enough to start reading the lead-in to #2 at the end of this one, and now I think I'm hooked on the series.

I'm not sure it can be defined as a cozy mystery because there is some violence, but nothing that made me not want to read it at bedtime.

[Janice Gard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually read this book several months ago and have read quite a few since so the details are not too clear. However I did enjoy it. Charlie North and his friend Ben Tucker are two likeable old guys who play golf most days and generally enjoy retirement. But sometimes they get involved in investigating murder, especially when Charlie is a suspect in the killings of three women from his past. The police think he's the killer so they aren't looking too hard for other possibilities. It's up to Charlie and Ben to find the truth. The story is told with both humor and serious notes. I went on to read several more in the series.

[Nicky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. For the most part it's a fun, enjoyable read. My issue with the book is the editing, and it's like the author forgets the character he created, like Charlie is a vegan who is always consuming animal products. The GMC Yukon that turns in to a Navigator. Reading a murder mystery, I like to pay close attention, you know, to try to slove the crime, but it ended just making me angry when the facts didn't match up. It took me way too long to read this book because I kept putting it down.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charlie North, a retired columnist and current blogger, decides to play the "what if" game in looking back at his former girl friends. What if he had married one of them instead of his wonderful life? This impromptu look into the past somehow results in all three of the ladies in question gettin murdered and Charlie being the prime suspect. The mystery plays out with Charlie getting assistance from his buddies and utilizing their network of friends and former co-workers. Charlie begins his own investigation - otherwise he's going to prison for a very long time. The story leaves you guessing all along the way and we had fun trying to determine who the killer was. I highly recommend "Who's Killing All My Old Girlfriends." It does make me think that leaving the past in the past may be the best idea yet!

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

First and foremost, I love old men. Respect your elders and whatnot. I also love a good mystery so this is right up my alley. Old guy’s wife dies (RIP) and he goes on a journey to see what his exes are doing now or what his life would be like if he chose them instead of her and he writes about it in a blog series. Shortly after they each wind up dead. The basis was pretty solid. Back that up with elderly humor and I’m all in. I felt like the ending was a bit over the top but hey, why not. I’ll definitely read the rest of this series.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rounded up from 2.5. This is a funny, light murder mystery but the lack of editing made it much less enjoyable than it could have been. There were so many instances where it was obvious the author had gone back to change a sentence and didn't completely delete the original section of the sentence they were editing. That kind of thing is so distracting to me that it really ruins the experience of reading.

[R J Mckay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from Goodreads in exchange for a review.

You’re never too old. This story proves it. A columnist turned blogger decides to write a piece on his old loves. This sets off a chain of events no one would ever expect. The banter is hilarious, the ‘action’ delightful. I thought of the movie “Grumpy Old Men" when I read this. It was such a fun story. The fact that it is book one of a series is the best. I can’t wait for the next book in the series.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous

I entered this when it was a Goodreads giveaway offering, but didn't win it at the time so I was happy to see it as a free Amazon e-book. It was funny...and not only the way in which it was written. The author also included amusing lines and jokes at the beginning of each chapter. It did have some spelling errors and missing words here and there. It was also politically incorrect at times. Still it made me laugh so I would recommend it.

[Irene Nowitzke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read

There are so many things to like about this book. The characters are very likeable and fun. I especially liked all the jokes at the beginning of chapters. I hope the writer continues that in future books. The reason for the four stars instead of five - this writer really needs a good proofreader. So many errors! All in all, I'm looking forward to more from this crew of old guys.

[Annestasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took a while but I read to the end. I'm of an age with this character and some! of the feelings/thought I agreed with.The story was intreaging so I kept at it.. definitely written by a 'Bloke of a certain age' The end was a bit of a downer, a bit of effort could have made that meatier. Not sure why surveillance cameras if in end they were all able to walk in but I'm Australian guns are not our go to.