We Can Say No

by Lydia Bowers, Isabel Muñoz (Illustrator)

A story that helps teach young children that it’s okay to say no.

Feeling empowered to say no is a key foundation of consent. We Can Say No builds children’s social and emotional skills and helps teach them that it’s okay to say no.
 
The fifth book in the We Say What’s Okay series, We Can Say No follows Zakiya and Sami as they learn that their bodies, including their hair, belong to them and that no one should touch them without permission. Using the book as a read-aloud, educators and families can model the language Zakiya and Sami’s teacher uses to support them. The author, who hosts workshops and trainings on teaching boundaries and consent for families and early childhood educators around the country, offers additional activities in the back of the book.
 
Digital content includes a song from Peaceful Schools with downloadable audio files and sheet music.

We Say What's Okay Series
Centered around a class of preschoolers, this series helps teach young children the social and emotional skills they need to understand the complexities of consent. Each book covers a consent theme, such as how to recognize the physical sensations that emotions create, look for body language cues, ask for and listen to choices, and know that our bodies have value. With believable, everyday situations and diverse characters, children can see themselves and others reflected in each story—and develop a vocabulary to communicate consent and feelings. Every book in the series is accompanied by its own song from Peaceful Schools with downloadable audio files and sheet music.

 

Genres: Picture Books, Childrens, Parenting

36 pages, Hardcover

Published October 4, 2022

About the author

Lydia Bowers is a speaker, consultant, and trainer who happily exists in the Venn diagram overlap between early childhood and sex education. After spending almost two decades of working directly with children as a classroom teacher and a parent, she is passionate about reframing sexuality conversations. Lydia now teaches families and educators how to talk to children about subjects like gender, reproduction, and abuse. When she’s not traveling around the country for conferences and speaking engagements, she lives in Cincinnati with her husband and two children and adds to her growing collection of children’s book character tattoos as often as she can. Follow her on TikTok @consenteducator and Instagram @lydiambowers.

Reviews

[Aolund · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this series definitely has an instructional vibe, the story and information are good. This is a strong and effective book about consent and how it is always okay to say no when people touch any part of our bodies when we don't want them to.

Themes: Consent
Age range: Preschool-Kindergarten

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this was one of the better ones in the series. Consent starts with the small things- No, I don't want you to touch my hair. We teach kids to be polite, to respect adults, etc; so I like that this book says, 'yeah, but... it's your body and people need to respect your 'no.' I like that they have an adult say, explicitly: 'Other people should respect your body even if you don't say 'please.' The stuff at the back of the book is normally kind of same-y, but this one has a really helpful reminder about how we shouldn't "let an adult's discomfort overrule a child's bodily autonomy." Important stuff- I'm glad it's out there.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

very gentle book for helping to say no

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yay a consent. Boo too didactic.

[skcocnaH · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really applicable and concise book about autonomy, and good touch/bad touch. Lovely illustrations as well 😊.

[Jenae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the concrete examples of how setting a boundary may look as a child. Also lots of helpful info in the back for grown ups.