What do you think?
Rate this book
Temperance Holocaust
Follow the radical leather clad nuns of TEMPERANCE HOLOCAUST as they spread the soiled word of the Black Metal Messiah across the southern United States circa 1998.
- GenresHorror
280 pages, Unknown Binding
Published April 15, 2022
3 people are currently reading
71 people want to read
About the author
B.J. Swann
22 books60 followersB.J. Swann is the incarnation of a cosmic demon who shall not be named. He has come to earth to usher in the Aeon of Chaos, an age of madness, mayhem, and pleasures undreamed of. He likes comic books, bubble tea, and boneless fried chicken.
Contact: bjswnn@gmail.com
Contact: bjswnn@gmail.com
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
March 15, 2022
There is everything to like and to entertain in this dark, hilarious and deliciously heretic tome. So much lust, bloodletting, sexual acts and drugs, just what Black Metal Jesus loves and endorses. Meet the band of Sisters who spread his Word in the group known as Temperance Holocaust. Four nuns who come from a convent of ill repute in Hungary; Sister Blood (lead guitarist), Hand of God, or HOG (lead singer), Sister Whoreface (drums) and Sister Leper Licker (bass), plus an unknown keyboard player (a session player). Each of the four Sisters show their devotion to their husband, the Black Dragon King in Heaven (aka Black Metal Jesus)
On tour in America with the Dark Ones of Darkness Festival, the Sisters attempt to wreak havoc, splatter the crowd with slimy roadkill, and pick fights with other bands and each other. All while on the drugs and alcohol that their master encourages and partakes of. Hallelujah! Erotic and outrageous acts are practiced both on stage and on tour busses. And oops, sometimes people get murdered. Poor Ted Decouche from Jizz Biscuit.
Battling with anyone who dares to pick a fight with them, it looks as if the Sisters are hot on the path to Armageddon. Hang onto your panties! You will witness more desecration, self-flagellation, dead animal parts and blood than in any other book. These ladies are FIERCE as ... oh, I gotta go. I see fire.
Many thanks to authors Elizabeth Bedlam and BJ Swann for offering me a review copy of this book. I loved it!
On tour in America with the Dark Ones of Darkness Festival, the Sisters attempt to wreak havoc, splatter the crowd with slimy roadkill, and pick fights with other bands and each other. All while on the drugs and alcohol that their master encourages and partakes of. Hallelujah! Erotic and outrageous acts are practiced both on stage and on tour busses. And oops, sometimes people get murdered. Poor Ted Decouche from Jizz Biscuit.
Battling with anyone who dares to pick a fight with them, it looks as if the Sisters are hot on the path to Armageddon. Hang onto your panties! You will witness more desecration, self-flagellation, dead animal parts and blood than in any other book. These ladies are FIERCE as ... oh, I gotta go. I see fire.
Many thanks to authors Elizabeth Bedlam and BJ Swann for offering me a review copy of this book. I loved it!
April 24, 2023
Wow!!! Wow!!! Wow!!!
Temperance Holocaust by BJ Swann and Elizabeth Bedlam is an unique story. It is a jewel of nonconformity. I never read something like that! Every aspect of this book is so bizarre, grotesque, violent, gore, gross and unusual. This is a perfect recipe for a great hilarious splatterpunk read. I loved it!!
This is the tale of four nuns who want to spread the Word of Jesus. What is unique about that, you would ask me? Everyone who wants to know Jesus Word can. It’s easy and it’s nothing new. I’m not talking about Jesus, but Black Metal Jesus!
Sister Blood Cunt Christ Fucker (Blood), Sister The Hand of Glory (HOG), Sister Leper Licker and Sister Whoreface are black metal nuns who consider themselves as the brides of Black Metal Jesus. They want everyone to know his gospel. Which is to drink booze, take drugs, fuck all night long. To sleep in day and live by the dark. To spill blood and set things on fire. To smash all the rules and leave this retarded society in rubble! Only by hating humanity and doing whatever the fuck you want can you appease Him. Yep! You read everything correctly.
This is so confusing!! Are they Satanist? Not at all! They hate them with a passion. I don’t want to write what their Black Metal Messiah would do to Satan. I’ll let you read about it.
So, these sisters decided to create an underground Christian black metal band named, Temperance Holocaust.
If you like to read about crazy characters who do blasphemous acts in a creative and brutal way, this story is for you. You’ll love it.
I Enjoyed the journey! This book is an over the top satire.
I highly recommend it!!!
Temperance Holocaust by BJ Swann and Elizabeth Bedlam is an unique story. It is a jewel of nonconformity. I never read something like that! Every aspect of this book is so bizarre, grotesque, violent, gore, gross and unusual. This is a perfect recipe for a great hilarious splatterpunk read. I loved it!!
This is the tale of four nuns who want to spread the Word of Jesus. What is unique about that, you would ask me? Everyone who wants to know Jesus Word can. It’s easy and it’s nothing new. I’m not talking about Jesus, but Black Metal Jesus!
