Trainwreck: My Life as an Idoit

by Jeff Nichols

Growing up a privileged Manhattan kid, Jeff Nichols should have had it all. Instead, he got a plethora of learning disabilities, a speech impediment, dyslexia, ADD, and a mild case of Tourette's syndrome.

In Trainwreck , his weird and witty memoir of utter dysfunction, Nichols gives an irreverent look at how one "idoit" made good. Bounced from elite private schools, he limps through college, earning the nickname "Iron Lung" for his uncanny ability to inhale from a four-foot bong without coughing. By the skin of his teeth, he graduates and lands a job on Wall Street...as a moving target for coked-up traders tossing order cards at his head. Bumming money from his parents to pay for drugs and prostitutes, Nichols hits bottom before he discovers Alcoholics Anonymous, the perfect place to develop material for his new career in stand-up. Several disastrous twists and turns later, he finally makes good when a crazy stroke of luck leads to his story being turned into a feature film by the same production company behind indie hits like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Savages .

Hilarious and oddly inspiring, Trainwreck is proof that a life disastrously lived can still turn out beyond anybody's wildest imaginings.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Health, Humor

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Direct-DVD... author wins lotto...then goes mad!
Hi, I am a b-level humorist; a pretty good story teller with a knack for recognizing the absurd. I have written three books, "OM", (createsspace )a short satire/novella about a pussy rubbing cult) based off of a Penthouse article I wrote in 2013. "Caught" (Creatspace,(about a black market fishing industry I was involved with, book did not sell well but almost got me killed) and Train Wreck self-published at first, but eventually picked up by Simon and Schuster. (Memoir based on some crappy jobs I had, and being confined to special education as a kid) Miraculously, lightning struck, and Train Wreck was made into a movie by Now closed: This is That productions (ted Hope Any Carey and others) and released by Lions Gate films in 2012, it was/is featured on HBO, for six month 2014-15. (new name American loser, name changed to stir an association with American Pie Trilogy Stars Seann William Scott, Gretchen MOl, Jeff Garlin..little cameo from one of my favorite author Jonathan Ames!) Though it somehow got a good review in Variety magazine, The movie is not great: no arche, no obstacles to over come for protagonist, no conflict, no resolutions, THESE ingredients must be present in all films idie or not (one star on Redbox.com and NExflix.. rather than entertain, AL made people angry ;they express there indignation by posting on sites..NOT A COMEDY!! etc, they felt doped..so angry they felt the need to review!) a little too slow for most, nor was the memoir great, the fish rots from the head, looking back, though it had good/funny sections, It was too episodic. NO/weak narrative! established competent agents and publishers told me this early on, but, still wanting to be the toast of the literary town, I did not want to listen to the establishment , so I went with the vanity Press. The result: a bad book made a bad movie, no supersize there. ( nO I am am not being self-deprecating in this case, though I do use that as a devise/crutch often)
I run a very modest (as in, no money) fishing business out in Montauk NY. I was a stand up for a spell. When not living off/with my parents, I've make most of my money from writing, fishing, substitute teaching, and walking dogs in NYC. I also sold my self-published books on the street of New York. ( as Shown in PIcs.)
Side note: s plea to stop the insanity of self-publishing.
self-publishing is a rough road for most/too many people are doing it:300,000 in USA alone last year, 1.3 million uploaded last year world wide.!! Stop the insanity! SP is full of seduction, all the platforms, blogging, podcasts, hopes of "social media", translating to sales, lure us in. We drink the Cooliad. we are INCURRAGED by the few that hit it big, and follow them off the cliff: el Jmaes, fifty Shades of Gray Ect, (and there are a few more but most of the sP books are in Si fi Romance and usually have a Vampire or a Werwolf as there central character.) but in reality SP is road, I think for most anyway. to misery, to desperation. To annoying FB friends to repost links, then hating them when they don't. IN the end, lured by fame and notoriety, Self- publishing industry drops most of us off by an Underpass on a buzzy, smog choked free-way, bewildered, holding only our shoes, watching, helplessly as cars fly by.
I digress: On a lighter note!! I have had stuff appear in Penthouse mag, THE New York Post, Dans paper, The Fisherman mag, and The New York Press , plus, THe Long Island Pulse., and our town.! I have been a guest on on NPR and the Howard Stern show. as a comic, I have opened for Pat copper, Lewis Black, Kevin Klein.
new book coming out in June:
How MY Slef Published Memoir, made it to Hollywood, and other self-publishing disasters

