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4 pages, Audiobook
First published February 15, 2022
Was there something wrong with her father’s spirit going into her after he died? More of what had oppressed her in her living? The life in him had always wanted to join her, and in his death, it finally did. For many years, his desire to be so close had been a bit of a problem, but in death it had become the most beautiful thing. In life, he had given her his entire life, but this had been a problem. In death, he had given her what remained of his life, and this was the most beautiful thing.
All the reading they had done in the hopes of transporting themselves, a transporting that finally happened with death, which delivered them the transporting they had hoped for by reading, while fearing it in the form of death – all while longing for it in reading!
To find the right distance from everything in life is the most important thing.
Are you sad to be living in the first draft—shoddily made, rushed, exuberant, malformed? No, you are proud to be strong enough to be living here now, one of God's expendable soldiers in the first draft of the world. There is some pride in having been created to make a better world to come. There is some pride in being the ones who were made to be thrown out.
I would like to come back after my death and see—
What?
Whether my works were kept by humanity. Whether my art is being exhibited fifty, seventy-five, a hundred years from now.
So you want to return to earth to google yourself?
Yes. Immortality means googling yourself forever.
One sunny afternoon, when Mira and her father were standing in the garden, he promised that one day he would buy her all sorts of mysterious, rare and marvellous things, including pure colour — not something that was coloured, but colour itself! Colour itself came in hard little circular disks, and was shiny like a polished stone or a polished jewel, but with its colour deep inside it. It showed its colour on the outside, for its outside was what it was all the way through. But unlike a gemstone, it didn’t emanate colour. Its colour sat there, turned inwards. Pure colour was introverted, like a shy little animal. Mira had never seen pure colour before, but she guessed there was probably lots that her father knew about, and could show her, and give her, besides these discs. But as Mira got older, it became harder to love him in the proper dimensions, or even to know what those were; any interest she developed in another person felt like it was taking something from him, since he had no one to love but Mira. It was generally a pleasure to be with him, but something always interfered. It was the heat of his fur, which followed her everywhere — clinging and itchy; but also comforting, home.
After God created the heavens and the earth, he stood back to contemplate creation, like a painter standing back from the canvas. This is the moment we are living in — the moment of God standing back. Who knows how long it has been going on for? Since the beginning of time, no doubt. But how long is that? And for how much longer will it continue?
• She had thought that when someone died, it would be like they went into a different room. She had not known that life itself transformed into a different room, and trapped you in it without them.
• The heart of the artist is a little bit hollow. The bones of the artist are a little bit hollow. The brain of the artist is a little bit hollow. But this allows them to fly.
• A great artist rests back in the easy chair of his talent, and it’s like resting back in the warm hand of God. But Manet’s talent does not rest, and he is oblivious to his own stumbling. He is like a dog who walks with three legs, who believes himself no different from a dog who walks with four! He wants the public to do his job — they should simply feel enchanted. He asks the public to finish his painting, for he is lazy and incapable.
Here we are, just living in the credits at the end of the movie. Everyone wants to see their name up on a screen. And whoever wants it is capable of putting it there. That is the work we are doing collectively now: just putting our names up on a screen. We have been given the technology for this one minor thing, here at the very end of the world, this one consolation, this booby-prize.