Sister Blood Cunt Christ Fucker (Blood), Sister The Hand of Glory (HOG), Sister Leper Licker and Sister Whoreface are black metal nuns who consider themselves as the brides of Black Metal Jesus. They want everyone to know his gospel. Which is to drink booze, take drugs, fuck all night long. To sleep in day and live by the dark. To spill blood and set things on fire. To smash all the rules and leave this retarded society in rubble! Only by hating humanity and doing whatever the fuck you want can you appease Him. Yep! You read everything correctly.
This is so confusing!! Are they Satanist? Not at all! They hate them with a passion. I don’t want to write what their Black Metal Messiah would do to Satan. I’ll let you read about it.
So, these sisters decided to create an underground Christian black metal band named, Temperance Holocaust.
If you like to read about crazy characters who do blasphemous acts in a creative and brutal way, this story is for you. You’ll love it.
I Enjoyed the journey! This book is an over the top satire.
I highly recommend it!!!
May 16, 2022
Truly an original fun stroll through disgusting debauchery, death, drugs and rock and roll.
Satanic groups tussle with the one and only 'all nun' Black metal Messiah group in a highly unusual and totally OTT Battle of the Bands tournament to impose their own particular brand of crazy, alternative cult religious ideologies with the aim of expanding on their own particular manic fan base of zombified brainwashed believers and ultra-violent, obsessed, demented devotees.
Explicit adult humour throughout and lots of filthy depraved good, good, and not-so-good, black goth 'nun' fun.
Very enjoyable, but perhaps not to everyone's taste - future disciples, be prepared to partake and be blessed.
Rating: 4.4 fun-fuelled, insane black stars...and holes!
Satanic groups tussle with the one and only 'all nun' Black metal Messiah group in a highly unusual and totally OTT Battle of the Bands tournament to impose their own particular brand of crazy, alternative cult religious ideologies with the aim of expanding on their own particular manic fan base of zombified brainwashed believers and ultra-violent, obsessed, demented devotees.
Explicit adult humour throughout and lots of filthy depraved good, good, and not-so-good, black goth 'nun' fun.
Very enjoyable, but perhaps not to everyone's taste - future disciples, be prepared to partake and be blessed.
Rating: 4.4 fun-fuelled, insane black stars...and holes!
October 26, 2022
Temperance Holocaust will be entering the studio this winter with plans to record a second album.
Prayer to the BLACK METAL MESSIAH
O' most holy rotten Heart
of Christ, infected wound
of every blessing
I Adore thee, Love thee
and with disgust and sorrow
for my sins, I offer thee
the wretched pathetic
unworthy heart of mine.
Make me beg, crawl,
worship, and wholly
obedient to your soiled Word,
so that I may live and die
with thee deep inside,
penetrating me for
all the days you allow
me to live on the wretched
disgusting planet.
Comfort me in my
daily self-mutilations
and celebrate my
afflictions of body; gift
me your holy
methamphetamines,
assistance in my sexual needs
Thy blessing on all malice
I spread, and the grace
of a slow painful death.
Rotten heart of Christ,
with a fist, by a blade, grant
that I may ever submit to thee
ALL HAIL the Black Dragon Jesus Christ!
Prayer to the BLACK METAL MESSIAH
O' most holy rotten Heart
of Christ, infected wound
of every blessing
I Adore thee, Love thee
and with disgust and sorrow
for my sins, I offer thee
the wretched pathetic
unworthy heart of mine.
Make me beg, crawl,
worship, and wholly
obedient to your soiled Word,
so that I may live and die
with thee deep inside,
penetrating me for
all the days you allow
me to live on the wretched
disgusting planet.
Comfort me in my
daily self-mutilations
and celebrate my
afflictions of body; gift
me your holy
methamphetamines,
assistance in my sexual needs
Thy blessing on all malice
I spread, and the grace
of a slow painful death.
Rotten heart of Christ,
with a fist, by a blade, grant
that I may ever submit to thee
ALL HAIL the Black Dragon Jesus Christ!
April 22, 2023
"ALL HAIL BLACK METAL JESUS!!" 🤘😇🤘
WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!
Not only is this a beautiful looking book, it's completely and utterly insane, extraordinary and funkin' fabulous!
The copyright page alone is brilliant and let's you know this book is going to be filled with wicked humour!
I absolutely could not put this book down, it had me completely hooked from the outset. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and couldn't wait to get home from work to continue reading it!
It all kicks off with a group of black metal nuns, (yes, you read that right! 😉), putting on a gig - and holy shit is it wild!!
Temperance Holocaust are the craziest group of nuns you're ever likely to meet, and they are using black metal to spread the word of Black Metal Jesus.... and of sex, drugs, death and mayhem! And that is exactly what this book is full of!