Reviews

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jeff's story telling expertise had me laughing out loud & recounting episodes to my friends! Having met his step brother and spent a weekend in the 90's at his family's quirky charming house in upstate NY, added another dimension to the witty memoir. Interesting notes on the process of optioning his book to film.

[Natasha Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is absolutely hilarious. It had me at the edge of my seat with laughter and never a dull moment. If you don't have a perverted or any sense of humor I do not recommend this book for you. It's a quick and easy fun read.

[Parker Rock · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was so refreshing. he's honest with you from the start that the book is just him making fun of himself and telling stories of fucked up things he did. if ur going into it expecting more than that you may be disappointed, but that's kinda on you. however unfortunately it's definitely dated and at points very very difficult to get through his sexism and racism.

[Hemz · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was unimpressive and the character was unlikable. The book started with high hopes as the comedy was spot on but as I continued reading the- it just seemed to fall apart. Quite disappointed as I wanted to like this book and kept waiting for it to pick up.

[Cheyenne · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was ok, not hilarious by any means but a good enough read

[Stephen Bird · Rating 3 out of 5]

"......... When life gives you lemons, not everyone makes lemonade, but in the case of "Train Wreck", Jeff has done just that. Thank the Universe (or whatever cosmic deity you choose) this book is politically incorrect, because if it wasn't, it would have been a bore. As someone who has spent years in the NYC alternative comedy / performance art / Way Off Broadway lowest level of show business (lower than Jeff), I understand how cruel, bleak and depressing the reality of being a writer / performer / performance artist / comedian can be. Whenever Jeff experienced yet another failure, real or imagined, I could relate to having been there -- to the horrible, soulless day jobs -- and to his struggle to persevere. He laments that life ultimately ends up being a series of administrative tasks.

Regarding Jeff's background -- the grass is not always greener in the world of the cold, unhappy, moneyed WASP and his non-giving "holding pattern". And as much as I respect the fact that 12 Step programs have saved countless lives, I am so grateful to my Higher Power that Jeff made fun of how ridiculous, indulgent and hypocritical 12-Steppers can be (including himself), in the process showing himself to be an independent thinker, and not just another maxim-spouting participant in the herd mentality. Through all of this, "Train Wreck" vividly portrays the absurdity of the "Broadway Danny Rose" nature of the New York City demi-monde. If you want to stay sober, read this book!!!!! (JUST KIDDING -- go to a meeting -- LOSER!!!!!) ..........

-- Stephen C. Bird, author of "Hideous Exuberance: A Satire""

[Jessica]

hobart grad wrote this and i didnt realize until page 6. then he wrote atleast 8 pages about hobart that i definitely had moments of, laugh out loud and i am getting away reading this for a grad class

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is nothing I can say except it allowed me to laugh a lot (like people staring at me on the train or in public) about some of my serious issues, and its been a long time since i have been able to do that.

[Christopher Jayy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not very good. I laughed occasionally, and the story was decent, but you could tell that it was edited numerous times and the writing still wasnt very good. It's pretty inspirational in that it makes me want to do something with my life, but i think if i were you i'd save my $14.
Not very good.

[Bev · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished this book in one sitting during a break between my classes. Sentences seemed a bit overcooked and the mostly self-degrading humor didn't successfully appeal to me. Though, I applaud him for the courage to spill such embarrassment and for the way he pointed out the devilish MDMA.

[Chris Nitsch · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too many of these books...an not very funny comedian blames his screwed up life on dyslexia. It became not fun at page 25!

[Trav S.D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://travsd.wordpress.com/2009/12/1...