It's a fast tempo, raw, atmospheric tale full of mosh pits, rotting carcasses, body snatching, necrophilia, blood, (so much blood), sex, drugs and metal! 🤘
The band names and even the band member names are awesomely creative, and the references to real life are hilarious! I wish I could share some with you, but I dont want to spoil anything!
OK, OK, I'll give you just one example, just to give you a taster.... 'Leper Licker'.... NOW GO READ IT!! 😂
The scenes with Ted and Kyle are gnarly and depraved, Kyle is so delusional it's almost heartbreaking. I loved following the story of them both.
This book had EVERYTHING! It was savage, humorous, insane, bizarre and bloody, and the ending was extraordinarily crazy and insane!
This has easily become one of my fave books of this year! 🤘😍🤘
Now, I'm off for some See You Next Tuesday Union (read the book and you'll understand! 😉) And to get myself a Temperance Holocaust tshirt!!
5/5 black metal horns 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘
WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!
Not only is this a beautiful looking book, it's completely and utterly insane, extraordinary and funkin' fabulous!
The copyright page alone is brilliant and let's you know this book is going to be filled with wicked humour!
I absolutely could not put this book down, it had me completely hooked from the outset. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and couldn't wait to get home from work to continue reading it!
It all kicks off with a group of black metal nuns, (yes, you read that right! 😉), putting on a gig - and holy shit is it wild!!
Temperance Holocaust are the craziest group of nuns you're ever likely to meet, and they are using black metal to spread the word of Black Metal Jesus.... and of sex, drugs, death and mayhem! And that is exactly what this book is full of!
It's a fast tempo, raw, atmospheric tale full of mosh pits, rotting carcasses, body snatching, necrophilia, blood, (so much blood), sex, drugs and metal! 🤘
The band names and even the band member names are awesomely creative, and the references to real life are hilarious! I wish I could share some with you, but I dont want to spoil anything!
OK, OK, I'll give you just one example, just to give you a taster.... 'Leper Licker'.... NOW GO READ IT!! 😂
The scenes with Ted and Kyle are gnarly and depraved, Kyle is so delusional it's almost heartbreaking. I loved following the story of them both.
This book had EVERYTHING! It was savage, humorous, insane, bizarre and bloody, and the ending was extraordinarily crazy and insane!
This has easily become one of my fave books of this year! 🤘😍🤘
Now, I'm off for some See You Next Tuesday Union (read the book and you'll understand! 😉) And to get myself a Temperance Holocaust tshirt!!
5/5 black metal horns 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘
March 23, 2022
This book is just full of gore, sex, drugs, and metal. This is about a band of black metal nuns with some very interesting names. Temperance Holocaust follows their misadventures. The story goes from 0-100 very fast. B.J. Swann and Elizabeth Bedlam work so well together in this novel. The climax is awesome. It is very graphic which I love. Thanks to the authors for sending me an ARC. Be sure to pick this up when it releases you don't wanna miss this.
June 13, 2022
Yeah! Black Metal Jesus! Loved this. So brutal. 2 great, amazing authors combine!
Love all the 90's throwbacks to Burzum, Mayhem, Hellhammer lol. 90's Black Metal yessss
Reminds me of the Cradle of Filth shirt - Jesus was a C$unt with the nun and the crucifix. lol
"Father Frederick Fiddler (lol) of the Jesus Christ congregation said Black Metal Christians were the spawn of the Belezebub, whose heathen buttholes will burn in the Hell for all eternity.:
F'n classic.
Great job ya'll!
Love all the 90's throwbacks to Burzum, Mayhem, Hellhammer lol. 90's Black Metal yessss
Reminds me of the Cradle of Filth shirt - Jesus was a C$unt with the nun and the crucifix. lol
"Father Frederick Fiddler (lol) of the Jesus Christ congregation said Black Metal Christians were the spawn of the Belezebub, whose heathen buttholes will burn in the Hell for all eternity.:
F'n classic.
Great job ya'll!
Read
April 16, 2022It's Easter time, and the new Swann + Bedlam book is out!
SPINAL TAP meets LORDS OF CHAOS as the radical leather clad nuns of TEMPERANCE HOLOCAUST spread the soiled word of the Black Metal Messiah across the southern United States.
CONTAINS: drug use, blasphemy, black metal, mystical visions, orgies, corpse molestation, naughty nuns, murder, and fun!
Available on Amazon!
SPINAL TAP meets LORDS OF CHAOS as the radical leather clad nuns of TEMPERANCE HOLOCAUST spread the soiled word of the Black Metal Messiah across the southern United States.
CONTAINS: drug use, blasphemy, black metal, mystical visions, orgies, corpse molestation, naughty nuns, murder, and fun!
Available on Amazon!
August 6, 2022
All hail Black Metal Jesus! This book is phenomenal. It's disgusting, depraved, gory, and absolutely hilarious. I would love to read the further adventures of the Sisters of Temperance Holocaust.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews